Sex and newlyweds!

[lotusblossom]

Hmm, I guess I will have to be careful here! I have only had 1 yeast infection and MAYBE a UTI when I was a little girl… but I’m sure I could become more prone if I’m not careful now that I’m married.

As far as going pee afterwards, I do this as well just naturally. I hope this isn’t too explicit of a question, but it did occur to me – when urinating afterwards, obviously seminal fluid finds its way out. If a couple is TTC, is it better to sort of… “wait” to urinate and let the SF “find its way in a bit better” ? I’m sure a great deal of it remains inside even after urinating… This seems a little bit silly of a question (and we aren’t TTC yet) but I thought about it several times.

You know, my parents suffered with infertility, so to speak, for ten years. When my bestfriend was TTC and after over a year of trying and no luck, she asked my mom what she could do. One of my mom’s suggestions was to wait to urinate afterwards for this very reason. Now, I know many will say “NO!” because of the possibility of a UTI, but I think it depends on the person as to how prone one is to getting one. My mom did this and never once got a UTI, but I would probably say it’s not the first thing you should try to do. Besides, if you’re not having trouble TTC, then it’d be much better to just use the bathroom right away so you don’t risk any other problems .

 

[Catholic_Boy]

We waited, the first time was amazing but it didn’t really have much to do with the physical realities of sex. My wife has been an avid soccer player since her family immigrated (she’s an Arabic Christian), I sort of assumed with all that running and streching the hymen would not to be intact. I was wrong and was worried about hurting her at all. We were both pretty tried and probably would have just gone to sleep if we both hadn’t been completely convinced for some reason you just absolutely had to have sex for the first time on the wedding night.
As much as my wife hates any hockey/sex analogy, it’s a lot like playing defense. When you’ve got a new partner it’s difficult because you aren’t accustomed to the other persons “style of play” and the communication isn’t as effective. After you’ve been “playing” together awhile you come to know what your partner will do, and wants you to do, in any situation. Then your “defense” gets a lot better. Of course, some “games” will be better than others. That’s true of anything you do, whether it’s making love or playing hockey.

The issue of whether sex is overrated or not greatly depends on what you mean. Inside a marriage it can be a wonderful thing for two spouses. On a cultural level, people (married or otherwise) are obessed with sex. Any time obession takes place you have something being idealized to standards that nothing in an imperfect world could ever reach. For example, the “Viagra culture” of today. It’s perfectly natural for people that are leaving their child bearing years behind them to lose interest in sex. But an obessed culture is telling them they need to be poping pills and having sex whether they want to or not. In the grand scheme of things there are a lot of things in a marriage more important than sex, but modern culture certainly wouldn’t acknolwege that. So in that sense, sex is overrated.

I hope this is within the realm of acceptable questions to ask, but I am engaged and know that my fiance and I are both virgins and I am curious as to what other newlyweds experiences are with the first time in regards to the hymen and any advice about approaching it on our wedding night?

 

[Catholic_Boy]

Guess I should have put this in my first post, but oh well Im new at this.

Question: I am curious as to how many people here struggled sexual sins before marriage and how that may have affected your marriage? I realize that this is tough to acknowledge for many, but I am one who was raised in a Protestant environment that did not place much if any emphasis upon sexual morality and in fact many said that certain sexual practises were healthy, so at an early age I have struggled with the sin of masturbation and now I am engaged and am worried about its consequences upon our marriage. Note: I am actively struggling with this, but have been trying to stop ever since I joined the Catholic church and knew the error of my ways. Any help or advice?

 

[Truly_Beloved]

I hope this is within the realm of acceptable questions to ask, but I am engaged and know that my fiance and I are both virgins and I am curious as to what other newlyweds experiences are with the first time in regards to the hymen and any advice about approaching it on our wedding night?

Welcome to the forums!!

If you’re scared of blood getting everywhere (I know we were ), then put a few towels underneath the two of you. I didn’t have a lot of blood, and it mostly came out when I stood up right afterwards to go to the bathroom.

Every woman is different. Some virgins don’t have intact hymens due to a variety of possible factors (which, I think, include participation in sports, a gynecological exam, tampon usage, etc.), so breaking a hymen may not even be something that happens.

 

[Truly_Beloved]

Note: I am actively struggling with this, but have been trying to stop ever since I joined the Catholic church and knew the error of my ways. Any help or advice?

Read The Good News About Sex and Marriage by Christopher West. It’s an excellent book for all engaged couples!

As for specifically addressing the masturbation issue, start with doing a search on the forums for information. The search function is located toward the top of the page, along the bar that is directly below the image of Our Lady and Baby Jesus.

You might also want to start another thread; that way, the people who have shared in your struggle will have an easier time finding your question.

 

[Jay2]

but I am engaged and know that my fiance and I are both virgins and I am curious as to what other newlyweds experiences are with the first time in regards to the hymen

Before anyone “goes off” (and I’m not remotely suggesting anything here) your fiance’s hymen may not even be intact. If she’s a “sporty” gal, or into gymnastics/yoga/karate, or even a difficulty with a feminine hygene product in her past… it may not even be there… it may have ruptured/broken and been long dismissed as part of a menstrual cycle.

You’re already prepared… Aware of the “what if’s”. Just go easy, and let nature take it’s course… (Re-read post #2 and laugh with me & my wife). Without going into TMI, maybe some “personal lubricant” available would be a good idea…

 

[Truly_Beloved]

Before anyone “goes off” (and I’m not remotely suggesting anything here) your fiance’s hymen may not even be intact. If she’s a “sporty” gal, or into gymnastics/yoga/karate, or even a difficulty with a feminine hygene product in her past… it may not even be there… it may have ruptured/broken and been long dismissed as part of a menstrual cycle.

Thanks for the backup, Jay! I wasn’t 100% sure that my information was correct.