Sex before Marriage believers?

[Madelayna]

It’s not oppression - it’s logical consistency. If you believe that Jesus Christ is God, and if you believe that He founded the Church as He said, and would teach all truth to the Church so the Church could help us get to heaven, there would be no reason to reject anything the Church teaches. It goes like this:

1. Jesus is God and therefore has power to do whatever He wills.
2. Jesus founded the Church like He said.
3. Jesus promised to give the Church secure knowledge of truth to teach us.
4. Therefore, the Church, founded by God, has secure knowledge of truth which the Church then teaches us.

Please don’t take this the wrong way but based on your faith and belief, do you believe everything the Church teaches is correct no matter what? Isn’t that kind of like blind obedience where we know nothing else so we’re compelled to believe what we are told and ask no questions?

I have no doubts about God and I feel the Church has great logic and reason but what about our personal feelings? Can our own feelings never come under consideration because we’re only to follow what God and others lay before us?

And thank you very much for your reply!

 

[SybilMolly]

I guess we’re not really “free to choose” as Catholics then huh? I didn’t realize how much must be given up.

Thanks for the reply

Well, we are free to choose, God gives us free will. But in the best possible way, you speak of wanting to ‘have it both ways’–obey God’s law and indulge in one sin occasionally. I’m like that all the time, except with truthfulness. And like He said, one cannot serve two masters.

There have been some really insightful responses on here. Though I am not responsible for the, I am glad they made you think anyway. Thank you and God Bless.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

The great thing about sex is that it’s an intimacy shared by two people and helps bond them together. Within marriage, this is wonderful. Outside of marriage, it is problematic.
.

The whole “sex complicates things” is totally true. Most people who lose their virginity before marriage wish they didn’t once they are married.

 

[AuditVocemMeam]

Please don’t take this the wrong way but based on your faith and belief, do you believe everything the Church teaches is correct no matter what? Isn’t that kind of like blind obedience where we know nothing else so we’re compelled to believe what we are told and ask no questions?

Don’t worry, I won’t be insulted. I understand that you have questions. Yes, I do believe everything the Church teaches because I think that is the only possible conclusion, given that I believe those 3 statements. Given these:

1. Jesus is God and therefore has power to do whatever He wills.
2. Jesus founded the Church like He said.
3. Jesus promised to give the Church secure knowledge of truth to teach us.

Can you think of any other conclusion besides “the Church’s teaching is correct”? I can’t. It’s only blind in the same sense that following any other authority is blind, like listening to a scientist about science or listening to a doctor about health (even less so in the Church’s case, really, since she has God backing her up). But we are of course encouraged to delve deeper into why the Church teaches what she does and how it all relates to itself and to philosophy. That’s why we have things like the Catechism as well as the study of theology in general.

I have no doubts about God and I feel the Church has great logic and reason but what about our personal feelings? Can our own feelings never come under consideration because we’re only to follow what God and others lay before us?

And thank you very much for your reply!

Well who is it who is the surest guide to what is good? God is goodness itself! I think it is wonderful that God would extend His hand to us so we wouldn’t have to go through the arduous uncertainty of reasoning through what is good and what isn’t, and would instead give His creatures, out of love, a sure guide to having a right relationship with Him in the Church and the Scriptures. Our feelings change so easily - imagine how difficult it would be to obtain certainty that we are, in doing or not doing a certain action, on the right path to salvation and a life with God if we had to rely on them. And I would much rather have that hope of eternal life than have anything here on Earth!

You are welcome, I’m glad to help or provide any information

 

[Madelayna]

A lot of people these days think that sex is merely an act of instinctive joy and pleasure.
I’ve always thought of sex as something special that is supposed to be shared with your spouse . I’m 46 and still a virgin but I could never see myself having premarital sex first and foremost that the church teaches that in marriage the Holy Spirit joins man and wife in holy union. I’m pretty sure this doesnt happen in premarital sex, and since marriage is a holy sacrament I want my sex to be saved only for my wife. I know that Christ and the church would approve. Now that may not be a popular decision these days , but since when has doing the right thing ever been easy.

If it isn’t in God’s plan for me to get married then I will accept it, and if I never get married then I’m ok with staying a virgin till the day I die.
What does it matter if you gain every pleasure and joy in this world if your going against God in the process.

Believe me at 18 I had the same temptations that every 18 year old had but I also saw how my friends were having casual relationships and always going from one person to the next as if a relationship was nothing special at all.

I hope this can help you look at this from another Perspective.

Yes, thank you very much. Wow you’re really devoted! It’s very admirable

Yeah, I know of a lot of friends who have “slept around” and I think it’s sad and it really downgrades true love and a wholesome relationship.

I hope you do find that one that is for you. You really deserve someone to love you for you and not the things you’d do for the other.

I think I’m starting to understand better now. Waiting for “The One” is why Catholics choose to wait- whether they come or not.

 

[thewanderer]

Here’s the thing. If you have sex in such a relationship then your idea of sex is something lesser than the Church’s idea of it. Let me try to explain. You would probably agree that someone who has casual sex and one night stands views sex as a lesser thing than you do. After all, they are looking at it as merely an act for pleasure whereas you see it as an integral part of a loving relationship. As a way of expressing ones emotions towards another, right? Well, the thing is, that the Church sees it as more than that still. Not only is sex something pleasurable and a way of expressing ones emotions and affection towards the one you love, the act of sex itself is a sign of an unconditional commitment until death. It is a sign and way of expressing not only that you love this person and are attracted to him, but that you love him in so deep a way that no matter what you will remain committed to him, even if the worst happened and at some point in the future it became necessary for you to separate, you would still remain committed to him. Now, this kind of radical commitment is not an idea you will find many places. But this is the kind of commitment the Church requires of couples who marry, and, largely, it is required because of the view the Church takes on sex. Because sex is seen to be such a marvelous thing, a sign of the greatest possible love, an unconditionally committed love, a Christ-like love. Sex can have that kind of deep meaning and beauty for you as well, if you want it to. It can be something even more marvelous than the extraordinary show of love and affection that you already see it as. But it will mean letting go of your current understanding and view of sexuality, and so the sexual aspect of your current relationship.

Now, if you feel as though this ideal of sex is unattainable, this kind of commitment and unconditional love impossible, look to Christ on the cross. And if you are tempted to say “But that was God, us humans aren’t capable of this kind of love” think again. I know that we are capable of it, with Christ’s help, because of watching my mother. My father cheated on her, he abused her emotionally for years, and eventually even physically once or twice. When it became apparent that she needed to leave she took all of us kids and left the country to raise us on her own. But, despite having suffered all of this, she refused to abandon her commitment to him. She did not date anyone, she did not go out and find someone else to love in that way, to fulfill her natural desire for love and intimacy, and she never showed us any bitterness towards him. She simply told us that he had fallen onto a bad path and that we needed to pray for him. Now, she was not perfect, not by any means, we all have our faults, but she took her commitment so seriously that even in the face of years of abuse and the ultimate betrayal she remained true to her commitment, she suffered because of him, but did all she could to forgive him, and to pray for him and wish him well, to offer up her sufferings for his salvation. That is what unconditional commitment looks like. And it truly is possible, with the help of Christ. Now imagine what sex would be between two people when it not only is everything you see it to be, but on top of that is also a sign of the deepest unconditional commitment to love selflessly with the love of Christ. Do you want that kind of relationship? Do you want to be loved in that manner? Then start to view sex as the Church does, as this great thing of unbelievable beauty and sign of an unconditional commitment and seek out men who also see it this way.

 

[josh987654321]

I believe in God and love being a Catholic. But I’m not a virgin and not married. And I don’t really believe in waiting. I think sex is an important part of a relationship- not the most important, granted. But important. And I feel like that should be tried out before marriage. I mean what happens if you don’t know what it’s like sexually with someone and get married and you don’t enjoy it with them? It could lead to divorce. And I’m pretty sure God doesn’t smile about divorce either.

I’m only 18 but I’m trying to create an understanding for myself. I haven’t confirmed, but I want to. But I’m also worried I won’t feel fully Catholic if I don’t believe in EVERYTHING the Catholic Church believes in. I mean shouldn’t I have a choice too? Is there anyone else who feels this way?

And if you’re going to answer in a pro-sex after marriage way, please answer kindly. I will respect all answers as long as they respect my own feelings.

Thanks

It saddens me to read posts like these, because some things, you cannot take back!

The less and less sacred your sexuality becomes, the less and less intimate any marriage or future relationship will be.

Sex is (or should be) reserved for marriage, it’s the sexual act fulfilled in marriage where the union of a man and a woman become so intimately one, when the couple consummates their union. In this way there is no holding back from either the man or the woman and it is the whole intimate self giving of one to the other (in which no other has had a share in if they were both virgins).

The other thing I would ask is, would you like to find out in the future, when you find your Mr Right, that he had slept around with multiple women before he met you? and if no, than why would you do it to him?

Finally as Bruised Reed said -

So, how many men are you going to let try you out sexually?

I think more people would be virgins till marriage if they ask the question you asked, using the words you used. Please think about this and realize you are not something to be “tried out” in such an intimate way.

No one is.

This is one of those things that you cannot take back, but you can reduce the severity of it, as I said, the less and less sacred your sexuality becomes, the less and less intimate any marriage or future relationship will be, as you have already been “tried out” so to speak by someone else, please don’t make it more/worse, think about what you are doing.

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh

 

[Madelayna]

No, I don’t think it’s like dating. At all. And I think a certain kind of emotional intimacy should also be reserved for your spouse, yes. It’s like giving a piece of your heart away. How many pieces are you going to give? When a married couple has sex they become one. The first time consummates the marriage making it indissoluble and subsequent times renew the sacrament and the physical and emotional bond.

Read what underacloud wrote about bonding. It isn’t a good thing to form a strong bond with someone you are not committed to and if you think your are that committed to this guy and he to you, then why not get married now married. Does he really feel the same way?

I really haven’t ever heard of couples who had real trust with one another and physical attraction not enjoy sex with each other. Even if things don’t go like clockwork (bonus points to anyone who recognizes the movie reference) are you against “practicing”?

Sorry, I probably sound completely dumb to you right now but I didn’t get that last bit. “Even if things don’t go like clockwork are you against “practicing”?” Practicing dating?

And yeah I completely agree with underacloud about the bond part. To be honest, I didn’t know about the physical bond that forms until after I lost my virginity. It since has made me more protective of who I share it with.

 

[RedFox0456]

I’m going to speak from my own experience. I once thought that the Church’s teachings on sex were archaic. I mean, we do get fed a lot of evidence to suggest as much.

I had premarital sex in several relationships. They all failed. In fact, the one relationship of my adult life where I didn’t have premarital sex has turned out to be the successful one. I am glad my wife wanted to wait, I really truly am.

None of my relationships failed because of sex. They failed because we had incompatible personalities. Sex only served to make the relationships linger after they should have dispersed. Really, it kept me from actually finding the right person because I was so wrapped up in the physical aspect of relationships. Make no mistake, marriages that succeed do not do so because of sex. If your relationship is based on how good the sex is, you will find they don’t last long after the intimacy starts to fade (and it will).

If anything, sex is a roadblock to a budding relationship. It keeps you focused on the physical and hinders your ability to see the person. Pope John Paul II referred to this way of seeing someone as the “interior gaze.” That’s what real love is. It is going beyond the physical. It is the kind of love a parent has for a child. The kind of love close friends have for each other. And it is the kind of love a husband and a wife should share.

Premarital sex can really damage your ability to get past the physical and into real love. It’s why people keep the same close friends while going through lover after lover. Because you have real love when you allow yourself to get to know the person, and you get a cheap imitation of love when you just stop at the surface.

 

[thewanderer]

Please don’t take this the wrong way but based on your faith and belief, do you believe everything the Church teaches is correct no matter what? Isn’t that kind of like blind obedience where we know nothing else so we’re compelled to believe what we are told and ask no questions?

*I have no doubts about God and I feel the Church has great logic and reason but what about our personal feelings? Can our own feelings never come under consideration because we’re only to follow what God and others lay before us? *

And thank you very much for your reply!

Well, how it works is we must submit to official Church teachings. If we do believe that Christ gave special authority to the Catholic Church such that the gates of Hell will not prevail against it and so that it can be the means of spreading Christ’s Gospel to the nations, then it kind of makes sense to accept all its official teachings as being the Good News Christ came to bring to us. But that doesn’t mean we are supposed to ignore our feelings. If we find ourselves at odds with official Church teaching (note my insistence on “official” there are many things people say as though it is official Church teaching when it is really their opinion of what must follow from Church teaching based on their own reasoning) then it is time to take a step back, re-look at our feelings, try to find out why we are having a hard time accepting this Church teaching, try to better understand the teaching, and, ultimately, keep doing this. Pray about it, spend time before the blessed sacrament, give it time to sink in, be open to Church teaching despite your feelings, and see where that leads you. As long as you are convinced of the authority of the Catholic Church as coming from God, then you should keep this up. You don’t try to ignore or hide your feelings, or pretend they aren’t there, you bring them to Christ, you come to him exactly as you are and submit to Him. And go from there seeking the Truth.

 

[humble_catholic]

Yes, thank you very much. Wow you’re really devoted! It’s very admirable

Yeah, I know of a lot of friends who have “slept around” and I think it’s sad and it really downgrades true love and a wholesome relationship.

I hope you do find that one that is for you. You really deserve someone to love you for you and not the things you’d do for the other.

I think I’m starting to understand better now. Waiting for “The One” is why Catholics choose to wait- whether they come or not.

Your very welcome. Believe me I know how hard it is to wait. You should have seen me when I was 18. I used to say, ok God ill give up 25 years max and anything over that is just too much to handle lol. When I was 25 I would say “ok lord 30 years is my final offer lol”
When I hit 30 it 35 and that’s it’s . When I hit 40 I said ok Lord 40 and not a day more.
It wasnt till I was about 44 that I just gave this totally to The Lord and accepted the cross I would bare. So believe when I say it was at. Decision that came automatically and easily.
It took a spiritual darkness episode that caused me to give all of my trust to God.

I have a friend in Kentucky that’s 29 and a virgin. He’s a very good guy. He always says that if he dies a virgin the first thing he wants to do is hug everyone in heaven. It was the most incredible thing I ever heard from anyone cause he spoke totally from the heart.

Just remember whatever decision you make that God will always love you in a way no one can ever do.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

Sorry, I probably sound completely dumb to you right now but I didn’t get that last bit. “Even if things don’t go like clockwork are you against “practicing”?” Practicing dating?

And yeah I completely agree with underacloud about the bond part. To be honest, I didn’t know about the physical bond that forms until after I lost my virginity. It since has made me more protective of who I share it with.

I was afraid that wasn’t clear. I meant having sex. Lots of practicing = lots of sex. That does not sound like a bad thing for newlyweds.

I just wonder why so many are concerned with chemistry in bed. If so many unmarrieds are having bad sex and therefore think that they need to try things out before marriage, I blame pornography and masturbation. People need to knock that off, too.

Clockwork comes from “Sleepless in Seattle.” A characters mom confided that it took a while for things in the bedroom to work like “clockwork.”

 

[josh987654321]

.

Id also like to make you aware, that pre-marital sex substantially increases your chances of divorce.

focusonthefamily.com/about_us/focus-findings/marriage/premarital-sex-and-divorce.aspx

Premarital Sex and Greater Risk of Divorce

Are there practical consequences of pre-marital sex for future marital happiness?

**Glenn T. Stanton **

This is a question many young people ponder. Even if you grow up with a faith or belief system that teaches sex before marriage is wrong, many wonder what real, practical difference engaging in unmarried sex might have beyond the risk of unmarried pregnancy or contracting an infection.

Well, here’s one: New data emerging consistently for decades show that premarital sexual activity seems to be associated with a significant elevated risk of divorce. And, as nearly all people enter marriage desiring it last, this is not a small consideration for teens and young adults.

Let’s look at the handful of leading population-based studies exploring this question and what they find.

**Kahn and London, 1991 **

Data from the National Survey of Family Growth indicate that “women who are sexually active prior to marriage faced considerably higher risk of marital disruption than women who were virgin brides.” These scholars explain that even when controlling for various differentials between virginal and non-virginal groups – such as socio-economics, family background as well as attitudinal and value differences – “non-virgins still face a much higher risk of divorce than virgins.” 1

**Laumann, Gagnon, Michael and Michaels, 1994 **

The massive and highly respected National Health and Social Life Survey, conducted at the University of Chicago, was the first serious, fully reputable study of sexual behavior in America. It found a marked connection between premarital sex and elevated risk of divorce. The authors explain:

“For both genders, we find that virgins have dramatically more stable first marriages…” 2

“The finding confirms the results reported by Kahn and London…those who are virgins at marriage have much lower rates of separation and divorce.” 3

Additionally, “Those who marry as non-virgins are also more likely – all other things being equal – to be unfaithful over the remainder of their life compared with those spouses who do marry as virgins.” 4

This higher prevalence of marital infidelity among the non-virginal is assumed to be an important factor in their higher likelihood of divorce, while “those who are virgins at marriage are those who go to greater lengths to avoid divorce.” 5 Essentially, non-virgins typically appear to do more to harm their marriages and virgins do more to strengthen them.

**Heaton, 2002 **

In a study looking at factors impacting increased marital stability, Brigham Young sociologist Tim Heaton examined how premarital sexual experience, premarital child-bearing, cohabitation and marrying someone of a different religious faith were all associated with greater risk of divorce. Heaton explains, “Dissolution rates are substantially higher among those who initiate sexual activity before marriage.” Heaton asserts that divorce is more likely among the sexually active and cohabitors because they have established their life together on “relatively unstable sexual relationships.” 6

**Teachman, 2003 **

Sociologist Jay Teachman examined how both premarital sex and cohabitation impacts risk of divorce among women. He found that “*t remains the case, however, that women with more than one intimate relationship prior to marriage have an elevated risk of marital disruption.” 7

**Paik, 2011 ***

This newest study looks specifically at first sexual experience in adolescence and was conducted by Professor Anthony Paik at the University of Iowa. He explains that his “research shows that adolescent sexuality/premarital sex is associated with marital dissolution” and that a significant factor is whether the sexual experience in later adolescence was welcomed by the girl. He explains, “Adolescent sexual debut that is not completely wanted is both directly and indirectly linked to marital dissolution” which are the overwhelming majority of adolescent sexual experiences for girls.8 Seldom do they report not being pressured or forced into sex.

Paik also found that females who first had sex in their teens had roughly double the risk of divorce later in life compared to women who had their first unmarried sexual experience in their adult years.

He found that teen girls who experienced their first sexual experience with a young man who would eventually be her husband did not have particularly elevated risk of divorce. However, very few of girls who lose their virginity in their teens end up having only had sex with their husband. The overwhelming majority of non-virginal adolescent girls – nearly all – end up having had sex with multiple partners before marriage, thus increasing their later risk for divorce. 9

**Conclusion **

Science is now showing us what our grandmothers and pastors knew all along. Having sex with someone who is not our spouse can have a real, measurable and harmful impact upon later relationships.

When we give ourselves away – and sex is a full giving of ourselves away physically, emotionally, spiritually – to someone outside the commitment and protection of marriage, it breaks down an important part of us, making our future relationships more unhealthy and difficult to sustain.

Young adults have a right to know about this sort of empirical information because of its very real potential impact on their later, most-important relationships.

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh

 

[Madelayna]

Your very welcome. Believe me I know how hard it is to wait. You should have seen me when I was 18. I used to say, ok God ill give up 25 years max and anything over that is just too much to handle lol. When I was 25 I would say “ok lord 30 years is my final offer lol”
When I hit 30 it 35 and that’s it’s . When I hit 40 I said ok Lord 40 and not a day more.
It wasnt till I was about 44 that I just gave this totally to The Lord and accepted the cross I would bare. So believe when I say it was at. Decision that came automatically and easily.
It took a spiritual darkness episode that caused me to give all of my trust to God.

Haha that’s so funny but still there was commitment there. And endurance. It’s definitely something to strive for. And that’s so great about your friend. When I read that, I was really touched.

Just remember whatever decision you make that God will always love you in a way no one can ever do.

I hope so

 

[altms]

Sex is a very sacred act my sister. Remember that this is an act that makes a new human life. Sure, there is the pleasurable side to it, but always remember that it is an act that brings together a couple joined by God. This is something that most of us tend to overlook. Before thinking of the pleasures that come with sex, think about the significance of the act itself

Saving sex before marriage saves you a lot of headache. No risk of STDs, you’re constantly not thinking of getting pregnant. And so on.

Stop paying attention to these worldly matters and follow God’s law before others…Don’t give in to peer pressure or pay attention to these series and whatnot. If you truly love being a Catholic, then you’ll adhere to all the church’s teachings.

 

[Madelayna]

I was afraid that wasn’t clear. I meant having sex. Lots of practicing = lots of sex. That does not sound like a bad thing for newlyweds.

I just wonder why so many are concerned with chemistry in bed. If so many unmarrieds are having bad sex and therefore think that they need to try things out before marriage, I blame pornography and masturbation. People need to knock that off, too.

Clockwork comes from “Sleepless in Seattle.” A characters mom confided that it took a while for things in the bedroom to work like “clockwork.”

Okay I understand you now, yeah that’s true.

I think it’s because people are concerned that if one part of the relationship isn’t satisfactory, or the way they hope, it’ll lead to a bad marriage and divorce. I mean everyone is programmed to enjoy sex (anatomically speaking) but that doesn’t mean you’d have the best sex with one person- meaning your spouse. Imagine it: your emotionally connected and you really love each other and being with each other but you aren’t as connected physically. Not to say that the physical part is most important (obviously it’s not) but it is a part of the relationship you pretty much have to accept whether you like it or not. Which brings you back to the whole point of love and marriage and sex to produce children. What I’m saying is, you don’t know what sex would be like between you two and if it doesn’t come out as you expected, you could lose interest in the relationship despite how much love there might be. We all crave physical connection, virgin or not, and if we don’t get it then it can lead to a void in your heart and even loneliness. I suppose this is why some feel the need to “try each other out” to check the “physical connection/satisfaction” off the list. -Just a thought.

I haven’t seen that movie but it’s probably true. You have to practice until you get it right haha.

 

[Flash46196]

Big believer, but it complicates things. . . makes em real messy, and its much harder to break up once your having sex. You are more likely to stay together way past when you should if your having sex. It does not make or save a relationship.

But…

It can be safe, its fun, its bonding, it feels great, and its free (money wise) edit, forgot its also a good workout

as well i know my only beef after reading JPII L&R and Theology of the Body was that it viewed sex outside of marriage, or even for pleasure as “taking” from you partner. This is common I think when people first start having sex (me as a teenage boy), but personally as someone who used to pride them selves as a good lover (before I started dating a catholic girl) I view sex as a gift I give to my partner. Sex for your own pleasure is for immature people, a mature lover has sex because they want to make their partner feel fantastic and get their most joy from their partners pleasure, not their own. I only think you get that way after having a lot of it, and really I think that more then one person is totally ok, and gives perspective and world view.

As for me, I just had enough with enough partners, that I was ready to settle down so I dont mind waiting *as much * with my catholic GF.

I also think that you can have a physical connection with a person in your past and not get all bent out of shape about it. I still talk to a few women that I had slept with in my past, they are great women and I think very highly of them, and we dont hate eachother. One is even a friend, and we sometimes laugh that we ever had sex in the past.

I do caution you tho, it really complicates things, and will create more problems then it solves.

 

[sw85]

I believe in God and love being a Catholic. But I’m not a virgin and not married. And I don’t really believe in waiting. I think sex is an important part of a relationship- not the most important, granted. But important. And I feel like that should be tried out before marriage. I mean what happens if you don’t know what it’s like sexually with someone and get married and you don’t enjoy it with them? It could lead to divorce. And I’m pretty sure God doesn’t smile about divorce either.

I’m only 18 but I’m trying to create an understanding for myself. I haven’t confirmed, but I want to. But I’m also worried I won’t feel fully Catholic if I don’t believe in EVERYTHING the Catholic Church believes in. I mean shouldn’t I have a choice too? Is there anyone else who feels this way?

And if you’re going to answer in a pro-sex after marriage way, please answer kindly. I will respect all answers as long as they respect my own feelings.

Thanks

You spend an awful lot of time here talking about your feelings and your opinions. Has it ever occurred to you that Catholicism doesn’t owe you the validation of your feelings and your opinions?

 

[Lasting_faith]

You know what The Church teach us. Based on that you know what is wrong, what is right, and the rest is up to you. Sometimes I wonder if we know, for sure, what is right what is wrong. All I can say is that as far as I remember sex was great and I miss it, I really do. Most of all I miss being close to a woman. Sex is not all, a big part yes, but the best thing I had was just being close to someone I did love very much and never did marry. I can’t judge nor tell you what is OK and what isn’t, and I am happy I can’t.

 

[Madelayna]

You spend an awful lot of time here talking about your feelings and your opinions. Has it ever occurred to you that Catholicism doesn’t owe you the validation of your feelings and your opinions?

Ouch. No, I don’t believe Catholicism owes me validation of my feelings. I do however believe it owes me the validation of being human. I am not a robot to be fed information and expected to act accordingly. I am human with feelings and thoughts and I have the right to profess them. If I didn’t, or if anyone didn’t, then we wouldn’t seek knowledge and understanding. We would not learn. I am here to learn. I am here to understand. I want to hear other perspectives from Catholics willing to teach me and give me some of their wisdom.

Everyone who has responded to me, you included, I think of as kind offerers of knowledge and personal opinion. I try to take away as much as I can from each reply because each reply shapes my perspective and changes my feelings. I have an opinion, just as anyone else here. But I want it to become more of a Catholic opinion. And so though I don’t think Catholicism owes me validation of my feelings, I feel it does owe me a chance to ask questions in order to further my understanding and love of the religion.

Thank you for your reply. I appreciate it.