Sex before marriage

[TheRealJuliane]

Thanks for all your prayers! She got her period this morning But when i said “mental breakdowns”, they came after we had sex, mainly because she was paranoid about if she was pregnant.

I hope that you will go to confession and from now on, remain chaste until you marry. You have “dodged a bullet,” so to speak, but the effects from your sin remain. Don’t beat yourself up, but do recognize that you made a terrible mistake.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

After reading Juliane’s extremely sincere and profoundly moving message, I can say with confidence that while not everybody who has pre-marital sex ends up at an abortion clinic or with a serious life-changing diagnosis, the paths that these people are heading down all lead to the same place.

Some of these paths go over hills and valleys, some of them are on a slow and steady decline. If followed to the end, though, these paths will all lead their travellers to the gates of hell.

My conversion came from an experience where God told me that if I didn’t stop having pre-marital sex, I would not be going to heaven. For a month and a half I got to experience a fire (what some may call an anxiety) in my chest that was so harsh that it kept me awake at night and unable to do work during the day. This fire burned from within and it didn’t consume the fuel from which it burned. There was no relief, but for me, fortunately, there was hope. Eventually my anxiety and torments caused the relationship I was in to collapse and I finally decided to renounce the sin of pre-marital sex permanently and give myself to God with complete abandon. That burning instantly turned into a joy so great that I can’t describe it as anything other then a miraculous experience of what heaven may some day feel like.

Heaven and hell are both real, my friend… I know this with 100% certainty. I plead you not to make light of the dangers of mortal sin. Your own soul and the souls of those whom you influence could be in grave danger.

Well stated. In Training seems to think that you and I are the exceptions and not the rule. I haven’t got that much pride…I know that when I look around, the destruction I see has been wrought by the moral failure of our generations. “Some people can handle it.” I guess that’s somewhat like saying some people can handle a live grenade…or have a tiger for a pet. Sooner or later, it’s gonna blow up on you. I think some people may not even realize what they have lost. If I hadn’t reverted, I may never have had that realization.

My realization came one day when my husband and I were having problems in our relationship (worse than usual). I acknowledged to myself that he really doesn’t respect me, and one of the main reasons is that when we met, I didn’t respect MYSELF enough to keep myself chaste. That kind of respect was never part of our relationship, since we started having sex probably 2 weeks after we met, with no commitment whatsoever. There is no way to go back and re-create that self-respect or create his respect now; that opportunity was forever lost. I can’t recount how deeply that realization hurt me. And it’s not as though my husband even comprehends that he doesn’t respect me on that level. He didn’t revert and doesn’t regret his own sexual past, nor the one we shared before we married. But I know that we are both affected by that past.

I will never know what it is like to have “holy sexual relations.” Part of that is my individual circumstance, being married to a man who is not Catholic in his heart. But much of it is that I gave my most intimate gift away long before I met him, and all of my previous experience (as well as his) does defile the marriage bed.

Well, that’s enough for now. I suppose those who justify having pre-marital sex have not realized the true cost yet. When they do, God’s mercy is there, but the temporal effects do not go away. I long for Purgatory.

 

[Faith0]

I can’t give you much advice since I myself waited till marriage, but that doesn’t give me the right to judge neither those other guys who didn’t give you a chance to get to know you better before making it a first and last date with you. All I can say is that not because you’ve had pre-marital sex means that you are “damaged goods” and that you don’t deserve anything better because you do. God wants you to. You can always turn around by going to confession and wait till marriage to have sex. You will find a good man who will be a great match for you. You just need to look deep into their hearts and into their minds to understand what is going on and connect with him. I totally recommend videos and books by Jason Evert and his wife Crystalina Evert…They are chastity speakers…He waited till marriage and she did not…Here is one of the videos so in case you don’t know who they are and so you can get an idea as to what they are all about…

youtube.com/watch?v=UOKlBs9Tdjc

God Bless!

 

[Faith0]

Well stated. In Training seems to think that you and I are the exceptions and not the rule. I haven’t got that much pride…I know that when I look around, the destruction I see has been wrought by the moral failure of our generations. “Some people can handle it.” I guess that’s somewhat like saying some people can handle a live grenade…or have a tiger for a pet. Sooner or later, it’s gonna blow up on you. I think some people may not even realize what they have lost. If I hadn’t reverted, I may never have had that realization.

My realization came one day when my husband and I were having problems in our relationship (worse than usual). I acknowledged to myself that he really doesn’t respect me, and one of the main reasons is that when we met, I didn’t respect MYSELF enough to keep myself chaste. That kind of respect was never part of our relationship, since we started having sex probably 2 weeks after we met, with no commitment whatsoever. There is no way to go back and re-create that self-respect or create his respect now; that opportunity was forever lost. I can’t recount how deeply that realization hurt me. And it’s not as though my husband even comprehends that he doesn’t respect me on that level. He didn’t revert and doesn’t regret his own sexual past, nor the one we shared before we married. But I know that we are both affected by that past.

I will never know what it is like to have “holy sexual relations.” Part of that is my individual circumstance, being married to a man who is not Catholic in his heart. But much of it is that I gave my most intimate gift away long before I met him, and all of my previous experience (as well as his) does defile the marriage bed.

Well, that’s enough for now. I suppose those who justify having pre-marital sex have not realized the true cost yet. When they do, God’s mercy is there, but the temporal effects do not go away. I long for Purgatory.

AMEN! People like you I consider TRUE practicing Catholics with a great heart and a great mind. People who can admit and share what their lives have been are truly angels of God for humanity. No one can truly say how good or bad it can be to have pre-marital sex other than people who have experienced it and like to share their 2 cents on how it doesn’t make a relationship better. Thanks be to God that you’ve accepted (because most don’t accept their wrong doings) and for sharing your experiences. Your testimonies can help in making this world a better one. Like the priest at my parish says “The sacrament of confession, no matter what, always makes everyone walk out of it as SAINTS…” Going to confession is crucial and cleanses our souls. No matter what the sin is, God forgives so long as we practice this sacrament

 

[In_Training]

“I’ll never think an abortion is a result of sex.”

Hmmm…Just how do you think the baby was created in the first place???

I was saying that sex doesn’t create abortion. You can have an unplanned pregnancy and be open to life, but if you have an abortion you are choosing to not be open to life. This is what I find fault with - the act of being not open to life. I don’t know, maybe that sounds crazy.

Did you actually tell a young lady that you know Justin Bieber in order to coax her into having sex? Really?

What? Who said that?

She hit me…left a mark…my mom kept asking how I got it…the priest at my church figured it out without even asking me… Yeah, I don’t do that anymore. :blackeye: But that was more because I lied, so again, two separate issues. I realize that pride gets in my way. Entering the seminary will take a while. :juggle:

Heaven and hell are both real, my friend… I know this with 100% certainty. I plead you not to make light of the dangers of mortal sin. Your own soul and the souls of those whom you influence could be in grave danger.

Apparently everybody thinks I tell people to do bad things. My mom thinks I’m possessed, and I don’t even really do anything wrong. I guess that’s why I think sometimes people interpret religion as exaggerations. My problem is I’m too much of a renegade. I don’t take orders, I don’t do what I’m told unless it makes sense. But…maybe some things I don’t have to understand. That’s what faith is. Strangely, my focus in accepting God has never been on getting into heaven; it’s always been on trying to do what I’m told, regardless of where I’m headed.

Like the priest at my parish says “The sacrament of confession, no matter what, always makes everyone walk out of it as SAINTS…”

…does that go for everyone?

 

[LINVS]

You have to stop fornicating; even if it means you’ll end up an old maid (which you certainly won’t, if that’s God’s will.)