Sex drive question

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Jade_Tiger

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Hello all, and thanks in advance,
I am aware that this is a delicate subject, and so I will try to express this delicately.
I am a frequent “lurker” on this site, and I see many, many threads where young men ask advice about remaining pure. Also, most of the usually excellent sites that people here link to are packed with advice for young men: how to guard the eyes, imitate St. Joseph, etc. All very well and good.
However: In the main, this applies only to boys. The advice given to young women here and there mostly consists of “Dress modestly, and don’t tempt the boys.”
Am I truly the only one who finds this odd?
Many of the things that these people say “Just walking down the street without impure thoughts is difficult for men; nealy all women tempt men (with their looks) if they are not careful, etc” applies perfectly well to me, except that I am a straight woman.
A serious question: Is this normal? Do most women actually have a far lower sex drive than I do, or is this an extremely neglected problem? Ether way, I should like to know if anybody has resources about this.
Note: I am NOT referring to the common threads that other young women post, asking advice about staying pure in a relationship. I (along with many others) am not in a relationship. I am genuinely slightly worried by what seems to be my streotypically masculine temptations.
Does anybody else here struggle with this problem?
 
No, you are not alone. I have always had a very high sex drive, too. The ancients believed the woman was the lustier sex, and should be married young and kept happy by her husband in order to encourage female chastity. It is very weird and upsetting to me that in our modern world, women are assumed to not really be all that interested in sex. My only explanation is that the widespread use of hormonal contraceptives, which are notorious for suppressing libido and leading women to choose sexual partners they would not choose if they were fertile, has led to a complete misunderstanding of female sexuality. That, and the puritanical attitude that good girls don’t enjoy sex.
It is completely ridiculous. I feel like society just pats women on the head, says how lucky we are to not have such a strong sex drive, and then sends us on our (un)merry way. It is patronizing and blatantly false and is contrary to everything our ancestors correctly understood about the feminine sex drive.
 
At 25 more unmarried men are virgins than unmarried women. I’m guessing the common perception is wrong.
 
I don’t have any such misconceptions…Young women are very aggressively sexual these days, as I know through my two sons. Very common for young men to be pursued in a role reversal of how things used to be…Not saying it was right for men to sexually pursue women either.

A lot of people are finding out the same thing through experience with their own sons and daughters.
 
I have that problem, though now that I’m married it’s not such a problem. I also have a theory about where the misconception comes from. The pill. What does the pill do to women? It makes you fat and bitchy and kills your sex drive. So the stereotype is that women are bitchy and have no sex drive.
 
I am a woman and I have a very strong sex drive. Actually I know plenty of women with a strong sex drive. I am married and I know that my sex drive is stronger than my husbands. He always jokes around that I have the sex drive of a 15 year old boy. There is a great misconception that women are far less sexual than men. I have bisexual attraction and I had to deal with being in a hot climate and how people dress. I certainly didn’t use the cop-out of blaming other people’s dress for my problems and I believe in taking full responsibility for your struggles and sins.It was always frustrating growing up when people would tell me that struggling with a strong sex drive, lust, or anything sexual was a “man’s struggle” and that I was abnormal for struggling with it. You are not alone.
 
Mine is higher than my DH’s. However, I think men may be visually more tempted by women- which would be harder to avoid in the “real world” than if a trigger is the written word, etc.
 
I have an extremely high sex drive, and like you I’m always shocked and offended to hear that women just aren’t in to sex. Even my very modern, educated, liberal fiance was surprised to find out that sex wasn’t just something women did to make men happy. He really thought that we just don’t want or enjoy it as much.
 
You’re most definitely not alone, OP. Lust is by far my greatest temptation, and my greatest struggle. I agree with BlueEyedLady - it’s a bit offensive to me as well to hear this assumption all the time, although to be fair you can’t really blame the men - women just will not be as outspoken about it.
 
I believe that men have a higher sex drive than woman. That’s not to say women don’t have a sex drive, or are inferior in any way. It’s just nature. The male having a higher sex drive than the female, and being stronger than the female, is more favorable to the survival of the species (note: it’s not true with all species, though it seems to be true with the more advanced species).

Without being graphic, males also have a substance to release, whereas females do not. That can create actual pressure in the male’s sex organs, which creates a heightened desire to have sex.
 
ValPal said:
I believe that men have a higher sex drive than woman. That’s not to say women don’t have a sex drive, or are inferior in any way. It’s just nature. The male having a higher sex drive than the female, and being stronger than the female, is more favorable to the survival of the species (note: it’s not true with all species, though it seems to be true with the more advanced species).

Without being graphic, males also have a substance to release, whereas females do not. That can create actual pressure in the male’s sex organs, which creates a heightened desire to have sex.
Click to expand...
May I ask, are you a man?

When you say “it’s just nature”, on what do you base this?
 
lerapt78 said:
May I ask, are you a man?
Click to expand...
Yes
When you say “it’s just nature”, on what do you base this?
Click to expand...
Nature, of course. 🙂

I also base it on several long terms relationships (I’ve been married twice, with two extraordinarily different woman), and discussions with couples that are close to us. Another related issue is that once woman hit the premenopausal stage, their sex drive seems to drop significantly…at least with every couple we’ve met.
 
Jade_Tiger said:
Hello all, and thanks in advance,
I am aware that this is a delicate subject, and so I will try to express this delicately.
I am a frequent “lurker” on this site, and I see many, many threads where young men ask advice about remaining pure. Also, most of the usually excellent sites that people here link to are packed with advice for young men: how to guard the eyes, imitate St. Joseph, etc. All very well and good.
However: In the main, this applies only to boys. The advice given to young women here and there mostly consists of “Dress modestly, and don’t tempt the boys.”
Am I truly the only one who finds this odd?
Many of the things that these people say “Just walking down the street without impure thoughts is difficult for men; nealy all women tempt men (with their looks) if they are not careful, etc” applies perfectly well to me, except that I am a straight woman.
A serious question: Is this normal? Do most women actually have a far lower sex drive than I do, or is this an extremely neglected problem? Ether way, I should like to know if anybody has resources about this.
Note: I am NOT referring to the common threads that other young women post, asking advice about staying pure in a relationship. I (along with many others) am not in a relationship. I am genuinely slightly worried by what seems to be my streotypically masculine temptations.
Does anybody else here struggle with this problem?
Click to expand...
LOL! No you are NOT alone! 👍 I’ve often wondered that too about why society seems to think women have a much lower sex drive than men when I know with myself that is not true. I was like is it just me? 😉
 
Eisenberg, M. L., Shindel, A. W., Smith, J. F., Lue, T. F. and Walsh, T. J. (2009), Who is the 40-Year-Old Virgin and Where Did He/She Come From? Data from the National Survey of Family Growth. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 6: 2154–2161. doi: 10.1111/j.1743-6109.2009.01327.x

Oh, and:

bit.ly/QtIMFM
 
mommamaree said:
No, you are not alone. I have always had a very high sex drive, too. The ancients believed the woman was the lustier sex, and should be married young and kept happy by her husband in order to encourage female chastity. It is very weird and upsetting to me that in our modern world, women are assumed to not really be all that interested in sex. **My only explanation is that the widespread use of hormonal contraceptives, which are notorious for suppressing libido and leading women to choose sexual partners they would not choose if they were fertile, has led to a complete misunderstanding of female sexuality. That, and the puritanical attitude that good girls don’t enjoy sex. **
It is completely ridiculous. I feel like society just pats women on the head, says how lucky we are to not have such a strong sex drive, and then sends us on our (un)merry way. It is patronizing and blatantly false and is contrary to everything our ancestors correctly understood about the feminine sex drive.
Click to expand...
Yes, I’ve read that about birth control too.
lerapt78 said:
May I ask, are you a man?

When you say “it’s just nature”, on what do you base this?
Click to expand...
I knew he had to be a man. 😃
 
👍
TheRealJuliane said:
I don’t have any such misconceptions…Young women are very aggressively sexual these days, as I know through my two sons. Very common for young men to be pursued in a role reversal of how things used to be…Not saying it was right for men to sexually pursue women either.

A lot of people are finding out the same thing through experience with their own sons and daughters.
Click to expand...
 
BlueEyedLady said:
I have an extremely high sex drive, and like you I’m always shocked and offended to hear that women just aren’t in to sex. Even my very modern, educated, liberal fiance was surprised to find out that sex wasn’t just something women did to make men happy. He really thought that we just don’t want or enjoy it as much.
Click to expand...
Hello BlueEyedLady,
Are you Atheist? Your profile shows it and I am very new to this board so I don’t know alot. Since you are a fiance you are not having sex, right?
Your Sister
 
ValPal said:
Cite a source to the contrary 🙂

It can be googled. All sources say the same thing. There are some countries where this is not true, but in general it is.
Click to expand...
Then wouldn’t that actually be a sign of the opposite of what you are claiming?
 
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