There are many possible scientific reasons for this. One could be that you have low testosterone. Low testosterone equals low sex drive in men, period. It could also be you had an experience in your life that turned you off to sex. It really doesn’t do well to speculate, only to simply get tested and find out. You can go to the doctor and get your testosterone levels tested, and if they are fine they will do other tests. If everything checks out okay than you can even go to a good Catholic shrink if you suspect the past experience theory possibly holds some water.
It’s not ridiculous, mommamaree. To speak in generalizations is to speak about things like racism and sexism or discrimination based upon sexual orientation. Generalizations are not necessarily bad or it would be difficult to analyze a society based upon the things I just mentioned.
American teenage girls also - supposedly - statistically have more sex partners than teenage boys today.
What is to be logically - followed - concluded from this with respects to male promiscuity? That males are in general more immoral than females.
I was thinking about it yesterday and remembered that the weightlifting I do increases testosterone levels. In my daily life there aren’t any sexual “triggers” so maybe thats it. Could a complete lack of discussion of sex when I was younger cause a lack of interest? Thats the only life experience thing I could think of. Do I have a moral obligation to fix this?
Thats why I think girls don’t respect guys who save sex for marriage. There’s sort of a subconcious thought that the male isn’t good enough. When she knows other females are interested that triggers her own interest. It’s true with the Catholic girls I know. They basically have to respect for Catholic guys saving sex for marriage.
Which is really only indicative of the Catholic girls you know so don’t paint us all wih one brush. I happen to know plenty of Catholic girls who are interested in virgins and for whom the idea of having already had sex would not make a partner more desirable, it’s rather insulting for you to make such a broad generalization from just your person experience.
I distinctly recall as a young boy and later as an older teenager wishing I were more sinful so I could attracted more females (by more I mean 2 or 3 as opposed to 1 or 0). As a rule of thumb I think you’ll find the female sex is fickle and attracted to sin in males.
No, there is no moral obligation to fix this. However, if you ever meet a girl you wish to marry you will need to bring this up beforehand to find out whether or not it is something she is willing to live with.
Another poster has already addressed the generalizations here, but there is a kernel of truth. It’s not just applicable to Catholic girls only. It’s for women in general. Yes, a man who clearly demonstrates a high value will be seen as more desirable. And one way women view a man as desirable is by examining whether OTHER women see him as desirable. That’s just common sense.
At worst they’re interested in them, but they don’t respect them more than a guy who has lots of sex before marriage. So as TimeEntrance said you have more to gain than to lose in terms of attracting girls. I know its just my personal experience and all, but I can’t imagine the Catholic girls in my area (which is pretty conservative) are much different than other areas. But is subconcious still. Girls say they want a “nice guy” for example, but they usually date guys who are the opposite (which are hopeless for raising a family). I won’t be sleeping around before marriage and Ive accepted the fact that it will hurt my chances at attracting someone. It won’t make a guy more desirable, but it won’t make him less desirable either. If a girl will date a guy she respects then myself and my male friends at church are second rate compared to the secular guys.
Right. If only the many Catholic girls I know could override their subconsciouses. I think thats why Catholic guys who don’t sleep around before marriage take so long to get married. Waiting. My older brother fell away from the Church and later came back and a nice Catholic girl married him. Those kinds of girls just overlook me even though I have a few advantages over my brother and the fact that I’ve had a very strong spiritual/faith life. I know it’s not good to generalize, but it seems in my diocese, sex life means more than faith life. If I get married I’ll be the first exception to that rule I’ve heard of (and I’ve heard of lots).
Okay, thanks for the answer. If I ever have an opportunity to bring it up I’ll bring it up.
Not to be overly presumptuous, but I’m going to doubt that your faith is a hurdle. It’s probably social skills. And I say that as a guy who was deathly afraid of women until, for some reason, I was able to overcome it with my wife. I had a couple of girlfriends before her but nothing terribly serious and nothing frequent either. One in sophomore year of HS and one in my senior year. Nothing in college until my wife and that was summer between junior and senior year.
So you think you deserve more than your brother simply because he fell into sin? Why does he deserve any less of a good woman than you? Everyone including those that live the most sinful live’s deserve a good man or woman. It seem’s to me your more frustrated at trying to live in line with the Church’s teaching’s and not finding the right woman that you almost see Catholic morality as a hindrance, i can assure you there is a reason he came back to the Church and i’d say he regret’s ever falling away. As for finding the right woman, don’t just look for practicing Catholic’s, be more confident and sociable with all women as since secularist’s are higher in number in society you are more likely to find a good secularist who is compatible with you. Tell me this though, would you want to actually be with a woman who place’s more value on a man based on his sexual experience with women, would you truly be happy with them?
Perhaps TimeEntrance should clarify a bit what he meant (speaking in the 3rd person) by wishing he were more sinful (when I was a kid and teen). and no… I don’t wish to raise 1 or 2 or 3 of their kids fathered by 1 or more men because their infallible logic turned out fallible.Ah, we find ourselves debating on this subject again!What is to be logically - followed - concluded from this with respects to male promiscuity? That males are in general more immoral than females.
To answer your question, no, the conclusion to the sentence wasn’t to say that men are more immoral than women. I don’t believe that at all. When I said “Maybe they’re both the same” I was referring to the intesity of the sexual drives of men and women. Not that the drives are equally expressed ( because they are expressed in different ways), but that they are equally strong in both a feminine and masculine way, respectively. That is all I meant.But this is a pretty simple example of the cultural influence which many posters (including myself) addressed on this thread. The reason many men will engage in one-night stands with a less than stellar specimen of womanhood is obvious - something is better than nothing. If a culture demands celibacy of women only, then this will naturally produce a shortage of women who will engage in indiscriminate sex, because they don’t want to be negatively labeled. I suggest this shortage is because of cultural boundaries, and not lower sex drive. I hear a lot of young guys complain about it, and I tend to roll my eyes a bit; when derogatory names are thrown around at promiscuous women (and they still are, despite sexual liberation), it really shouldn’t be too surprising that fewer women will be as willing as men to indulge in their base desires for fear of criticism. I mean, those guys can’t really complain about a problem they’ve created, can they? (all of this referring of course to those who do not respect sexual morality and are simply looking to fornicate)
)Ah, but women can have multiple orgasms within a shorter time period.
And considering that erections are the outward manifestation of male desire, one would almost expect to see them left and right in public, especially with so much female titillation on display. (don’t mean to be crude, but it *does *kind of beg the question: if the male drive is so rampant, why do men remain in a flaccid state more often than not? Shouldn’t they be “ready to go” every time a woman passes by?)As an additive to my prior explanation above regarding discrimination, a strange man equals a potential physical threat in the eyes of most women. Therefore, desire and attraction aside, most women are not going to put themselves in a vulnerable position with a man they don’t know. This is intellect and reason overriding desire. Men don’t have this reciprocal physical fear of women, so there’s no conscious impediment to their drive. This is why alcohol adds a dangerous mix to a woman’s attraction towards men she doesn’t know well - it lowers her inhibitions and makes her more likely to act out on her physical desire when her brain would normally tell her to take a step back.
All good points you made!Ah, we find ourselves debating on this subject again!
But this is a pretty simple example of the cultural influence which many posters (including myself) addressed on this thread. The reason many men will engage in one-night stands with a less than stellar specimen of womanhood is obvious - something is better than nothing. If a culture demands celibacy of women only, then this will naturally produce a shortage of women who will engage in indiscriminate sex, because they don’t want to be negatively labeled. I suggest this shortage is because of cultural boundaries, and not lower sex drive. I hear a lot of young guys complain about it, and I tend to roll my eyes a bit; when derogatory names are thrown around at promiscuous women (and they still are, despite sexual liberation), it really shouldn’t be too surprising that fewer women will be as willing as men to indulge in their base desires for fear of criticism. I mean, those guys can’t really complain about a problem they’ve created, can they? (all of this referring of course to those who do not respect sexual morality and are simply looking to fornicate)
Women are pickier because they can afford to be pickier. Culture has created a large pool of men allowed to prowl to their hearts’ content, while constraining the drives of women through shaming and labeling. Sure, things are slightly more balanced today, but a double standard still remains despite a rise in degeneracy. This is not an accusation of all men, but I’d wager even most of the good Catholic men on this board have heard male acquaintances use derogatory words towards “loose” women, even if they haven’t used the words themselves. It is those hypocritical types of men who have helped perpetuate this dichotomy they themselves complain about when women who have more men from which to choose pass them over.
On the other hand, we can also observe how men are picky, when they can afford to be so. Look at any wealthy or extraordinarily good-looking man: is his testosterone so potent that he cannot help but mate with any woman who crosses his path? Not at all! In fact we can see just how selective and discriminate he becomes when we observe how readily he will pass over the “strange, obese, and blubbering” women because he is certain there’s a more physically desireable one right around the corner who will be attracted to his wealth and/or looks. (I don’t think he’ll pass over the pretty-but-dumb ones, though - the “dumb” ones are almost sure to stroke his ego
Ah, but women can have multiple orgasms within a shorter time period.
As an additive to my prior explanation above regarding discrimination, a strange man equals a potential physical threat in the eyes of most women. Therefore, desire and attraction aside, most women are not going to put themselves in a vulnerable position with a man they don’t know. This is intellect and reason overriding desire. Men don’t have this reciprocal physical fear of women, so there’s no conscious impediment to their drive. This is why alcohol adds a dangerous mix to a woman’s attraction towards men she doesn’t know well - it lowers her inhibitions and makes her more likely to act out on her physical desire when her brain would normally tell her to take a step back.
BTW, that’s a very nice picture you posted!
I think the desire is equally strong in both men and women too. That is true about the multiple orgasms and also very true about it being more dangerous for women to hook up with strange men in a bar, and about the cultural put down towards women who are promiscuous compared to men who do the same. Good post, all good points! I understood that. But the implications seem to be - assuming that were true - that women stoically place value in so many other non-physical things whilst battling the same level of sexual urges and frequencies as males.
I don’t think culture has anything to do with the effects of the male hormone testosterone on male brains. But it sounds like feminist rhetoric to deny testosterone has a correlative effect on the human brain. Actually, testosterone boosters even for men are supposed to stimulate their sex drives.
Few males care what women do sexually today. Unless she’s sleeping with the whole town or half the football team. Other than that a teenage girl - let alone a young woman - having a different sexual partner every year is no news or gossip at all. It’s status quo. Actually, according to Oprah and other talk shows the generations younger than mine view oral sex as the new French Kissing.
More feminist spin.
Women are the greatest discriminators. I recall a woman discriminating against me years ago because according to her I was “the type of man a woman marries.”Life is not egalitarian. Double standards exist for both sexes. And maybe they should or shouldn’t.
Yeah, I agree with you 100% on that. Such is life.On the other hand, we can also observe how men are picky, when they can afford to be so. Look at any wealthy or extraordinarily good-looking man: is his testosterone so potent that he cannot help but mate with any woman who crosses his path? Not at all! In fact we can see just how selective and discriminate he becomes when we observe how readily he will pass over the “strange, obese, and blubbering” women because he is certain there’s a more physically desireable one right around the corner who will be attracted to his wealth and/or looks. (I don’t think he’ll pass over the pretty-but-dumb ones, though - the “dumb” ones are almost sure to stroke his ego
Yeah, probably so.Ah, but women can have multiple orgasms within a shorter time period.
Not always true. Sometimes they happen involuntarily. It happened to me today at school.
This is a frequent problem of mine and it happens at the worst times.Eh… there are degrees to everything. There are a lot of numbers between 0% and 100%. Kind of like a partially of fully lifted bridge.
Most women would walk through a dark alley with Jack the Ripper before they would with Jesus Christ. They’d probably try to talk Jacky R. into stabbing Jesus in the eye with pocket knife and running off with his loot.