Sex education in private schools

[abstract123]

I went to a catholic school my entire life. When we had sex ed (I was 12 or so), the nuns and priests would say things like, “if you hold hands with someone of the opposite sex, you WILL go to hell” or “if you kiss a boy/girl before you’re married, you’re SINNING!”

This was the early 2000’s so it wasn’t like it was in the 70’s or 80’s. I don’t know how they teach it now, but I’ve heard the same story from other people who went to different private schools as well.

In regards to these schools, why do they teach it like this? Scare tactic, I’m assuming? Did anyone else have this experience?

 

[Jeremiah_29_11]

There are very few nuns in Catholic schools these days.

I do not think Catholic school students are in “sex education” classes in the first place, not like the public schools are. They learn theology and what the Church demands, which is chastity. The rest is up to the parents. If a Catholic school wanted to teach anything about sex, it should be using Theology of the Body as a guide.

 

[Em_in_FL]

If a Catholic school wanted to teach anything about sex, it should be using Theology of the Body as a guide.

This is what our school does.

 

[Hunting4MyHalo]

We approach “Human Growth and Development” much differently in schools now.
Our staff is pretty young and has really embraced TOB. We use it in my religion classes, the science teacher uses it in his classes, and the guidance councilor uses it in hers.

I think we have realized that telling kids “don’t do it” hasn’t worked. They need to understand why it’s important to wait for marriage and why “sex” is a great gift.

Kids need and want rules and expectations regarding their relationships with others. But they expect the rules to make sense and be fair. The Church is very straight forward about these areas in life. TOB gives a developing person meaning and dignity.

Sadly, we need more parents willing to lead by example and to know what the Church teaches. We live in a world that falsely celebrates the destruction of meaningful relationships - ultimately feeding our culture of death and our growing desire to recreate and redefine the sacred institute of Sacramental Marriage.

Just my thoughts.
Peace.

 

[Joe_5859]

I did not have that experience in Catholic schools nor do I personally know anyone who had such an experience.

 

[JackieMom]

I went to Catholic school too, and we learned about “Human Development and Sexuality” from a bio standpoint like the public school kids. We learned about menstruation, the body parts, hormones, how intercourse works, how a pregnancy occurs and progresses, etc. We also learned Catholic teaching as to sexuality concurrently. That unit was called “Christian marriage and family.” Part of that was learning appropriate displays of affection for non-spouses and how to maintain a chaste dating relationship. No threats of Hell for hand holding. Sheesh!

But we did not have any religious teaching at our school.

 

[Southern]

We approach “Human Growth and Development” much differently in schools now.
Our staff is pretty young and has really embraced TOB. We use it in my religion classes, the science teacher uses it in his classes, and the guidance councilor uses it in hers.

I think we have realized that telling kids “don’t do it” hasn’t worked. They need to understand why it’s important to wait for marriage and why “sex” is a great gift.

Kids need and want rules and expectations regarding their relationships with others. But they expect the rules to make sense and be fair. The Church is very straight forward about these areas in life. TOB gives a developing person meaning and dignity.

Sadly, we need more parents willing to lead by example and to know what the Church teaches. We live in a world that falsely celebrates the destruction of meaningful relationships - ultimately feeding our culture of death and our growing desire to recreate and redefine the sacred institute of Sacramental Marriage.

Just my thoughts.
Peace.

 

[Sarabande]

I went to a catholic school my entire life. When we had sex ed (I was 12 or so), the nuns and priests would say things like, “if you hold hands with someone of the opposite sex, you WILL go to hell” or “if you kiss a boy/girl before you’re married, you’re SINNING!”

This was the early 2000’s so it wasn’t like it was in the 70’s or 80’s. I don’t know how they teach it now, but I’ve heard the same story from other people who went to different private schools as well.

In regards to these schools, why do they teach it like this? Scare tactic, I’m assuming? Did anyone else have this experience?

I had sex education at my Catholic grammar school in the early 90s. We were never taught that and actually, yours is the first story I heard from people who grew up in the 80s through today who had that kind of experience. I’m not doubting your experience, but it’s really surprising.

For most of the classes we had, boys were in one room and girls were in the other. Parents had to give permission for any of us to be a part of the classes. One of the young priests at our parish worked with the boys and we had a lay female teacher work with us. It was, for the most part, regarding the scientific part of it that 12-13 year-olds could understand), discussing the changes in our bodies at this time, what happens, etc. We saw the drawings of the inner workings of male and female genetalia and, for the girls, got into how and why we have menstruation, etc. They then also touched on the moral part of keeping our bodies chaste, virginity until marriage, sinfulness of masterbation, etc. There were never any scare tactics used.

I was 10 when I started going through puberty and 11 when I officially went from a physical girl to a physical woman, so my parents had to teach me about all of that before we had those classes. They are both medical professionals, though, so I got the clinical education on it. Very matter-of-fact, nothing was embarrassing. But, it was good to be able to go through it with my peers in a classroom setting when I was a little older.

I missed out on the more in-depth education on it and in the Catholic high school as I left to attend a public high school earlier on and we didn’t get that until our senior year.

 

[on_the_hill]

Back in the 70s our Catholic school held a one-time evening program for 7th and 8th grade boys and their parents, where a man presented the biology of puberty and sex. As I recall, there was also a little basic morality thrown in. The emphasis was on the physical aspects, however.

 

[nodito]

For most of the classes we had, boys were in one room and girls were in the other. Parents had to give permission for any of us to be a part of the classes. One of the young priests at our parish worked with the boys and we had a lay female teacher work with us. It was, for the most part, regarding the scientific part of it that 12-13 year-olds could understand), discussing the changes in our bodies at this time, what happens, etc. We saw the drawings of the inner workings of male and female genetalia and, for the girls, got into how and why we have menstruation, etc. They then also touched on the moral part of keeping our bodies chaste, virginity until marriage, sinfulness of masterbation, etc. There were never any scare tactics used.

This was my experience as well. It was a Catholic K-8 school in the mid-90’s and the “Family Life” class was taught in 5th grade.

 

[Ophelia23]

That is nothing like the sex education that I received in the Catholic school system.

 

[Z1Z2]

I went to Catholic school in the 70’s and 80’s and got the biological facts.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Back in the 70s our Catholic school held a one-time evening program for 7th and 8th grade boys and their parents, where a man presented the biology of puberty and sex. As I recall, there was also a little basic morality thrown in. The emphasis was on the physical aspects, however.

And did the girls get a similar program?

 

[on_the_hill]

And did the girls get a similar program?

I was a 7th grade boy–I have no idea what the girls were doing then…or now.

I was in public school through 5th grade, and there the girls were taken from class to go see
“the movie” starting around 4th grade. We boys never knew what “the movie” was, or why only girls got to go.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I was a 7th grade boy–I have no idea what the girls were doing then…or now.

I was in public school through 5th grade, and there the girls were taken from class to go see
“the movie” starting around 4th grade. We boys never knew what “the movie” was, or why only girls got to go.

OK, I can see your point.

In my day, both girls and boys got to see “the movie” in 5th grade (as I recall). None of us could look at the other group for days, out of sheer embarrassment and mortification.



Regardless of what puberty was going to do to our outlook on the opposite sex, I think that movie caused the first real division between boys and girls, other than in PE class where the boys would quickly turn dodge ball into a combat arena.

 

[englishredrose]

It is a thought that perhaps the Nuns and Priests who teach that really do believe that because they are after all celibate aren’t they so have no real experience of sex never mind married life and how one gets to married life and where children come from etc. If they thought about it and in proper context they would know how it all happens but it possibly could be perhaps that these Priests and Nuns are truelly that niave about it in their own innocence and really do believe it. It which case they shouldn’t be the ones teaching sex education but. I would be embarrassed if I ever really thought a Priest or Nun could be so niave about these things but I suppose it could be very possible in that the experience they have lacked themselves in this area.

One advantage of married Priests with children in their families, we know they know how it all happens and one doesn’t go to hell for just holding hands with the opposite sex. Goodness gracious me, how does one give the sign of the peace in church if holding hands with the opposite sex means you go to hell. Ooops and that means it okay being a homosexual… sorry, no desire to offend anyone but just seen the whole ridicalous thing about it and sincerly hope that there aren’t any Priests and Nuns and Monks who think as thus and I would hope any headteacher now would squash any such teachings upon discovery of that being taught.

 

[Robert789]

Wow!!

I went to a Catholic school and remember being told to “wear protection if you are going to do it”.
It was taught from a biology perspective from teachers who werent catholic at all.

Yes, while sex does involve biology, maybe it should be taught from a R.E. perspective, so morality can be brought into it.

I left school without having heard of nfp!! Glad i’ve discovered it now.

Just cant wait to find a wee lady of my own and get practising it

 

[Robert789]

…though to be fair to my school…our religious classes were more geared to help break down the extreme sectarianism between catholics and protestants. When pupils had been shot going to our school, i think the bottom line of every R.E. class was “love God, dont hate protestants, and dont join the ira.”

So perhaps the catholic morality of sex ed wasnt high up the list at all!!

It used to be that army helicopters used to land beside our biology classrooms and disrupt the class - must have been God’s way of trying to stop those biology teachers teaching us the wrong things haha!!

 

[Southern]

…though to be fair to my school…our religious classes were more geared to help break down the extreme sectarianism between catholics and protestants. When pupils had been shot going to our school, i think the bottom line of every R.E. class was “love God, dont hate protestants, and dont join the ira.”

So perhaps the catholic morality of sex ed wasnt high up the list at all!!

It used to be that army helicopters used to land beside our biology classrooms and disrupt the class - must have been God’s way of trying to stop those biology teachers teaching us the wrong things haha!!

 

[aspirant]

I went to a catholic school my entire life. When we had sex ed (I was 12 or so), the nuns and priests would say things like, “if you hold hands with someone of the opposite sex, you WILL go to hell” or “if you kiss a boy/girl before you’re married, you’re SINNING!” This was the early 2000’s so it wasn’t like it was in the 70’s or 80’s.

That’s interesting. I attended a non-religious private school in the 80s. In addition to biology classes, which naturally included the human reproductive system, we also had lots of sexual education programs, both single-sex and mixed groups. I don’t remember much of a moral component to this, really. Most of it was just dispelling misinformation and trying to present some facts. A lot of it was focused on “here’s how pregnancy can occur and how to avoid it, here’s how a variety of diseases can be contracted and how to avoid them, here’s how you might talk with your partner about whether you want to engage in sex or abstain, etc.” We had the classic condom on a banana demonstration, lots of conversations about the importance of consent, many teachers offering to talk with us privately if we had questions or concerns. I’ve often wondered what sex education would be like in a religious school.

If a Catholic school wanted to teach anything about sex, it should be using Theology of the Body as a guide.