Sex / Marriage / help

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TheLittleLady said:
That is why the Church does not teach that intimacy must be “open to the possibility”. She teaches that each act must be “ordered toward procreation”. That means that you do it in the same way you would do if she were fertile and you wanted to conceive.
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This.
This is what your priest needs to explain better.
If one does not render the normal act infertile, leaving nature to take its course (which may not work) then it is always an act ordered and open to life regardless of NFP intent.
 
It’s a great and important question…

In catholic point of view, NFP is a moral method (Vs contraception/sterilisation which are never) to avoid chlidren for a time for serious reasons.

Next, the intention should be right. We must be always open to children when we have marital embrace. NFP permits that when we have an open mind in acceptance of children who could be conceived without our purposefull intention to conceive them.
NFP can be abuse and use as any form of birth control, with no open mind with children, but for others reasons, such as hormon-free, low cost… Which cannot be enough to be moral and consistent with catholic teachings.

To conclude,
  • with contraception, marital intimacy would never be open to children, and seperate sex and procreation. So it cannot be moral. (if you use it, I undersand you’re wife’s wiew).
    -with NFP it can be moral, if you’re intentions are moral. Depends on them. I know it can be debated and need discernement because as you said, you both don’t want any other children. You’re wife see it as not been open with children, but you see it as been open to children, as you will accept children if they come.
Formation, discutions, prayer, discernement with a competent theologian, or priest for your couple is need.
 
If you want some litterature, and inform yourself and wife : you could look in :

-Humanae vitae, Paul VI. The basic.
  • Theology of the Body by John Paul II. A great and deep explanation of the design of God’s for human sexuality. They are many commentators such as Christopher West…
Janet Smith, John and Sheila Kippley…

And of course, usccb website and Vatican website.
 
In my experience, sex is so much for babies that It is not easy to separate the two, when you don’t use contraception.

For exemple :
  • after the birth of our child, we have delated sex when I believe (bad information) that my fertility has returns. I was afraid of being pregnant again.
    Now, it’s my husband you do not want to have sex beacuse he does’nt want to have an other child.
to conclude : the more we want a chlid the more we have sex, the more we don’t want children, the less we have sex. It’s a natural order. It’s better than revserse:blush:
 
Anicette said:
We must be always open to children when we have marital embrace
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If the couple marries in the Catholic Church, they vow to lovingly accept children from God. This at it’s core means that we will not abort children that we conceive, we will not mutilate our reproductive organs with surgery, chemicals, etc.

The Church teaches that each marital act must be ordered toward procreation. We may have marital relations during the infertile times. This is not the same as “always be open to children”.
 
Great. Thank you.

But sometimes we don’t feel open to children at all. (and that’s don’t mean that we will abort children that we could conceive).
 
I think “open to children” is more about the physics of the act than feelings about the act.
 
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