sex within marriage

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Can someone please give me an overview of the “rules” on sex within marriage. I’m in the process of becoming Catholic and while I knew that premarital sex and birth control was wrong- I had no idea there were stipulations on the sex you had with your spouse until I started reading a few of the other threads on here.
Thanks :confused:
 
The official word is that Tab ‘P’ goes into Slot ‘V’ as the end draws near. How you get to that point is up to you two.
 
Within a valid marriage.

No Porn.

No contraception.

Husband intends to finish inside his wife’s vagina.

The rest is up to what you are comfortable with.

Get a copy of “Holy Sex” by Greg Popcak (you can find it on Amazon.com)
 
cowgirl89 said:
Can someone please give me an overview of the “rules” on sex within marriage. I’m in the process of becoming Catholic and while I knew that premarital sex and birth control was wrong- I had no idea there were stipulations on the sex you had with your spouse until I started reading a few of the other threads on here.
Thanks :confused:
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Cowgirl,

LOTS of info on that whole topic. The problem is that you will not get a consistant or definative answer on the “boundaries” of sex within Marriage.

Your best bet is to consult the Catechism (type in ‘Marriage’ in the search box). I’d also recommend some of the literature that has been mentioned in the threads (anything by Christopher West).

I wouldn’t recommend trying to get an answer here on the forum.
 
cowgirl89 said:
Can someone please give me an overview of the “rules” on sex within marriage. I’m in the process of becoming Catholic and while I knew that premarital sex and birth control was wrong- I had no idea there were stipulations on the sex you had with your spouse until I started reading a few of the other threads on here.
Thanks :confused:
Click to expand...
Welcome to CAF,

In a nutshell, each sexual interaction must result in the husband “finishing” inside the wife in normal intercourse, with no artificial contraception. Oral/manual stimulation is allowed as foreplay/afterplay, and it is allowed for the wife to climax through manual/oral stimulation, either before or after the husband, as long as it is part of a completed act of intercourse.

That’s about it.

I suggest you get one of Christopher West’s books on the Theology of the Body. The original TOB is by JPII. West interprets it for the non-theologian.

God Bless
 
Thanks everyone! I’ll try to find some of those readings:thumbsup:
 
cowgirl89 said:
Thanks everyone! I’ll try to find some of those readings:thumbsup:
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Hi - take a look also at the encyclical humane vitae (its commonly referred to as the encyclical banning contraception, but it speaks a great deal about conjugal love in the marraige).

Also - its a short read 🙂

Blessings,

Brian
 
ForwardProgress said:
The official word is that Tab ‘P’ goes into Slot ‘V’ as the end draws near. How you get to that point is up to you two.
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Hey! I know where that came from!😉

It’s important to understand the “why” about all this stuff. Seems silly sometimes. But sex was made by God for us to enjoy in the proper context. That context is love. Most “restrictions” revolve around what is a loving act vs. what is just for pleasure. The Good News About Sex and Marriage is another book that covers such details.

And I agree with one of the posters. All your answers should not come from here. You have been given many sources. Read, understand, pray and enjoy. 👍
 
ForwardProgress said:
The official word is that Tab ‘P’ goes into Slot ‘V’ as the end draws near. How you get to that point is up to you two.
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You and I have had some disagreements in the past, but this is probably one of the best quotes regarding acceptable practices in the bedroom that I have ever seen! Volumes have been written about this topic and you just said it all in two sentences! 😃
 
OK this is going to seem like a stupid question but if the male is unable to reach and end even though he may really want to and the couples initial intention was to reach that intention with the correct tabs and slots is there a problem with the woman still having achieved “satisfaction” or is this what is known as “sexual intimacy.” And I apologize ahead of time if I have offended anyone but this is a real question. 😊

God bless,
 
joandarc2008 said:
OK this is going to seem like a stupid question but if the male is unable to reach and end even though he may really want to and the couples initial intention was to reach that intention with the correct tabs and slots is there a problem with the woman still having achieved “satisfaction” or is this what is known as “sexual intimacy.” And I apologize ahead of time if I have offended anyone but this is a real question. 😊

God bless,
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No there is no sin as long as the intention was to have marital intercourse during that time. Basically according to catholic moral theology the greater burden on “satisfaction” lies with how the man ends. While it is optimal for the two to achieve satistfaction at the same time the church understands that isn’t going to always happen. The woman may reach climax before , during or right after the act of intercourse.
 
cowgirl89 said:
Can someone please give me an overview of the “rules” on sex within marriage. I’m in the process of becoming Catholic and while I knew that premarital sex and birth control was wrong- I had no idea there were stipulations on the sex you had with your spouse until I started reading a few of the other threads on here.
Thanks :confused:
Click to expand...
A couple of resources for you. I know it can seem confusing. It helps to develop an understanding of where the church is coming from on our sexuality and how she understands the meaning of it.

Love and Responsibility by Karol Wojtyla (Pope John Paul 2 when he was a Cardinal)
The Good News about Sex and Marriage by Christopher West

Holy Sex by Greg Popcak

Any of the Theology of the Body works from the original to one of the broken down versions by Christopher West or others.
 
The book Theology of the Body for Beginngers by Christopher West will answer any and all questions you have.
 
This guy (who seems fairly knowledgeable on moral theology from his other articles) says only genital-genital intercourse is allowed, any other stimulation prohibited (even if there still is completion of natural intercourse before/after those acts).
catholicplanet.com/CCSE/marriage-sins.htm
 
The_Dude said:
This guy (who seems fairly knowledgeable on moral theology from his other articles) says only genital-genital intercourse is allowed, any other stimulation prohibited (even if there still is completion of natural intercourse before/after those acts).
catholicplanet.com/CCSE/marriage-sins.htm
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He may seem that way, but as another said, it is not the teaching JP II has told us. So if this guy becomes Pope, I may then listen to him. Until then, I’ll believe that sex isn’t meant to be one dimentional.
 
bilop said:
Oral/manual stimulation is allowed as foreplay/afterplay, and it is allowed for the wife to climax through manual/oral stimulation, either before or after the husband, as long as it is part of a completed act of intercourse.
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I don’t know if it’s true but I’ve read on the Internet that some men are able to have multiple climaxes too but its rare and requires training. I don’t know if it would be medically advisable. I assume these men would be allowed an extra climax.

Question. If the wife has already climaxed before the husband, is she alloiwed an extra one through stimulation after the husband climaxes?

Question. How long after the husband climaxes is climax allowed for the wife? Does it have to be while the “engines” of the woman are still “running”, if you will, or can it be a little later in the evening? Like what would be the cut off point? Is it a time-based cut off or a condition-based cut off?

I don’t understand why the woman isn’t allowed to climax without the husband climaxing. Wouldn’t it be OK, if the woman climaxed and then the husband (maybe he’s not too into sex – there are a few people like that believe it or not, they have a website for support) pulled out – NOT to contracept, but just b/c he was not into it and completed the happy loving task of pleasing his wife?

I just don’t understand why between a husband and wife, them both together, the husband can’t just through stimulation and no intercourse bring the wife to climax. No seed is spilled and there’s no contraception involved.

Also, is climax for the woman allowed as part of the foreplay? What if she climaxes before actual intercourse begins? (it can happen) What if a couple prefers to try to do it that way with intercourse still happening after the female climax foreplay?
 
jfhh said:
I don’t know if it’s true but I’ve read on the Internet that some men are able to have multiple climaxes too but its rare and requires training. I don’t know if it would be medically advisable. I assume these men would be allowed an extra climax.

Question. If the wife has already climaxed before the husband, is she alloiwed an extra one through stimulation after the husband climaxes?

Question. How long after the husband climaxes is climax allowed for the wife? Does it have to be while the “engines” of the woman are still “running”, if you will, or can it be a little later in the evening? Like what would be the cut off point? Is it a time-based cut off or a condition-based cut off?

I don’t understand why the woman isn’t allowed to climax without the husband climaxing. Wouldn’t it be OK, if the woman climaxed and then the husband (maybe he’s not too into sex – there are a few people like that believe it or not, they have a website for support) pulled out – NOT to contracept, but just b/c he was not into it and completed the happy loving task of pleasing his wife?

I just don’t understand why between a husband and wife, them both together, the husband can’t just through stimulation and no intercourse bring the wife to climax. No seed is spilled and there’s no contraception involved.

Also, is climax for the woman allowed as part of the foreplay? What if she climaxes before actual intercourse begins? (it can happen) What if a couple prefers to try to do it that way with intercourse still happening after the female climax foreplay?
Click to expand...
The man can climax as many times as he wants/can as long as each time he is inside his wife.

The woman can climax before, during, or after the man does, as many times as she wants/can as long as it is part of the same session (no, you can’t come back 3 hours later).

The wife can’t be brought to climax, separate from intercourse, b/c each marital act must be both unitive and procreative. That would fail the second test.

I would suggest you check out one of Christopher West’s book on the theology of the body.

God Bless
 
The_Dude said:
This guy (who seems fairly knowledgeable on moral theology from his other articles) says only genital-genital intercourse is allowed, any other stimulation prohibited (even if there still is completion of natural intercourse before/after those acts).
catholicplanet.com/CCSE/marriage-sins.htm
Click to expand...
I wouldn’t recommend that writer’s point of view on a number of things. For clarification call the Apologists hotline and discuss the website with them.
 
Sex between a man and a woman is a prayer the couple offers up to God in which they ask Him to bless their union by strengthening the love between the couple and by granting them children and in exchange they promise to be obedient to God, faithful to His will, and to cherish the gifts that He gives them.

When you think about sex like this, the reasons behind the teachings of the Church become pretty crystal clear. Would you pray for babies if you didn’t want them? No. So, if you don’t want them…abstain from praying for them.

Masturbating is sinful because there’s no union for god to bless, and the only love coming out of that is an unhealthy self-love, and it’s obviously not going to produce children. Oral sex puts the needs of one of the partners above the other since only one partner gains in this exchange, and thus it encourages selfish behaviors and, just as with masturbation, there can be no fruitfulness out of oral sex. While it is possible for both partners to experience pleasure during anal sex, it’s also prone to causing disease and can physically cause damage to the partner on the receiving end since the anus was not intended to be used like that. Furthermore, it’s useless to pray for fruitfulness while doing an act that is inherently unable to produce it.

Only in vaginal intercourse does that prayer make sense, and then only when the man and the woman are united in their intent to accept God’s will. As long as you keep that in mind, you won’t have to worry about things. It’ll be pretty obvious what should and shouldn’t be done.
 
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