Sexism Against Men

[silentfactor80]

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Actually no – that is not “getting it” – and many end up accepting abused by husbands who are far from God. This is the kind of “ideology” – your link promotes.

And if men did the same they would accept an abusive wife that brings great dishonor to them. Please take your white-knight guilt complex to another thread.

 

[mommamaree]

I apologize mommamaree. It was not right of us to ignore your post. I will find it and comment.

Huh. Go figure. I assumed, obviously wrongly, that I was ignored on purpose. Glad to see I was mistaken. I will await your comment then.

 

[silentfactor80]

Here is where we will agree, SilentFactor. Women often take a parallel track in their careers, called the Mommy Track, that leads to a lower salary, but keeps their foot in the door through their childbearing years. It is not something women should complain about. They get greater flexibility and use more benefits in these situations, whereas their male peers are still plugging away at a faster pace, and using less benefits (sick days, parental leave, etc.).
Men who keep up that pace should be compensated fairly. But this is often not taken into account at all by people who complain. But what do I know? I opted out entirely to stay home and raise my kids and be flexible about moving for the sake of my husband’s career.

Thank you mommamaree for this comment! Very humble and kind! I am glad we agree on this issue. Having kids is a sacrifice and any woman that makes the sacrifice you did should be honored by her husband in return. My mom made the same sacrifice and my dad always respected / honored that. All of us kids honor her as well. Anytime she needs something she doesn’t need to ask as we will just do it for her. We taught her how to use a computer and the internet. We did the same for my grandmother. These were women that worked hard and never whined about their husbands or men in general. They were exemplary role models in my family and I greatly appreciate that.

 

[Walking_Home]

Walking_Home:

Actually no – that is not “getting it” – and many end up accepting abused by husbands who are far from God. This is the kind of “ideology” – your link promotes.

And if men did the same they would accept an abusive wife that brings great dishonor to them. Please take your white-knight guilt complex to another thread.

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What – you did not like – for it to come out. Your “idea” of getting it – actually promotes – the “ideology” of women “submitting” to being abused.

 

[silentfactor80]

Huh. Go figure. I assumed, obviously wrongly, that I was ignored on purpose. Glad to see I was mistaken. I will await your comment then.

Certainly not on purpose. 10 pages of comments later things got stuff and crazy in here. Sorry about that

 

[silentfactor80]

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What – you did not like – for it to come out. Your “idea” of getting it – actually promotes – the “ideology” of women “submitting” to being abused.

Ephesians 5:22 commands women to submit to their husbands, NOT to abuse!!! No one anywhere says women have to submit to abuse and if you actually read Peaceful wife’s blog without cherry picking you would see SHE SAYS THAT IN PLAIN PRINT!!!

The Bible also commands husbands to be like Christ in 5:25. I don’t hear you saying that encourages abuse of men or maybe you think abusing men is OK! Stop cherry picking to assuage your collective guilt.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

This is quite right. I see some men (not here on CAF) saying that women “deserve” to be single mothers and abandoned by other men because hey, that’s equality. What a perverse attitude. You don’t want to be ruled? Fine. We’ll just use you and leave you. Or we’ll become little babies and live like adolescents for the rest of our lives, locking ourselves away in video games, pornography and fantasy sports. By the way, I am a fan of video games and fantasy sports. It’s fine in moderation. It’s nice to make a few bucks too! But far too many men make those things integral parts of their lives.

It’s quite the pathetic response if you ask me and pretty much proof positive that we’ve failed to “rule” properly. Pope Francis follows Christ’s example. If you want to be first, put yourself last. If you want to be ruler of all you must be the servant of all. Women are the physically weaker sex and always will be. That gives us men the opportunity to either use our physical power to defend, protect and lift them up or we can dominate them. We’ve chosen for quite some time to dominate them. Our rule when we chose that path was illegitimate.

If a man wants to lead his family he will extol his wife at all times. He will serve her as Christ serves the Church. Not by catering to her every whim and being pathetic, but by dying to himself as Christ died for us.

You want alpha? Christ is alpha. Jesus Christ was the most alpha male of all time. He had all power and He chose to lay down His life for all of us. He handed over His life to be killed as a common criminal and saw nearly all of His friends abandoning Him at the most crucial hour. Yet He did not come down from the cross! He left our free will intact. Had He come down from the cross we would have had no choice but to worship Him. It would have been out of terror though, not out of love.

So must we men soldier on and follow Christ’s example. Truthfully, dealing with a little over-the-top feminist claptrap in the media is nothing compared to the brutality women suffer in other parts of the world and even here in the U.S. where one in six women is the victim of rape.

 

[Walking_Home]

That is what Ephesians 5:22 commands women to do! It also commands husbands to be like Christ in 5:25. Stop cherry picking to assuage your guilt.

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Below is from the USCCB site: And I was not the one guilty of providing a “link” – promoting that women “submit” to husbands – who are far from God.

The Church Responds to Domestic Violence

Scripture and Church Teachings
Religion can be either a resource or a roadblock for battered women. As a resource, it encourages women to resist mistreatment. As a roadblock, its misinterpretation can contribute to the victim’s self-blame and suffering and to the abuser’s rationalizations.

Abused women often say, “I can’t leave this relationship. The Bible says it would be wrong.” Abusive men often say, “The Bible says my wife should be submissive to me.” They take the biblical text and distort it to support their right to batter.

As bishops, we condemn the use of the Bible to support abusive behavior in any form. A correct reading of Scripture leads people to an understanding of the equal dignity of men and women and to relationships based on mutuality and love. Beginning with Genesis, Scripture teaches that women and men are created in God’s image. Jesus himself always respected the human dignity of women. Pope John Paul II reminds us that "Christ’s way of acting, the Gospel of his words and deeds, is a consistent protest against whatever offends the dignity of women."11

Men who abuse often use Ephesians 5:22, taken out of context, to justify their behavior, but the passage (v. 21-33) refers to the mutual submission of husband and wife out of love for Christ. Husbands should love their wives as they love their own body, as Christ loves the Church.

Men who batter also cite Scripture to insist that their victims forgive them (see, for example, Mt 6:9-15). A victim then feels guilty if she cannot do so. Forgiveness, however, does not mean forgetting the abuse or pretending that it did not happen. Neither is possible. Forgiveness is not permission to repeat the abuse. Rather, forgiveness means that the victim decides to let go of the experience and move on with greater insight and conviction not to tolerate abuse of any kind again.

An abused woman may see her suffering as just punishment for a past deed for which she feels guilty. She may try to explain suffering by saying that it is “God’s will” or “part of God’s plan for my life” or “God’s way of teaching me a lesson.” This image of a harsh, cruel God runs contrary to the biblical image of a kind, merciful, and loving God. Jesus went out of his way to help suffering women. Think of the woman with the hemorrhage (Mk 5:25-34) or the woman caught in adultery (Jn 8:1-11). God promises to be present to us in our suffering, even when it is unjust.

Finally, we emphasize that no person is expected to stay in an abusive marriage. Some abused women believe that church teaching on the permanence of marriage requires them to stay in an abusive relationship. They may hesitate to seek a separation or divorce. They may fear that they cannot re-marry in the Church. Violence and abuse, not divorce, break up a marriage. We encourage abused persons who have divorced to investigate the possibility of seeking an annulment. An annulment, which determines that the marriage bond is not valid, can frequently open the door to healing.