Sexless marriage .. help?

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People are living longer lives than ever before. Modern marital sexual expectations haven’t kept up with this change. Don’t resort to chemicals to keep up with the Jones. Viagra and Monet Touch are not the way to go.
Be sensitive to your wife and realize she has aged in ways you have not realized yet.
Love, pray and stay together. There are many ways to show each other love and kindness.
 
Thank you. But has nothing to do with pregnancy … we both enjoyed the connection. It’s just as time went on… the intimacy ended
 
I agree. I just love my wife so much, my heart needs the intamacy sometimes. Holding hands walking … spending quiet time I cherish also … but once in a while … a married couple needs more
 
Does she realize that there are 2 aspects of marital union:

1)the procreative
2)the unitive
 
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Yes. Pro creative for sure. Unity for younger couples only. I’m just lost for words.
 
Would she believe a Pope?:
Pope Pius XI: “By this same love it is necessary that all the other rights and duties of the marriage state be regulated as the words of the Apostle: ‘Let the husband render the debt to the wife, and the wife also in like manner to the husband,’ express not only a law of justice but of charity.” [Casti Connubii, n. 25.]
 
Rendering the marriage debt, not only populates the world and is mainly ordered toward procreation but also:
1-keeps the couple united in heart and mind
2)benefits their entire family
3)Quiets Concupiscience
 
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Catechism of the Catholic Church:
2362 “The acts in marriage by which the intimate and chaste union of the spouses takes place are noble and honorable; the truly human performance of these acts fosters the self-giving they signify and enriches the spouses in joy and gratitude.” Sexuality is a source of joy and pleasure:

The Creator himself . . . established that in the [generative] function, spouses should experience pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit. Therefore, the spouses do nothing evil in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment. They accept what the Creator has intended for them. At the same time, spouses should know how to keep themselves within the limits of just moderation.
 
PJH_74 was saying something about YoungCatholicGuy not have a girlfriend and that was why I said that.
 
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Don’t give the devil credit for normal marital problems.

Have you made an appointment with your priest yet?
 
I’ve must have prayed … talked with 5 different priest just this year alone. Gods testing my faith
 
This is a great cross… I know… it hurts to be rejected so many times… it’s frustrating and confusing… Always wanting to know why…

What helped me was reading about St.Francis of Assisi and his life and all the humiliation and penance he deliberately went through, helped me put things in perspective and helped me ignite fire underneath me to direct my attention to more good works, penance, prayer, voluntary poverty(simpleness),and things like that.
 
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Buy a copy of Matthew Kelly’s book “The 7 Levels of Intimacy”.
 
I have scrolled through the responses and I didn’t see this mentioned yet, but apologies if I missed it. I don’t think it justifies her response, but if she had a very high libido and it has now dropped now that you are reaching middle age, it may be very possible that she is approaching menopause. That is normal and healthy as far as it goes, but as I said, it does not justify a constant refusal. You both definitely need counseling. It is inappropriate for her to unilaterally refuse marital relations just because she doesn’t feel like it, but I don’t think there’s any easy way to say so without making her even more defensive.

Since you’re the one who’s here posting, I will also agree with previous posters who have suggested that you make time for romance without expecting sex from it. Some kind of connection and intimacy has to be re-established here, and if she doesn’t want to yet, you will have to do it. If your wife refuses counseling, you can start with individual to help you stay strong while you fight for your marriage.
 
Have you sat down with her and talked with her about this? Have you told her how this makes you feel, how this is affecting your marriage? How difficult this is for you? How much you want to be loved but most of all to love her? How much you love her and can’t live without her?
 
Libido I have thought about. But not fir 3 years of nothing. Thank you for your kind words. I have seen help … but again it doesn’t help me as the situation still stays the same. I just need to keep praying I guess … possibly God is testing my faith
 
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