Sexual Morality "Opt-out"

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CilladeRoma

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I am a Confirmation catechist. Our 2nd-year candidates (Confirmation prep is a 2-year program in my diocese) are at the end of their 9th-grade year. One of our last sessions is about Catholic sexual morality.

We have excellent resources and have worked closely with the diocese in developing this portion of the program.

The problem:
Out of 30 candidates, 10 parents want to “opt out” of the lesson that day because they feel it is “inappropriate” for us to be teaching sexual morality to their kids.

TBH, my head is still spinning. I am not sure how/why we would even entertain this request, but the Pastoral Administrator is. He has taken the complaints and our curriculum (which he had a hand in also) to the Bishop and Department of Catechesis for review and advice.

Has anyone else ever dealt with this? How did your parish/school handle it?
 
My parish used Theology of the Body, no opt out was necessary. But it’s been several years since my daughter went through Confirmation prep, so my opinion may not count much 😉
 
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I would seriously ask them to purchase Theology of the Body Work Book and DVD’s and have them sign that THEY have covered the material as parents (first educators in the faith).

One lesson and they’ll come crawling back.
They think it’s sex ed. They are woefully misinformed.
ETA: when our grade school offered classes on this in Middle grades. one mother was upset because of the “P-word”

Take a wild guess
Go ahead, guess

PUBERTY

I asked her how much ridicule did she think her son would withstand from being the only boy whose mama wouldn’t allow him to be with his peers learning good morals.

:roll_eyes:

For all of her sheltering…this young mad has stopped practicing his faith.
It didn’t work. 🤷‍♀️
 
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We have done this. We had a parents meeting and went over exactly what we would be doing.
The ones who want to opt out believe that we shouldn’t be telling their kids what the Church truly teaches because it’s not “always true for everybody”.

How do you battle this line of thinking?
 
Ask them to fast forward a few years.
Do they believe that as working adults morality comes in to play? Why , or why not?
 
Ask them to back up their assertions. Show where the Church apparently walks itself back in this case
 
I would be one of the parents opting out. I don’t see why a discussion of sexual anything should be required for Confirmation. I didn’t get that type of instruction at CCD before my confirmation, neither did my parents, neither did my grandparents. Topics of a sexual nature should be discussed at home with your parents.
 
We’ve been through this. Our issue this year is we have quite a few kids whose parents are in irregular situations, or who have same-sex couples in their immediate family.

Some of these parents don’t want us telling their kids that marriage is only between a man & woman, that sexual acts outside of marriage are wrong, that masturbation is wrong. Yet, they want them confirmed.
I just don’t get it.
 
I agree to a point, but we are talking about sexual morality. That should/must be talked about in Confirmation, how else will they learn it?
 
Yeah, well, no one was shacking up back in the day and believing it was just peachy either. One has to counter all the secular arguments, and best to have TRAINED catechists and the priest deal with it.
 
CilladeRoma said:
We have done this. We had a parents meeting and went over exactly what we would be doing.

The ones who want to opt out believe that we shouldn’t be telling their kids what the Church truly teaches because it’s not “always true for everybody”.

How do you battle this line of thinking?
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I’m not sure you really can battle this line of thinking. I’d be tempted to ask them “then why are you raising them catholic if you don’t want them to learn the faith”, but that would probably come across wrong and drive them further away. 🤷
 
Not around here they don’t. Their parents don’t know what Catholic moral teaching is, how can they pass it on?
 
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If this were over any other point of doctrine, I’d think the answer would be obvious.

My solution would be to say that it is acceptable for parents who don’t want their child to learn some particular doctrine from someone else to get a summary the doctrines being taught and have their child test out of the section.

Asserting the right of the parents to be their child’s principle teacher? OK.
Excusing them from learning what the Church teaches? Not an option.
 
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Well, they should be grateful that someone will bring up the subject because teens tend not want to listen to parents. “Because it’s 2018 maaaaaaaaa, you don’t KNOW”. God bless your efforts. Truly.
 
Exactly. We did offer that as an option. It was the “testing” that was balked at.
That told us that the teaching would probably not happen.
 
CilladeRoma said:
Exactly. We did offer that as an option. It was the “testing” that was balked at.

That told us that the teaching would probably not happen.
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They have two choices: they can convince the pastor that they are prepared because they went through the study program he has authorized or they can prove they learned a certain amount of it elsewhere by passing an exam. The “I’d prefer to remain ignorant” option is not offered. It is the pastor’s responsibility to satisfy himself that they are prepared for confirmation. This isn’t something he can choose to pass on.
 
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Okay, but some parents wait way too long to begin to have these discussions. They don’t consider that while their 7 year old is innocent and isn’t exposed to sex yet, their 7 year old’s friend have older siblings and some discussions about dinner tables can be, well, interesting.

I started talking to my kiddo in kindy-first grade about sexuality. There was a book at the time, probably still about there about teaching the birds and the bees to little ones in cartoon format, in words they could understand. To this day, I’m grateful I started early, because it set the tone for her to come to me and ask questions anything something came up at school. Also, she learned the actual words for body parts rather than silly slang that some people use. To this day, she’s 20, and perfectly comfortable with the words, penis, vagina, and uterus. Weewee, china and hooha are silly.

But, I digress…

Yes, I believe parents are responsible for teaching their kids about sex, but they often are uncomfortable, uninformed themselves about some topics outside of the basics, and don’t start soon enough.
 
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