Sexual Morality "Opt-out"

[CilladeRoma]

Hoping that is what will happen.
It was the Bishop who developed this 2-year program and it’s curriculum, so hopefully he will support us.

 

[PetraG]

I would think he will require the confirmandi to fulfill the reasonable requirements he has given, one way or another.

 

[goout]

We’ve been through this. Our issue this year is we have quite a few kids whose parents are in irregular situations, or who have same-sex couples in their immediate family.

Some of these parents don’t want us telling their kids that marriage is only between a man & woman, that sexual acts outside of marriage are wrong, that masturbation is wrong. Yet, they want them confirmed.
I just don’t get it.

Not ready for confirmation.
It’s not a sin. If they are not willing to think with the Church, why would they even want confirmation?

 

[CilladeRoma]

I have been asking myself this for the past 2 years.
Many do not attend Mass. Most have not been to Confession since their first one.
It is like Confirmation is just one more thing to check off as done.

 

[PetraG]

Not ready for confirmation.

It’s not a sin. If they are not willing to think with the Church, why would they even want confirmation?

Exactly. The faithful have a right to the sacraments they are properly disposed to recieve. It is the duty of the bishop to affirm that they are indeed properly disposed.

 

[goout]

goout:

Not ready for confirmation.

It’s not a sin. If they are not willing to think with the Church, why would they even want confirmation?

Exactly. The faithful have a right to the sacraments they are properly disposed to recieve. It is the duty of the bishop to affirm that they are indeed properly disposed.

Yes. A person should follow their conscience. If it is not full conformed to the Catholic Church then it isn’t.
It is better to honestly say “no thank you” than to participate with duplicity. at least IMO…

 

[TheLittleLady]

We let the parents know ahead of time that the only material covered would be in the lesson plan, that if a child asked questions they would be answered directly from the Catechism.

We divided the class and taught boys and girls separately. We had medical professionals from the parish as part of the class. The priest also sat in with the boys, a nun sat in with the girls.

Parents were welcome to come to class with their child or could opt out, not one parent ever came and no one ever opted out.

 

[resolute]

If they are not willing to think with the Church, why would they even want confirmation?

See that’s what I was wondering. Why would parents who aren’t practicing Catholics and faithful to the Magisterium want their children to be confirmed in the first place? Perhaps we need better adult catechesis so that poorly formed or misinformed parents can better pass on the truths of the Church to their children where sexuality is concerned.

 

[Tulitas]

You Archbishop should have mandated hours. Ours are at least 20 of instruction with a major retreat. Your pastor’s mistake was in asking permission of the parents.
Our kids came, and the topic was what the topic was. End of story.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Okay, but some parents wait way too long to begin to have these discussions.

That does not give anyone else the right to usurp the parental decision.

 

[Daisy]

Some of these parents don’t want us telling their kids that marriage is only between a man & woman, that sexual acts outside of marriage are wrong, that masturbation is wrong. Yet, they want them confirmed.

I just don’t get it.

It’s simply not about driving them further away from their faith as JanetF has stated. They know the teachings and they choose not to accept them. And yet they want the cultural perks and community of the faith. It simply doesn’t work this way. You need to stand firm and tell these parents that if they do not want to educate their children in some of the most basic and central teachings of the Catholic Church, then they can NOT participate in the sacrament. It’s very important. This is how you battle sacrilege. It’s heretical and extremely inappropriate.

 

[Tulitas]

Parents have a moral duty to instruct their children in the faith They hand it over to parishes.
They have always had, and will continue to be able to homeschool is they have issues with curriculum.

 

[goout]

goout:

Not ready for confirmation.

It’s not a sin. If they are not willing to think with the Church, why would they even want confirmation?

See that’s what I was wondering. Why would parents who aren’t practicing Catholics and faithful to the Magisterium want their children to be confirmed in the first place? Perhaps we need better adult catechesis so that poorly formed or misinformed parents can better pass on the truths of the Church to their children where sexuality is concerned.

I brought this up in our parish. We had an instance where a mother badly wanted her child to be baptized and have 1st communion. She was making sincere efforts and attending Mass to the best of her ability, but she was in an irregular relationship and the sacraments were denied.

On the other hand, we have parents with no intention of raising children in the faith getting “photo op sacraments”.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Actually, this is why we need to go to restored order of the Sacraments.

 

[CilladeRoma]

That, my friend, is the $64K question!

I think is has to do with 60 years of bad Catechesis. Their parents don’t know Church teaching and the Sacraments are just an time for a pretty dress, a nice suit and a party.

 

[casslean]

I would be one of the parents opting out. I don’t see why a discussion of sexual anything should be required for Confirmation. I didn’t get that type of instruction at CCD before my confirmation, neither did my parents, neither did my grandparents. Topics of a sexual nature should be discussed at home with your parents.

No, they shouldn’t.

Your child should feel free to ask questions about sexual morality from whomever they believe qualified to answer them. They should also be at least comfortable enough with topics regarding sexual morality that they aren’t going to refuse to attend Confession the first time they stumble on that front.

One of the worst things we do to our children in North America is instill this prudish attitude toward sex and sexual morality.

To the OP, I hope your bishop backs you up. If I was in his shoes, I’d sit those ten parents down and tell them they could either ensure their child completed the program or withdraw them from confirmation prep until they were sufficiently mature enough to do so.

 

[goout]

Actually, this is why we need to go to restored order of the Sacraments.

Yes 100%.
The times and spiritual state of our culture call for that.
It seems to me that delaying until a conscious choice is present would be a good idea also.
And then again, the parents may just give up from the start if forced to learn and think and choose.
I dunno.

 

[CaptainPrudeman]

This. I’m not sure if the bishop would be okay with it, but if I were him, I’d sit the parents down and say, “Look. Either your children demonstrate full knowledge of the Church’s infallible teaching on human sexuality, and pledge to carry it out, or they aren’t confirmed. That, or you let the kids come to be taught by the catechists. Your choice.”

 

[resolute]

They have always had, and will continue to be able to homeschool is they have issues with curriculum.

I homeschool our children’s religious instruction, but in my diocese I am not allowed to homeschool them for Sacramental years. Since Confirmation is involved here, homeschooling may not be an option. I don’t know their particular bishop’s rules.

 

[CilladeRoma]

We don’t have an “Arch”. Our Bishop did mandate hours (25 per year + 1- 6 hour retreat per year)

We did not “ask permission”. We sent out our monthly newsletter with the reading assignments for the next class in their text book. All of the “opt outs” have come from the parents themselves, we did not plant this seed.