Sexual Morality "Opt-out"

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He was answering my post. He linked it in his post.
I too am a “mere catechist”

I too am considering ending my decades long service to the Church since (as you observe) catechists get less respect than Rodney Dangerfield.
Actually it is good to be questioned and misunderstood.
Unfortunately, I do have a big ego…Pride.
It is good to get knocked down!
I should not defend myself so readily.

Thank you for your service to the Church!
 
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Pup7 said:
None of this was sprung on the parents. They knew in advance.
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Which was fine. Then some parents decided to opt out. Which was fine. And that’s where the matter should have ended as far as the OP is concerned.

Yet the OP shows up on this forum and asks for advice how to “battle this line of thinking”. Which is very, very far from fine. Her job as a catechist does not include “battling” anything.

I’ve been lurking here for years, but it was that one word that convinced me to sign up and post a reply. A catechist who thinks she is entitled to do “battle” should consider either working solely with adults or finding another way to serve the Church until she is clear on the very limited role she has to play in the education of other people’s children.
 
You are reading way too far into what she said. Good heavens. WAY too far.
 
I don’t think so. In all of her posts, she appears to have a severely aggrandized conception of her role. She says she has a problem with these parents, when she certainly shouldn’t. Any problems associated with these opt outs are not hers at all, but of those far above her pay-grade. If she has a “problem”, it’s solely because she has chosen to make it a problem. Bad move.
 
My goodness why are you continuing to try to denigrate the work that catechists do?
 
She may have been bothered by the situation, but didn’t she defer to her bishop for guidance? Wasn’t that the appropriate course to take?
 
I_trust said:
My goodness why are you continuing to try to denigrate the work that catechists do?
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That’s a good question.

There’s an agenda here. Not sure what it is, but there’s an agenda. But why? And with a perfect stranger?
 
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I_trust said:
catechists get less respect than Rodney Dangerfield.
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If you want to be respected as a catechist, read bquinnann’s posts in this thread and follow her lead. Her approach to the job is beyond reproach. I would love to meet her and take her fishing with me and my boys. She’s worth her wait in gold.
I_trust said:
try to denigrate the work that catechists do
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I’ve done no such thing. I’ve done the job myself specifically because I thought it was worth doing.
mrsdizzyd said:
Wasn’t that the appropriate course to take?
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No problem so far. It’s her conviction to “battle this way of thinking” after the matter was out of her hands that sends up a big red flag for me. Something is seriously not right with that. That and her comment about the bishop “backing her up”. What???
Pup7 said:
There’s an agenda here.
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Yes there is, and it’s simply to get the message across “Don’t go where you haven’t been invited”. Especially with other people’s children. Something that the OP, and several others on this thread, seem to have a problem getting their heads around.
 
AndrewAxland said:
Yes there is, and it’s simply to get the message across “Don’t go where you haven’t been invited”. Especially with other people’s children. Something that the OP, and several others on this thread, seem to have a problem getting their heads around
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I would think that by enrolling your children in Catechism classes you have invited the Church to instruct your children.
 
You are simply just wrong.
I have done none of what you accuse me of.
The “battle” I am talking about is the one where adults who want their children Sacramentalzed but not catechised.
I have no problem with parents who want to teach this subject themselves. My issue is, they don’t want the subject taught at all.
 
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AndrewAxland said:
Yes there is, and it’s simply to get the message across “Don’t go where you haven’t been invited”. Especially with other people’s children. Something that the OP, and several others on this thread, seem to have a problem getting their heads around.
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You’ve done that. She hasn’t gone where she hasn’t been invited, she’s attempted to do her job. None of us were there, so we can’t say too much else except for what she’s told us:
  • we know the parents were advised in advance
  • we know the parish and the bishop agreed with the program - in fact, the clergy wrote the thing
  • we - well, a majority of us - know that this was about teachings of the Church from the CCC, not “below the belt” issues or the mechanics of sexual education/anatomy and physiology that are outside the foray of the Church
  • we know that there are children there in irregular situations
  • we know the OP has come here looking for advice
With that said, I doubt folks expect to have their intents qualified as sinister or underhanded. None of us were there, and it’s difficult sometimes for the meaning of language to come across via the wonders of the World Wide Web.

There’s nothing wrong with what she’s said or how she’s said it. She was clearly “invited” - she was entrusted by her parish to conduct faith formation/confirmation classes, and the parents dutifully signed their kids up. She didn’t go out to the pews and coerce people to go to class. They were brought to her, the bishop gave her a job, she is stressed as to how she may get that job done - likely as much out of concern for the proper catechesis of the children as for how she’s going to fulfill her obligation to the parish and the diocese. The parents were advised of what would be taught, and they have spoken. Now it’s up to her to deal with what I’m sure she views as fallout and disappointment, and she came here for help. No ulterior motives, no underhanded schemes. That the wording wasn’t up to the speed of some is neither here nor there, really, as that’s not the issue. The issue is - how to help the OP, and I think she’s gotten some things she can use or maybe at least gotten a start.

I think it’s time to start letting some of this go.
 
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@AndrewAxland, you and your attitude sir, are why it is so difficult to find and retain good Catechists.
I know my place, and all of what I have relayed here are things my priest, the DRE and the diocese have been dealing with this year and almost every year.
Our system of Catechesis needs help. I am part of a committee in my diocese looking at best practices and trying to find out what works and what doesn’t.
I never advocated circumventing the parents or usurping their roll. In fact that was why I used the word “battle”. Parents want their kids to get their Sacraments, but do not want to have to do anything- no Mass attendance, no homework, no child/parent discussions of faith, just check the box and let us move onto more important things. This is not a good attitude, and is very detrimental not only to the kids and their faith, but for the Church as a whole. The last thing we need is another generation of Catholics who don’t know, understand or practice their faith.
I don’t teach because I want power or any of the other nefarious reasons you have ascribed to me. I teach because I love my faith and my priest needs good, faithful , people to fill those rolls,and has asked me to be one of them. Obviously he has a much higher opinion of me.
 
I’m going to guess that your bishop was appointed by Pope Benedict XVI. Not that it necessarily matters to what I have to add, but it could in a way.

If the Church is going to teach sexual morality, then it should include its own recent history of sexual misconduct in the curriculum, and how that misconduct has shaped the current environment of sexuality among Catholics today.

I am not surprised that 1/3 of your class has opted out of this educational opportunity. I would too.

And I also opt out of the educational opportunities that are offered my children who are in elementary grades which purports to teach things like “touching safety”. None of the material is available for me to review before hand, so, no thanks.

The Church has a lot penance left to do not only for the sexual abuse scandals, but also for not keeping up with the times. The latter being much more of a nuanced problem which was made exponentially worse by the former. Both problems actually still exist as evidence by this thread and ongoing accusations of abuse cover ups.

Good luck my friend.
 
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resolute said:
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goout:
If they are not willing to think with the Church, why would they even want confirmation?
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See that’s what I was wondering. Why would parents who aren’t practicing Catholics and faithful to the Magisterium want their children to be confirmed in the first place? Perhaps we need better adult catechesis so that poorly formed or misinformed parents can better pass on the truths of the Church to their children where sexuality is concerned.
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It’s been my contention for several years now that our priority for the next several years should be teaching the parents, rather than teaching the kids. It’s hard to undo what parents have done for 10-12 years by the time you get them in Confirmation preparation.
 
Phemie said:
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resolute:
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goout:
If they are not willing to think with the Church, why would they even want confirmation?
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See that’s what I was wondering. Why would parents who aren’t practicing Catholics and faithful to the Magisterium want their children to be confirmed in the first place? Perhaps we need better adult catechesis so that poorly formed or misinformed parents can better pass on the truths of the Church to their children where sexuality is concerned.
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It’s been my contention for several years now that our priority for the next several years should be teaching the parents, rather than teaching the kids. It’s hard to undo what parents have done for 10-12 years by the time you get them in Confirmation preparation.
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Yes, Having the right to educate a child doesn’t mean you’re competent to do it well
 
I can understand how parents who are in irregular moral situations might have concerns about how these are presented to their children. Even when I was being taught by means of the Baltimore Catechism, one of the questions troubled me because it said that the Church disapproved of mixed marriages. I knew that my dad was not a Catholic, so that was a mixed marriage. I asked my parents about it and they explained that they had gotten approval for their marriage and been married by a priest. I was relieved and reassured. Individual cases especially involving particular students or their parents was not something that we would ever have discussed in class. It would simply not be done.

But what I can’t understand is this: Parents who never bring their children to Mass, or bring them to Mass only twice a year, and never teach them anything about the Catholic Faith, but still want them to receive communion and be Confirmed. They are doing their kids a disservice. Do they instruct them to confess missing Mass repeatedly? Of course, it’s not the children’s fault; they can’t get themselves to Mass if they can’t drive. But they set the kids up for repeated violations of morality.

I suspect that perhaps some parents thought that the Church would change its teaching on aspects of sexual morality. Maybe they are waiting for doctrines to change. But they won’t, because they can’t. The Church can and must and will stand firm on all aspects of its teaching of faith and morals. It will not succumb to moral relativism.

If parents are the primary teachers of their children they must also answer for failure to teach.
 
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If this won’t drive the families to leave, something else will. Their branches aren’t producing fruit if they’re actively disagreeing with Church teaching. We shouldn’t be settling for mediocre Catholics anymore. Either they learn, or they leave. A chain is only as strong as the weakest link.
 
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