Sexual past

[on_the_hill]

I don’t really know if my spouse ever forgave me for my previous sexual experience, but I was honest with him and told him from the beginning and he was willing to accept and move on, but it has really been a boulder hanging over my head throughout our marriage. I have already told him I can forgive him for his adultery, his lies about it and the manipulation he used on me to get me to believe problems in our marriage was my fault, while he was having an affair; however, he states having sex was wrong, he does not seem remorseful and is not repentant of actually beginning an emotional relationship with this other woman. And I guess I was not asking in a which is a bigger sin way, just in general. He completely used and betrayed my trust and made this mistake after taking vows, while I made mine before I was catholic, or even knew my husband. Don’t get me wrong, I still love him, but he apparently does not “feel” the same.

It seems like your husband is jealous and resents the fact that you experienced things he hadn’t, and it very likely shakes his self-confidence.

 

[MJJean]

It seems like your husband is jealous and resents the fact that you experienced things he hadn’t, and it very likely shakes his self-confidence.

Or he’s using her past as a way to rationalize his present behavior.

He was ok with her past long enough to date, marry, produce 2 children and impregnate her with a 3rd, then all of a sudden it’s not ok? Right around the time he began an emotional and physical affair with another woman? Seems like he is just using her past so that he can blame her for his present weakness and lack of commitment.

 

[Luvz2travel]

It seems to go either way pretty often. Some guys are thrilled by a challenge and think they can put in some creepy effort or lay down a few good lines and the girl will give up the prize.

Others hear “virgin” after age 15 and decide it’s not worth the effort, the sex would probably suck due to inexperience, they aren’t likely to get anywhere, and move on to greener pastures.

Women are just as guilty, btw. I know more than one woman that wouldn’t date a virgin if her life depended on it. I know a couple that think it would be awesome to be the first. None of my friends and family are practicing Catholics and have a secular view, though.

Guys don’t want to waste time if they feel they won’t get what they want. Even an ex who claimed to be living a good life was overly obssessed with what he shouldn’t be. The kicker is they all seem to end up happy anyway. The ex ended up marrying his ex before me who dumped him. She can have him he was a jerk and treated me and other ladies pretty bad. I know women are just as guilty of treating guys bad but honestly it’s been ages since I met a decent guy. The last one who seemed ok if a bit reserved told me he had bipolor and disappeared. Probably saved me trouble.

 

[joshvanrad]

Yes.

 

[chevalier]

My husband was my first and only. If you have a sexual past do you regret it? My friends often tell me I “missed out” on sleeping with other men.

Your friends are guided by what they know and understand, but they are ultimately wrong. You’d miss out on being with your husband as your first and only if you had slept with other men before.

 

[EasterJoy]

It seems like your husband is jealous and resents the fact that you experienced things he hadn’t, and it very likely shakes his self-confidence.

Or he’s using her past as a way to rationalize his present behavior.

He was ok with her past long enough to date, marry, produce 2 children and impregnate her with a 3rd, then all of a sudden it’s not ok? Right around the time he began an emotional and physical affair with another woman? Seems like he is just using her past so that he can blame her for his present weakness and lack of commitment.

I’m with MJJean…he’s decided to stray, and he’s trying to justify himself. He could be jealous and resentful–a little late to go there, isn’t it, Jack?–but he’s certainly not out with another woman in order to bolster his confidence with his wife. I’m not saying he’s not feeding himself that prattle, but in the light of reality that is utter nonsense. That holds no water at all.

 

[Demetra2]

You need new friends if they had the nerve to say that to you. They have no idea what a blessing it is to be the first and only together with your spouse. You haven’t missed a thing. Your friends on the other hand may have a quietly lingering STD.