Sexual Relations and Birth Control

[newbetx]

I’m personally struggling very deeply with this one.

…

I still cant accept the idea that these girls shouldnt have access to birth control. I still cant get my head around any idea that it would be God’s blessing on these kids to get pregnant if you knew the squalid lifestyle they lived.

I have a lot of work to do within myself.

Don’t worry, Ag_not. It’s a long journey. So much to learn, consider and change.

Here is a book on the subject of sex and chastity that may help you and some of those girls you speak about. I found it extremely usefull in understanding my weeknesses and the value of virtue for my kids.

 

[Hajnalcsillag]

It also seems that, for protestants, sexual relations outside of marriage is an unmitigated right and there seem to be no restrictions at all.

Oh, come on. Here’s how I see it (as someone who spent the first 19 years of his life Catholic, and the next few years less than 19 non-Catholic).

Both the Catholic church and various Protestant ones are full of people that have sex outside of marriage. The difference is that the Protestants have fewer kids and a lot more fun.

 

[Joseph_L_Varga]

Ag not, I prayed and will pray more for the success of your work (ministry) with these girls from now on. They are obviously in grave danger and perhaps there is no one else to defend them. There is AIDS and more to worry about. Those guys clearly won’t care about infecting the girls with HIV/HPV/herpes/chlamydia etc, or abusing them physically and emotionally. HPV and herpes are transmitted even when condoms are used; HPV (human papilloma virus) can cause cervical cancer. Chlamydia often goes undetected and causes infertility in women. Abortion increases the incidence of breast cancer. Besides, these girls are simply not safe with “friends” who gang-rape and abuse them in other ways. They need to stay alone and abstinent, or get married to REAL MEN, who will respect them and truly love them, with a sacrificial love.

May God guide your actions and protect both your clients and yourself in this difficult and dangerous work! May our Blessed Mother cover you all with her mantle, make you safe, and shower you with many graces! Amen!

 

[Hajnalcsillag]

This thread needs a little Monty Python. (Warning: not safe for children or the workplace)

youtube.com/watch?v=r-L3JMk7C1A

Why? Because…every sperm is sacred!

 

[AlegreFe]

Response to the responses to question #1.

Is it possible to be “free from worry” while thinking, “If I finish up inside of my wife, am I bringing a child into the world that we cannot afford to raise?”

“Abstain” … have you heard of it? If you would be that worried then that is the alternative instead of using anything artificial that would kill the possibility of a new beautiful life.

Many Catholics believe that sacrifice is a huge part of marriage. They leave it up to God if He wants them to have children & how many if any at all. If it is up to God and He wants a couple to have children and the couple are open to life, don’t you think that God will provide no matter what?

If you “can’t afford” to have children then could it be possible that you love material things more than you would love children that you have brought into this world with your wife by the grace of God?

If everyone waited to have children until they “could afford” it, they would be waiting for a very long time, and possibly even never have kids.

The Catholic Church is not against Natural Family Planning but only under severe circumstances. Depending on what you mean when you say you cannot afford to have kids right now could be questionable and possibly not a good enough reason. I have no idea of your circumstances so you would have to judge on that for yourself. But if you would rather have two vehicles one being an SUV of the same year, a large flat screen HD TV with stereo surround sound, the best furniture in your house, the best clothes,… etc… then to have children, well… think about it.

If you seek God’s will first, then you have no need to worry because God will provide for children that He wanted to be in this world. Have faith and trust in the Lord.

Do Not Be Anxious - Mt 6:25-34
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

 

[AlegreFe]

Question one:

Yeah, it sure does make you feel close to your hubby when you are worried “did I take my pill, what about yesterday, I was so busy - but, I am sure it will be okay. Hang on a minute hubby, let me go put in this big ole huge diaphram, oh wait, we are out of spermacide jelly will you run to the store and by some so we can be intimate? Wait, what was that, did the condom slip off, it feels funny - hang on a second, lets get another”

Artificial things make romance so much more romantic, don’t cha think?

Yes, very romantic and intimate, not to mention “free from worry.”

 

[AlegreFe]

I’ve been actively involved in positively encouraging young girls to go on the pill to prevent unwanted pregnancies. …
…
It always seemed the most sensible thing to get these girls on the pill. They were sexually active and were going to stay sexually active and it made no sense these kids bringing kids into the world when they were kids themselves. They couldnt look after themselves never mind a child.

Abstain, abstain, abstain!!!

We are all called to chastity.

I still cant accept the idea that these girls shouldnt have access to birth control.

Those girls should not be using birth control because they should not be engaging in sex at all.

I still cant get my head around any idea that it would be God’s blessing on these kids to get pregnant if you knew the squalid lifestyle they lived.

Why would you think that it would be God’s will that these girls get pregnant? God’s will for those girls is to NOT have sex. They are not married so they should not be having sex. The marital act is sacred between a man and his wife. Teenagers and people who are not married should not be having sex. It is a huge lie if two people who are not married have sex.

If those girls do get pregnant because of the lie that they are living, then they should not kill a life that God created. Abortion is an evil act.

I have a lot of work to do within myself.

This is your first mistake. Let God do the work within yourself. Only He can do it. Without God you can do nothing. Allow God’s grace to enfuse your soul. You are in my prayers.

Here is a great website that you can show to those girls and for you to read for yourself also.

Pure Love Club

 

[hasikelee]

I’m personally struggling very deeply with this one.

I’ve been actively involved in positively encouraging young girls to go on the pill to prevent unwanted pregnancies. These same girls may have had abortions that I supported them through previously, because of lack of knowledge about their bodies or they were just drunk/high/whatever and when sexual intercourse took place they couldnt have cared less. I also worked with young girls that were gang banged as part of some initiation or raped by their boyfriends or strangers.

It always seemed the most sensible thing to get these girls on the pill. They were sexually active and were going to stay sexually active and it made no sense these kids bringing kids into the world when they were kids themselves. They couldnt look after themselves never mind a child.

I still cant accept the idea that these girls shouldnt have access to birth control. I still cant get my head around any idea that it would be God’s blessing on these kids to get pregnant if you knew the squalid lifestyle they lived.

I have a lot of work to do within myself.

I admire your ability to talk about your struggle with this issue, and to also share the hard aspects of life.

Have you thought about these things in another light? When I read your post, I felt saddened.

So a woman is raped by a group of men. That’s outrageously horrific. What would you want to do if you found out about this?

Prescribe birth control?

I don’t understand? The woman was horrifically abused and mistreated. She is at risk to suffer from post traumatic stress disorder, sexually transmitted diseases, physical injuries, mental depression, substance abuse, etc.

So let’s give her birth control?

Now she has to deal with the risks and disadvantages of birth control. Now she has to pay for it, or get hooked up to an organization/government program for them (aka us through taxes) to pay for it. Now she has to take a cocktail of synthetic hormones every day of her life. She has to increase her risk of cancer, stroke, blood clots, heart attack, infertility, early-abortion, etc.

Wow, how is that at all going in the right direction? That’s terrible!

We are like cows for the slaughter. Moooo.

 

[Hajnalcsillag]

Quick question. An old friend of mine suffers from extremely heavy bleeding during her period. The average woman loses between 1/8 and 1/4 pint of blood during her period; this friend is closer to a full pint if not more.

In order to control it better, she’s been on birth control since around age 17. In the absence of it, she would be at extremely high risk of an anemic condition, to say nothing of chronic iron deficiency and a whole host of other issues.

What is the Catholic teaching on this?

 

[strngrnrth]

Quick question. An old friend of mine suffers from extremely heavy bleeding during her period. The average woman loses between 1/8 and 1/4 pint of blood during her period; this friend is closer to a full pint if not more.

In order to control it better, she’s been on birth control since around age 17. In the absence of it, she would be at extremely high risk of an anemic condition, to say nothing of chronic iron deficiency and a whole host of other issues.

What is the Catholic teaching on this?

OK under double-effect, I’m pretty sure. Is she married? There’s a thread like this somewhere. I think it’s in Moral Theology or Family Life.

 

[Hajnalcsillag]

OK under double-effect, I’m pretty sure. Is she married? There’s a thread like this somewhere. I think it’s in Moral Theology or Family Life.

Not married, at least the last time I talked to her.

 

[Pixie_Dust]

Quick question. An old friend of mine suffers from extremely heavy bleeding during her period. The average woman loses between 1/8 and 1/4 pint of blood during her period; this friend is closer to a full pint if not more.

In order to control it better, she’s been on birth control since around age 17. In the absence of it, she would be at extremely high risk of an anemic condition, to say nothing of chronic iron deficiency and a whole host of other issues.

What is the Catholic teaching on this?

If the primary reason for her taking the medication is NOT to prevent pregnancy, but to treat an actual malady such as this, it’s acceptable for a Catholic to take the “Pill.” It seems that I’ve heard of alternatives to artificial hormones to treat this, but for most doctors it’s just easier to write a scrip for the pill.

 

[Ruthie]

Haj,
It is ok to use “the pill” for various medical reasons. Some of them require further scrutiny when one marries. For instance, is avoiding acne worth depriving God of the baby He may want to bring into the world?

I believe, but am not sure, that there are ways of preventing heavy periods that do not render one sterile. Ask here.​

Ag_not, ask Mary to intercede for you. She convinced me!

What I learned is that these babies, no matter how they were conceived, are God’s. They are His to love. Using ABC takes God out of the picture.

PM me for more. I made it here from there, and I’ll be glad to help you on your journey.

God bless you,

Ruthie

 

[Joseph_L_Varga]

“In order to control it better, she’s been on birth control”

If she is not married and abstinent, I wouldn’t even call it birth control - it is a medication for heavy bleeding. Still, I would send her to get a second opinion regarding treatment alternatives from another gynecologist - and specifically from one who is pro-life. Here in the Florida Catholic newspaper there was an interview with an obgyn who said she has been able to replace birth-control type medicines with other, less risky alternatives in every case. I guess an obgyn with pro-life stance is just more committed to do the work and find out alternatives in her daily practice with women who suffer from various conditions but reject the Pill for moral reasons; such obgyn is also less likely to downplay the known risks of the Pill - thrombosis, stroke, cancer, etc. I know there is a national organization of pro-life gynecologists - but I don’t know their contact info. I think it wouldn’t hurt to get a second opinion from them - the mainstream culture so values the “benefit” of preventing pregnancy that it ignores the “cost” of this hormone medication - which is side-effects that you have to put up with daily, and risk of serious, potentially life-threatening conditions caused by the treatment.