Sexually explicit discussion on a Catholic forum

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lizaanne

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What do you think about it? Is it really that helpful? Or just voyeuristic discussion disguised as “help”?

Ok - I’m a prude, I’ll admit it. But I just don’t understand why someone, especially a Catholic who is supposed to hold the marriage act as sacred and sacramental, would want to share the most intimate and personal sexual practices of their marriage on the Internet for everyone in the world to see?

Is it possible to discuss such topics as we see here without being explicit? Do we really even need to talk about them? What in the world did people do before the Internet?

I’m sorry, but I’m just flabbergasted and shocked at some of the discussion I see in some of the threads here. I’ve learned quickly which discussions to just stay out of. But it does bring up the question - are we providing an occasion for sin by supplying such explicit discussions? Is that possibility outweighed by any chance of value?

I honestly don’t know the answer. So - what do you all think?

~Liza
 
Sorry…but if they where (that) explicit the Mod’s would not allow it.
Are they going into details, showing pics etc.? Or speaking in general terms?
Also perhaps folks share what they share here on an annonymous forum for that reason they are annoymous and perhaps this is easier for them then going to a doctor or whatever for advice/insight or whatever.
 
I’ve thought the same thing.

When I first found this forum, I didn’t stay long after seeing some of these topics.

Some do go too far, in my opinion.

I thought I was the only prude.
 
lizaanne said:
  • are we providing an occasion for sin by supplying such explicit discussions?
Is that possibility outweighed by any chance of value?

~Liza
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In truth, you ask the unanswerable question.

“Has a certain thread provided an avenue for someone to sin?”

Ultimateluy, only Jesus knows.

Also, I think your question would be best answered by one of the moderators … and not us.
 
lizaanne said:
What do you think about it? Is it really that helpful? Or just voyeuristic discussion disguised as “help”?

Ok - I’m a prude, I’ll admit it. But I just don’t understand why someone, especially a Catholic who is supposed to hold the marriage act as sacred and sacramental, would want to share the most intimate and personal sexual practices of their marriage on the Internet for everyone in the world to see?
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Yes, but …need to distinguish between tantalizing and respectful. Such frank and explicit (not descriptively graphic) discussion amongst Catholics is benefical to dispell the darkness of immorality and sin and reclaim that which rightfully belongs to God.
Is it possible to discuss such topics as we see here without being explicit? Do we really even need to talk about them? What in the world did people do before the Internet?
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Like talking in code or silly language?
I’m sorry, but I’m just flabbergasted and shocked at some of the discussion I see in some of the threads here. I’ve learned quickly which discussions to just stay out of. But it does bring up the question - are we providing an occasion for sin by supplying such explicit discussions? Is that possibility outweighed by any chance of value?

I honestly don’t know the answer. So - what do you all think?

~Liza
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Unfortunately the “this world” media and people are talking alot of trash and lies about our God given sexuality and sexual desires. How are are faithful catholics to combat this darkness unless the truth is proclaimed and dicussed to the detail needed. The devil loves shadows and secrecy and isolation and misinformation. Those who would find this forum discussion an occassion for sin are likewise finding alot of other avenues for occasion for sin by virtue of their immaturity and lacking in virtue of chastity. What better way to educate and convict (whatever the case) than a well moderated Catholic forum that tackles those tough issues of sexuality …but I see can your point and wish our society was more proper and prudish for sure.
 
For pete’s sake! If someone thinks this forum is “sexually explicit” then maybe the problem isn’t the forum - but rather the “prudish” mindset of those who see it that way!

Perhaps reading “Theology of the Body” would be a good place to start for those who squirm when reading topics on sexual matters. This might help put things in the proper moral and Catholic perspective.

There is so much distortion of sexuality in this world that it is no surprise there are many who come here with their struggles and questions! Let this forum remain a haven and ministry for those seeking guidance and answers! I find this forum to be refreshing and properly moderated. 👍
 
I think the OP makes a salient point. My opinion is that we, as a society, have generally become numbed from the constant barrage of sexually loaded content, that we don’t even notice it anymore. Has anyone read the titles on the women’s magazines at the supermarket checkstand lately, not to mention the ridiculous headlines to the tabloids! Why, they make me blush and I don’t like my children being exposed to that garbage.

Yes, I agree, there are some threads here that invite voyeurism. I’ve been surprised with that aspect of these forums, which otherwise seem much more conservative than I am in many ways. I do think it’s distastful and lacking in class. I also suspect that some of these posters are trolling for responses, just my personal opinion for what it’s worth.
 
We clearly have mixed opinions on this, which is what I expected. Again, I don’t have the answer. I agree that healthy discussion is a good thing and promotes understanding and dispells error and mystique. But I still don’t have much of a warm fuzzy with regard to some of the discussion, and some of the subject titles are just asking for trolls and are quite shocking. Don’t ask me for examples, because I do not want to make those who started the discussions feel selected out for scrutiny - that is not my point.

I’m glad to see though that I’m not the only one who feels this way. I’m sure there are others out there who feel the same but keep silent.

And this discussion is in no way intended to complain about the mods here. It’s not a complaint, it’s more of a comment/opinion/concern that I have. That’s all.

~Liza
 
I believe that it is okay to discuss the moral aspects of sexuality because there is so much confusion in this crazy world.

But, I do not think that personal details should be shared. I don’t think it is okay to report on personal habits or practices.

And, truthfully, while questions seeking understanding don’t bother me, I hate it when people actually advocate for disobedience on clear moral teachings.

For example, “Why does the Church teach that oral sex is wrong?” is fine.

But, "The Church has no right to teach that oral sex is wrong.’ shouldn’t be allowed.

The point is to clear up confusion, not create more!
 
leonie said:
I believe that it is okay to discuss the moral aspects of sexuality because there is so much confusion in this crazy world.

But, I do not think that personal details should be shared. I don’t think it is okay to report on personal habits or practices.

And, truthfully, while questions seeking understanding don’t bother me, I hate it when people actually advocate for disobedience on clear moral teachings.

For example, “Why does the Church teach that oral sex is wrong?” is fine.

But, "The Church has no right to teach that oral sex is wrong.’ shouldn’t be allowed.

The point is to clear up confusion, not create more!
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This forum’s purpose is not intended to “preach to the choir” or for the “choir” members only.
You will see non-Catholics come and read and post here as well as faithful Catholics.
You will see those who identify themselves as Catholics yet openly reject some of the truth(s).

There will always be those who have a narrow comfort zone when it comes to anything that falls outside of their own personal belief system. That includes the topic of sex.
Some even suffer from scrupulosity.

The moderators here do a marvelous job of screening threads and posts. On all subjects. One has to only read “Ask An Apologist” to see where they are coming from and how orthodox they are. 👍
 
WenckebachCath said:
I think the OP makes a salient point. My opinion is that we, as a society, have generally become numbed from the constant barrage of sexually loaded content, that we don’t even notice it anymore.
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I think this barrage numbs many to the point where they truly can’t discern right from wrong so they turn to an annonymous forum to ask questions. While some trolls may exist on this forum, (and heaven-knows who else might read all this stuff for voyeurism,) I believe that some ask in all sincerity. Society bombards us with immoral images and activies, yet a little something tugs at the conscience. People may wonder if they’re just being scrupulous when in fact the Holy Spirit is trying to wake them up.

Yet I’ll admit there are some threads that I avoid or blush to read. I opened and responded to one such thread recently because I recognized the “most recent poster” and I didn’t know what kind of stuff might be passing for Catholic. These type of threads come to my mind whenever I hear people push NFP–some of the stuff done during fertile times is most certainly not chaste!
 
For the record and for whatever it’s worth. I agree with Liza. The mods are good at detecting the slightest offense when it comes to calling into question a foolish or thoughtless opinion but allow this prurient stuff to keep being posted. I disagree with the mods for allowing such stuff.

CDL
 
lizaanne said:
What do you think about it? Is it really that helpful? Or just voyeuristic discussion disguised as “help”?
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Wel, the Internet has made voyeurs of us all. No boundaries.

On the other hand, there is so much downright dumbness in today’s supposedly free and open society about matters of sexual behavior, that maybe it is a good thing to have these matters discussed in an orthodox Catholic forum.

I am sometimes astonished at the lack of good sense displayed by some in matters of personal morality. Yet, as Grandma might have said, but seldom did, ‘maybe they just don’t know any better.’ Consequently, I’m thinking that in the end, it’s good to have a place like this where people can bring up these matters without having either Grandma or me blow their ears off or shame them to death.
 
setter said:
…need to distinguish between tantalizing and respectful. Such frank and explicit (not descriptively graphic) discussion amongst Catholics is benefical to dispell the darkness of immorality and sin and reclaim that which rightfully belongs to God.

…Unfortunately the “this world” media and people are talking alot of trash and lies about our God given sexuality and sexual desires. How are are faithful catholics to combat this darkness unless the truth is proclaimed and dicussed to the detail needed. The devil loves shadows and secrecy and isolation and misinformation. Those who would find this forum discussion an occassion for sin are likewise finding alot of other avenues for occasion for sin by virtue of their immaturity and lacking in virtue of chastity.
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Awesome post. I agree 100% and couldn’t have said it better myself.
 
There’s so much wrong interpretation what what sex is all about in the secular world. If sex and marriage is a sacred thing, what better place to dispell such wrong interpretations than on a Catholic site and under the guidance of legit moderators? If we discontinue this process as is now perfectly moderated, will the secular world stop spreading the wrong interpretations?

I’m also unconfortable but are we going to tell these people to go wash their linens in another site? Of course trolls will always be aroound whatever we do.
 
Liza
I am very understanding of your view however if the church has specific teaching regarding the bedroom “practices” then how can the laity know unless they are taught? I do wish some posters would choose their words more carefully, words as - practice, embrace, stimulation by the ______ form- communicate well enough. Some of the words used are a bit rough
 
Texas_Roofer said:
Liza
I am very understanding of your view however if the church has specific teaching regarding the bedroom “practices” then how can the laity know unless they are taught? I do wish some posters would choose their words more carefully, words as - practice, embrace, stimulation by the ______ form- communicate well enough. Some of the words used are a bit rough
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Thank you for your response - and I do tend to agree with all of your points here. I guess my frustration is that if the "church has specific teaching regarding the bedroom “practices” ", then I sure do wish they would tell us about it!! I have not seen any document that states what a married couple can and can not do within the confines of their marriage bed, *to the level of granularity that is expected in the discussions here. *I think that if such a thing were available then people would not have to come to the Internet for such discussion, and that’s what bothers me. I don’t have a problem with a husband and wife having these discussions, in fact I think they should, it’s the public display of such intimacy that makes me uncomfortable.

Teaching the laity through Internet message boards on such a delicate topic is not an acceptable method of education, in my opinion.

~Liza
 
Get ahold of Christopher West’s “Theology of the Body for Beginners”.

Or if you feel more adventurous, read John Paul II’s “Theology of the Body” in its entirety. It’s very heavy reading, and Christopher West does a great job of breaking it down.

In it you’ll find alot of the moral perimeters of marital sexual relations, but more so you’ll find the beauty in the marital act in somewhat explicit terms, but of course since the Holy Father compiled the teachings, it’s done very tastefully, yet to the point.

Give these teachings a couple of generations to sink in, and we’ll have exactly the type of directives that we as Catholics are yearning for when it comes "to the bedroom . . . . "
 
This is just my personal opinion, but I think that explicit discussions about sex should be put into a special forum that can only be accessed by members (currently, the forums are accessible to be read by anyone without a password), and if possible, only by members who are over the age of 16.

There are certain things that even Internet-savvy 9 year olds don’t need to know, just yet, and I believe that we do have a duty to do whatever we can to help preserve their innocence.

If they pretend to be over the age of 16, that’s their look-out of course, since at least they know they’re getting into something that they shouldn’t.

My concern is for those 9 year olds who accidentally stumble across something that children of that age just don’t need or even want to know - they have an in-built “icky” response that helps to protect them, and God put it there for a reason. Let’s do our part to help them not to be made to feel “icky” by accident.
 
jmcrae said:
This is just my personal opinion, but I think that explicit discussions about sex should be put into a special forum that can only be accessed by members (currently, the forums are accessible to be read by anyone without a password), and if possible, only by members who are over the age of 16.
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I agree with this. It seems that the Moral Theology forum has an awful lot of sexual ethics discussions on it which can become very frank, and at some times a little too graphic. I’d support creating a new members-only forum for “Sexual Ethics” or “Theology of the Body”.

I’m preparing for marriage and find some topics to be helpful, especially a lot of info about NFP that I’ve found on these forums. You can’t find this kind of info anywhere else on the web, it seems. Even other topics are helpful–at least when they’re talked about and debated over in a theoretical sense. Free discussion of certain aspects of sexuality is a good idea, but when it gets to be specific, or a sharing of personal preferences/experiences, it is more often than not bordering on inappropriate.

Just my two cents!
 
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