Its called forgiving - forgiving others is how those wounds are healed. Lots of people think forgiving is about the other person and can never do it. But its really about healing yourself. It doesn’t even matter what that other person thinks. Forgiveness will take that entire weight off your shoulder if you do it. If you say the Lords prayer its something that you promise God the Father that you are going to do. Shouldn’t say the prayer if your not prepared to do it.
I don’t understand how these two questions are tied together.
Ok. I don’t share the same temperament as you do clearly.
How do you depersonalize offenses?
Especially when I was younger, most times I wouldn’t even know that someone was trying to offend me.
So my reaction to them would always be honest, and given without an attitude; that was something they didn’t expect, so that would be the end of it.Shame is fear due to past mistakes and is part of nature. This comes from within the person, not from without (outside the person).
“O wicked man, thou shalt surely die: if thou dost not speak to warn the wicked man from his way” (Ez 33:8) Fr. Wade Menezes says this should be done rarely (meaning once if you never see the person again, or if you are with them regularly - not to nag), with humility, and charitably.
Frequent confession. For St. Philip Neri says this practice is the most effective in order to live habits with humility. Humility of which is the remedy.
There is a difference between shame and shaming. Shaming does come from without. And shame can be an appropriate feeling due to one’s own actions or inaction; but it can be an unhealthy reaction when the shame is due to the sinful, criminal actions of others such as in cases of domestic violence or sexual assault.
They can. Shaming, like other forms of bullying and abuse, may appear to work, particularly on people who are vulnerable and weak. I say “appears to” because once they become older, more mature, or have an ally or advocate (in case the vulnerability is caused by a disability or age) that person will be less likely to be affected by shaming. A person with a strong sense of who they are, who know their worth are less vulnerable (but not invulnerable, since we all have our moments). We should be able to be vulnerable, let our guard down, and not fear that someone will use our faults and failings against us but I can’t recommend that.
