Sharing same bedroom with fiancè

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Coconutsarelife

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Greetings people! Okay so I’m a first time poster, but I would really like some advice on an issue at hand, basically myself and my fiancé are in a long distance relationship and getting married very soon, and I will be visiting him very soon with my sister and basically we will be sharing the same room all together, so my question is that would we be allowed to sleep next to each other? As if others are sleeping with us also (even my sister is sharing the same bad with me) then would it be allowed?.. I have always been told its a no no because of the occasion of sin, but I honestly don’t see how it could be applied here
Many thanks 😊
 
Would this be just one day at a hotel or many days at a house?
 
There’s temptation with your sister right next to you? Only a very depraved creepy couple would “try something” with a relative right there next to them.
 
That doesn’t sound like a good idea. At least for prudence’s sake if not for humility’s.
 
Well, let me be the “fly in the ointment here.” Okay, technically, yes you can sleep next to your fiance’. (I can hear the gnashing of teeth already!😆) It is not a sin to sleep in proximity to another human being. What you cannot do is engage in any sexually oriented activity. You and another poster mentioned the term, “Occasion of sin”. That’s the term. A VERY near occasion of sin. Yea, I have to agree, you are putting yourself in a tempting position, and I have to agree with the one who said engaging in sex with your sister in the same bed would be beyond creepy.

There is a truth, “You don’t need a parachute to skydive; you need a parachute to skydive twice.” Would you jump out of a plane without a chute to see if you might survive to skydive again. Would you like to snuggle up next to your boyfriend just to see if you (and he) can refrain from any untoward behavior? Pretty risky.

I suggest you take the advice of many of the other posters and find an alternate sleeping arrangement. And here’s hoping that the marriage ceremony is soon so this conundrum disappears. Personally, I don’t believe in long engagements. I think they are morally risky.
Peace.
 
It’s just the night in the hotel before we travel on to stay with the rest of the family, then yes with the family we will be separated, but in the hotel it’s one room. We did the same situation each time I visited, with my sisters or his sisters, we watch a movie, play cards, sleep then travel on the next day, nothing untoward would happen because obviously we are in the room with others…I’m just coming back to my faith and feel a bit uncertain in a few areas, because if we are all together and it does not pose a risk of sin, then would it still be a no no because it causes a familiarity?..like I said I don’t see a problem, but I don’t know if my judgement is just flawed, which is why I’m asking 😁
 
Coconutsarelife said:
…like I said I don’t see a problem, but I don’t know if my judgement is just flawed, which is why I’m asking 😁
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Honestly, given that situation you describe, I really don’t see any harm in it. Honestly with that many sisters I don’t even see the scent of scandal. I am assuming you are all fully clothed in modest dress of course. 😉
 
You have a chaperone who understands your desire not to be sexually active with this person, you’ve done it before without issue, you aren’t growing lax with the precautions you’re taking, and it’s a single night not an extended stay.
 
Coconutsarelife said:
It’s just the night in the hotel before we travel on to stay with the rest of the family, then yes with the family we will be separated, but in the hotel it’s one room. We did the same situation each time I visited, with my sisters or his sisters, we watch a movie, play cards, sleep then travel on the next day, nothing untoward would happen because obviously we are in the room with others…I’m just coming back to my faith and feel a bit uncertain in a few areas, because if we are all together and it does not pose a risk of sin, then would it still be a no no because it causes a familiarity?..like I said I don’t see a problem, but I don’t know if my judgement is just flawed, which is why I’m asking 😁
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Reasons not to:
  1. Voluntary near occasion of sin for yourself.
  2. Giving scandal (bad example) to anyone else.
 
Me and my husband have slept in a room with multiple friends and have never been tempted to engage in intimacy in front of an audience.
 
Sleep next to each other, I missed that part of your original post. No absolutely I would not sleep next to him but depending on circumstances maybe you can sleep in the room for one night while your sister is there. He can sleep on the floor or couch and you and sister in the bed. If you have enough money he can get a separate room to sleep. But you have to weight the circumstances,
 
If you have to sleep in the same room, do not sleep next to each other. Much less in bed. You roll up in your sleeping bag/blankets on one end of the room and your fiance does the same on the opposite side. Your sister gets the bed.

There is absolutely no reason to sleep next to each other in the bed. Zero.
 
To all of those who say it would be near occasion of sin… can you all honestly say that you would engage in intercourse with your partner (whether a spouse or not) when a sibling is mere inches away?
If this is a near occasion of sin for anyone…I have to bluntly say…you’re a bunch of weirdos!!!

😛
 
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So respectable girls sleep together on the bed and the boys on the floor.

But really, even more respectable girls/boys wouldn’t have boys sleep in the same room at all unless there really is no other choice. That you have been put into this position is not reflecting well on your host.

Why do we Catholics get so tied up in knots re common sense matters re sex.
 
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