Sharing same bedroom with fiancè

[Lia]

Wow that is really weird, for you to suggest that your sister to share same bed with you and your fiance. I’m sure there would be no near occasion of sin… but that’s really weird… no one should be sharing a bed with your fiance besides you.

Either you sleep with your sister, and your fiance on the floor or couch (this is the better option)
Or you sleep with your fiance and your sister sleep somewhere else (if you trust yourself with not getting tempted.)

 

[Tis_Bearself]

There is no way something would happen with a sister in the bed. They could just as easily rent a hotel for a night without telling someone and engage in all kinds of sin.

Sin can happen outside hotels as well and I trust this OP because a sister in a bed IS a chaperone in my opinion.

I guess to me it depends on the age of the sister and the overall situation.
Is this sister a 40-year-old mother figure to the OP who is much younger? Or is the OP 22 and her sister is 25 and both of them very attractive women and they’re going to hop into a bed with a man of similar age?
There are lots of smutty stories and jokes about a man in bed with two hot sisters.
Even if the sister is older, it still seems weird to me to have all of them in a bed together.

If they only have one room, it would make perfect sense to me if the man slept in a sleeping bag or on a couch at the other end of the room, and let the two ladies have the bed. But to have all three of them jumping into the same bed makes me first wonder how they will all fit without being mashed up against each other, and then to contemplate the weirdness of being mashed up not only against your fiancee but against her sister as well.

 

[ratio1]

So is it wrong to be together in a deserted beach or park as well?

 

[Ron_Conte]

I there are no sexual acts, and you yourself judge that there is no occasion of sin, then it is morally permissible. I don’t see a problem here, not as the situation is described.

 

[MaryT777]

We think along the same lines. People either make a firm commitment to avoid sexual sin before marriage or not. Yes I completely agree that we should avoid near occasions of sin of course, but seriously a sister in the room? I can’t imagine the OP doing anything inappropriate with a fiance with her sister present in the room.

The fiance sleeping in a sleeping bag seems like a good compromise.

 

[starlady]

If you have to sleep in the same room, do not sleep next to each other. Much less in bed. You roll up in your sleeping bag/blankets on one end of the room and your fiance does the same on the opposite side. Your sister gets the bed.

There is absolutely no reason to sleep next to each other in the bed. Zero.

This is what my husband and I did once when we were engaged.

My now-husband and I went out of town for the wedding of a high school friend of mine. Rather than make the drive back after the reception, we decided to spend the night at a hotel across the street. Trying to be good Catholics, we booked two separate rooms at the fairly reputable hotel chain.

My room ended up being next to the very loud people in the pool/bar area who kept me awake until 2:00 am (despite calling to the front desk to complain at 1:00 am), and then I woke up again about an hour later to find itchy raised welts on various parts of my body. Obviously something with the bed was irritating my skin. I texted my then-fiance and he insisted that I sleep on the couch in his room so that I could actually get some rest. Honestly, at that point, I didn’t care much…I was too concerned about some sort of pest insect getting into my clothes. The extra blanket that I used in his room on the couch didn’t bother my skin at all, and the welts went away by the time I woke up again.

Really, the most scandalous thing about the whole experience is that I was never contacted after lodging a complaint for having had one of the worst nights in a hotel ever. It was not ideal to be placed in that situation, but we’re both practicing Catholics and extremely respectful of the other’s privacy and space as an unmarried couple striving for chastity.

 

[goout]

Greetings people! Okay so I’m a first time poster, but I would really like some advice on an issue at hand, basically myself and my fiancé are in a long distance relationship and getting married very soon, and I will be visiting him very soon with my sister and basically we will be sharing the same room all together, so my question is that would we be allowed to sleep next to each other? As if others are sleeping with us also (even my sister is sharing the same bad with me) then would it be allowed?.. I have always been told its a no no because of the occasion of sin, but I honestly don’t see how it could be applied here
Many thanks

In my experience, it’s a mistake to overestimate the power of your own virtue.

 

[shainski]

In Judaism (as I understand it), they build a wall around certain commands so not to risk accidentally falling. You would not mix poultry and cheese, for example, even though the original command was not to risk cooking an animal in it’s mother’s milk.

Well, in this case, if the sister is a younger unmarried sister, I can see how the wall slowly erodes away. If it were okay for my sister to sleep in the same bed as her fiance, then I may be able to bend the rules a bit more when I am engaged. It doesn’t take too many of these instances to start to believe the restrictions were kind of silly anyway - “because everyone does it”.

While I believe you when you say that there is no chance of any untoward behavior, would you have any concern when your sister tells you a year or two from now that she will be spending the night with her fiance, or boyfriend?

 

[twf]

Yes, arguably there is less occasion of sin if all three stay in the same room than if he gets his own. Much more opportunity for the couple to have privacy.

 

[ratio1]

But wouldn’t the risk of occasion of sin be higher in these situations then the hotel room situation with sister?

 

[kristaok]

If there’s no other option and you can remain pure then go for it, I had to do the same sort of thing when I had no where else to go while I was living with my fiancé whom I’ve now been married to for a few years, we remained pure. _
_

 

[Pup7]

Sleep next to each other, I missed that part of your original post. No absolutely I would not sleep next to him but depending on circumstances maybe you can sleep in the room for one night while your sister is there. He can sleep on the floor or couch and you and sister in the bed. If you have enough money he can get a separate room to sleep. But you have to weight the circumstances,

Another option is a lot of hotels will loan or rent (for about $20 or less) a usually very nice folding cot to be used as another bed in the room.

They’re usually fairly nice, with a thick mattress. Not like a military style or camping cot.

 

[ConfusedLucy]

I think it’s kind of normal for young people. Me and my husband were long distance for a while and student digs don’t tend to come with guest suites. We also have a lot of mutual friends and staying over usually involved us all crashing in the living room in sleeping bags.

 

[SnowRose]

And of course they tend to creak and make noice and would wake up the sister IF our OP couldn’t restrain herself and snuck over during the night.

Most people, however tempted, would restrain themselves while packed into a hotel room, much less a bed, with a family member. I’m not Catholic, so I’m not constrained by the purity notion, but even so I wouldn’t do anything to a bf in OP’s situation. Maybe a kiss or two, but that’s it.

 

[ConfusedLucy]

My husband and I have slept in rooms with friends after getting married and it hasn’t made us any less inhibited.