Sharing same bedroom with fiancè

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What’s to stop her from slipping out of bed once her sister is asleep? One might argue staying at the same hotel isn’t the wisest idea.
 
To all those who just say “no” as a matter of fiat, why? What sin is it? The idea of “near occasion of sin” implies a sin, and is not a sin if the temptation to sin is not increased. I know of no Catholic teaching that would mandate a “no.”
 
pnewton said:
The idea of “near occasion of sin” implies a sin, and is not a sin if the temptation to sin is not increased
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If there was truly no temptation here, the person would not even need to ask the question, as she wouldn’t see any moral issue and wouldn’t feel a need to discuss it.
 
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I always think it’s hilarious where people say that people of the opposite sex shouldn’t sleep together but it’s ok for people of the same sex to. People of the same sex have sex, too.

There is no sin whatsoever. There is a near occasion to sin. If both of you have sufficient strength of will to avoid any sin, it’s all good. If you have concerns you would give into temptation, then don’t.

And the sibling factor is irrelevant. I was sexually abused by my brothers. So the fact that someone is sleeping near siblings of the same sex is no different.
 
AHapka said:
I always think it’s hilarious…
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AH in the end all morality is, for mature adults, a personal responsibility- we all get that.

What is being discussed here is really social norms of respectability for the young and the innocent so they don’t get into compromising situations they cannot back out of - or have their reputation or public sense of self needlessly compromised. Learning is a WIP.

Yes its all fairly superficial, you of all people can see that, but 95% of younger (and older)Catholics don’t.

And Coconutsarelite, the OP, fairly clearly isn’t lesbian or sexually abused with a proclivity for her sister.

Your perspective may be correct, but its come at a cost, lets leave others to come to the same perspective in their own slower but more harmonious ways.
 
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I think this is the first time someone else besides me has talked about scandal and taken it seriously on these Forums.
 
“Bubble, Bubble, Toil and Trouble.” Three adults in the same bed? That in itself is a big annoyance, to say the least. Actually, it is a very bad idea. If you can not afford a hotel, stay home. You know this is incorrect or you wouldn’t be asking.
 
With 3 adults in a bed I’d more worried about waking up tired and cranky and committing an anger based sin. I’m assuming one person will be in a sleeping bag.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
If there was truly no temptation here, the person would not even need to ask the question, as she wouldn’t see any moral issue and wouldn’t feel a need to discuss it.
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That is an interesting conjecture. Perhaps the OP would like to respond to it, after some self-examination.
 
3 in a bed…LOL! But the poster did not mention the age of the sister or if they owned a sleeping bag. I will stick with my original statement. Not a good idea.
 
I completely agree with this. .A potential lapse in self control as a potential risk for a near occasion or occasion of sin for everyone in such a situation does not take into account the individual.

With a sister with you I see no problem. If it was a frequent issue then it might be different but I wouldn’t see a problem with one night of this situation.

Best wishes to you and your fiance.
 
The OP states in post 13 “I’m just coming back to my faith and feel a bit uncertain in a few areas…” There is no way something would happen with a sister in the bed. They could just as easily rent a hotel for a night without telling someone and engage in all kinds of sin.

Sin can happen outside hotels as well and I trust this OP because a sister in a bed IS a chaperone in my opinion.

Catholics sometimes in my opinion assume everyone lacks self control when it comes to sexual matters and I am a cradle Catholic.
 
I did not make an accusation but stand by my statement. I think it is a bad idea.
 
People can commit sexual sin anywhere, and my own thought is simply a sister in a hotel room is a chaperone. I think Catholics should put more trust in the personal assessments of a persons’ own level of commitment to not to commit sexual sin before marriage.

I just think sometimes the Catholic Church makes the assumption that any small near occasion of sin will send people into a sin frenzy. Give some people more credit.

Two sisters and a fiance in one hotel room. I see NO scandal at all in that particular situation even if they are sleeping in the same bed.
 
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Ok Ipersonally see a couple things. First as a person of faith I want to avoid sin, and also the near occasion of sin. This means some level of self awareness. As someone who went through catholic school for fourteen years and is fairly disciplined I would feel fine sleeping in a room with multiple adults and a chaperone. I wouldn’t push it and sleep in the same bed, even though I have no doubts i could “control” myself. I would have the ladies on the bed and the man on the floor across the room, provided your comfortable with all parties being disciplined. Only you know your and your fiancés level of discipline. However if you could afford separate rooms that would be best. If you aren’t sure if this would be a temptation for you then find other arrangements. I’m a guy, I would sleep in the car if there was any risk of problems. Be a bit fun actually. And you could view this as a nice act of discipline preparing for your marriage. Males become 28% more attractive when they stand up for virtue. You also mentioned you are returning to your faith. That’s great! Secondly, a properly formed conscience is important. The sin in my understanding would be sexual activity or any form of lust etc. A scrupulous conscience can also be a problem. I tend to have this. Don’t overthink it, but sin is NO JOKE and can be difficult overcome. If you think there is ANY chance don’t. Be honest with yourself. Some people wouldn’t be in the same state as their fiancé “just in case.” Part of this is social norms. Personally I think that’s a bit far, but it depends on the people. Congrats on your wedding!
PS Sorry for the wall of text
 
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Reminds me of a time long ago when, as a young single guy, married friends of similar age invited me to come with them to a resort holiday (budget as all of us were poor at the time). Unfortunately the room’s advertised 2nd single bed was in the same room as the double bed. That was a bit awkward at first but we were all too tired at days end to worry for long.

What was more awkward was when I innocently came down for breakfast to be greeted with raised eyebrows and goggly stares at the counter and whispers behind my back as I walked in for breakfast. The wife was a live wire and quite attractive. The staff must have thought it was a threesome thing.
 
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