She's sleeping with her boyfriend, never goes to confession, and receives!

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CindyGia

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Help!

My co-worker, who seems to be a pretty decent Catholic (attends weekly mass and HD’s of Obligation and confession twice yearly, has a cradle Catholic girlfriend (soon to be fiancee) who never goes to confession because she is “scared”. I know for a fact that these two “sleep together” as he is always “sleeping” over at her apartment and they have taken a couple of romantic vacations together this year. He has also mentioned once or twice the need for sex and how he cannot fathom how a priest could live without it. Needless-to-say, he is having sex with her.

Anyway, can you guys offer me something I can print out and give him to give to her regarding mortal sin and receiving Holy Communion. I tried speaking to him this morning about her not ever going to confession and he said he has tried to make her go but she refuses.

I could give him a printout of what it says in the Catechism but I would never be able to find it here at work (no home computer) - and also I’m not so sure that if it were a lengthy read, that she would even read it. Is there anything you can give me that I can print out and give to him for her to read regarding receiving Holy Communion with mortal sin. I also cannot understand how his very devout parents allow this to continue. I guess they would rather not say anything to her. A problem I’ve seen with alot of Catholics since becoming Catholic.

Anyway, maybe with whatever you guys can send me, will change her mind about receiving with mortal sin on her soul and get her to confession.

Thanks and God Bless!
CG
 
Hi Cindy,

I hope that you are able to help them, and I commend you for being concerned about them.

I often see the “Guidlines for Reception of Communion” printed out on the back of missals in the pew. I think it is from the United States Catholic Conference of Bishops (USCCB). You can read the whole thing here: usccb.org/liturgy/current/intercom.shtml

But here is the relevant excerpt:
As Catholics, we fully participate in the celebration of the Eucharist when we receive Holy Communion. We are encouraged to receive Communion devoutly and frequently. In order to be properly disposed to receive Communion, participants should not be conscious of grave sin and normally should have fasted for one hour. A person who is conscious of grave sin is not to receive the Body and Blood of the Lord without prior sacramental confession except for a grave reason where there is no opportunity for confession. In this case, the person is to be mindful of the obligation to make an act of perfect contrition, including the intention of confessing as soon as possible (canon 916). A frequent reception of the Sacrament of Penance is encouraged for all.
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Does that help at all?
God Bless you!
VC
 
And here are two very relevant (and short) portions of the Catechism:
1385 To respond to this invitation we must prepare ourselves for so great and so holy a moment. St. Paul urges us to examine our conscience: "Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of profaning the body and blood of the Lord. Let a man examine himself, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For any one who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment upon himself."218 Anyone conscious of a grave sin must receive the sacrament of Reconciliation before coming to communion.
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and
1415 Anyone who desires to receive Christ in Eucharistic communion must be in the state of grace. Anyone aware of having sinned mortally must not receive communion without having received absolution in the sacrament of penance.
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Unfortunately, as I can personally attest, this situation is not rare.
The “fear of the Lord” is the beginning of wisdom. Im not sensing any fear in them! Again, I’ve been there…

I am currently listening to Christopher Wests explanation of John Paul ll’s “Theology of the Body” on CD. It is incredible. It covers some basic stuff in the most unbelievable way. It lets us see just how distorted our view of humanness, the human body and sexuality are. It’s inexpensive also. You can get it at:

www.nakedwithoutshame.com

for like 3.90 for the 10 CD set! Be sure to get one for yourself and your friends…stocking stuffer!?

Phil
 
Thanks Verbum C.

I don’t think the link would leave any real drastic impression on her/them, but I think maybe the CC quote would be better. What I want to get across to her, or them both, is that having mortal sin on their souls and receiving Communion sacriligiously will ultimately put them in hell if they (God forbid) should die that way.

Do you know of anything with a more serious statement on this grave matter I can give them both? Now that I think of it, they both need to be enlightened that this is a grave matter - not just her.

Thanks a bunch!
 
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Philthy:
Unfortunately, as I can personally attest, this situation is not rare.
The “fear of the Lord” is the beginning of wisdom. Im not sensing any fear in them! Again, I’ve been there…

I am currently listening to Christopher Wests explanation of John Paul ll’s “Theology of the Body” on CD. It is incredible. It covers some basic stuff in the most unbelievable way. It lets us see just how distorted our view of humanness, the human body and sexuality are. It’s inexpensive also. You can get it at:

www.nakedwithoutshame.com

for like 3.90 for the 10 CD set! Be sure to get one for yourself and your friends…stocking stuffer!?

Phil
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Hey coolbeans Philthy! I’ll get a couple and give him one to share with her.
God Bless!
 
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Philthy:
Unfortunately, as I can personally attest, this situation is not rare.
The “fear of the Lord” is the beginning of wisdom. Im not sensing any fear in them! Again, I’ve been there…

I am currently listening to Christopher Wests explanation of John Paul ll’s “Theology of the Body” on CD. It is incredible. It covers some basic stuff in the most unbelievable way. It lets us see just how distorted our view of humanness, the human body and sexuality are. It’s inexpensive also. You can get it at:

www.nakedwithoutshame.com

for like 3.90 for the 10 CD set! Be sure to get one for yourself and your friends…stocking stuffer!?

Phil
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I just ordered two copies. I hope that they will get them both thinking. I will have to mail them to her apartment though, because I had given him 3 audio tapes last year to listen to and he never listened to them. He gave them to his mother to listen to. The tapes were conversion stories (Scott Hahn and Tim Staples) discussions and “The truth about Mary”.

Thanks again. I hope this works!
 
Unfortunately, many unmarried, cohabiting couples simply do not see their living arrangments as sinful. The culture has conditioned them to essentially view most everything involving consensual sex as healthy and good. So there is a knowledge gap to be overcome as well as a cultural bias.
 
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JimG:
Unfortunately, many unmarried, cohabiting couples simply do not see their living arrangments as sinful. The culture has conditioned them to essentially view most everything involving consensual sex as healthy and good. So there is a knowledge gap to be overcome as well as a cultural bias.
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I know, it’s very sad. Maybe this topic should be discussed more in homilies around the country don’t you think?
 
BTW, what is the link to the on-line Catechism and how do I use it? Would I just type in the word “sex” (or something like that) in the search bar to come up with the correct catechism teaching? I don’t know how to use an on-line Catechism.
 
Cindy,

The one I like best is here: scborromeo.org/ccc.htm

You just enter the word or phrases into that little search box and press “search”.

It will give you a list of all the paragraph #'s that are relevant (be sure to click the “next page” if there are more than fit on one page.

Once you choose the one you like, you click on it. It will show you what it says. I like to then click on the little “Enter the catechism at this paragraph” link so that I can read that paragraph IN CONTEXT with the rest of the Catechism.

Does that help at all?
VC
 
Oh yeah, and “Chastity” is probably the best search word you can use in this case. “Sex” only brings four hits and seems to be talking about same-sex attraction.
 
Verbum Caro:
Cindy,

The one I like best is here: scborromeo.org/ccc.htm

You just enter the word or phrases into that little search box and press “search”.

It will give you a list of all the paragraph #'s that are relevant (be sure to click the “next page” if there are more than fit on one page.

Once you choose the one you like, you click on it. It will show you what it says. I like to then click on the little “Enter the catechism at this paragraph” link so that I can read that paragraph IN CONTEXT with the rest of the Catechism.

Does that help at all?
VC
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Yes, that’s great! Thanks a heap VC!

Boy, are lackadaisical Catholics (I know) in for it now!
hee-hee!
 
I’m sorry Gia but I have to say I disagree with the majority here and tell you this is none of your business. It is not your obligation to spiritually correct these ppl imho your making a mistake.
The Priest giving this girl the Eucharist knows she has not been to confession perhaps it should be him who tackles this subject in church. JMHO
 
Verbum Caro:
Oh yeah, and “Chastity” is probably the best search word you can use in this case. “Sex” only brings four hits and seems to be talking about same-sex attraction.
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Okedoke! I’m sure once I start using it, I’ll begin to figure it out what is best used word wise.

can’t wait!
 
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starlucid:
I’m sorry Gia but I have to say I disagree with the majority here and tell you this is none of your business. It is not your obligation to spiritually correct these ppl imho your making a mistake.
The Priest giving this girl the Eucharist knows she has not been to confession perhaps it should be him who tackles this subject in church. JMHO
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I’m sorry but it is our obligation to correct people when the sacraments are misused. I will find that as well in the catechism.
 
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starlucid:
I’m sorry Gia but I have to say I disagree with the majority here and tell you this is none of your business. It is not your obligation to spiritually correct these ppl imho your making a mistake.
The Priest giving this girl the Eucharist knows she has not been to confession perhaps it should be him who tackles this subject in church. JMHO
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My first time working with an on-line Catechism and I find this:
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CindyGia:
CC:2478 To avoid rash judgment, everyone should be careful to interpret insofar as possible his neighbor’s thoughts, words, and deeds in a favorable way:

Every good Christian ought to be more ready to give a favorable interpretation to another’s statement than to condemn it. But if he cannot do so, let him ask how the other understands it. And if the latter understands it badly, let the former correct him with love. If that does not suffice, let the Christian try all suitable ways to bring the other to a correct interpretation so that he may be saved.
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I suppose if you knew a woman about to get an abortion you wouldn’t say a thing?
 
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starlucid:
I’m sorry Gia but I have to say I disagree with the majority here and tell you this is none of your business. It is not your obligation to spiritually correct these ppl imho your making a mistake.
The Priest giving this girl the Eucharist knows she has not been to confession perhaps it should be him who tackles this subject in church. JMHO
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I also wanted to add quickly that the priest may also think that she go to confession elsewhere. A priest may not stop a person from receiving communion even if he is well aware of the state of their soul. I know that for a fact. He cannot approach her, she has to approach him.
 
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CindyGia:
I’m sorry but it is our obligation to correct people when the sacraments are misused. I will find that as well in the catechism.
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It is one of the Spiritual Works of Mercy. To admonish the sinner. You could probably find them with Google.com

I have several children who went through this lifestyle and it is like talking to a stump for all the acceptance given to admonishment. One nthinks they have been raised right and proper and then the hormones win out. Dick
 
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rwoehmke:
It is one of the Spiritual Works of Mercy. To admonish the sinner. You could probably find them with Google.com

I have several children who went through this lifestyle and it is like talking to a stump for all the acceptance given to admonishment. One nthinks they have been raised right and proper and then the hormones win out. Dick
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I can understand how it would be harder for teenagers to practice chastity - with hormones out of control and all – but these people are 28 and 26 and he is a fairly good Catholic (so to speak.)

I know young people these days “cannot live” without sexual gratification, and find it ludicrous to hold out from having sexual relations until marriage - but for crying out loud, if you’re Catholic, get to confession each week, or refuse to receive communion until you do. It’s as simple as that.
 
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