She's sleeping with her boyfriend, never goes to confession, and receives!

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CindyGia:
but for crying out loud, if you’re Catholic, get to confession each week, or refuse to receive communion until you do. It’s as simple as that.
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Unless you are committing habitual mortal sin, it is not mandatory that you go to confession every week. However, there are always venial sins to confess, so it is up to the individual. It certainly is a most beautiful and healing sacrament. 🙂
 
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Mickey:
Unless you are committing habitual mortal sin, it is not mandatory that you go to confession every week. However, there are always venial sins to confess, so it is up to the individual. It certainly is a most beautiful and healing sacrament. 🙂
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Absolutely! I actually use this sacrament on a weekly basis myself. Even though my sins are basically venial, I feel awful if I don’t go to confession. I don’t care how venial my sins my seem - I like knowing that I made my trip to God and ask His forgiveness.

It is a wonderfully healing sacrament! 😛
 
Here is another verse to give, which you may have seen already.

1 Cor 11:27-29
27 Therefore whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner, shall be guilty of the body and the blood of the Lord.
28 But a man must examine himself, and in so doing he is to eat of the bread and drink of the cup.
29 For he who eats and drinks, eats and drinks judgment to himself if he does not judge the body rightly.

Short and sweet and to the point I think. On a similar note. I saw a show on EWTN a week or so ago and it was all about morality and ones attitude for marriage. The person went on to give statistics on the failure rate of marriage when the couple has premarital sex. Also there is a great increase in failure rates when the couples cohabitate before marriage. He gave very practical advice. Wish I could remember his name. If you’ve read Theology of the Body by JP2 or Christopher Wests book on the same subject one will walk away with a renewed appreciation and respect for the opposite sex and marriage in general. Hope this helped…
 
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starlucid:
I’m sorry Gia but I have to say I disagree with the majority here and tell you this is none of your business. It is not your obligation to spiritually correct these ppl imho your making a mistake.
The Priest giving this girl the Eucharist knows she has not been to confession perhaps it should be him who tackles this subject in church. JMHO
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I disagree…when someone sins who is a member of the Holy Mother Church they are hurting all of us, for we are all members of the Body of Christ. In fact this is one of the reasons we confess to a priest. Not only is he given the Apostolic authority to absolve our sins in heaven, he also represents the Church Militant and the body of Christ, and forgives us as the representative of the entire Holy Mother Church.

I think that CindyGia is acting out of love and with great courage. What she needs to be prepared for is to have her good works rejected. If that happens, she must be willing to still treat the people in question with charity and to pray for them so that they can resolve the conflict and come into full communion with the Holy Mother Church.
 
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Mickey:
Unless you are committing habitual mortal sin, it is not mandatory that you go to confession every week. However, there are always venial sins to confess, so it is up to the individual. It certainly is a most beautiful and healing sacrament. 🙂
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While the Church only requires us to receive the Sacrament of Penance once a year, I found that when I consecrated myself to Mary and promised to receive the Sacrament of Penance once a month, my love for it’s healing qualities grew. Like it has been expressed here so well, receiving confession on a regular basis seems to help with one’s peace of mind and heart.
 
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LSK:
While the Church only requires us to receive the Sacrament of Penance once a year, I found that when I consecrated myself to Mary and promised to receive the Sacrament of Penance once a month, my love for it’s healing qualities grew. Like it has been expressed here so well, receiving confession on a regular basis seems to help with one’s peace of mind and heart.
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👍
 
And don’t forget, Grace aside, going to confession WITHOUT trying to change the behavior means you are not contrite, and renders absolution null. You CANNOT “fool” God. You may dupe the Priest, but that won’t help u escape Hell (if that is what it comes to one day) and the grip of mortal sin.

Remind her that as scary as a Priest may seem, it is far less scary than the fiery pits of Satan where we can spend all eternity if we choose. FOREVER. no going back, no mercy. That applies to you and I as well!
 
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CindyGia:
My first time working with an on-line Catechism and I find this:

I suppose if you knew a woman about to get an abortion you wouldn’t say a thing?
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Gia it is not the job of a Christian to get involved in another christians private affairs and if i knew a woman that was going to get an abortion and she did not ask my opinion you are right i would not give it.
Your condemnation and being ultra righteous is not imho motivated by faith but by meddling and judgement of others Christians. If by interfering in this you manage to embarass or deter this girl from attending mass what will you have accomplished is it anything good? It was not my intention to upset you but to make you think before you do something possibly more harmful than this girl taking the eucharist based on her concious.
 
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starlucid:
I’m sorry Gia but I have to say I disagree with the majority here and tell you this is none of your business. It is not your obligation to spiritually correct these ppl imho your making a mistake.
The Priest giving this girl the Eucharist knows she has not been to confession perhaps it should be him who tackles this subject in church. JMHO
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Search for the words “admonish”, “exhort”, “rebuke”, “reprimand” in the Bible. I don’t know if it’s an obligation, but I think it’s a good thing and much closer to an obligation than not. (usccb.org/nab/bible/index.htm)

Here is one of many relevant links that praise admonishing:
usccb.org/nab/bible/1thessalonians/1thessalonians5.htm
 
And I daresay those who standby and let others potentially comdemn themselves to an eternity in Hell will have to answer to God when the time comes.

Why do any of us OBJECT to ANYTHING if we are supposed to just mind our own business?

I bet you’d step in if you thought she was addicted to drugs! That won’t necessarily kill her relationship woth god, but allowing her to die in mortal sin will.
 
I have to say something regarding this.

I agree, and understand that receiving communion with mortal sin is absolutely wrong and it should not be done. But I have heard so many different things from so many different people.

I have heard that masturbation is a mortal sin, that having sexual relations outside of marriage is a mortal sin, missing mass if you can make it is a mortal sin and receiving the eucharist in mortal sin is a mortal sin…but that’s it. I have also heard that if you have an addiction to a mortal sin that it is not mortal but veinal instead (I specifically remember hearing someone in a chatroom say they had an addiction to masturbation because they did it since they were a child and couldn’t stop, or have attempted to with no success, but continues to try)

I became a Catholic (I didn’t convert, just didn’t belong before) and I have to tell you that the RCIA program I went through explained the difference between mortal and veinal sins, but that’s it. I was NEVER given ANY example of what the sins were, how to determine if you are in mortal sin, what a sin even is and how to confess a sin. Needless to say I have found out that I have committed mortal sins (the actual acts that is) but I had been told before by other Catholics not to worry about it…so I didn’t. I don’t know who to believe! I don’t own a catechism, I hardly have time to read it even if I did, and I am sincerely confused as to if what I have done even constitutes as a mortal sin.

One thing that I have noticed, and honestly have to gripe about with the Catholic Church, which I am a member, is that information about the faith and moral teaching is hard for adults to grasp. Information is written in the catechism and we are expected to read all 700 pages of it. Fine, I’ll read it because I have to, but most people don’t, and simply reading it doesn’t mean I’ll understand it. I’m not ashamed to say that I bought a HUGE Catholic Study bible, big blue huge mother…must weigh 20 pounds! It has a reading guide, maps, index, glossary everything you can imagine. You know how many times I’ve read it? None. You know why? Because I don’t get it. It’s too hard to understand. Too much is assumed. So, I’m not embarrassed to say that, I went out and bought a Catholic Youth bible, a “My First Missal” book, a Catholic high school text book called “Understanding the Catechism: Liturgy and Sacrements” and intend to buy more “youth” books in the future. I have to say that I have learned more out of those books than I have learned in all of RCIA, this web site and others put together. But there are still so many questions that come and go…Maybe to be on the safe side I should just never receive communion? I don’t know if I’m in a state of mortal sin or not. Even if someone told me to confess my sins, I wouldn’t know how and if I did I don’t know what sins are mortal and what aren’t!

Talk about lost!
 
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starlucid:
Gia it is not the job of a Christian to get involved in another christians private affairs and if i knew a woman that was going to get an abortion and she did not ask my opinion you are right i would not give it.
Your condemnation and being ultra righteous is not imho motivated by faith but by meddling and judgement of others Christians. If by interfering in this you manage to embarass or deter this girl from attending mass what will you have accomplished is it anything good? It was not my intention to upset you but to make you think before you do something possibly more harmful than this girl taking the eucharist based on her concious.
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In Catholicism we believe in absolute right and wrong, so regardless of what she personally judges to be right, she is in the wrong. I would never argue that committing a sin or not telling others is better than embarrassing someone. If it embarrasses her, that’s probably good, because she’s having sex with a man she isn’t married to.

I would seriously question your ethical standards if you wouldn’t advise someone you knew against an abortion out of some petty fear of embarassing them. I find its often the case that people fear being looked down upon for standing up for Christianity more than anything else.
 
My whole point about this thread is the poster asked opinions and this is my opinion imho she missed her opportunity to discuss this with the boyfriend when he brought it up about his girlfriend not going to confession and taking the Eucharist.

At this point it is going to be recieved unless they are very close as friends as intrusive meddling.

I don’t think its my job as a Christian to rebuke or judge others or maybe my interpretation of Mathew 7: 1 thru 5 is wrong?
If another Christian comes to me and asks my opinion or my help then yes i feel it is my obligation to give that but to actively go and interfere in someones free will something not even our Creator does and try to prevent them from sinning imho is not right or biblical.
 
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starlucid:
My whole point about this thread is the poster asked opinions and this is my opinion imho she missed her opportunity to discuss this with the boyfriend when he brought it up about his girlfriend not going to confession and taking the Eucharist.

At this point it is going to be recieved unless they are very close as friends as intrusive meddling.

I don’t think its my job as a Christian to rebuke or judge others or maybe my interpretation of Mathew 7: 1 thru 5 is wrong?
If another Christian comes to me and asks my opinion or my help then yes i feel it is my obligation to give that but to actively go and interfere in someones free will something not even our Creator does and try to prevent them from sinning imho is not right or biblical.
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I think you’re using that passage to cop out of potentially embarassing yourself by preaching your faith. If done in a loving manner its not judgement, but concern. She’s not condeming her, shes attempting to help her.

You don’t try to prevent someone from sinning? WHAT?!?

If you saw a friend about to fall in a hole, would you not stop him for fear of intefering in his free will? I would say sinning is largely more dire than that even.

And I wouldn’t call it interfering because you are not impeding free will, but encouraging the right way. She’s not going to physically stop her, but try to guide her towards truth.

If God didn’t want to impede free will at all, would he send His Son to tell us how to life our life? Isn’t that “interfering” with our lives?
 
The boyfriend seems like the one in the most trouble to me. Yes, the woman won’t go to confession, but he goes to confession yet continues to have sex outside of marriage.

My priest talked about the need for confession this week and something he said really stuck out at me and you might try discussing it with these two. He said that if we aren’t going to confession, aren’t confessing our sins, then we’re basically telling Him (pointing at the crucifix) that we don’t need Him. It was like being punched in the stomach when he said that.

I hope you can talk to these two in a way that’s positive for everyone involved. I’ve been the shoes of the girlfriend, and when I saw the light it wasn’t pretty. Tell her it’s OK to be scared of confession; just get there!!
 
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Ianjo99:
In Catholicism we believe in absolute right and wrong, so regardless of what she personally judges to be right, she is in the wrong. I would never argue that committing a sin or not telling others is better than embarrassing someone. If it embarrasses her, that’s probably good, because she’s having sex with a man she isn’t married to.

I would seriously question your ethical standards if you wouldn’t advise someone you knew against an abortion out of some petty fear of embarassing them. I find its often the case that people fear being looked down upon for standing up for Christianity more than anything else.
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You don’t know my opinion on this issue because i have not given it. If I don’t force my opinion down someones throat I have no ethics as a Christian?
Standing up for Christianity does imho not mean I force my opinions or concious on others. It is not what the Saints did it is not what Christ did or his Apostles it was a ministry of love and redemption of our sins in Our Lord Jesus Christ.
I do not wish to argue if you find satisfaction in rebukking others and finding and exposing others sin then in imho you missed the point.
 
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starlucid:
You don’t know my opinion on this issue because i have not given it. If I don’t force my opinion down someones throat I have no ethics as a Christian?
Standing up for Christianity does imho not mean I force my opinions or concious on others. It is not what the Saints did it is not what Christ did or his Apostles it was a ministry of love and redemption of our sins in Our Lord Jesus Christ.
I do not wish to argue if you find satisfaction in rebukking others and finding and exposing others sin then in imho you missed the point.
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I said I would question your (meant in a general sense) ethics if you wouldn’t advise against something as serious as abortion. I can see how it sounded like I meant you in particular, and I am
sorry for that.

IMO, standing up for what you believe to be right is a cornerstone of the Christian faith. All I am saying is that ignoring something potentially very serious doesn’t seem to be the way to help anybody.
 
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CindyGia:
Help!

My co-worker, who seems to be a pretty decent Catholic (attends weekly mass and HD’s of Obligation and confession twice yearly, has a cradle Catholic girlfriend (soon to be fiancee) who never goes to confession because she is “scared”. I know for a fact that these two “sleep together” as he is always “sleeping” over at her apartment and they have taken a couple of romantic vacations together this year. He has also mentioned once or twice the need for sex and how he cannot fathom how a priest could live without it. Needless-to-say, he is having sex with her.

Anyway, can you guys offer me something I can print out and give him to give to her regarding mortal sin and receiving Holy Communion. I tried speaking to him this morning about her not ever going to confession and he said he has tried to make her go but she refuses.

I could give him a printout of what it says in the Catechism but I would never be able to find it here at work (no home computer) - and also I’m not so sure that if it were a lengthy read, that she would even read it. Is there anything you can give me that I can print out and give to him for her to read regarding receiving Holy Communion with mortal sin. I also cannot understand how his very devout parents allow this to continue. I guess they would rather not say anything to her. A problem I’ve seen with alot of Catholics since becoming Catholic.

Anyway, maybe with whatever you guys can send me, will change her mind about receiving with mortal sin on her soul and get her to confession.

Thanks and God Bless!
CG
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You mention correcting the girl but not about correcting the guy in the relationship. Why not? Is he not a Catholic too? Is he not participating in the same mortal sin and perhaps even more to blame by leading the woman into mortal sin with him?

Maybe I am missing something here. Please correct me if I am wrong.
 
there seems to be a good deal of debate going on as to whether or not the OP should speak up. There might be several points to ponder.
  1. Most people don’t like to hear anyone critique their choices and behavior. In fact, many people will simply shut you off if you start to lecture them (and amazingly, even a very indirect, softly couched comment is often treated as a lecture); and some wil be driven farther away - as in, some who are going to church now will quit if confronted head on.
Therefore it is incumbant upon the one wishing to do something about the situation to find a way of doing it that does not do more damage.
  1. One needs to be postively clear that one’s motives are truyly pure. It is easy to come from a place of pride that one knows more than the other does and thus the other needs to be told; another way of putting it is self-righteousness. One also should seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit in such a mission; it is not our truth we speak, but God’s; one needs to be guided by the Spirit when attempting such a mission.
  2. The New Testament tells us to remove the log from our eye before going to a brother or sister to remove a splinter; we need especially to pay attention to this teaching.
Having said that, one of the best approaches is not to tell them anything, but to ask them a lot. It is generally referred to as the Socratic method. I suspect they know what the Church teaches, but have been unwilling to apply the teaching. Telling them what they already know is likely to not go too far in the right direction, but rather, speed off in the wrong one.

There is also a fair amount of information available that could apply; Jason Evert’s booklet on chastity comes immediately to mind. And before insisting they read it, read the above notes; it is much more effective to ask than tell…

There is also some valuable points to be made by Janet Smith’s tape (I think it is called “Chastity, Why Not?”).

Keep also in mind that charity means that you do not pick up or convey an attitutde of judgement, or disdain, or disgust, or anything else that conveys an attitude of “I’m better than you”. That is not easy in such a situation.
 
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otm:
…There might be several points to ponder.
  1. Most people don’t like to hear anyone critique their choices and behavior. In fact, many people will simply shut you off if you start to lecture them (and amazingly, even a very indirect, softly couched comment is often treated as a lecture); and some wil be driven farther away - as in, some who are going to church now will quit if confronted head on.
Therefore it is incumbant upon the one wishing to do something about the situation to find a way of doing it that does not do more damage.
  1. One needs to be postively clear that one’s motives are truyly pure. It is easy to come from a place of pride that one knows more than the other does and thus the other needs to be told; another way of putting it is self-righteousness. One also should seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit in such a mission; it is not our truth we speak, but God’s; one needs to be guided by the Spirit when attempting such a mission.
  2. The New Testament tells us to remove the log from our eye before going to a brother or sister to remove a splinter; we need especially to pay attention to this teaching.
Having said that, one of the best approaches is not to tell them anything, but to ask them a lot. It is generally referred to as the Socratic method. I susp[ect they know what the Church teaches, but have been unwilling to apply the teaching. Telling them what they already know is likely to not go too far in the right direction, but rather, speed off in the wrong one…
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This is an excellent response! I am going to post again here and share my experience in a similar situation. I stumbled on approximately what you reccommend here, otm.
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