Shining a light on truth vs. comforting the grieving? Funeral homily in cases of suicide

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JulianN said:
And how would the bishop know the man’s last thought?
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Also, why does this only work one way? I’ve heard canonizations before. How is it we can know a person is saved but not that they are condemned? The truth is, apart from official canonization, we can’t know these things. Presumption is a sin as much as despair is.
 
This is a very tricky situation because 1) people going to funerals today have an expectation that it will be very personal with many stories about the person who passed. They often don’t even call it a funeral now; it’s a celebration of life. This family had an expectation which was turned on its head.
  1. The way the boy died was so tragic that even if the priest had gone to a completely pastoral approach entirely sensitive to their emotions, he still might have offended them inadvertently.
  2. Hearing a homily is different from reading it on the internet. So while the homily looked good to me, and I can get a view of its entirety in print, it probably didn’t sound good as it was delivered in real time.
  3. The priest has perhaps spent numerous hours thinking about suicide and dealing with it from a moral perspective. The family had only a few days to put together a viewpoint. Maybe they had never considered the Church’s stance on suicide, or even funerals. Their learning curve was too great to be able to hear that homily.
 
Not wrong but unnecessary.

It’s not like the family does not know that.
 
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Sarcelle said:
Not wrong but unnecessary.

It’s not like the family does not know that.
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Why unnecessary? The message was actually even in the case of suicide God can save people. It seems to me they do need to know that. Why would one presume they know that? Also, the homily isn’t just for the family.
 
It is primarily for the family.

The priest may have had good intentions and in all likelihood does have good intentions but when the father asked him to stop, why didn’t he?

The message is good but if the recipient is not amenable to it and has made it clear, why did the priest continue?
 
Sarcelle said:
It is primarily for the family.
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I thought masses were primarily to worship God and offer intentions. Homilies are to instruct the faithful, which is everyone there.
Sarcelle said:
The priest may have had good intentions and in all likelihood does have good intentions but when the father asked him to stop, why didn’t he?
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I didn’t think laymen can dictate homilies. Had what the priest said been offensive that would be a different issue. But it wasn’t.
 
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The family and archbishop disagree. It was offensive. And as someone who lost a very close family member to suicide, I concur. It is very possible to deliver a compassionate homily asking for prayers for the deceased’s soul without constantly mentioning the one thing the parents asked him not to talk about.

If he felt unable to do that, he should have told them during his prep meeting with them —they would then have had the opportunity to find another parish or priest.
 
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I’ve lost a family member to suicide and I don’t agree. So there we are.
JulianN said:
If he felt unable to do that, he should have told them during his prep meeting with them
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Unable to do what exactly? Unable to not use the word suicide?
 
Yes. They asked him not to talk about it. If he couldn’t do that, he should have told them. He blindsided them, and kept going even when asked to stop.

I get you disagree, but the archbishop doesn’t agree with your position . And the priest himself has apologized—he’s acknowledged he was wrong.
 
Do you have a source for that, that is them asking him not to mention he killed himself?
JulianN said:
I get you disagree, but the archbishop doesn’t agree with your position…
And the priest himself has apologized—he’s acknowledged he was wrong.
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Well as you mentioned the archbishop disagrees. What else is the priest to do?
 
JulianN said:
It is very possible to deliver a compassionate homily asking for prayers for the deceased’s soul without constantly mentioning
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Constantly?

Can you please show support for this?

I feel compassion and forgiveness were much more prominent.
 
This shows a complete lack of understanding of mental illness and the teaching of the Catholic Church regarding suicide as noted in the Catechism of the Catholic Church.
 
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