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Blue_Rose
Guest
Or should a woman just give hints like chatting, smiling… I’m terrible with this and socially awkward so any (name removed by moderator)ut is appreciated!
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1lucy1
Guest
There are guys that will be relieved when women make the first move. Other will be a little intimidated. If you are nervous, try small hints. Smile (naturally!), laugh at his jokes, little arm touches, stuff like that. You can definitely ask him out if you want
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Xantippe
Guest
It’s fine to ask a guy to a group event, a party that you’re hosting with friends, or even to ask him to a movie or event you think he might enjoy, etc. But keep it ambiguous.Or should a woman just give hints like chatting, smiling… I’m terrible with this and socially awkward so any (name removed by moderator)ut is appreciated!
Be prepared to be told no, though, and be prepared to just let it go if nothing happens after a first date. If he’s interested, he’ll ask you out again himself.
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DarkLight
Guest
I am aware of several guys who have been going on thinking “she can’t possibly like me, we’re just friends” even when they’re quite interested in the woman, and thus don’t make a move.
Although there is always the method of enlisting a female friend, preferably a mutual friend.
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oliver927
Guest
My wife was the one to ask me out. I say go for it.
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Xantippe
Guest
Yeah, unfortunately chatting and smiling is pretty ambiguous.
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Irishmom2
Guest
Why shouldn’t she?
Why in this century are women still waiting passively for men to ask them out? Just ask. Why wait for something that might never happen, hoping it will?
Ask, and you will gave an answer. Not always the one you want, but why sit around wondering if all it takes to find out one way or another is to just ask.
Of course, how you ask and what you intend all comes into play.
Why in this century are women still waiting passively for men to ask them out? Just ask. Why wait for something that might never happen, hoping it will?
Ask, and you will gave an answer. Not always the one you want, but why sit around wondering if all it takes to find out one way or another is to just ask.
Of course, how you ask and what you intend all comes into play.
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BlueEyedLady
Guest
Is it morally wrong? Of course not. Is it socially acceptable? Pretty much. Is it something you want to do? Well, only you can answer that.
Personally, no, I would never ask a man out. I liked being persued and I liked it when the man took the lead in the relationship. That’s not to say I wouldn’t drop hints or flirt, I would. But I figured if a guy didn’t ask he was either not interested or too shy and/or passive for me.
Personally, no, I would never ask a man out. I liked being persued and I liked it when the man took the lead in the relationship. That’s not to say I wouldn’t drop hints or flirt, I would. But I figured if a guy didn’t ask he was either not interested or too shy and/or passive for me.
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Irishmom2
Guest
I agree. This is a good point. It all depends on your personality and what you are looking for in a relationship. If he is that shy or passive, you might need to always take the lead. Some people are not comfortable with that. Some are.
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phil19034
Guest
This happened to me a bit. When I was in school, it was very hard for me to tell when female acquaintance/friend was interested in me as just a friend or interested in something more. It wasn’t that I was shy, but that I was oblivious to subtle hints.
Also, there were several times when I would develop attraction to female acquaintances that I saw in class or group events on a regular basis. If I wasn’t 100%, I typically avoided making a move because I didn’t want to “upset” the group dynamic. Plus, a few times when I had developed deep feelings for a female friend, but was “afraid” to say anything because I would rather have her friendship than lose her all together.
I knew of many good guys who had these problem… they would have make a decision: tell her and risk never seeing her again or constraint heartbreak by watching her with other guys. Hence, one male friend of mine in college often said that’s why he never allowed himself to become true friends with girls. He wasn’t the best looking guy, but he always hooked up with girls due to his “I don’t care” attitude. NOTE: I’m not condoning his behavior.
My suggestion to the OP: feel free to ask a guy out to something simple, like coffee. Don’t invite him to dinner or a party, but invite him to something casual like coffee, a walk, something simple. But nothing with alcohol. Inviting to a guy to events like parties with alcohol could make the guy wonder if the booze was talking, or might send a wrong message. Ice breakers (which a first dates typically are) are often best sober.
Something simple, again like coffee, won’t be threating to either of you and it will clearly send the message to him that your are interested.
Good luck and God bless
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Xantippe
Guest
But you can invite a single guy to dinner with other friends. “Party” does not have to mean bacchanalian revels.
Some friends of our family do a board game night with a simple dinner every month. If that were a shared interest, it would be a very natural thing to invite a guy to. We also have a regular potluck dinner at my husband’s department–if one had something like that, that would not be a big deal.
Avoiding a “big deal” is probably the key here.
The only sticky thing is (if you don’t know the person well), how do you get them to leave if they are at your home and they get fresh? Because of that possibility, it’s a good idea for it either not to be at your home, or to co-host with somebody else who understands your concerns.
One of the first invites I did for my future husband was to invite him to dinner at my apartment with some people from my department. I can’t say that I was exactly chaperoned for that, but I was a big girl at the time and my future husband is a gentlemanly sort, so nothing bad happened.
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on_the_hill
Guest
There are a lot of married couples out there that wouldn’t be together if the woman didn’t ask in the first place.
If a woman isn’t comfortable with asking, she could have a friend talk to the guy and tell him about it.
If a woman isn’t comfortable with asking, she could have a friend talk to the guy and tell him about it.
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pianistclare
Guest
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Irishmom2
Guest
Awww, just like back in middle school!
If he isn’t asking because he is shy or passive and she has to have a friend speak for her, it appears neither has enough social skills to be dating.
Yup. Middle school.
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HerCrazierHalf
Guest
Yes, ask him out. Sometimes we can’t read whether or not there is mutual interest.
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on_the_hill
Guest
Well…Awww, just like back in middle school!
If he isn’t asking because he is shy or passive and she has to have a friend speak for her, it appears neither has enough social skills to be dating.
Yup. Middle school.
…I had it happen to me a couple times in college…“What do you think about SusieQ? Would you ever be interested in asking her out?”
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CatholicFireman
Guest
I was clueless when a women was interested in me. My wife pursued me (not a brag). Go for it.
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Bill_Martin
Guest
Could be that, but not always. If I am close friends with a woman, I wouldn’t ask her out unless I am 100% sure she has the same feelings for me. If I don’t know her as well, or if we are friends, but not super close, I would ask her out much more readily. It’s not about being shy or awkward; I just don’t want to potentially ruin a good friendship.
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Crown_of_Stars
Guest
To be deeply honest, I really do feel the man being the pursuer is better, more romantic. For me, I wouldn’t even feel like having to ask the guy if he didn’t care first. Then again, if I were in the situation, and depending on the guy, I might feel differently. It’s just one of those things.Or should a woman just give hints like chatting, smiling… I’m terrible with this and socially awkward so any (name removed by moderator)ut is appreciated!
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Polluted
Guest
Sadly American culture has killed any masculine quality in our men. Extreme liberalism and the joke feminism has morphed in to now has our boys too afraid to act. I wish it weren’t true and could say one day prince charming is gonna chase you, romance you, and make you feel like a women but sadly odds are stacked against you.
A girls best bet to find a man is to ask him out now in the western world however this too leads to low odds that this guy is actually gonna possess the traits you look for. After all he was too terrified to approach you…can’t be a good sign if you expect him to actually help lead you through life. Ironically you probably wouldn’t want him to anyway in the name of “equality” or some malarkey like that.
Sadly a good deal of girls are probably gonna get stuck with a shmoe or lay awake at night wishing they had someone else.
That’s “progress” for you. Only adventurous man your gonna get is when he plays temple run on his IPhone.
A girls best bet to find a man is to ask him out now in the western world however this too leads to low odds that this guy is actually gonna possess the traits you look for. After all he was too terrified to approach you…can’t be a good sign if you expect him to actually help lead you through life. Ironically you probably wouldn’t want him to anyway in the name of “equality” or some malarkey like that.
Sadly a good deal of girls are probably gonna get stuck with a shmoe or lay awake at night wishing they had someone else.
That’s “progress” for you. Only adventurous man your gonna get is when he plays temple run on his IPhone.
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