R
Ridgerunner
Guest
It has been a lot of years since I dated, so what I have to say might be worthless.
My wife and I strongly disliked each other when we first met. Strongly. She sized me up as vain (which I was) and I sized her up as having a sharp tongue and an acid wit,(which she did) Imagine that combination. We had some really cutting verbal exchanges, initially.
Eventually, however (and on the same night at the same party) we made a sort of truce because we were really getting in each others’ way among the others there. After the truce was made, we sort of became friends. I began to admire her wit and perhaps my being more myself was a relief (or perhaps victory) to her. Eventually, (and that same evening) we agreed to be “confidants”. No pretenses. We would totally just be ourselves with each other, and not only at that party.
Nobody asked either out to begin with. We mutually agreed to watch the late returns together. (It was a political victory party we were at). I think thereafter I was the one who asked her out, but I would not have taken it badly or as something abnormal if she had asked me out at that point. We had already become sort of allies in life, odd as that might sound.
My point here being that I think it can sure make a difference if a man and a woman are “friends” first, at least to the extent that they’re able to talk to each other as adults who find each others’ company congenial and worthy of “alliance”. Then I don’t think it matters who asks who out.
I’ll add, though, that I had plenty of “cold call” dates before my wife and I met, as well as some “Suzie likes you, why don’t you ask her out” hints from other women. I think those things are pretty much a situation in which the male needs to take the lead.
My wife and I strongly disliked each other when we first met. Strongly. She sized me up as vain (which I was) and I sized her up as having a sharp tongue and an acid wit,(which she did) Imagine that combination. We had some really cutting verbal exchanges, initially.
Eventually, however (and on the same night at the same party) we made a sort of truce because we were really getting in each others’ way among the others there. After the truce was made, we sort of became friends. I began to admire her wit and perhaps my being more myself was a relief (or perhaps victory) to her. Eventually, (and that same evening) we agreed to be “confidants”. No pretenses. We would totally just be ourselves with each other, and not only at that party.
Nobody asked either out to begin with. We mutually agreed to watch the late returns together. (It was a political victory party we were at). I think thereafter I was the one who asked her out, but I would not have taken it badly or as something abnormal if she had asked me out at that point. We had already become sort of allies in life, odd as that might sound.
My point here being that I think it can sure make a difference if a man and a woman are “friends” first, at least to the extent that they’re able to talk to each other as adults who find each others’ company congenial and worthy of “alliance”. Then I don’t think it matters who asks who out.
I’ll add, though, that I had plenty of “cold call” dates before my wife and I met, as well as some “Suzie likes you, why don’t you ask her out” hints from other women. I think those things are pretty much a situation in which the male needs to take the lead.
