Should an only child not become a priest?

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Larowyn

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I was adopted shortly after birth and I don’t have any siblings through my adoptive parents, and I’ve been simultaneously considering the religious and married lives for a few years. Since I’m the sole heir of my family’s estate when they die, I stand to gain quite an inheritance, including 40 acres of land. If I join an order and/or become a priest, I naturally cannot create anyone to add to the family line to take over when I get old and I’ll probably have to give it all up. I’m not greedy and selfish, but I have excellent business acumen and have considered trying to create a family business out of what I can get from the land, which is presently only firewood since it’s mostly forest. If I become a priest, then my family’s line ends. I’d really like to marry and have children, but I also would like to be a priest, and so I cannot decide.
 
Question #1: What does God want you to do?

Now, for your question, there is no problem with an only child becoming a Priest. Servant of God Fr. John Hardon was an only child of a widowed mother. God called him. He thought he needed to take care of his mother. God thought differently.

That might not be the case with you. Why do you want to become a Priest? Why do you think God might want you to become a Priest?

As far as the line dying out, since you’re adopted, you don’t need to be concerned with the “line” dying out, because it will anyway because there were no biological children. So you’re concerned about the name dying out, which is a different thing.
 
I am sure that you could keep the property in the family. You could will it to a cousin or some other relative that shows an interest in maintaining the property.

If I do not have children, or even a son for that matter, my nephew will get my father’s train set from when he was a child that I inherited. I know train sets do not equal homes and property, but you get the idea.
 
You are called to a period of protracted, gut-wrenching discernment. To serve the Lord is perhaps the greatest honor on this earth. Without the religious, the Body of Christ loses much. Without the hands of the priest to consecrate the Eucharist, there is no physical presence of Christ on earth!

Family blood lines can have great practical importance, as in your case involving the property, but are somewhat a matter of pride. I would be delighted if both of my children answered a vocation to the religious life. However, it is to their discernment and I can only provide guidance.

Know that business acumen relates to the administration of a parish, or other church entity as well.

Christ’s peace as you discern.
 
Wouldn’t it be better to have several children, raise them to be devout Catholics, and hope one of them choose a religious vocation instead? God gets his priest/nun/brother and the family continues. Win/win.
 
Larowyn said:
Wouldn’t it be better to have several children, raise them to be devout Catholics, and hope one of them choose a religious vocation instead? God gets his priest/nun/brother and the family continues. Win/win.
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That is to assume the vocations will be answered. As I mentioned, discernment can be a stressful experience, sometimes taking years. Give it time, and take it before Christ in the Blessed Sacrament. You will receive your answer in due time. What if Thomas Aquinas had just married and had a family. Might have been a priest or maybe a sister in the bunch. And Christendom would be all the poorer. Something to ponder.

You are leaning toward marriage, family and worldly possessions. All well and good, but do not ignore the deeply spiritual aspect of life. It is much more satisfying than all of the possessions in the world, as it never fails, loses value or becomes a burden. It draws you ever nearer to God, whereas possessions tend to pull you away.

Christ’s peace.
 
Our Lord Jesus Christ was an only child.

Do not wait for others to do what you can do today.

There is no greater calling that to become a priest. Pray to God and ask Him “thy will be done”?

All too often we talk ourselves out of the one great opportunity life presents to us.

Just think of the thousands of people you could influence positively as a priest, not to mention the miracle of celebrating the Holy Mass daily.

Anyone can have children, I have 3 and they are truly a blessing, but to be able to act “in persona Christi” wow! The calling to the priesthood is the ultimate blessing.

May God Bless you!

Mark
 
I have a friend who was recently ordained a priest. He is an only child.

If you PM me, I can give you his contact information. He might have some good insight on the issues at hand.
 
There is no reason why an only child should not be a priest- if a man is called then a man is called. Do not worry too much- you have just begun discernment. It is a long process. You do not have to make any decisions now. You just have to take it day by day and keep praying to God.
 
colorful said:
There is no reason why an only child should not be a priest- if a man is called then a man is called. Do not worry too much- you have just begun discernment. It is a long process. You do not have to make any decisions now. You just have to take it day by day and keep praying to God.
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I’ve actually been discerning for at least five years.

Other responses forthcoming.
 
I always wonder when I read threads like this if becoming a deacon after you’re married is an option (for you personally)? We have some wonderful married deacons in our parish that share a great deal of duties with our priests and are absolutely indispensable in our parish.

Think of it this way: priests are also called father for a reason. You’ll be a parent either way, regardless if it’s to your own kids or your parish’s spiritual children. You could also certainly inspire someone to be a priest whether you are one or not. I don’t think you should worry too much about to which side you’ll be adding people to the tally.

As far as your inheritance goes, well, if your parents are still living you could ask them what their wishes are should you decide to become a priest, if you’re not allowed to keep it. You may actually be able to keep some - I had a great aunt that was a nun from the early 1930s to the mid 1980s and she was allowed to keep her share of her family’s bank stock. It got split up amongst her nearest living relatives when she died. The only thing she said about “stuff” is that when some people went into religious life they gave all their valuables to the church and so the convent had hundreds and hundreds of sets of fine china, silver, tapestries, rugs, etc and couldn’t do anything with it. Something about it was now the property of the people of the Church (ie all Roman Catholics worldwide) and so the convent couldn’t sell it, not even to make money for the poor. She said that a lot of old people with no heirs willed their stuff to the Church - same thing happened. I guess they’d prefer chunky cash donations in wills instead of valuable heirlooms and such.

(sorry I think I got sidetracked. just keep praying for direction, we’re rooting for you!)
 
My biggest issue is not that I feel I can’t become a priest because of my inheritance, but that I still can’t decide whether I should become one or marry. I really want to marry, but I also really want to be a priest. The inheritance is only an issue if I choose to become a priest.
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JohnnyReb:
I am sure that you could keep the property in the family. You could will it to a cousin or some other relative that shows an interest in maintaining the property.
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I don’t want to hang onto the inheritance for wont of worldly possessions, but because I want to use the land for good purposes (such as making firewood available at an inexpensive price so that others might be able to make it through the winter this year, given the cost of heating oil) and the only way I can do that is if I myself maintain control over it. There is a great deal of potential for the land for other things and I hate passing up great opportunities. Plus when you own 40 acres of forest, those are your trees, and it’s quite something to own thousands of them.

I’ve examined the family line and I have the strongest claim; other family members are relatives who are either too distant or incapable of proper management of the land. I don’t say this because I am vain, but of the potential inheritors I am the only one with a college graduation, the ability to run a business, and without problems that may jeopardize the land and allow it to fall into the hands of bad people (such as the gold digger my uncle gives his money to). If I give it to the Church to become a priest, it’s gone for good and if I’m called to leave the priesthood then I can’t have it back.
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Princess18:
Code: 
I always wonder when I read threads like this if becoming a deacon after you're married is an option (for you personally)? We have some wonderful married deacons in our parish that share a great deal of duties with our priests and are absolutely indispensable in our parish.
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I thought that if I married that this would be something I’d have to discuss with my wife.
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Rising_Suns:
Dear Larowyn,
May I ask how old you are?
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23, as it says in my profile.
 
Larowyn,

The question of what to do with the inheritance really depends on whether you’re called to religious or diocesan priesthood. Religious take vows of poverty, but diocesan make a promise of simplicity of life. The promise of the diocesan does not preclude owning or inheriting land, especially if the priest wishes to use it to further his ministry. You mentioned developing the property in such a way as to help the poor, which would definitely fall within the ministry of a priest. Obviously, this is something you would have to bring up to the bishop of any diocese you chose, assuming you don’t feel called to a particular religious order.

A word of advice, if I may. As you discern, let the future work itself out. Don’t worry about the land, don’t worry about “what could happen if…” Focus your discernment on God’s will for your life. Focus on where God wants you to go now. If He’s calling you to the seminary, go to the seminary. If he’s calling you to the married life, pursue that vocation. It sounds like your parents are still alive, so you won’t have to worry about the inheritance at this time. If the time comes that you have to worry about disposition of the land, you could use your business acumen to set up a non-profit organization that could manage the land however you wish. In your discernment, focus on where God wants you to live your life in service of Him and let Him handle the future. I know it’s difficult to let Him handle control of our lives, but following a vocation is all about trusting God to control our lives.
 
such a person would go through the same discernment process as any other man. being an only child, with or without an inheritence, should be irrelevant to the matter of discerning a vocation.
 
Grow where you are planted.

God has placed you in a position where you will inherit a lot of money and land. This is no coincidence. God has blessed you with this and wants you to use your blessings in the service of him.

As you stated, you have good business acumen. Perhaps you could use the land and the money to do good deeds. You may be able to use this estate to care for the poor, sick, or orphaned of society. You may be able to give a portion of this land to a Religious Order.

You could set up a charity or you could start a Catholic Apologetic Society. You could even begin operating a local Catholic Radio Show. You could win many converts for the faith.

Another idea is to use the home as a Retreat Center. You could invite the Dominicans or Jesuits to give retreats on your land. This Retreat Center could revitalise the faith of hundreds if not thousands of people.

You could even allow pro-life groups to use or rent a portion of your estate as a base of operations.

You could found a Catholic Information Center. You could hire guest speakers to teach seminars and classes to Catholics around the country.

The sky is the limit.

I am not telling you to forget about the priesthood. I am just telling you to think of the possibilities. You can live a life in service of the Lord without becoming a priest.

You could even ask the local Diocese to open or build a Vocations Centre on your land. You could be directly responsible for producing hundreds of Priests! Just think about it.
 
puzzleannie said:
such a person would go through the same discernment process as any other man. being an only child, with or without an inheritence, should be irrelevant to the matter of discerning a vocation.
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Amen! Heaven is populated with Saints who were only children, as well as the children of the wealthy who renounced everything and served the Lord. They are our role models.

Christ’s peace.
 
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