Pretend for a moment that you are a teacher, and you are teaching children how to read. Most of the children are having a hard time, because learning to read isn’t easy. But there are a few who just seem to get it.
Do you spend all your time praising the children who get it, or do you spend most of your time with the kids who don’t?
Do you kick the kids who don’t get it right away out of class, because obviously they aren’t trying hard enough and won’t get it anyway? Or do you keep them after class to help them, explain things to them, and do your very best to help them understand?
What about the kid who gets extremely frustrated and screams at you, throws the book at you and decides that reading is outdated, unnecessary? The one who says smugly that he knows he’s right and you can’t make him learn if he doesn’t want to? Do you let him drop out of school, because he’s a lost cause? Or do you tell him about all the beauty and wonder and adventure and excitement that he can find between the pages of a book? About how nothing can stop him from knowing anything if he can read the written word? Do you try to inspire a passion for reading in him, or do you consider him a lost cause and turn him loose?
What about the kid who was homeschooled, and badly? He’s nineteen years old, sitting with the children because he doesn’t know how to read yet. It’s not his fault he doesn’t know, and it might not even be his parent’s fault, provided they did the absolute best they could to teach him. He thinks he knows how to read, and resents being categorized with the first graders, so he’s hostile to you. Do you yell at him that you know how to read, and he doesn’t, so he should just shut up and listen and take everything you say as law because as the teacher, you have authority? Or do you listen to his point of view and then try to reach him, with understanding and compassion? Would you snidely remind him all the time that he’s like a child, or compassionately explain the reasons to do what needs to be done?
What about the kid who was abused by his last teacher? He sits in the back, scared to submit to your authority because the last time he trusted a teacher, he was traumatized. Can you force him to trust you again, to believe that you won’t overstep the bounds of your authority? Do you throw him out of class when he questions what you say? Or do you have some compassion for him and do your best to be an example of a teacher who can be trusted?
What about the kid acting out because his brother just died and he doesn’t know how to handle those feelings? Do you yell at him for acting out and send him to the office? Or would you take him aside and explain to him that it’s okay to be angry/hurt/sad/upset, but it’s not okay to break the rules just because he’s angry/sad/hurt/upset?
The church is a hospital for sinners. We’re all out in this fallen world, picking up bruises and cracked ribs and broken hearts. The Church is the place we come for healing and answers and forgiveness. Why would any hospital send a victim of a gunshot wound out onto the streets to fend for himself? They wouldn’t. In the same way, a church shouldn’t send struggling people out on to the streets to fend for themselves just because they’re sinning.
It baffles me that this thread is 38 pages long. The answer is no. Cafeteria Catholics don’t need to run off and throw away the Church altogether. They need caring, compassionate people to remind them of the beauty and purpose of all these things they reject, and to extend some open arms and hearts and show some compassion.
No, we can’t tell them they’re doing the right thing in rejecting Church teachings. But we can encourage them to seek answers, and give any answers we’ve found ourselves. We can encourage them to go to confession and receive the Eucharist and follow the Church by faith if not by sight, until they can reach a better understanding. We can remind them that some things aren’t comprehensible, and remind them of God’s unfailing love and mercy. We can show them the truth in love, as their brothers and sisters in Christ.
Why are we here, learning all we can through apologetics and conversation, if we’re just going to let people walk out without trying to help them? Why are we trying to draw people to the faith with our answers to all these hard questions if we’re letting people walk out without those same answers?
