Should Catholic parents attend gay child's nuptials?

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title is an oxymoron. Nuptial is a word which applies exclusively to the marriage rite, and since such a rite is a natural, moral and legal impossibility, the question must be rephrased. but okay we understand the question. No under no circumstances may Catholic parents legitimize such attempts to mock the sacrament of matrimony, nor give such tacit approval to the lifestyle being adopted by their child. This would apply if the child is in a heterosexual relationship outside marriage, using illegal drugs, or engaged in any other risk-taking activity that is endangering his welfare and immortal soul, and giving scandal to others.
 
I would not attend. I honestly don’t think my child would expect me to. I have raised her from day one about the teachings of God and his church, she would know I believe there is no such thing as gay marriage as far as God is concerned. And although I would give my life for her, she knows we must love God above all else.

If I had moved in with my boyfriend before marriage I would not asked my parents to help with the move. If my child chooses to rebel against God that is her free will, out of respect for her parents I don’t think she would (or should) expect them to join her.
 
As Catholics, we are called to defense of the Truth. This is your child, therefore you have the obligation of seeing to it that this blasphemous mockery of marriage does not take place. If, even in the presence of your repeated objections to and sustained efforts to stop the ceremony, your child obstinately goes through with this travesty, then the best thing that you can do, as a parent, is to completely sever any form of contact with him until he comes to his senses and demonstrates his willingness to once again embrace the Truth by attending and making progress in reparative therapy.
 
I can think of no greater abuse of parental love than to tell a child, even an adult child, by my actions that his choices are harmless, when in fact, those choices are a direct route to his physical, psychogical and spiritual damage. That is not love, that is not acceptance, that is child abuse. Strong language for a strong topic. The worst sin a parent can commit is to abuse a child’s trust, and that includes the gratuitous lie: do it honey if it makes you feel good because I want you to be “happy”. A sinful choice never leads to happiness, only to misery, so to condone it is to wish unhappiness on your child.
 
There is absolutely no way I would give my approval by attending as a witness to this “marriage”.
 
If my son was gay and wanted to ‘marry’ his partner, I would not attend.

I wouldn’t want to meet his partner ever and I would tell him that I didn’t want to hear any gay talk.

If he kept flaunting it, I would disown him.
 
I don’t know what it would be, but by church law, it would not be a marriage. The church defines that a marriage is between a man and a woman … one of each. Not two men, not two women, not a boy and his dog, not a woman and her pony, not a set of three or more.

So, would I attend an event that mocked the church’s teaching and natural law? No.

Real true love does not encourage someone to persist in sin to avoid hurt feelings.
 
To me this would be like embracing an adulterous relationship of one of your children. Simply to speak of accepting their love doesn’t quite seem a fitting reaction. I can understand not wanting to offend your own child, but still is love (if it is love) a reason for embracing something against God?
 
whatevergirl said:
I would attend, for I believe Jesus’ greatest Commandment to us is to love our neighbor as ourselves. To show up would show love…and I would leave his/her moral state in God’s hands.
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Jesus said the the FIRST greatest commandment was to love God, and loving God, as Jesus says, means obeying Him, teaching others to do the same. If we love our neighbors we would not show our approval for an action that offends God, an action that he has forbidden with disgust, an action that can send him/her/them to Hell.
Consenting to another’s sin is a sin itself, and the more serious the “original sin” the more serious the sin of the one approving. It is not love for you to consent to choices that can send your neighbor to Hell; it’s wanting to be approved yourself.
 
We would not debase our Lord by attending such a farce. Nor would we help condemn our son to a godless life by supporting such nonsense. Not a chance.

CDL
 
I would attend.

All of you who would shun the child should ask yourselves this: “Are my actions more likely to lead the child back to the Faith or drive him or her further from it?”
 
Penny_Plain said:
I would attend.

All of you who would shun the child should ask yourselves this: “Are my actions more likely to lead the child back to the Faith or drive him or her further from it?”
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Not attending is not shunning.
 
NewUlm1976_2000 said:
I would attend without a second thought. There would be no conflict if they would end up in that style of relationship. As long as they are happy and find true love (with all the usual ups and downs).
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As long as they claim to be “happy”? Is that the standard now?
 
Penny_Plain said:
I would attend.

All of you who would shun the child should ask yourselves this: “Are my actions more likely to lead the child back to the Faith or drive him or her further from it?”
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What you are suggesting to do is forbidden by the Church. Jesus is against it, St. Paul speaks against it, and how to treat those who blow of His message…good grief, God destroyed cities because of this sin, and you would show your children approval? Being a parent is not about being your child’s buddy or pal. When a child acts inappropriately they are disciplined, they’re bad behavior is not to be tolerated or supported. As adults you can’t discipline them so what do you do? Nobody leads people to the Faith by disobeying it. In the words of Kimberly Hahn, you can’t say "Well, I know what the Church says about…but *I *think…Showing your child that behavior earning them a one-way ticket to Hell is okay is not love, it’s permissiveness. Padre Pio, excuse me, Saint Pio, chased a woman out of the confessional because her daughters were in Hell due to her “tolerance” of immorality.
 
Mary:

I would not attend.

A marriage may seem trivial until one knows what is really happening.

The reality is this. Two people have given up to the inflictive temptation of HS. This is grave, as it borders on the unforgivable sin in that these have resigned themselves to it. They have decided their condition is hopeless even though the Church/Scripture says it is a temptation. They have given up the trust of the Word which in these literate times is readily available to everyone. So then what is the ritual we are seeing?.

Since God clearly states HS is a sin, and He presides over every sanctified marriage, then the only being left to preside is the demon, and this has the added bonus for him in that it taunts God and smears the Holiness of His Sacrament. Since it is not a sanctified ritual, it is an occult ritual, and the demon gleefully sanctions what he had hoped would happen.

Difficult has it is for parents, even here we need to make the statement and provide yet again a teaching opportunity for those who went astray, as they are still alive and it is not too late for them. The parents can be comforted by their alliance to God by their past determination and none acceptance of this deviant lifestyle. The parents are saying by their choice, “I will ask God to be patient and that one day you will see the error of your way”. It is extremely important that in this late stage in the learning process that the parents do not go to this ritual. All eyes will be watching. The non attendance will set off just what is required; an opportunity to spread the Word.

AndyF
 
latinmasslover said:
What you are suggesting to do is forbidden by the Church. Jesus is against it, St. Paul speaks against it, and how to treat those who blow of His message…good grief, God destroyed cities because of this sin, and you would show your children approval? Being a parent is not about being your child’s buddy or pal. When a child acts inappropriately they are disciplined, they’re bad behavior is not to be tolerated or supported. As adults you can’t discipline them so what do you do? Nobody leads people to the Faith by disobeying it. In the words of Kimberly Hahn, you can’t say "Well, I know what the Church says about…but *I *think…Showing your child that behavior earning them a one-way ticket to Hell is okay is not love, it’s permissiveness. Padre Pio, excuse me, Saint Pio, chased a woman out of the confessional because her daughters were in Hell due to her “tolerance” of immorality.
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Attending is not the same thing as being a buddy, and it is not the same thing as demonstrating approval of the behaviour.

If Padre Pio did what you say he did, I think he was wrong.
 
AndyF said:
Since God clearly states HS is a sin, and He presides over every sanctified marriage, then the only being left to preside is the demon, and this has the added bonus for him in that it taunts God and smears the Holiness of His Sacrament. Since it is not a sanctified ritual, it is an occult ritual, and the demon gleefully sanctions what he had hoped would happen.
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This would be a civil marriage, not a church marriage. Does the demon preside over civil marriages as well?
 
latinmasslover said:
Padre Pio, excuse me, Saint Pio, chased a woman out of the confessional because her daughters were in Hell due to her “tolerance” of immorality.
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That’s… pretty horrifying. Wasn’t he there to absolve her of her sins?
 
In my opinion there is no way that attendance would not be a sign of at least a possible approval of the gravely sinful action by the parent.

If the parent attends, the son or daughter involved in this mockery of marriage would inevitably think something like: “Well, dad and/or mom *say *they don’t approve and that my actions are gravely sinful, but since they are here they can’t think it’s that bad after all…”

IMO if I were a parent, I would not want my child to have the slightest doubt concerning my absolute disapproval of his or her choice to take one of the most direct paths to Hell.

However I am not a parent so I am not going to say that I know I am right. This is just my take on this issue. At any rate, it is clearly the obligation of the parent to make send a clear message to the child that his or her actions are very, very wrong and completely opposed to God’s plan.
Mirdath said:
That’s… pretty horrifying. Wasn’t he there to absolve her of her sins?
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One of the requirements for a valid absolution is that the penitent be contrite (at least imperfectly) for his or her sins. Nobody who goes to confession has a right to absolution, it is purely a gift of God, and the Lord has entrusted the responsibility to either grant OR deny the absolution to His priests. Priests have to take this very seriously.

St. Padre Pio had the gift of reading people’s souls. If this situation really did happen and If he knew that the woman was not contrite for her sins, then he could not give her absolution because it would be invalid and would be an abuse on his part. Toleration of gravely immoral behavior is itself gravely sinful.

Having some knowledge of St. Pio myself, I cannot honestly believe that he would even think of denying a contrite sinner absolution, no matter how grave the sinner’s sins were.
 
There would be no way I could not attend if a child of mine were seeking to be joined in holy union to their partner.

There’s not many joys that gay people have when it comes to society as a whole affirming their relationships.

Right or wrong? Love demands nothing less but that I attend…there is One who entered into our humanity to show his love, there is One who was not afraid to sit with the publicans, harlots and sinners of his day because it might offend the religious, so too he calls me to attend in his stead…to show love, where love is needed, kindness where it it sadly lacking and mercy even if I should disagree, because mercy was shown to me in no small measure.
 
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