Petergee:
I’ll repeat a situation I just posted, and let you decide who was acting like the man’s family…
A man who contracted AIDS during the early 1980’s was diagnosed sometime in 1985 while trying to donate blood. Shortly thereafter, he called his parents, who lived in the Midwest, to see if he could come home. When he revealed that he had AIDS, his father not only refused to allow him to come him, he also disowned him and forbade any further contact between him and the rest of his family. Except for occasional calls and letters from his mother, NO ONE in his family contacted him for the next 7 years. And, because his father threw away all mail from him and deleted all messages from him and refused to talk to him, gradually even his mother lost contact…
During the next 8 years, his gay friends took care of him - They cooked his meals, took him to the doctor when he got sick, made him take his meds (this was when the treatments for AIDS were AZT & Prayer), took care of his nausea & even paid his bills when he couldn’t. But the day came when he seriously began to lose the fight, and the PA (my Curate) who was treating him tried to call his “Father” to inform him that the son he had disowned was gravely ill. At first, the man’s “Father” tried to say he didn’t have a son who was gay. My Curate has told me he heard the voice of a woman sobbing, and the wife’s sobbing was the only reason the “Father” acknowledged that he had a son.
A week later, the “Father” arrived at the hospital (He had forbidden the rest of the family from coming) where my Curate’s patient was being treated for End-Stage AIDS. He flew into a rage as soon as he saw his son’s friends waiting outside the door of his hospital room. I don’t think I need to repeat what he said, but the language did not reflect hospital decorum, let alone his position as the pastor of a Baptist Congregation. No sooner had he finished confronting this man’s gay friends, then he was at the Nurses’ Station demanding that, “Those (SWD) are NOT to be allowed to see my son under ANY circumstances.” Please remember, these friends were the people who had taken care of this man for most of the previous 8 years…
He had no sooner finished at the Nurses’ Station when he stormed into the room - To remind his “son” in NO UNCERTAIN terms (Pointing at his “son”), “This (SWD) is NOT my son!” and (pointing at himself), “I am NOT your father.” “you got what you deserved, and hope you rot in hell”
He then promptly left, and took the next plane home, making sure NO ONE from this poor man’s family visited while he was dying.
Every day, for the next 10 days, my Curate’s patient’s gay friends went to the Nurses’ Station and begged to see their friend. Every day they were told that his “Father”, the one who had disowned him, had forbidden any contact between them and their friend.
I have to correct part of my original post on this…
My Curate started taking as much time as he could to see his patient almost immediately after this happened. He talked to his pastor within a day or two, and his pastor used the “Clergy Exemption” to see to see this poor man 6-7 times during his final 2 weeks. During his last week, my Curate’s patient was Baptized and received the Eucharist 5x and received the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick 2x.
Finally, my Curate and the Doctor he was working under managed to write up “Doctor’s Orders” which allowed his patient to see his friends during his last few days.
To this day, my Curate can’t tell this to me without weeping.
Who do you think ACTED more like family to this dying young man?
Your Brothe & Servant in Christ, Michael
