Should I attend this marriage?

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Bruised_Reed said:
The dispensation is something the couple asked for so the non-Catholic party may marry outside of the Catholic church (otherwise, if the Catholic party really considers themselves Catholic, this is a “defect of form” and marriage null from the start).

I never considered that an invited guest could ask for a dispensation. Can they? For this, specifically?
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The Catholic Church does not forbid one from attending a wedding that the Church does not recognize the validity of, therefore there is no need for a dispensation to attend, although there are other considerations that one must take into account before one decides whether or not they should attend.

From Shoul I Attend?
The Catholic Church does not explicitly prohibit Catholics from attending weddings whose validity she does not recognize. There are certain moral principles, however, that should be considered before a Catholic decides how to proceed. Most importantly, Catholics must avoid any actions that cause scandal or encourage others to sin.
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Conclusion of article
Conclusion
Anyone invited to the wedding of a couple whose marriage does not promote the truth should prayerfully consider his actions. Using the teachings explained in the Catechism, he should ask ourselves, “How can I avoid participating in their sin, yet encourage their salvation? How can I avoid scandal, yet encourage the salvation of others?” Anyone in this situation should discuss the matter with a spiritual director or in the confessional before making the decision. Whatever one’s decision may be, a Catholic should strive to give a clear and charitable witness to the faith. The Catholic Church does not teach whether we must or must not attend. Christ does say we must witness to the truth in a charitable manner. If loved ones or friends go through with the wedding, a Catholic should look for opportunities to maintain contact and witness to the truth. Above all, our decisions and actions must promote the salvation of souls. In fostering the salvation of souls, the Two Great Commandments are fulfilled.
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MariaG said:
How is the question to the apologist different?

One person is Catholic the other is not. I am not seeing the difference?

God bless,
Maria
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“Can Catholics participate in a non-Catholic wedding?”

Is not the same as:

Should a Catholic attend an invalid Marriage of a non-practicing Catholic?
 
Br.Rich_SFO said:
“Can Catholics participate in a non-Catholic wedding?”

Is not the same as:

Should a Catholic attend an invalid Marriage of a non-practicing Catholic?
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Yes, but if you read the link, it is a non-Catholic wedding of a Catholic and a non-Catholic. It covers the subjects of dispensations and the further link gets into the subject specifically of attending an invalid marriage of a non-practicing Catholic.
 
Br.Rich_SFO said:
I think what many are missing is that if one or both were Baptized Catholic and have not formally left the Catholic faith, then if they attempt to Marry not in accord with Catholic Canon Law, NO MARRIAGE TAKES PLACE. It does not matter how much they love each other, it does not matter how much their family loves and supports them.

It only encourages them to live as though they were married, committing a number of serious, possibly Mortal sins, Which if unrepented, Confessed and absolved, will effect their Eternal life after this earthly life is over. Which might very well be tomorrrow!
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Actually, per the CCC, the liceity of the marriage is in question if they are both baptized (mixed marriage) - not the validity of the marriage. For a marriage with a non-Christian - then validity is an issue:

“1635
According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority.137 In case of disparity of cult an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage.138 This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage; and furthermore that the Catholic party confirms the obligations, which have been made known to the non-Catholic party, of preserving his or her own faith and ensuring the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church.” (emphasis added)
 
johnnykins said:
Actually, per the CCC, the liceity of the marriage is in question if they are both baptized (mixed marriage) - not the validity of the marriage. For a marriage with a non-Christian - then validity is an issue:

“1635
According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority.137 In case of disparity of cult an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage.138 This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage; and furthermore that the Catholic party confirms the obligations, which have been made known to the non-Catholic party, of preserving his or her own faith and ensuring the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church.” (emphasis added)
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I believe that this is just covering the fact of a Catholic marrying a non-catholic.

There is another dispensation required to marry outside of the Catholic Church, which if not retained causes a defect of form. If there is a defect of form in a marriage then there is no marriage in the eyes of the Catholic Church.

As can be seen when we read the Code of Canon Law.

Can. 1108 §1. Only those marriages are valid which are contracted before the local ordinary, pastor, or a priest or deacon delegated by either of them, who assist, and before two witnesses according to the rules expressed in the following canons and without prejudice to the exceptions mentioned in cann. 144, 1112, §1, 1116, and 1127, §§1-2.
 
I had two very close relatives marry outside the church without formally leaving the Faith. They are still considered Catholic, albeit, lapsed. Therefore, they are still bound by Canon Law.

My wife and I didn’t go to either wedding, after prayerfully explaining to the relatives why we couldn’t, in good conscience, attend. Most of the families in our extended family know that I am fairly knowledgeable about the Faith. Therefore, for me to attend would have given the subtle message that “everything is okay here even though there is no priest and it isn’t in a Catholic Church.”

It’s not easy. I won’t blow smoke and say it is. You have to pray a lot.

I know that both relatives are looking at normalizing their relationships with the Church. Is this in spite of my actions? Is it because of my actions? I don’t know. But I know one thing: I can look at myself in the mirror.
 
The Catholic Church could probably eliminate a lot of these issues if it simply removed from its rolls the Catholics who haven’t been to Mass in over 5 years or some such. Only the most derangedly bitter of former Catholics bother with the request to the Bishop to remove them from the Catholic Church’s rules. I haven’t done it yet for instance, and the odds of me returning to the Catholic Church would make the most hard-core long odds gambler take a pass.

Or maybe the Church could set up a website in order to quickly and easily remove people from the roles then when people are stuck in this situation they could ask the lapsed Catholic bride or groom to remove themselves from the Church, which frankly I find as rude as asking about a dispensation (such should be personal between the priests and the couple in question not pried into by other folks).
 
“He that loveth father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.”

“And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for My name’s sake, shall receive a hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.”
 
Mike,

Just so you know, I didn’t make this decision lightly, nor was I happy to do it. I knew full well the implications of my decision. I consulted canon lawyers, priests, deacons, and many reputable sources like:

Homiletic and Pastoral Review
St. Joseph Canon Law Foundation
St. Joseph’s Communications tapes
EWTN website
and, to top it off, my private confessor agreed and told me I shouldn’t attend

I was crying the day of their ceremonies. I was heartbroken at their decisions, but it was they who made the poor choices. I responded as charitably as I could, but I could not go.

I know I’ve incurred the ire of many people in my family. I know that family gatherings are awkward (though it is getting better). But my motivation was to be able to look my Lord square in the face and say, “I did what you told me to do.”

Please don’t talk down on me by trying to make me feel bad about this.
 
Windmill said:
Mike,

Just so you know, I didn’t make this decision lightly, nor was I happy to do it. I knew full well the implications of my decision. I consulted canon lawyers, priests, deacons, and many reputable sources like:

Homiletic and Pastoral Review
St. Joseph Canon Law Foundation
St. Joseph’s Communications tapes
EWTN website
and, to top it off, my private confessor agreed and told me I shouldn’t attend

I was crying the day of their ceremonies. I was heartbroken at their decisions, but it was they who made the poor choices. I responded as charitably as I could, but I could not go.

I know I’ve incurred the ire of many people in my family. I know that family gatherings are awkward (though it is getting better). But my motivation was to be able to look my Lord square in the face and say, “I did what you told me to do.”

Please don’t talk down on me by trying to make me feel bad about this.
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I want to commend you on your faithfulness and for standing up for the truth. This is what the martyrs have done.

I just pray to God that when I am faced with such a thing that I will be able to stand up for the Truth no matter what as you have done.
 
Windmill said:
Mike,

Just so you know, I didn’t make this decision lightly, nor was I happy to do it. I knew full well the implications of my decision. I consulted canon lawyers, priests, deacons, and many reputable sources like:

Homiletic and Pastoral Review
St. Joseph Canon Law Foundation
St. Joseph’s Communications tapes
EWTN website
and, to top it off, my private confessor agreed and told me I shouldn’t attend

I was crying the day of their ceremonies. I was heartbroken at their decisions, but it was they who made the poor choices. I responded as charitably as I could, but I could not go.

I know I’ve incurred the ire of many people in my family. I know that family gatherings are awkward (though it is getting better). But my motivation was to be able to look my Lord square in the face and say, “I did what you told me to do.”

Please don’t talk down on me by trying to make me feel bad about this.
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I would not have made the same decision, but obviously you put a lot of prayer and thought into it, so I’m not judging you (nor should I). Hopefully, you and your family can make amends.
 
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