Should I be ashamed for confessing the same thing almost weekly?

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I am 33 and I admit I have a serious problem with chastity. I have become very religious; I go to church nearly every day; but my prior life before the Spirit lit up in me and turned me from agnostic at best to being completely devoted with Christ, to the point I am told by others I should be a priest, and myself am pondering it; but lust was something I just can’t seem to win over. I know it hurts me spiritually but it was such a habit, at times I feel I am in chains to it. My question though is; should I feel ashamed for confessing this same thing nearly every week? At some point is my priest going to be like " you know what I am not forgiving you this time". Like I’m not scared of going to confession at all, I am more scared that my priest sees me confess constantly the same thing yet I never seem to stop the sin. It bothers me.
 
As someone who’s been there, done that (well, honestly, struggling with it on an on-going basis) let me kindly say this:

Yes, feel ashamed - but only in terms of letting that shame help you heal. Don’t (and I mean DO NOT) let it keep you from the confessional.

No, I would be surprised if any priest stopped pardoning a sincere person. They get it. They understand the struggle. They also know you’re not alone.

One of the priests I confess to often compares confession to going to the gym to workout - we gotta keep at it, and we’re not going to master the marathon after the first training session.

You’ll be in my prayers.
 
Cor_ad_Cor said:
As someone who’s been there, done that (well, honestly, struggling with it on an on-going basis) let me kindly say this:

Yes, feel ashamed - but only in terms of letting that shame help you heal. Don’t (and I mean DO NOT) let it keep you from the confessional.

No, I would be surprised if any priest stopped pardoning a sincere person. They get it. They understand the struggle. They also know you’re not alone.

One of the priests I confess to often compares confession to going to the gym to workout - we gotta keep at it, and we’re not going to master the marathon after the first training session.

You’ll be in my prayers.
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Thank you. That was very encouraging to hear. God bless.
 
jas84173 said:
I am 33 and I admit I have a serious problem with chastity. I have become very religious; I go to church nearly every day; but my prior life before the Spirit lit up in me and turned me from agnostic at best to being completely devoted with Christ, to the point I am told by others I should be a priest, and myself am pondering it; but lust was something I just can’t seem to win over. I know it hurts me spiritually but it was such a habit, at times I feel I am in chains to it. My question though is; should I feel ashamed for confessing this same thing nearly every week? At some point is my priest going to be like " you know what I am not forgiving you this time". Like I’m not scared of going to confession at all, I am more scared that my priest sees me confess constantly the same thing yet I never seem to stop the sin. It bothers me.
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A good priest will never turn away a sincere penitent. If sinful habits were easy to cast off, then we wouldn’t need confession.
 
As my former confessor said before he retired, “God is realistic, he doesn’t expect a perfect result, but he expects a sincere effort”.

You might want to check out what the CCC says about “force of ingrained habit” (and other factors) which can reduce the culpability from such things from mortal to venial. But that’s something to discuss with your confessor, nobody here can make that assessment. (see CCC 2352).
 
Cor_ad_Cor said:
As someone who’s been there, done that (well, honestly, struggling with it on an on-going basis) let me kindly say this:

Yes, feel ashamed - but only in terms of letting that shame help you heal. Don’t (and I mean DO NOT) let it keep you from the confessional.

No, I would be surprised if any priest stopped pardoning a sincere person. They get it. They understand the struggle. They also know you’re not alone.

One of the priests I confess to often compares confession to going to the gym to workout - we gotta keep at it, and we’re not going to master the marathon after the first training session.

You’ll be in my prayers.
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A very good answer. Thank you.

Ed
 
Are you getting better? Maybe fewer instances? Showing progress would be helpful.

Ascothers have said, God knows we are human, and we will fail. He just wants us to try to be better.
 
What the people above said is true: if you have the intention not to sin again, then you are going in the right direction.

The problem could be that whatever you are doing to put into effect your resolution not to commit this sin again is not working. Maybe you do not know the measures you need to take to avoid this sin.

The best thing to do would be to talk to a good priest who can help you come up with a plan to accomplish this.

Let me add that trying to go towards something is better than simply trying to avoid the sin with gritted teeth. Substitute the sin with a beautiful goal to work towards.
 
Confession is a place for healing, not a test to pass.
Keep trying. That’s all you can do. One day, you will overcome whatever is troubling you. Precisely because you have confessed ti regularly. Grace. Strength. Resolve.
All found in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
God bless.
 
From St. John Chrystostom:

Do not be ashamed to enter again into the Church. Be ashamed when you sin. Do not be ashamed when you repent. Pay attention to what the devil did to you. These are two things: sin and repentance. Sin is a wound; repentance is a medicine. Just as there are for the body wounds and medicines, so for the soul are sins and repentance. However, sin has the shame and repentance possesses the courage.
 
Do you want new sins to confess? Certainly not! Of all sins, sexual sin is the most embarrassing - and rightly so. However, you must have a firm intention to amend your life. That includes praying for the grace to resist the sin, making physical changes in your lifestyle or habits, ridding yourself of possessions that trigger the desire to sin. Even seeking counseling if that is appropriate.
 
jas84173 said:
I am 33 and I admit I have a serious problem with chastity. I have become very religious; I go to church nearly every day; but my prior life before the Spirit lit up in me and turned me from agnostic at best to being completely devoted with Christ, to the point I am told by others I should be a priest, and myself am pondering it; but lust was something I just can’t seem to win over. I know it hurts me spiritually but it was such a habit, at times I feel I am in chains to it. My question though is; should I feel ashamed for confessing this same thing nearly every week? At some point is my priest going to be like " you know what I am not forgiving you this time". Like I’m not scared of going to confession at all, I am more scared that my priest sees me confess constantly the same thing yet I never seem to stop the sin. It bothers me.
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Dear Jas,

This question is beautifully answered in a book by the current Pope called “The Name of God is Mercy.”

In one of his reflections therein, he makes an important distinction between:
  1. a “boilerplate confession” (my term, not the Pope’s) - which is mechanical, perfunctory, and routine, and usually about trivial things (“I yelled at my dog”, etc.)
and
  1. confessing a serious or troublesome sin repeatedly with a purpose of amendment, even if one stumbles. This, according to the Pope, is praiseworthy because it gives one a chance to humble oneself as well as to receive grace from the Sacrament. So don’t worry; if you stumble, pick yourself up and confess again. 🙂
 
Honestly, a little bit of shame is very good for the old ego. We have to be aware that we often wear masks, and we feel uncomfortable when those masks slip and reveal our true faces. So be it. We need to get over ourselves and our constant need to be liked and admired and respected and thought to be wonderful people. And all of us are that way to one degree or another.

I would also say that speaking about this as being some sort of strong habit or compulsion can itself become a bit of a mask. I think it’s important to discern in one’s own life whether this sort of behavior is, at the heart of things, really something that one sincerely desires to stop doing. The idea that one is powerless can be a pose.
 
Thank you! I truly needed a laugh today, and that certainly did it.

Life is a struggle, and not always because we can be our own worst enemies. I think even St Paul had a pointed comment about his own struggles.

God bless!
 
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