Should I call her?

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I had a date with a great girl over the weekend. We had dinner on Saturday and went to Mass on Sunday. At the end of Mass on Sunday, she said she enjoyed dinner, and I said I enjoyed it, too. We hugged for maybe 3 seconds, and I kissed her on the cheek - we did that on Saturday, too, when I walked her to her car after dinner. I told her I would call her sometime. I texted her last night that I hope she had a great first day at work - didn’t say anything about the date or seeing her again in the text - and she hasn’t texted back yet. She’s also studying for a mid-term. Should I call her to ask to see her again? Today? Tomorrow?

Thank you!
 
DateAnalysis
Oh, my favourite subject seems to have made an account. 😉
I had a date with a great girl over the weekend. We had dinner on Saturday and went to Mass on Sunday. At the end of Mass on Sunday, she said she enjoyed dinner, and I said I enjoyed it, too. We hugged for maybe 3 seconds, and I kissed her on the cheek - we did that on Saturday, too, when I walked her to her car after dinner. I told her I would call her sometime. I texted her last night that I hope she had a great first day at work - didn’t say anything about the date or seeing her again in the text - and she hasn’t texted back yet. She’s also studying for a mid-term. Should I call her to ask to see her again? Today? Tomorrow?

Thank you!
Yes, and probably be the best time would be when you actually feel like calling her, since you’ll be motivated. Don’t overcalculate it, be natural.

Sometimes busy people take time to notice a text message, let alone reply to it, and they might actually not reply if there isn’t question there that clearly needs an answer (“how are you?” is not necessarily such a question to many people). While a girl who really is into you would probably have replied reasonably soon, even real time, still just because she hasn’t replied doesn’t mean she’s giving you some horribly low priority. Don’t worry about it but you can talk to her about the lack of replying. (That’s a small matter, not a big matter, so keep it in proportion. The shorter and more light-hearted the better and if you overdo it, you’ll appear controlling.)

In such situations you want to be as natural as possible unless you’re unlearning some bad habits or teaching yourself some good ones on purpose. But don’t think in terms of will it work. You don’t really want just about any girl who is attractive to you, you need someone who will be comfortable with the real you. Make the trial version the same software as the fully licensed software. 😉
 
When is her mid-term? If you want to ask her out for this weekend don’t wait until Thursday or Friday to call her. If you wait until then, it may give the impression that you were waiting to see if something “better” came along for the weekend. It doesn’t have to be a long conversation. You can just let her know that you are thinking about her and praying for her to do well on the exam. Then you can ask her out.

Good luck!
 
Don’t overthink it!! When I was still dating, I HATED the whole “don’t call her for X amount of days” rule. If you think she had a good time, and you had a good time, then why not just call her to talk a little about it? Just tell her again that you had a great time, and you would love to do it again sometime. That doesn’t mean you have to get together today or tomorrow… it could be on the weekend, or next week, or anything! But as the girl in the dating world, I always hated that feeling of waiting for too long. Especially after I thought we had a real connection. I’m not saying you have to be overly forward or clingy (for Heaven’s sake, don’t be clingy!), but what would STOP you from giving her a call if you are wanting to? Go for it!!!
 
Don’t overthink it!! When I was still dating, I HATED the whole “don’t call her for X amount of days” rule. If you think she had a good time, and you had a good time, then why not just call her to talk a little about it?
+1 and glad to hear that from the female side of the fence.

From a man’s perspective, women can be very touchy about phoning or texting too often, actually.
 
I’d contact her briefly, mentioning that you don’t want to take up too much of her time as she’s got a mid-term coming up, but asking if she’d like to talk after the exam about maybe doing (whatever you’re thinking) this weekend.
 
Yes. You should. Don’t take up her entire day and don’t call a million times. But get in touch with her and ask her out. And don’t do the “if you have time” or “I know you’re busy” stuff. Let her bring that up. Just ask her out. When she says “well, you know I’m studying for this exam so I can’t on X and Y day” say, “No problem. How about Z day after it’s over?”

That’s it. As other posters said, don’t over think it.
 
+1 and glad to hear that from the female side of the fence.

From a man’s perspective, women can be very touchy about phoning or texting too often, actually.
I always thought the 3 day rule was ridiculous. To me that’s playing mind games and I don’t want to go there. On the flip side I know women who play hard to get…another mind game.

Since everyone is different it is difficult to know what is calling/text too often or not enough. I believe that the man and woman should respect the other’s boundaries if there is so much initial contact that it feels like stalking.

As a 53 year old woman I’m too old to play mind games.
 
I’d contact her briefly, mentioning that you don’t want to take up too much of her time as she’s got a mid-term coming up, but asking if she’d like to talk after the exam about maybe doing (whatever you’re thinking) this weekend.
Yes, she is probably thinking, “Why hasn’t he called!” “He must not really like me.” So for heavens sake - stop pondering and call her.

And, good luck.
 
Thank you for all the responses so far. Yea, I think I’m going to call her tomorrow evening. I don’t want to seem too eager, though, since I just texted her yesterday. I really like her, and I can’t stop thinking about her. So I guess I should give her a call, huh? LOL!
 
Thank you for all the responses so far. Yea, I think I’m going to call her tomorrow evening. I don’t want to seem too eager, though, since I just texted her yesterday. I really like her, and I can’t stop thinking about her. So I guess I should give her a call, huh? LOL!
YES!!! Be sure to let us know how it goes.
 
I always thought the 3 day rule was ridiculous.

To me that’s playing mind games and I don’t want to go there.
It was more of a politeness/protocol rule. It was impolite to take longer and it generally meant a reply shouldn’t be expected past that point. I think it’s a good rule for ensuring some minimal standards of speed in correspondence, but sometimes people need to wait until the weekend or something.

I agree it’s better to follow through anyway. …Although spacing helps weed out the passing attractions, as well as shaking off the unwanted ones. There are advantages there.
On the flip side I know women who play hard to get…another mind game.
I don’t mind that actually if it’s kept within reasonable limits and any false communication comes with enough hints to make it easily known that it’s meant as a joke. What I dislike, though, is hardball tactics like calling off agreed meetings to make the guy starved for contact, or stuff like standing him up to see how angry he will be (how a man processes disappointment and anger valuable and vital information, especially in light of the fact that he’s usually much stronger and more resilient physically than a woman, which creates some imbalance, but the method isn’t particularly nice; I could probably abstain from making an opinion on the matter (on account of individual differences) if a woman openly told me she did in purpose after I passed or fail her test… especially if I passed, LOL, but there’d still be some mistrust.
Since everyone is different it is difficult to know what is calling/text too often or not enough. I believe that the man and woman should respect the other’s boundaries if there is so much initial contact that it feels like stalking.
Yeah, the trouble is nowadays people aren’t really open to talking and coming up with solutions, they prefer to have everything working as expected from the get-go. An adapting mate is less satisfactory than someone who acts as desired out of the box.
Yes, she is probably thinking, “Why hasn’t he called!” “He must not really like me.” So for heavens sake - stop pondering and call her.

And, good luck.
That’s entirely possible. Another reason to do what you consider the right thing, or in the absence of such a right thing, what you need to do to be true to yourself. Just cool it down if she asks you to, and if you don’t have feedback from her then you can always ask for some. Say you’ve noticed she isn’t replying as often as you’re writing and if that means she’s more of a listener type or are you intruding on her private space/communicating too often? A mature girl should be able to handle this type of conversation without it going sour.

Don’t fret over how she will receive your actions, you can only really determine what you do, not how others receive it. Don’t go meta too much. Be yourself and be a good guy, and a girl will either like you or not. If you overcomplicate it, there’s a risk of estranging a girl who would actually have liked the real you if she’d been given a chance! So listen to her and ask her for more information instead of presuming, assuming and otherwise thinking for her.

Sorry for the odd language, I’ve been working on some awful technical contracts for many hours now and it’s hard for me to switch to normal expression right away.
 
It was more of a politeness/protocol rule. It was impolite to take longer and it generally meant a reply shouldn’t be expected past that point. I think it’s a good rule for ensuring some minimal standards of speed in correspondence, but sometimes people need to wait until the weekend or something.
I think we are talking about a different 3 day rule. I’m referring to the one where you meet a man either by being introduced by a friend or meet someone, say at the grocery store, they say they are going to call you and wait 3 days to call. Granted, I only asked male friends over the age of 40. They all agreed that it’s a man rule. I wonder if the under 40 men do this.
 
I think we are talking about a different 3 day rule. I’m referring to the one where you meet a man either by being introduced by a friend or meet someone, say at the grocery store, they say they are going to call you and wait 3 days to call. Granted, I only asked male friends over the age of 40. They all agreed that it’s a man rule. I wonder if the under 40 men do this.
Ah, that. Well, I’ve waited the 3 days on occasions in order not to appear overeager (plenty of history of that) but not really to keep a girl waiting as far as I can recall. Generally, the whole thing with taking numbers and calling was a nightmare. It was a nightmare to me even after facing some thoroughly unimpressed judges. It’s still difficult actually.

IMHO if you’re attractive to a girl, she generally wants you to call and if you’re not, she generally doesn’t want you to call, at least not a lot. In between there’s a long spectrum of more or less ambivalence. But if things go well, she wants you to call. Then again, she has your phone number too in many cases, as one of my early married friends pointed out once. Not phoning a man is a strong rule among traditional women, it still holds. At least as long as her will isn’t broken by the chemistry enough to force her to break her own rules or even principles. Which is why I hate that female rule, I have no desire to be anywhere close to that breaking of will (I’m a great fan of personal freedom with all my lawman’s heart), it’s disgusting to see in most situations, and the whole thing is thoroughly depressing. I specifically avoid using methods of persuasion or personal influence that can lead to such results in most cases (e.g. careful with low/aspirated voice, body language mirroring and other such stuff I shamelessly abused as an adolescent). I want them free and I’m somewhat disgusted when they prefer to be enslaved.
 
Oh, my favourite subject seems to have made an account. 😉
Something tells me that this account isn’t as anonymous as the OP intended it to be.😉

But yes, call her. The worst she can do is turn you down because she’s not interested or doesn’t have time to date. But if you wait too long to call her even if she was interested she will turn you down for playing games or being flaky.
 
If I get her voicemail, should I leave something like, “Hi, xxx, I enjoyed spending time with you over the weekend. Give me a call back when you get a chance. Talk soon.” Short and sweet, no? I don’t want to do the actual asking via voicemail.
 
No, do not ask via voicemail.

Now, please, don’t overthink this and beware thinking this forum is an alternative for basically taking life as it comes! None of us here can prepare you for all permutations of what to do. What if her sister answers? (I have no idea who she lives with)? What if she’s running out the door? What if her microwave catches fire as the phone rings? Point is, as Nike said, “just do it.”
 
If I get her voicemail, should I leave something like, “Hi, xxx, I enjoyed spending time with you over the weekend. Give me a call back when you get a chance. Talk soon.” Short and sweet, no? I don’t want to do the actual asking via voicemail.
Voice-mail is great because it allows you to project a confident manly voice for the girl to rewind and play again a close approximate of 314 slash pi times (we had the pi day a couple of days ago).

The message sounds a big clingy, though, as well as a bit on the precatory side. IMHO by saying, “give me a call back when you get a chance,” you’re telling a girl that you’re okay with not being important for her enough to give you a call back, and that you’re willing to chalk her lack of caring up as lack of having a chance. To give you a call back, she does not need a chance, she needs a decision. Unless I’m really bad at your particular dialect of English since such things can sound different from place to place. “Talk soon,” seems to be on the nudging side.

I’m a bit ambivalent about the “I enjoyed” part. You’d be saying something like that during the date, I think, and at any rate that’s not something you want to say twice (and whenever you’re saying something that you’ve already said before, make that clear by adding “again” or something similar). You can instead thank her for the the good time. I tend to use phrases such as, “this is to let you know,” when communicating such information but I’m a bit on the formal side (and sometimes slightly wordy). Still, you need to follow your style, not mine. Just giving you food for thought.
 
Maybe something like, “Hey, xxx, this is yyy. I had a great time this past weekend. Call me.” We usually talk on the phone on Sundays, though, which she said is the best time for her. But yea, I think I’m going to call her tonight and mix things up a little. LOL!
 
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