Should I even be trying to date right now?

  • Thread starter Thread starter SomeCatholicGuy
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
S

SomeCatholicGuy

Guest
I just started the process of applying to business schools for next fall. From what I’ve read, it takes at least 30 hours (to 60 hours) per application; multiply that by 6 schools, that’s 180 hours minimum. Luckily, I’ve already taken the GMAT, so I don’t have to worry about that anymore. This is not counting school visits plus any ensuing interviews. On top of that, I have a full-time job. I’m guessing it’ll take around 2 hours per day (90 days for 180 hours), if I want to finish most of the applications early, as in round 1. Furthermore, out of all the schools to which I’m applying, only 2 are local; the others are a good number of hours away. So given this situation, should I even be considering dating right now? Then again, I’m 28, and I’m thinking of possibly settling down soon. What do you think? Thank you in advance!
 
I’m 29, and tried to date while getting my MA in English. It was tough, and only workable if you have a very understanding partner! I breezed through my undergraduate with very good grades, but Grad school was a surprise. The workload is brutal.

I know it’s very hard sometimes, but delaying gratification can work wonders. Keep up the hard work, and remember that we’re not living in the 1950’s. People in their late 20’s and early 30’s still have years to find a good spouse and have children.
 
There will always be reasons to say you are too busy or that a relationship wont work at this point in your life. If you meet someone you really want to date, date her! But I do agree that we often find ourselves at a crossroads in life where now seems to be less than ideal.
 
Once you’ve done one application, it doesn’t take nearly as long to do the next application, I’ve found. Just food for thought. The second one will only take about 20 hours, I imagine, because you’ll have thought out your answers on the first one. The third one might take 15. You still have the time it takes to type or write the answers out, but with all your documents and thoughts gathered ahead of time, it won’t take as long as you expect, I suspect. At least, that was true for me.

And I agree with Mike - there’s always a reason why now isn’t the perfect time to date, marry or have children. If the opportunity presents itself, however, I wouldn’t recommend throwing it away because you weren’t planning to devote so much time to it.
 
Don’t allow flirtations to distract you from your duties. But if you meet a good woman who captures both your interest and your heart, that’s another cup of fish.
 
Grad school is not a great dating scene. You hardly have any time to just chill out. The dating I did was only on occasion, just modest stuff.

For this, and plenty of other reasons, I think the whole graduate school structure needs some reexamination in light of the 21st century. As you know, it was developed in 19th century German, when Herr Professor Doktor would take in his apprentice.
 
First things first. If you are considering marriage, you will need to provide for your family with the best income possible and right now, that means concentrating on your education. If you are already seriously seeing someone, she will understand and support you in your studies. If you aren’t seeing anyone in particular, she is waiting for you out there. 🙂
 
Simple…

If you cannot handle the schedule, then cut back. Especially at the Grad school level. Even if you can only take one class at a time. You’re more likely to get high marks that way anyways! If God sends you your future wife, and you miss her because you’re too busy, you may not get another chance. I am married with four kids, with number five coming, and I work full-time. To this day, I will only take two classes at one time. Prioritize, and unless you own your own business (most grad students actually don’t), never let your boss, or your professor, believe that they can command all your time.

Good luck. 👍
 
Don’t push this. Why are you finding it necessary? It seems that there are reasons unknown to us right now on why you feel you need to find someone, and find her now, or find a relationship, and find it now. God doesn’t work that way. Love is patient, love is kind.

Cute Story:
When I was in high school, I asked a friend how I was to get a boyfriend, she was religious Catholic too, and so I could confide in her about it, “Do I pray for a boyfriend?” Yes, you can laugh, I was just this dumpy and awkward. It was high school, and those relationships don’t make it up to a week most times. However I felt I needed one to keep up with everyone else. This friend laughed at my question, and sincerely said, “Well you really need to pray for a good loving husband to come into your life eventually.” So was I to go on feeling inept until then? Yes! How can you miss what you never had? This friend gave great advice, but rarely ever followed it, she fell into temptation a few times, and I never judged her because of it. I only paid great attention to people and their rationale.

Are you trying to keep up with the Joneses?
 
Your studies are more important right now. God works in mysterious ways. What if you meet someone in Grad school? Like someone said already, do not let the person who may be in your life, in your school time, take over your thoughts. I have seen some very astute pupils fail miserably because they could not focus on their studies. If school is what you really want right now, you may be looking at a few more years without a relationship, give or take dating here and there. Ironically enough, mostly all of my cousins were able to achieve their MBA and doctorates within their new fresh marriages, I assume that is because they have a crutch to help out in times they cannot. I am not sure why, actually.
 
In my experience, relationship opportunity either comes not at all or all at once pffft, ohhhh, why does God do that? Talk about pressuring choice decisions! I am very picky, finding just anyone and settling is not hard, I am irritated when invited to events that friends have and there is always now this one single guy trying too hard to be nice (I also detest being set-up, I run the other way, that is super uncomfortable). I know I am picky about wanting to have a devout Catholic man. This is my deal breaker though, if I can’t have that, then I am better off with nothing all. Personality is big, too. If I am picky, though, oh well, that is how God helped me discern, and that is how it will stay. I think what you need to figure out is what is really important in your life, for you, right now, and make a plan for that. Some things have a way of coming into light. Just go with the flow, and like someone said, prioritize!
 
Hope no one minds my separate posting, I get more post credit doing it this way, a tad selfish, I know. :o
 
Wow, you guys see things way farther out that I do! I was actually just concerned with the short-term period of applying to schools. Haven’t even thought about what I would do if I get in yet. What I’m most concerned about is that what if I get in a school that’s thousands of miles away? Can’t really be a good reason to start a relationship. So I’d be like, hey, I’m going to be moving a thousand miles away a year from now, so, you wanna go out?

In any case, I’m kinda overwhelmed as it is right now. So many things to do. I think it’s probably good to lay low for a while, at least till I know for sure whether I’m going to be moving away.

P.S. A light bulb just went on in my head. For those of you who are familiar with my previous thread about that girl, I bet that’s exactly what’s going on in her head, too!
 
There’s only one good reason to start a relationship ever anyway: You love a girl, you hope she’s the one, you get the ball rolling. Other reasons are intrinsically stupid. 😛
 
Well then you seem to understand whether in all of these processes, it is possible for you to do without…, well at least until you get to a more stable and adjusted area/life. You seemed to answer your own question.
 
OLHope said:
Well then you seem to understand whether in all of these processes, it is possible for you to do without…, well at least until you get to a more stable and adjusted area/life. You seemed to answer your own question.
Click to expand...
Yea, this whole business school business had better be worth it, because I’m making a lot of sacrifices.
 
SomeCatholicGuy said:
Yea, this whole business school business had better be worth it, because I’m making a lot of sacrifices.
Click to expand...
👍 You bet it will! It is always a lot of hard work. Imagine how fulfilled and accomplished you will feel. God bless your direction with all of this!
 
I’d say wait. Fill out your applications first. “First things first.” 🙂

And while you may be thinking “short term,” everyone else is thinking “long term.” Which is what I think you might consider doing. You’re already thinking long term with your education.

I wouldn’t rush it. When I was in my early 30’s I was so desperate and lonely. Someone posed the question to me, “If you found the absolutely RIGHT man, and you didn’t find him until you were 50, but your time with him was beyond anything you imagined, would it be worth it?” I thought about that. Yes. It would be.

When I was ready, truly ready, God put someone in my life. I prayed for the man I am with now. And he tells me he prayed for me too.

There’s no rush. Really. 🙂
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top