Should I feel guilty about my vasectomy forever?

[bluerose]

I certainly don’t want the priest to tell me to reverse it because that would be inconvenient for a lot of reasons (although I would if I was told to) but I do think I want some sort of indication that what I’m confessing is or isn’t a valid thing to worry about. Something like a “yeah, not a sin” would be cool, just once. I probably do need to set up a counseling appointment so that I can just hear it directly from a priest that I personally, based on their judgment, do not need to do any sort of a reversal, because no priest has actually told me that in person. So far they’ve just heard my confession and absolved it which to my overanalyzing mind feels like a confirmation of the sinfulness of my basically recreational sex life.

Maybe I’ve missed this and maybe it seems like an obvious thing but… have you directly ASKED the priest if you need to reverse it? I mean, it sounds like you’re waiting for the magic words “it’s not a sin to not have it reversed” but the priest is missing the cue.

I mean, in the course of confession, when you say “I feel I’m misusing my sexuality due to the fact that I’ve had a vasectomy” and the priest responds with “your sins are forgiven”, do you then say, “thank you, Father, but do I need to have my vasectomy reversed?” Because maybe if you spelled out exactly what your concern is, you would probably get a direct answer that you’re seeking.

 

[lonegreywolf20]

To have it reversed is costly and then add on the time it takes to recover and if his job is physical, he won’t be able to return to work for a couple weeks.

It’s not like when you have it done. I was out for a day. So, income could be an issue.

The church doesn’t require it and this may just be a case of him beating himself up over nothing.

 

[Psalm30]

@redcatholic @Elf01 @Saintphilomena The OP has returned and indicated that he has found peace with his situation. Perhaps it is best not to continue suggesting a reversal of the vasectomy or practicing NFP as if the vasectomy never happened. The Church does not require either of these things and it may add to the OP’s anxiety if it continues to be discussed.

 

[redcatholic]

Or he could be open to reversing it later if he wishes. Or he could work on communication with his wife. I liked the suggestion to practice a type of nfp even with the vasectomy. I know you think differently on this issue but the op posted a question for discussion. We are not his wife, his doctor, or his priest. We are just discussing. And it’s ok for someone to have an opinion. That’s not something that is bad or should be discouraged.
Something about your @ felt like a scolding. Hopefully I’m wrong and I’m reading a tone that isn’t there. It just seemed like you took those you disagree with and told them to be quiet. That doesn’t seem right.

 

[Psalm30]

Or he could be open to reversing it later if he wishes. Or he could work on communication with his wife. I liked the suggestion to practice a type of nfp even with the vasectomy. I know you think differently on this issue but the op posted a question for discussion. We are not his wife, his doctor, or his priest. We are just discussing. And it’s ok for someone to have an opinion. That’s not something that is bad or should be discouraged.
Something about your @ felt like a scolding. Hopefully I’m wrong and I’m reading a tone that isn’t there. It just seemed like you took those you disagree with and told them to be quiet. That doesn’t seem right.

I have no control over how my tone is perceived in my posts. I am simply concerned for the OP. In post 37, the OP mentioned that he can be scrupulous at times. And in the same post he mentioned that he is currently at peace with his situation. I thought perhaps you and other posters continuing to suggest a reversal or NFP as if the vasectomy never happened may not have seen that post. If he is at peace about it and he can potentially be scrupulous, suggesting a reversal or abstaining during the fertile period as if nothing happened (neither of which the Church requires) could potentially add to his anxiety and scruples. Having a reversal could be detrimental financially or health wise, as LoneGreyWolf mentioned. So, that’s a concern too. And since he’s not worried about it anymore, it seems imprudent to continue suggesting there is more he should be doing that he isn’t already doing. One poster implied that a reversal would be “making amends” which the Church does not teach. We have to be careful not to put undue burdens on the faithful that the Church herself does not impose. So, I’m just looking out for the peace of mind of the OP.

But…you’re right, I’m not in charge here, so…carry on.

 

[redcatholic]

Yeah I think you have valid points and thanks for adding to the conversation. Those points should be considered. Sure. But it doesn’t hurt to consider all options and do so now or in the future. The OP is in his marriage, he is in charge of his soul, there is no simple right answer here, not yours, not mine.
But I hear often that the church doesn’t require a reversal, which is true. But one can be done as an act of reparation or holiness if one wishes. The Church doesn’t require I go on a fast right now or pray a novena but I can choose to do so if I wish. And it’s a good thing . The church doesn’t require someone turn themselves in to be absolved if a sin that is also a crime either. But the virtue of turning oneself in can he sought. It’s something worth mentioning as an option.

 

[Baho]

Thanks familia. Yeah I’d honestly like the post locked tbh. I can’t delete it, but I got the guidance and closure I needed and I don’t want it speculated endlessly but I accept it’s sort of what I signed up for when I posted. I’m not going to reverse it or practice NFP because it’s in the past and frankly because I’m not opposed to having more kids so why would I intentionally not have sex when that’s possible, even when I have a vasectomy. Maybe I get lucky and it fails. Either way, yeah I’m good. Thanks for your insights in this post and the one below, you’re right. I’m extremely susceptible to being made guilty/anxious/not okay with something I was already okay with by the repeated suggestions and speculations now that it’s settled. I’ve sort of just been avoiding this post since a few days ago haha.

 

[Elf01]

I’m not going to reverse it or practice NFP because it’s in the past and frankly because I’m not opposed to having more kids so why would I intentionally not have sex when that’s possible, even when I have a vasectomy. Maybe I get lucky and it fails.

I had the impression that you were opposed to more kids, which is partly why I made the suggestion.

I’m glad you’re at peace now.

 

[Baho]

That’s understandable and thank you friend. Nah I got the vasectomy because we weren’t Catholic yet but my wife did not want to have any more kids. She was going to schedule a tubal ligation and this seemed less permanent/safer so I just did it. I never necessarily wanted one and honestly it made me sad for a long time, I would not recommend it even if I wasn’t Catholic eh. But no I pray regularly for it to fail if it’s what God wants haha.