Should I give a female friend a drawing I did of her, even if we haven't hung out out of school before?

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I have a female friend who took the time to make me feel better. She also invited me to work out with her where she teaches a class and I was wondering if maybe as kind of a small token of my appreciation towards our friendship I should give her a drawing of her as a physically strong woman since she works out and teaches a physical class. I don’t know if maybe they can put it on the wall of the gym since she is a teacher there. We were friends for maybe less than 2 years but we haven’t talked that much and now we have a stronger friendship. Do you think it would make her uncomfortable if even though we have texted before this is the first time we hung out out of school for me to give her a drawing I did of her? Men could respond but I would appreciate the perspective of a woman.
 
realtiger said:
I have a female friend who took the time to make me feel better. She also invited me to work out with her where she teaches a class and I was wondering if maybe as kind of a small token of my appreciation towards our friendship I should give her a drawing of her as a physically strong woman since she works out and teaches a physical class. I don’t know if maybe they can put it on the wall of the gym since she is a teacher there. We were friends for maybe less than 2 years but we haven’t talked that much and now we have a stronger friendship. Do you think it would make her uncomfortable if even though we have texted before this is the first time we hung out out of school for me to give her a drawing I did of her? Men could respond but I would appreciate the perspective of a woman.
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This would be a nice gift, especially if you told her what you wrote here.
 
Nobody can answer this because different women see things differently. If a man gave me a picture he drew of me, I would be very uncomfortable because I would think he is deeply in love with me. That IMO sounds like a VERY romantic things to do and it would scare me off big time. And I would act like even if I liked the guy ! Unless of course he was my boyfriend for a few months

Perhaps hint around. Telling her about a funny story about someone receiving a gift that went wrong and then ask, what is the worse gift she ever got. Make it look like you are making conversation. Hopefully if you ask her to tell you about a ‘bad’ experience, she will be more comfortable being honest. If you ask her what the nicest gift she ever received was, she would feel like she has to be polite and will not really be honest.

Use her response to try to figure out how receiving a drawing will make her feel

Angie
 
realtiger said:
I have a female friend who took the time to make me feel better. She also invited me to work out with her where she teaches a class and I was wondering if maybe as kind of a small token of my appreciation towards our friendship I should give her a drawing of her as a physically strong woman since she works out and teaches a physical class. I don’t know if maybe they can put it on the wall of the gym since she is a teacher there. We were friends for maybe less than 2 years but we haven’t talked that much and now we have a stronger friendship. Do you think it would make her uncomfortable if even though we have texted before this is the first time we hung out out of school for me to give her a drawing I did of her? Men could respond but I would appreciate the perspective of a woman.
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I’m a woman and an artist. Some years ago my closest female friend, also an artist, gave me a drawing she did of me, and I really appreciated it. But I can see where a drawing by an opposite sex friend could make someone uncomfortable. However, there’s a long history in art of artists portraying people of the opposite sex for various reasons, not just out of romantic interest.

I think, if you do the picture, say that you thought perhaps the gym could display it; that way it’s less of a private, intimate thing for her to wonder about.

Try to keep clear communication with her to let her know that your drawing would be an expression of appreciation of her as a strong woman and a friend.
 
AbideWithMe said:
I think, if you do the picture, say that you thought perhaps the gym could display it; that way it’s less of a private, intimate thing for her to wonder about.
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Again, all women are different. I wouldn’t want my picture up in the gym where I work out. Especially if it was a drawing. I would find that explanation more offensive
 
Anglewannabe said:
Again, all women are different. I wouldn’t want my picture up in the gym where I work out. Especially if it was a drawing. I would find that explanation more offensive
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Yes, women are different. That’s where clear communication is especially important, for the artist to make his intentions clear, and to find out how the potential recipient would feel…where her “space bubble”/boundaries are.

As an artist myself, I would view a gift of a portrait of me as an innocent act of appreciation; an artist’s means of offering appreciation is through using his talent. It wouldn’t feel like a romantic thing to me necessarily unless a romantic intent was otherwise expressed. But, yes, another woman might feel it’s romantic regardless of whatever was said by the artist.
 
No. This is a bad idea. It will come of creepy at worst, and … well … nerdy at best. In either event, it will be awkward for her and she will not display it in the gym I promise. Invite her out for a coffee instead where you can thank her for being such a good friend.
 
No, you see how well giving a drawing to Trisha worked for Napoleon Dynamite. I would expect that it would work out in much the same way for you.
 
Tell her that you found her to be an interesting subject and ask her if she would like to have it.
 
Not unless you regularly draw pictures of people you know. Why her? Why not other friends? What makes her so special to you that you would put all of that thought and energy into this? How much time did you spend thinking of her as you drew it? How much time did you spend staring at her or pictures of her to get the details right? What kind of reaction are you expecting? Romance? I am not actually asking you to answer these questions, but if I were the girl receiving a picture that had been drawn of me “in secret,” this is what I’d be thinking. I would interpret it as you having some level of obsession or extreme interest in me, and unless we were already in a romantic relationship, I would find that unsettling. Now if you are known to be an artist, and she is just the next in a line of people you know that you have drawn, then that would be a different thing. Even then, it is still a fairly intimate thing to draw someone in detail, and it still might be taken better if you had asked to draw her first, or if you know each other quite well.
 
Yeah… Um this sounds like a great way to get maced. Or at least a restraining order…
 
realtiger said:
I have a female friend who took the time to make me feel better. She also invited me to work out with her where she teaches a class and I was wondering if maybe as kind of a small token of my appreciation towards our friendship I should give her a drawing of her as a physically strong woman since she works out and teaches a physical class. I don’t know if maybe they can put it on the wall of the gym since she is a teacher there. We were friends for maybe less than 2 years but we haven’t talked that much and now we have a stronger friendship. Do you think it would make her uncomfortable if even though we have texted before this is the first time we hung out out of school for me to give her a drawing I did of her? Men could respond but I would appreciate the perspective of a woman.
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I’m a woman. There’s a famous scene in St. Elmo’s Fire that this post reminded me of immediately. I would say no…it would make her uncomfortable.
 
I’d say no. That would be taken as rather personal from most girls I have known, and unless a prior comfortable friendship existed, it wouldn’t likely be received well.

It may have worked for Lionel Richie in the early 1980s, but that’s only because he was Lionel Richie, and she was blind.

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)

While your sentiment is fine, I’d get to know her first and establish something.
 
ThyKingdomCome said:
Not unless you regularly draw pictures of people you know. Why her? Why not other friends? What makes her so special to you that you would put all of that thought and energy into this? How much time did you spend thinking of her as you drew it? How much time did you spend staring at her or pictures of her to get the details right? What kind of reaction are you expecting? Romance? I am not actually asking you to answer these questions, but if I were the girl receiving a picture that had been drawn of me “in secret,” this is what I’d be thinking. I would interpret it as you having some level of obsession or extreme interest in me, and unless we were already in a romantic relationship, I would find that unsettling. Now if you are known to be an artist, and she is just the next in a line of people you know that you have drawn, then that would be a different thing. Even then, it is still a fairly intimate thing to draw someone in detail, and it still might be taken better if you had asked to draw her first, or if you know each other quite well.
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Many young adult and teenage artists do manga drawing, which is really stylized. It doesn’t require the sort of detailed observation of a subject which some other styles of drawing require. It’s not that intimate of a thing. And it’s not creepy.

I’m just guessing, but from the OP talking about a drawing of his friend as a strong women, and from the younger artists I know myself from an art center, I’m thinking he did a manga drawing of her.
 
1 what this shows is an unawareness if social protocol and boundaries.
2. Many women no matter how pretty have an issue with body image. The drawing may be unintentionally hurtful.
3. Ever watch tv and see blurred out faces? There are people who are uncomfortable with people capturing thier image for private or public consumption without permission.
4. The idea presupposes a relationship and familiarity that does not exist.
5 you should have asked first.
6 no matter what we say I can almost guarantee you will not be able to not do this. I can just tell. It’s risky and a bad idea. But you are young, I did a lot of that awkward stuff when I was young too.

Think titanic. Leo asked first. Or she offered. Either way it was certainly smoother than what you got going on there…
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
1 what this shows is an unawareness if social protocol and boundaries.
2. Many women no matter how pretty have an issue with body image. The drawing may be unintentionally hurtful.
3. Ever watch tv and see blurred out faces? There are people who are uncomfortable with people capturing thier image for private or public consumption without permission.
4. The idea presupposes a relationship and familiarity that does not exist.
5 you should have asked first.
6 no matter what we say I can almost guarantee you will not be able to not do this. I can just tell. It’s risky and a bad idea. But you are young, I did a lot of that awkward stuff when I was young too.

Think titanic. Leo asked first. Or she offered. Either way it was certainly smoother than what you got going on there…
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Artists draw people all the time without asking first. I’ve sketched complete strangers.
 
AbideWithMe said:
Artists draw people all the time without asking first. I’ve sketched complete strangers.
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Perhaps but usually we don’t then hand them the drawing. And if one were making for public display there are privacy issues.
 
AbideWithMe said:
Artists draw people all the time without asking first. I’ve sketched complete strangers.
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Perhaps but usually we don’t then hand them the drawing. And if one were making for public display there are privacy issues.

Draw my kids at the park without my permission and I find out about it, a bloody nose would be the result…
 
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