Should I help my brother escape?

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My brother has very huge debts. Our family had helped him to pay off his debts but he always comes back with new ones. Each time he would owe up to $80,000. Now no one in my family wanted to help him since he never change. Today he asked me for $1000 so that he could escape to another country and from loan sharks. Should I give my brother $1000?
 
If he keeps getting into debt problems he has to address the root cause. Moving away may not help - if he has a gambling addiction for example he will probably turn to another loan shark and if he’s even further away from family/home who would he turn to then? Maybe help him to get in contact with people who can give advice on debt and loan sharks.
 
I think better than escape he should find a therapist to help him understand why he is always ending up in debt. Only when he understands that he will ‘break the circle’ otherwise he will end up in the same situation even in an other country (particularly if gambling, poor financial choices etc are involved).
 
That is utterly your choice but if his problems are around gambling/alcohol etc. I would be very reluctant. What will happen if (more likely when) he is in trouble again. It’s better for him to have some support to get to the root of the problem first.
 
The $1000 are just a band-aid, in your freedom you can give it or not to him. The point is that if he doesn’t understand what is putting him continually in debt he will very likely end up in more debts and troubles even in an other country. I think is very important to put him in contact with people that can help him to understand the root of the problem and address it.
(addiction? Gambling? Mental health? Poor financial choices? Compulsory spending? Etc).
 
As I understand it, “loan sharks” are criminals. I would advise speaking with an attorney or the police.
 
That is enabling his behavior. If it were for an emergency such as needed health care, or a car repair, that might be okay. But since he is always living above his means, your cash won’t change anything.
 
Rutherford2 said:
Should I give my brother $1000?
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So he can continue to escape the consequences of his poor decisions? Do you think that enabling him will lead to a change in his behavior? Do you think that he should be rewarded for his apparent selfish expectation that someone will bail him out?
 
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You and your family are on to him now.
You are not obligated to enable the train wreck that he himself is creating.

When someone is under the power of addiction, they can’t think straight. Sometimes they need to hit bottom before they seek out help. May that day be sooner than later. By not giving him money, that day may come sooner.

Keep in mind if you refuse to give him money, his story may become more desperate to get you to comply. It may not be the truth, only a way to manipulate you. He may blame you for his troubles. You are not to blame here. It’s not your fault if he’s in trouble.
 
Another thing, if these truly ARE “loan sharks”, when they cannot locate him, they may come after his family. He is putting you in danger.
 
What do you mean by “loan sharks”? Are they mafia men? Are the just pay day loan agents? Are they bankers? Help us out by giving us more context.

But regardless, I don’t think you should. If these sharks are mafia men, they will come after you and your family to find him. Your brother needs to own up to his mistake regardless. He needs to own up to the consequences of his actions.
 
Chances are, if you help him escape, and all it takes is $1000 to start a new life in wherever he’s planning on going… there are a lot more dangerous people there than the people he’s running from over here. 😉 And the problem is going to follow him… because, as you said, he never changes. So there’s a good chance the next time will be the last.
 
Some people need to hit rock bottom before they learn anything.
 
Honestly, I would say even better, I’ll buy you the airline ticket out of the country. But you can never come back and who knows if financial institutions will locate you and file fraud charges."
He has some addiction causing this …maybe gambling. Its sad bc we live in a secular/ corrupt society.
I would tell him to organize his debts, file bankruptcy and get a priest to talk too.
Good luck! You are a GREAT Catholic and GREAT sibling!!
 
Rutherford2 said:
My brother has very huge debts. Our family had helped him to pay off his debts but he always comes back with new ones. Each time he would owe up to $80,000. Now no one in my family wanted to help him since he never change. Today he asked me for $1000 so that he could escape to another country and from loan sharks. Should I give my brother $1000?
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The answer is no you should not give him the money. You are simply enabling him.
Nothing will change until you say no more.
 
@TheLittleLady If worse comes to worse I will report to police but my family refused because once his name has been blacklisted, it would be very difficult for him to get a job next time.
@Convert3 Yes, I agree with you.
@neophyte Yes, he always think we are the lifeline.
@PennyinCanada I will keep in mind not to feel guity for not helping him.
@Elias Easier said than done.
@midori Noted.
@redbetta As his brother, it is hard to see him hit rock bottom.
@Catholic_JIll Thanks, I’m not a Catholic yet. I am still in my RCIA. He won’t organize his debts. When he has a debt, he depends on us to solve everything for him, even do financial planning for him which loan shark to pay first.
@VanitasVanitatum $1000 is 90% of my monthly salary.
 
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