Should I insist on raising our kid Catholic?

[Convert_in_99]

What kind of counselling did you receive before you became Catholic? Did your priest know that you were married with a child, and that you were converting without them?

I did the same thing - my family remains in the Protestant faith, and I am the only Catholic. I received quite a bit of counselling from my priest beforehand, around issues of birth control, the practice of my faith in the home, and strategies on keeping the marriage together even though we are of different faiths.

This was really important for me. I doubt we would still be together if I had not followed the priest’s advice, or if I had not gone for counselling in the first place, before making the jump across the Tiber.

I also was the first in my family to convert, but was unmarried. It was still a challenge. My mother came in after me and she was married with, ironically, a protestant husband, a grown protestant child, and one grown catholic child (me). She didn’t need to work on me, but she has tried to express her catholic beliefs best she can in a very gentle and loving way to both my sister and my father. So, in a sense, even with a grown child, she is trying “all in her power to raise her children catholic”.

 

[kage_ar]

Pope John Paul II was very clear in not using the word heretic in reference to non Christians.

Would you please post a source document from the Holy Father that says this term is not to be used?

 

[Convert_in_99]

Would you please post a source document from the Holy Father that says this term is not to be used?

I don’t have an exact quote as I listened to his talks more than read them, but he used the term “separated brothers and sisters” for protestant Christians and “elder brothers and sisters in the faith” for Jews. He didn’t get rid of the word heresy in its entirety I don’t think, but used these words when referring to these groups of people. So I try to do the same.

 

[kage_ar]

I don’t have an exact quote as I listened to his talks more than read them, but he used the term “separated brothers and sisters” for protestant Christians and “elder brothers and sisters in the faith” for Jews. He didn’t get rid of the word heresy in its entirety I don’t think, but used these words when referring to these groups of people. So I try to do the same.

That is more clear.

Your personal preference is to use this term, that term is also used in the Catechism.

Earlier there was an impression that the Holy Father had forbidden use of the term heretic. We know that both terms have a proper time and place.

 

[Convert_in_99]

That is more clear.

Your personal preference is to use this term, that term is also used in the Catechism.

Earlier there was an impression that the Holy Father had forbidden use of the term heretic. We know that both terms have a proper time and place.

Good glad we’re thinking along the same page. Sorry I wasn’t clear with my words, I have trouble sometimes expressing what I’m trying to say. I think the Holy Father didn’t want to just automatically lump all protestants into the heretic category cause so many of them honestly don’t know better, or at least don’t know fully. So they aren’t truly heretical. That’s why they are now “separated brothers and sisters.”

Edit: It is often catholics who know fully the truth, then reject that truth, who fall into the heretic category. From my meager gatherings.

 

[wanner47]

My problem with mrpathetic was his insinuation that the OP had married a non-Catholic while knowing that he opposed Church teaching. But she can hardly be faulted given that SHE was non-Catholic as well and didn’t know any better. Jesus himself said that people aren’t to blame for what they don’t know. The important thing is that the OP does know the truth now and is trying her best to abide by it.

 

[Michael_Saint]

If my previous posts were lacking in Christian charity, I am sorry, and I humbly apologize.

I actually sympathize more with the OP than you realize.

I too live with a spouse who is outside the Catholic faith. And I too am struggling to save my marriage. I have had to make numerous compromises, in order to live in this situation. I have turned over control of my family and household to my wife, and she essentially makes all the decisions for the family. My wife effectively calls all the shots in our family, except really in one area - matters of faith. (This is due, in large part, to the fact that she has abandoned the Faith.)

The one thing that I simply will not relinquish control of, is the spiritual upbringing of my children. I will not let my wife raise them as heretics, pure and simple. On that point, I simply will not compromise. Nor should the OP.

I will raise my children to believe what I believe, and practice the faith that I practice. My daughter is an adult, and she is free to do as she wishes. But my son is a minor, and so long as he lives in my home, he will worship as I worship - bottom line. **I will not take gambles with my children’s souls. Nor should the OP. **

I can think of few circumstances that would cause me to show my wife the door. But if she were to try to turn my son away from the Catholic faith - that just might be it. I wouldn’t divorce or re-marry - but I would take my son and leave. And I wouldn’t look back.

==============================================================

Look, I have lived in this circumstance for many, many years. I know the OP has only faced this for about a year. I can say from experience that the journey isn’t going to get any easier. The struggle for your children’s souls will not get any easier or simpler , OP, so be ready for the fight of a lifetime.

So ultimately, she may need to make a choice - her faith in Christ, and His Universal Church, or her husband. I can’t make this call for her - but I have made mine. I put my faith in Christ, and his Church, above all else. And that is what guides my decisions. And this includes how I evangelize my children.

If this is how you lived your Catholicism (ie. bad-mouthing “heretics” and threatening eternal damnation at every turn, etc.) I would not doubt that your wife and children may have been turned off, and why they no longer practice.