Should I leave?

[GraceDK]

Just a little background. I was raised in the Mormon church, but I converted to the Catholic church about 10 years ago. I fell away for a few years, but I had my marriage validated and my children baptized last summer. My husband doesn’t go to church, but my children attend CCD, and we go to Mass most Sundays.
I’m not sure what to do anymore. I am struggling with my faith because of some differences in opinion I have with the Catholic church. I don’t believe that contraception is wrong, unless it is used after conception. I am a social worker, so I see the suffering that so many impoverished and uneducated families go through, because they are unable to care for their large families. I also support having married and female priests. I have many gay friends, and I feel like it is unfair that they should live their lives without loving and committed relationships.
I tried to ignore my differences from the church, but since all the media attention is on it, I am struggling. I am embarrassed to admit to being Catholic among certain people, and I haven’t felt any desire to go to Mass. My parish is very large, and a majority of the members don’t speak English as a first language, so I don’t really have anyone to talk to. I really don’t have any Catholic friends. I feel so lost. I want to believe, but I just can’t get over those key issues. My children love CCD and Mass and I would hate to take them away from it, but I feel like a hypocrite.
What should I do?

Hi Ashjade.

Wow, I see myself in you. I used to have all those oppinions… plus feeling odd in a parish where almost all members where immigrants…
Through prayer and Bible reading alone I can honestly tell you I suddenly woke up one day and understood and believed most of those things.
The rest became more clear over time through serious studies of church documents like the catechism, hearing programs on EWTN etc…

I must say I also don’t believe that being a social worker should lead one to saying the church is wrong. What is needed is education, and promotion of ability to take good life choices. We should not just give people cheep solutions, but much rather teach them to love themselves… This is true no matter how much money people have or dont have. Many people are extremely self destructive in today’s culture, and only a REAL understanding of God and the dignity of the human person can heal some of that deep woundedness…

If we talk about homosexuality. I also used to think the church was outdated, until I actually started to study some serious psychological works written about the causes and behaviour of same sex attraction. I can give you some titles if you want.
Janelle Hallman: The heart of female same sex attraction
and Joseph Nicolosi: Shame and attachment loss.

I have come to realize how brainwashed I have been by an agnostic arrogant culture where the very-modern intervention of a false tolerance is preached until we don’t know our right from out left hand.

By the way, I remember the last time I went to church in my Lutheran church. I wept on the way home thinking about the discrimination from the Catholic Church against female pastors… But this again was one question that completely was answered in my soul during prayer… and I haven’t had a problem with it since. Jesus chose 12 male apostles… I rest assuredly that He knew what he was doing.
And I do describe myself as a feminist in the good sense.

Please do pray and study! All must rest on your relationship with Jesus Christ. I used to ask Him the question: Lord, do you want me to become a member of another church… I dont wanna be a Catholic if its not the truth … That day the Lord spoke to me directly like He only has done a very, very few times. So ask Him. He cares.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Hi Ashjade.

Wow, I see myself in you. I used to have all those oppinions… plus feeling odd in a parish where almost all members where immigrants…
Through prayer and Bible reading alone I can honestly tell you I suddenly woke up one day and understood and believed most of those things.
The rest became more clear over time through serious studies of church documents like the catechism, hearing programs on EWTN etc…

I must say I also don’t believe that being a social worker should lead one to saying the church is wrong. What is needed is education, and promotion of ability to take good life choices. We should not just give people cheep solutions, but much rather teach them to love themselves… This is true no matter how much money people have or dont have. Many people are extremely self destructive in today’s culture, and only a REAL understanding of God and the dignity of the human person can heal some of that deep woundedness…

If we talk about homosexuality. I also used to think the church was outdated, until I actually started to study some serious psychological works written about the causes and behaviour of same sex attraction. I can give you some titles if you want.
Janelle Hallman: The heart of female same sex attraction
and Joseph Nicolosi: Shame and attachment loss.

I have come to realize how brainwashed I have been by an agnostic arrogant culture where the very-modern intervention of a false tolerance is preached until we don’t know our right from out left hand.

By the way, I remember the last time I went to church in my Lutheran church. I wept on the way home thinking about the discrimination from the Catholic Church against female pastors… But this again was one question that completely was answered in my soul during prayer… and I haven’t had a problem with it since. Jesus chose 12 male apostles… I rest assuredly that He knew what he was doing.
And I do describe myself as a feminist in the good sense.

Please do pray and study! All must rest on your relationship with Jesus Christ. I used to ask Him the question: Lord, do you want me to become a member of another church… I dont wanna be a Catholic if its not the truth … That day the Lord spoke to me directly like He only has done a very, very few times. So ask Him. He cares.

GraceDK has given you a very good response, OP. I know that social work is a profession where many very liberal-thinking young people believe they can improve the world by imposing wrong beliefs upon others. Just your stereotypical view of “the poor” as not being able to deal with NFP for example. It can be a real challenge to think through where those messages are coming from.

I think you are ready for some “meat” now - get into apologetics and Church history. Go see your priest, and also it would be good to have a spiritual director who can guide you into readings. Many people have had some of the same questions, as GradeDK mentioned, but the mustard seed of faith carries them to find the real answers, not what society promotes. Sin is sin is sin is…If you believe at all in the Bible you have to know that God does not endorse homosexuality. Yes, we are to love the sinner and hate the sin, but that does not mean we are to give same sex attracted people a full pass to do whatever they want. Anyway, the specifics are in the Catechism, and the apologetics.

 

[SurlyMermaid]

…I know that social work is a profession where many very liberal-thinking young people believe they can improve the world by imposing wrong beliefs upon others. Just your stereotypical view of “the poor” as not being able to deal with NFP for example. It can be a real challenge to think through where those messages are coming from…

YES!!!

“I am a social worker, so I see the suffering that so many impoverished and uneducated families go through, because they are unable to care for their large families. I also support having married and female priests. I have many gay friends, and I feel like it is unfair that they should live their lives without loving and committed relationships.”

I could have written this!

Thanks for posthing this thread, and thanks to everyone who’s written. It’s been very, very helpfu. :grouphug:

 

[fred_conty]

QUOTE BY Nodito #8
I really like this article by Janet Smith for a clear and compelling explanation of natural law and Catholic sexual ethics.

catholiceducation.org/articles/sexuality/se0217.htm
UNQUOTE

This is good explaination and as a social worker you should read it. Please read it. Did you know that Mother Teresa required all her sisters to understand NFP and to teach it to the poor as the best solution for their problem, better than other contraception methods.

davidmacd.com/catholic/mary_in_the_bible.htm
This website is a good one for an easy read for any of you questions about the faith. You will like it. Please read it.

Just a few ideas to help.

 

[AshJade]

Thanks for everyone’s advice. I have a lot of reading and praying to do.

 

[GraceDK]

Thanks for everyone’s advice. I have a lot of reading and praying to do.

Keep us updated sister!

When I read your posts something tugs at my heart… I am brought back to that day when I was sitting infront of an Tabernacle in an empty and cold church where I didn’t feel at home, and I said to Jesus, you know I feel more at home at other places.
In the Spirit I saw myself face down to the floor, Jesus standing infront of me asking me if I was going to leave Him. He was referring to the Eucharist, which had brought me into the Catholic Church just a few years before. He didn’t shame me… it was just a clear question, a clear path to choose or not to choose.

A few months later everything already looked much lighter.

I am not a social worker but I have studied some psychology and wish to keep studying it… I think that only really realizing what human nature is about, the calling and purpose of human life and morality, can enable us to help people effectively.
Otherwise its blind leading blind.

In recent years studying some of Pope John Paul II’s writings on the dignity of women, dignity of human love and sexuality etc, made me realize my heart has found a church-home together with my soul and my intellect…