Should I Respond to an "Anti-Invitation to Christmas"?

[Rosebud77]

Sorry Alice - that still sounds very passive aggressive huffy…I think the O P just needs to ask himself if he wants to go- if he does, say so plainly, go and enjoy Christmas - if he doesn’t want to go, then send happy Christmas greetings…

But it would be foolish to spend Christmas alone just to make a point over a badly worded email, or to cause upset when it is not at all clear that any offence was intended…

 

[mommy_k]

"Sounds like u don’t want me to come for Christmas-lol "…that’s what I would reply.

Then wait for the answer and keep it light.

 

[Lea101]

"Sounds like u don’t want me to come for Christmas-lol "…that’s what I would reply.

Then wait for the answer and keep it light.

I would say something like this (with a laughing emoji or something) and then mention something about your job, if it’s good or not etc

 

[mommy_k]

I would say something like this (with a laughing emoji or something) and then mention something about your job, if it’s good or not etc

Yes the emoji is important.

It’s also important not to let others steal your joy during Christmas

Directness with humor works and will have the sender of the message rethink wording and explain what they actually meant…I would keep it short though…to many words will distract from this.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

I would just say something like: " Merry Christmas! Hope to catch up soon."

 

[the_phoenix]

It’s Christmas; take the high road and ignore the email. On Christmas Day, call them, briefly, and wish everyone there a Merry Christmas. You can’t talk, you have plans.

This sounds like good advice … thanks.

 

[the_phoenix]

Message I Received: … “assuming you weren’t planning to come since you just started a new job…hopefully that’s still going well. Weather’s supposed to be sort of gross tomorrow anyway for driving” …

Id just reply something like -

“Yea, not sure about the weather, I can still make it though if you would like, if you think it will be too much hassle, just let me know and I wont worry about it, have a Merry Christmas, Thanks.”

This way you can cut through all the games and you give him/her an easy way out it. If someone is not too keen on having me at a party, I wouldn’t want to be at the party anyway.

I hope this has helped and have a Merry Christmas the phoenix

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh

Merry Christmas to you as well, Josh! :christmastree1:

…

 

[the_phoenix]

I have just realised that you posted the message went “something like this” and was not verbatim.

I’d be interested to see the actual words, as you may have flavoured your précis through the filter of your own interpretation…

So what did the email in fact say unedited? Might be easier to read between the actual lines…although I still suspect this is simply a case where everyone simply wants to know what’s going on…

The only reason I changed a few of the words but not the meaning is because for privacy reasons I did not want to quote a private communication in a public online forum word for word. Thanks.

…

 

[10gr8kids]

Were you initially invited? If so, did you ever respond with an answer? It amazes me when I plan events how many people will not answer with a yes or no when asked if they will come. Many times it is an ‘I don’t know’, "it depends’, ‘I’ll see’, or something along those lines.

These kind of responses make it very hard to plan on how much room needs to be made for seating, how much food needs to be prepared, and makes for many other inconviences for the host.

I tell my children that if they are invited to someone’s house for dinner to make sure and let that person know in a reasonable amount of time if they plan to attend or not. Of course, unforeseen things may come up that don’t allow you to attend, but don’t just wait and see if some better offer comes along.

Just a little venting.

 

[ConfusedLucy]

Were you initially invited? If so, did you ever respond with an answer? It amazes me when I plan events how many people will not answer with a yes or no when asked if they will come. Many times it is an ‘I don’t know’, "it depends’, ‘I’ll see’, or something along those lines.

These kind of responses make it very hard to plan on how much room needs to be made for seating, how much food needs to be prepared, and makes for many other inconviences for the host.

I tell my children that if they are invited to someone’s house for dinner to make sure and let that person know in a reasonable amount of time if they plan to attend or not. Of course, unforeseen things may come up that don’t allow you to attend, but don’t just wait and see if some better offer comes along.

Just a little venting.

This is what I was thinking, I’ve invited people to things, either no response or vague response, eventually I assume they aren’t coming and plan accordingly but then just before the event worry they will turn up after all. I might resort to some sort of message like this to reassure myself I won’t have the person turn up when I don’t have enough turkey. I wouldn’t want to invite people who can’t just have a conversation about Christmas arrangements to be honest. Too much stress.

 

[the_phoenix]

the phoenix;14360492:

Just received a text message from a relative which goes something like this, and was wondering if I should just ignore it, or reply (which might start a fight right before Christmas)?

Message I Received: … “assuming you weren’t planning to come since you just started a new job…hopefully that’s still going well. Weather’s supposed to be sort of gross tomorrow anyway for driving” …

Apparently, this person doesn’t want to invite me over for Christmas, but is too polite to come right out and tell me, so they’re just “assuming” my feelings for me. They’re also “assuming” that I would let a little rain bother me, as there are no huge snowstorms forecast in the area.

In a way, I want to reply with the simple question. “Why would you assume that?”

However, I sense that if I reply like that, it will cause an argument, and the other person will then claim that I’m the bad guy in the situation.

This person also says they will call me … interestingly enough, it appears like they might try to call me when it’s too late for me to start out on a road trip to make it to their on time for festivities.

Salutations,
I received your text. It was so nice of you to check the weather out for me for safety sake. You know I will miss this event and your company.
I will have to take a rain check, pun intended, as I don’thave time to prepare for the excursion. Please pass my love to all, I will miss greatly on this time of celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus with you and all.
Next year, the weather may be clearer and my driving skills better. Just invite me and I’ll communicate what is possible.
Dear Lord,
On this celebration of your birthday, this situation leaves me a little wounded. Create in me a clean heart, Oh,Lord. Leave your peace in its place. If it is just you and I celebrating your coming to earth, I am doubly blessed. I am never alone. i am never unloved. Thank you Lord.
in Jesus name Amen.
I prayed in the first person Lord for this child of yours. Let him feel your love.
Ephesians 3 : 14 - 21.
in Christ’s love
Tweedlealice

Thanks, Tweedlealice,

… especially for the prayers!

Your post shows that you understand that the tone my relative used was unnecessary, and I appreciate your understanding.

This is the same relative who I tried calling earlier this year when I had good news to pass along. The relative ended up being out of the house, never did return my call, and when I tried conveying the same news in person in a light, pleasant manner just in case my message never got through … well, let’s just say that her husband had treated me much friendlier on the phone than she did in person.

Thank you, and especially for the prayers.

…

 

[the_phoenix]

"Sounds like u don’t want me to come for Christmas-lol "…that’s what I would reply.

Then wait for the answer and keep it light.

Thank you, mommy k,

This sounds like a decent answer, under normal conditions, and I like it, and your philosophy.
I’ve learned from past experience though that things are quite likely to escalate into awkwardness (at best) or unwanted drama if I were to answer this way.

…

 

[the_phoenix]

I would say something like this (with a laughing emoji or something) and then mention something about your job, if it’s good or not etc

Hi Lea101,

Same as I was saying to mommy k … This sounds like a good answer … wish I had a good enough relationship with this person to use your answer, but if I were to respond this way, based on past experience, … well, eventually you learn to leave well enough alone.

But yeah, I really shouldn’t feel like I have to walk on eggshells with family, should I?

…

 

[the_phoenix]

Yes the emoji is important.

It’s also important not to let others steal your joy during Christmas

Directness with humor works and will have the sender of the message rethink wording and explain what they actually meant…I would keep it short though…to many words will distract from this.

Okay, now you’ve got me rethinking …
Maybe I will respond after all, mommy k.

I just want to figure it out and proceed the best way possible.
Thank you very much for your helpful (name removed by moderator)ut.

…

 

[the_phoenix]

Were you initially invited? If so, did you ever respond with an answer? It amazes me when I plan events how many people will not answer with a yes or no when asked if they will come. Many times it is an ‘I don’t know’, "it depends’, ‘I’ll see’, or something along those lines.

These kind of responses make it very hard to plan on how much room needs to be made for seating, how much food needs to be prepared, and makes for many other inconviences for the host.

I tell my children that if they are invited to someone’s house for dinner to make sure and let that person know in a reasonable amount of time if they plan to attend or not. Of course, unforeseen things may come up that don’t allow you to attend, but don’t just wait and see if some better offer comes along.

Just a little venting.

I was not issued an invitation to this person’s house, no.
Unless you count this text message, I suppose? Which sounded much more like a non-invitation to me.

I definitely understand how you feel about the importance of sending an RSVP, and hope your holidays go smoothly this year.

…

 

[Crusaderbear]

You don’t need to open or read their texts…skip over them for this year, don’t respond at all, iron out any problems next year.

 

[Mary_Estelle]

I would reply: “Thank you for showing concern over my welfare about driving to see you for Christmas, but I have other plans all set up for my Christmas celebration. Maybe next year would be a more opportune time for both of us. Best wishes for the holidays. God bless!”

Yes, this. Otherwise ignore the text. Peace.

 

[Gilly_flower]

If you weren’t invited, why did you think you were going in the first place?

 

[the_phoenix]

You don’t need to open or read their texts…skip over them for this year, don’t respond at all, iron out any problems next year.

I appreciate what you’re saying, Crusaderbear, thank you.

 

[the_phoenix]

Yes, this. Otherwise ignore the text. Peace.

Thank you very much for weighing in, Mary Estelle, I appreciate your (name removed by moderator)ut.