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kettle
Guest
Walk away. :hug1:
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1
1ke
Guest
Q: Should I run from this relationship…
A: Yes
A: Yes
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Liberanosamalo
Guest
You were born old, I take it. Always the most mature one in the group. You’re ready for marriage. But something caught my eye here. She is linking you with mommy and daddy telling her what to do.
She hasn’t grown up. She equates your desires and pleasing you with being ordered around like a child like mommy and daddy still do.
Until she achieves emotional independence from her parents in a healthy way that doesn’t involve repudiating their values, she isn’t ready to appreciate a relationship with a grownup.
You deserve a grownup. Let her go. And if she grows up and you are still single, maybe she can come to you and try to make it work.
Too many people “marry a parent” and then it doesn’t work.
She has issues she needs to resolve. You aren’t her mother or father and the fact that she equates you all is HER problem, not your fault.
She hasn’t grown up. She equates your desires and pleasing you with being ordered around like a child like mommy and daddy still do.
Until she achieves emotional independence from her parents in a healthy way that doesn’t involve repudiating their values, she isn’t ready to appreciate a relationship with a grownup.
You deserve a grownup. Let her go. And if she grows up and you are still single, maybe she can come to you and try to make it work.
Too many people “marry a parent” and then it doesn’t work.
She has issues she needs to resolve. You aren’t her mother or father and the fact that she equates you all is HER problem, not your fault.
S
snowman10
Guest
Indeed I was always the mature one. I have done some things I am not proud of, but only briefly in my first years of college. I can never change those things but I can grow and learn.
Anywho, the update is that we are officially broken up. Part of me is very sad to see it end and the other half is happy because I do not like stress in relationships. I am just going to spend some much needed time single and try to work on finishing up RCIA within the next year. I need a good Catholic girl…
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chevalier
Guest
I’ll pray for you with regard to that part of your life… Well, such things happen. They happen to everyone or almost everyone. They’re always painful. But it’s not as painful as being married to the wrong person, as someone has said before. A break-up after several months is better than a divorce after several years. And yes, a good Catholic girl… In fact, I need one too. 
Go where you’ll find one.
Go where you’ll find one.
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Sina
Guest
I remember your original post. I am sorry to hear things aren’t going so well right now for you. I agree with the other posters who said that this woman sounds like she isn’t sure what she wants in her life.
Dr. Phil also always says the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour.
Hope you find someone special!!
Dr. Phil also always says the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour.
Hope you find someone special!!
D
deb1
Guest
Um…chevalier, it has not been my experience that either gender is better at handling breakups. Women just are more vocal when they are hurt then men. I don’t want to derail the thread though. I seem to have a problem doing that.
To the OP-or any person- you don’t not break up with a person because you think you will hurt them. It is better to have a final end to a relationship then to remain in a painful limbo with that person. The person can’t heal or go on with their life until the break up occurs.
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snowman10
Guest
Well I found out that my suspicions were correct: there is another fellow. What a kick in the pants…again.
That being said, I should have been more prudent getting into this relationship and I should have used more thought than what I did. I guess the best thing I can do is learn. But all of my suspicions of someone else were founded. I find the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. And if you recall she moved right on from her last relationship to me so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. But she lead me on and hurt me. The only thing left to do is get my stuff back…haha.
dxu
ps. please pray for me…i may laugh on the outside but not so much on the inside
That being said, I should have been more prudent getting into this relationship and I should have used more thought than what I did. I guess the best thing I can do is learn. But all of my suspicions of someone else were founded. I find the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. And if you recall she moved right on from her last relationship to me so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. But she lead me on and hurt me. The only thing left to do is get my stuff back…haha.
dxu
ps. please pray for me…i may laugh on the outside but not so much on the inside
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chevalier
Guest
Snowman, sometimes such things happen. Perhaps you weren’t really right for each other - and I think you weren’t. It was better to split up early than to have serious problems in marriage.
I would say find a girl who will not force you to “tolerate” things you are not comfortable with. Perhaps don’t jump into relationships if you aren’t sure. Some talking and getting to know each other can be done as friends. It doesn’t need a romantic relationship. Make sure what you look for in a girl is the same you look for in a wife.
In my prayers.
Take care.
I would say find a girl who will not force you to “tolerate” things you are not comfortable with. Perhaps don’t jump into relationships if you aren’t sure. Some talking and getting to know each other can be done as friends. It doesn’t need a romantic relationship. Make sure what you look for in a girl is the same you look for in a wife.
In my prayers.
Take care.
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