Should I say something about IVF?

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angell1

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yesterday, out of nowhere my boss at work mentioned to me that she is planning to to do ivf in the future. apparently, it has been difficult for her and her husband to conceive. She then asked me if I knew that ivf could result in twins more easily which I indicated that I was aware of that. She then went on excitedly about how she would want twins. at that point, another team leader came over and needed to talk to her, so we never finished the conversation.

now, I know that this is a very serious moral issue. my obss knows that I am catholic since we talked about my world youth days experiences. She has also mentioned that she is from an irish family and is also catholic, but I really get the impression that she is not really in to the faith that much, just beased on the things she says and the expressions she uses.

our relationship is fairly solid from our interactions over the last few months and she tends to open up to me a lot, so there is a chance she might bring it up again. if she does, should I say something? however, I do know that she does tend to get upset and defensive easily, so even if I did, it’s not very likely to do any good. but it doesn’t really sit well not to say anything at all either.

it’s realy complicated. she used to sound a bit scornful about being catholic, until I said I was as well, then she seemed to act a bit more positively about it, so I don’t know what God wants me to do in this situation. I know we should always be a good influence and set good examples, but I obviously don’t have authority over her, quite the opposite, and I wouldn’t say we are in the territory of close friends either. any ideas?
 
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well yes, except she keeps telling me more and mor personal stuff
 
It’s not a topic I would be comfortable discussing with my boss and it’s inappropriate of her to bring it up. I think my response would be to say it’s not something I know much about and then change the subject to something work related.
 
I personally don’t want to outright lie. and she doen’st bring it up with everyone, we’ve started establishing a relationship of trust.
 
  1. She shouldn’t have bought it up. It’s really not appropriate discussion for the workplace. But sh did, and she’s the boss, so you can’t really do much about that except change the subject.
  2. She’s the boss. It would inappropriate for you to talk to her about this unless she’s asked for your opinion as to its morality.
 
we talk about a lot of stuff, it was just another thing. I’m not planning on saying anything myself obviously, but she may bring it up again, I gues I will deal with it if she does. and I will rely on God to let me know what I should do if there is a clear indication
 
I won’t tell you what to do. To talk to her or not.

But I reccomend you pray for her not to get the procedure done and that God would guide her to what the Church teaches.
 
Please consider finishing the conversation with your boss. You were given a golden oppurtunity by it being interrupted, you can do some research and consider what to say. I would ask for a few minutes of her time when she is available to finish the conversation. Something along the lines of, “I understand how much people long to have children and feel so much compassion for those who struggle with conceiving, but IVF creates human beings that will knowingly be allowed to die so that one human being can satisfy this longing. The process is inhumane and the Church teaches that it is a grave moral evil. I do not know that much about it but I just wanted you to know what the process is, does, and what the Church says about it so that you didn’t find out later, after the fact, and possibly come to regret the decision. I will say no more about it and not judge you for whatever you decide to do. I just feel compelled to reveal the truth that I do know.”

It will be hard but step out in trust, you will be amazed at how God can use your faith. I am praying for you and you boss.

God bless.
 
I know, and I understand that it’s a very difficult thing. I will only say something if a clear opportunity presents itself
 
I honestly don’t think I am at that point with her yet to make such a bold move by bringing it up myself. I think in this case, that would do more harm than good. she had also asked me to keep this a secret. thank you for the suggestion on how to phrase it, though, if the chance presents itself, I might mention something. it’s a very delicate balance between saying the right thing and potentially alienating the person
 
EXdrinker
the way you wrote is awesome … in future if i happen to be in such a situation i will tell this <3 !
 
angell1 said:
we talk about a lot of stuff, it was just another thing. I’m not planning on saying anything myself obviously, but she may bring it up again, I gues I will deal with it if she does. and I will rely on God to let me know what I should do if there is a clear indication
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Its not your business.
 
If your boss is pro life explaining what happens the babies that aren’t implanted may deter her. It is not the full story as to why IVF is wrong, but it is the easiest argument to make against it.
 
I hate getting blindsided by stuff like that.

But if I were in the situation, and the person doesn’t care about Church teaching, I would probably talk “around” the issue with a statement sorta like: sounds like you’ve been on a real rough road, and I’m so sorry. IVF doesn’t have a real great success rate, so if it were me, I’d save the money for adoption.
 
I think you should mention that ivf isnt a Catholic practice and leave it at that. I believe you have a duty as a Catholic to mention it , especially as it sounds like she doesnt know. You can’t not mention it (in my opinion) in good conscience if for no other reason than to let her know and also to let her know that you dont want to hear the ins and outs of it and secondly you could offer to get her material on it if she wishes to read more on it or other options (if you want to or if she looks interested). True what others say, she is your boss and personal talk may or may not be appropriate for work… this only you can say. I have been friends with my boss before sometimes and sometimes not, either way God comes first. But if she does not like what you say that will cure her of confiding in you anyway, if she reacts that way then she wasnt much of a friend to start with. She should either thank you for your honesty and go ahead or think on it and let the Holy Spirit work on her. Either way your duty is done and no sin rests on you, we do have a duty to admonish the sinner. Many lukewarm Catholics exist these days and part of the onus is on us fiery ones who dont stand up. Anyway that’s just my opinion, tell her, gently for sure, but tell her. God bless
 
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