Should I send something like this?

[graceandglory]

I asked this girl out to dinner about 3 weeks ago, and haven’t heard from her, neither did I try to contact her again. I’m thinking of sending her this as a last attempt. Please let me know what you think.

Hi xxx,

How are you? I get the feeling that you are on the fence about seeing me again; normally I would just let it go, but I wanted to be open and honest with you. Even though we’ve seen each other only a few times, I felt that we really connected, and we share the same values and goals in life. I hope that you will share your thoughts with me, and perhaps I can be of some help. In any case, I wanted to thank you for giving me the chance to get to know a great girl like you. I hope you are well, and may God bless you richly always.

Take care,

xxx

Does it sound a little too over the top? Basically, I’m trying to say that if there’s a chance to work it out, I’m game; otherwise, best of luck to you.

Thank you in advance!

No, no, no…Don’t send that. If she’s not sure how she feels, that will kill any sentiment instantly.

Confidence is the fuel for romantic love.

Read Mars and Venus on a Date.

Men who come on too strong, or who put their emotions out there too early, make a woman feel pressured to meet his commitment level and the woman will back off.

Not good.

Just say, “hey, want to go get coffee this Saturday?”

 

[graceandglory]

Go see “He’s Not that Into You” in the theaters. Shoot, invite her to go see it, you guys would have plenty to talk about afterwards! It’s really funny, and has a strong message against shacking up and adultery.

 

[graceandglory]

I asked her out again at the end of the date, and she said yes, and even said she’d keep in touch before she saw me the next time, which she did, a couple of times. If she’s not interested, why would she lead me on like that?

DUDE!!! You dropped the ball! You didn’t call her! She is not going to keep calling you. It is your turn!

 

[SomeCatholicGuy]

DUDE!!! You dropped the ball! You didn’t call her! She is not going to keep calling you. It is your turn!

Well, it’s true that I didn’t call her, but I did ask her out to dinner in an email. Was I supposed to have called instead?

 

[chevalier]

Well, it’s true that I didn’t call her, but I did ask her out to dinner in an email. Was I supposed to have called instead?

Yes and we told you. Phone > mail. Yes, I know it’s daunting, but when I was 17, I read out poems in ancient Greek before phoning to keep my tongue from tying into a knot and these days I can pull off anything with my voice that doesn’t require singing. Practice is the way.

This girl sounds like a jerk, or a tease.

Stay away.

In my experience, when a girl you like starts ignoring you, she’s not worth your time.

I don’t necessarily agree with the fact findings, but the principle is completely right.

Trust me, I’ve been through it and its stupid, and sucks beyond belief.

I can say the same.

If I were you, I’d adopt a “who cares?” attitude.

Who cares about a “who cares?” attitude! Just move on instead.

I agree with you guys, but it’s easier said than done, no?

Yes, but good things come from doing the difficult thing and bad things come from doing the easy thing.

he said I should see her again, and I was like, well, it’s kinda up to her. Wondering if I should call her. At least she didn’t seem mad or annoyed at me.

She’s not your boss. Repeat after me: she’s not my boss. Don’t fear withdrawal. Sometimes a girl will bestow social favours on you and then threaten withdrawal if you don’t do what she wants. Or she will simply more or less subconsciously hold back if your behaviour doesn’t please her, until you get the idea and fix your behaviour. You need to be resistant to that. Don’t fall victim to easy stick and carrot mechanics. And especially don’t create them for yourself on your own. Don’t walk on eggshells and don’t treat a girl like an sociopathic tyrant who will be mad if you fall short of her expectations.

This said, call her if you’re still interested. If not, then not. And no mails. Phone.

 

[whatevergirl]

I hesitate to use this cliche saying…but…“maybe she’s just not that into you.”

I really think…with all the effort you put into dating this girl…and if she doesn’t appreicate it…then, you should find someone who’ll appreciate the efforts…they are out there SomeCatholicGuy…

Just think you should take Belgarion’s advice…Good luck to you!

 

[SomeCatholicGuy]

Thank you all for your advice. I decided to not call her after all, and just let it go.

 

[SomeCatholicGuy]

Hi all, a little update on this. Like I said, I was going to just let it go, but I just got an email from her saying that she would like to get together. I’m thinking it’s because her meeting my roommate at the event is such a coincidence. But, with God, there’re no coincidences, so is He trying to tell me something? Thanks in advance!

 

[KC91]

Write a letter to her address and spray it with perfume.

Oh yes, and use very romantic language…

napoleonguide.com/lovelett.htm

 

[KC91]

Ah, you get a reply from her!? Congratulations! Act on it as soon as possible before the opportunity slips away.

 

[baylee]

I have tried calling her in the past, but I’ve never had much luck getting through to her, so most of the time I’ve had to leave a message, then she’d email me back.

Has she EVER called you? It sounds like the only way she communicates with you is via email…and I find that quite suspicious. How did you meet her in the first place?

 

[SomeCatholicGuy]

Has she EVER called you? It sounds like the only way she communicates with you is via email…and I find that quite suspicious. How did you meet her in the first place?

She has called me once, when we first got together. Other times, it’s mostly emails and texts. Personally, I’m not going to read too much into it at this point. Maybe she wants to save her cell phone minutes, who knows? I met her at Bible study.

I should also mention that the one time in the past this did happen (her hiding something), she did call, and I called her, so this isn’t really indicative of that kind of behavior. In that case, the girl had a b/f that she was hiding, and she wanted to date both. She ended up losing both.

 

[baylee]

She has called me once, when we first got together. Other times, it’s mostly emails and texts. Personally, I’m not going to read too much into it at this point. Maybe she wants to save her cell phone minutes, who knows? I met her at Bible study.

Well, I would keep it in the back of your mind for future reference. Generally speaking, I do not get a good feeling from this whole situation (your posts in addition to her actions).

 

[KC91]

She has a turbulent emotional life, to say the least.

 

[Magicsilence]

Hi all, a little update on this. Like I said, I was going to just let it go, but I just got an email from her saying that she would like to get together. I’m thinking it’s because her meeting my roommate at the event is such a coincidence. But, with God, there’re no coincidences, so is He trying to tell me something? Thanks in advance!

Maybe she likes the challenge of someone who doesn’t fawn over her?

But when you show you are interested its not so fun any more for her, so she moves on elsewhere

Do you really want to get married to someone who is ALREADY playing emotional games, after seeing each other once?

I’d move on, however much she wants to get together, she sounds like trouble.

 

[chevalier]

I’m inclined to agree with moving on. People shouldn’t be crossed out for one mistake they made at some point, or one case of not so great behaviour. Let’s give them the benefit of doubt. On the other hand, people who are given to strange emotional reactions can be a pain to have a relationship with. Move on.

 

[SomeCatholicGuy]

Thank you for your advice. I agree that there has been a decent amount of drama already, and that’s probably why she wants to wait a month before seeing each other again. I don’t know if she’s blowing me off or whatever, but I tend to agree with waiting a bit, because it’s gotten a little weird. It’s not entirely her fault; I’m to take some of the blame, too. I think there was some miscommunication, but hopefully it can be worked out.

Basically it went something like this. We met at Bible study. She asked me to go there together. We did, had coffee before going, and had a good time. I dropped her off at her place. I asked her out to church together, but she didn’t respond, probably because I told her I might be leaving within a year. She finally got back to me after a month, apologized profusely, and wanted to see me again soon. So we make a date for coffee. On the day of, she had to work late, so she sent me an email asking to reschedule (with specific dates). I got upset and didn’t respond till the morning of the day she suggested and said no, but let’s reschedule for some other time (w/o suggesting a time). Then I changed my mind, and kept sending her emails, until I got a response to set up another date. We met, had a good time (coffee and ice cream), and I asked her out again at the end of the date, to which she said yes. But during the date, I also told her I’ve made up my mind to apply to leave in about 9 months. I asked her out again after the holidays, to which she didn’t respond. So I got upset and thought what’s the point, so I removed her from Facebook. A week later I find out that I’m staying, so I sent her an email on Valentine’s Day to ask her if she still wanted to get together, and re-added her on Facebook. Then I asked my roommate if he saw her at this event she works, tell her I said hi. I wasn’t expecting anything, but I got an email from her. Anyway, the rest you’ve probably already read from my previous posts. So that’s the background story.

I really like this girl, but I think I may have messed things up pretty bad, so I’m keeping my expectations low. I was really surprised she got back to me at all, though.

 

[chevalier]

I change my advice. Talk to hear about it. Openly. STOP THE MIND BOGGLING. Ekhm.

Really. You don’t need the headache. Just tell her it feels weird and you’d like to clear it up.

 

[SomeCatholicGuy]

I change my advice. Talk to hear about it. Openly. STOP THE MIND BOGGLING. Ekhm.

Really. You don’t need the headache. Just tell her it feels weird and you’d like to clear it up.

Thanks, man! I already replied to her email. I didn’t bring it up. My thinking was that if she doesn’t bring it up, then I’m not going to bring it up, since it’s already in the past. Like I said, I’m keeping my expectations low and giving her her space. If she wants to see me, she will let me know. Like the proverb says: Let her go. If she comes back, she’s yours; if she doesn’t, she was never yours. I pray it’s the former, though.

 

[whatevergirl]

Okay, all of this makes perfect sense now, CatholicGuy. Ok. In the beginning stages of dating, there are no ground rules, or any pre-conceived notions of how things should go…it either flows or it doesn’t. Getting to know someone you like, shouldn’t be ‘work.’ You have a job I presume, and you don’t need another one. That being said, it DID seem like things were flowing, albeit you got frustrated now and again (pride) but things seem to move back on track. I really think the monkey wrench came in when you told her you were thinking of moving away…I don’t blame her for backing off at that stage. I mean, why get involved with someone who might be leaving?

Now, it sounds like things are back on track. Just get back into the flow, and see where it leads. Again, if it starts to feel like work or a job…don’t continue with someone. That is often a sign that you don’t fit well together.

I think things will get back on track here…just don’t get too worried…if it’s meant to be, God will make it all work out–I believe this. God bless.