Should I stay or should I go now?

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Sometimes I feel like I’m being pulled out of the Catholic Church. Seriously. What words would you have for someone like me? How would you “re-evangelize” me?

Having grown-up Catholic, I deepened my Catholic faith several years ago when challenged by Protestant friends to take my faith seriously. Their misrepresentations of Catholic teaching sparked a drive to study and learn my faith, praying, reading the catechism and Scripture to find answers to questions of faith that arose. At times I have spent time attempting to defend or represent the Catholic faith on an anti-Catholic forum. It is amazing the anomosity some former “Catholics” have for the Catholic faith.

However, one of the thoughts that keeps coming back to me, is concerning recognizing true faith by the fruits. Which of course can be subjective or biased. Mt 7:16-20 "“You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. So then, you will know them by their fruits.”

Recently, for some reason I have become more aware of when the fruit of faith seems more or less apparent; granted it is only my opinion. For example, maybe it’s just where I live and work, however it seems like many at Mass just are not interested in greeting one another with a sign of peace. Also, when Catholics are asked about briefly explaining what they believe, there often seems a hesitancy to share that (and sometimes appear unable to explain), where that hesitancy is usually not there among many Protestants I meet. Then, most (not all!) Catholics I talk with, unless they are priests, seem much less comfortable with referencing and understanding Scripture, where that comfort is usually there among many Protestants I meet. Finally, reading a thread tonight about the perpetual virginity, which I myself question, I found the Protestant posters reasonable and charitable, while I could not always view many of the Catholic replies as reasonable and charitable. And other experiences particularly over the last week, and also over the last few years, have led me to wonder, how did we get into the state of often not being able to share or reflect in our actions what we profess to believe, or not be fluent in Scripture and the catechism, while we can often quote the lastest statistics of our favorite sports team and players, and what time the next game is on, and what channel?

I guess I’m just a little discouraged that we can sometimes “defend” or argue for the perpetual virginity of Mary (or against Protestant teachings) with little, if any, directly referenced support from the Early Church Fathers, which we indirectly make reference to, yet at the same time have difficulty explaining the basics of what we believe and why, often with little if any Scripture references.

I remember listening to EWTN on the way to work yesterday morning, and hearing a homily focusing on how marvelous St Francis was, and wondering why it is seldom mentioned that as a young adult, he stole from his own father? Can we not see the good in a saint, without being afraid to admit they were human with faults and temptations as we have today as Catholics?

God bless,

Michael
 
Michael,

I’ll keep your struggles in my prayers.

My thought for you is maybe your frustration with your fellow parishioners is a result of Him asking you to help. I would guess a lot of Catholic know scripture well, but can’t quote it verse and line. I hear a lot of, “I know some where in the gospel it says…” Maybe **He **is asking you to lead a bible study at your parish. Create a dialogue about faith with your fellow parishioners.

Reflect on:

1 Corinthians
Chapter 9:19-27

Although I am free in regard to all, I have made myself a slave to all so as to win over as many as possible.
To the Jews I became like a Jew to win over Jews; to those under the law I became like one under the law–though I myself am not under the law–to win over those under the law.
To those outside the law I became like one outside the law–though I am not outside God’s law but within the law of Christ–to win over those outside the law.
To the weak I became weak, to win over the weak. I have become all things to all, to save at least some.
All this I do for the sake of the gospel, so that I too may have a share in it.
Do you not know that the runners in the stadium all run in the race, but only one wins the prize? Run so as to win.
Every athlete exercises discipline in every way. They do it to win a perishable crown, but we an imperishable one.
Thus I do not run aimlessly; I do not fight as if I were shadowboxing.
No, I drive my body and train it, for fear that, after having preached to others, I myself should be disqualified.

And

Hebrews 12,5-7.11-13.

You have also forgotten the exhortation addressed to you as sons: “My son, do not disdain the discipline of the Lord or lose heart when reproved by him;
for whom the Lord loves, he disciplines; he scourges every son he acknowledges.”
Endure your trials as “discipline”; God treats you as sons. For what “son” is there whom his father does not discipline?
At the time, all discipline seems a cause not for joy but for pain, yet later it brings the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who are trained by it.
So strengthen your drooping hands and your weak knees.
Make straight paths for your feet, that what is lame may not be dislocated but healed
 
Mt_28_19_20 said:
Sometimes I feel like I’m being pulled out of the Catholic Church. Seriously. What words would you have for someone like me? How would you “re-evangelize” me?
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One thing I would caution you against is the “grass is greener on the other side” syndrome. I’ve been Protestant since I started going to church in high school, and while some of the things you mention may be somewhat true, there is just as much variety in commitment to the faith in protestant churches as there is in Catholic churches. In the Methodist church I was going to, I would say the large majority of people had very little idea of what Methodism teaches beyond the very basics. And that has seemed to be true for most of the churches I’ve been to. I’m not saying that they aren’t trying to faithfully live out Christian teachings as best as they can, but most people just believe and don’t really know a whole lot about the whys. And maybe this is ok, just how we are all created differently or maybe it is bad, I don’t know. 🤷
I guess I’m just a little discouraged that we can sometimes “defend” or argue for the perpetual virginity of Mary (or against Protestant teachings) with little, if any, directly referenced support from the Early Church Fathers, which we indirectly make reference to, yet at the same time have difficulty explaining the basics of what we believe and why, often with little if any Scripture references.
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I’ll try and explain how all of this makes sense in my head, and maybe it will help you too, or maybe not. 🤷 The thing I have to remember is that this whole body of doctrine that we have now didn’t just fall out of the sky one day, it developed over time. And if you are an early Christian, your biggest concern is just figuring out who Jesus is and how to apply all of this stuff that he told you to do to your every day life, in an environment that is rather hostile to your faith. When you are just struggling to survive, you aren’t that concerned about the finer details of everything. Then as those things get settled, you want to start figuring out who exactly Jesus is. So then comes what we would consider the basics of our faith, Jesus is God and Man, the trinity, things like that. But if you are figuring out these details, you still aren’t that concerned with the more out lying things like was Mary always a virgin or what exactly is the popes role. And then as you sort out the basics, you more on to those out lying things. And all of this generally happens as other people are saying counter things and you have to figure out which one is true. So it makes sense that the Bible, which is more concerned with how to live as Christians and the basics, and the Early Church Fathers, who were sorting out the basics, don’t have a whole lot to say on Mary’s perpetual virginity. But we get ALL of Tradition to help us understand, and that is exciting! 😃
I remember listening to EWTN on the way to work yesterday morning, and hearing a homily focusing on how marvelous St Francis was, and wondering why it is seldom mentioned that as a young adult, he stole from his own father? Can we not see the good in a saint, without being afraid to admit they were human with faults and temptations as we have today as Catholics?
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I don’t know about totally ignoring those bad parts, the book I was reading last night talked about it. And I’ve heard it mentioned fairly often what a partier and ladies man that Saint Augustine was before his conversion. And also how many times do we want to dwell on the bad of the people who have died. I mean have you ever been to a funeral and heard about how horrible the person was? It just seems to be how we are, to focus on the good parts, the parts that we want to emulate.
 
Yes, what Karen says is true, Michael. Do not judge the Catholic faith by people who say they are Catholic. Judge your faith based on what it professes. Since our faith is a hospital for sinners, not a club for saints, you have to know that there are some of us who are everything under the sun, from the homeless guy on the street to the most scholarly Bishop you can think of. Our Church is filled with all kinds. So there will be grumpy, unfriendly, unseemly people in the pews every Sunday somewhere.

But it’s the faith that counts. So keep your eyes focussed on what our faith teaches. It’s ok to have questions, but remember that our answers, seen through the eyes of man, might make no sense. Our answers, seen through the eyes of faith, bring us closer to seeing God.
 
Mt_28_19_20 said:
Sometimes I feel like I’m being pulled out of the Catholic Church…Recently, for some reason I have become more aware of when the fruit of faith seems more or less apparent…For example…it seems like many at Mass just are not interested in greeting one another with a sign of peace…Catholics are asked…there often seems a hesitancy to share…where that hesitancy is usually not there among many Protestants…Catholics I talk with, unless they are priests, seem much less comfortable…referencing and understanding Scripture…that comfort is usually there among many Protestants I meet. Finally, reading a thread tonight about the perpetual virginity, which I myself question…over the last week, and also over the last few years, have led me to wonder, how did we get into the state of often not being able to share or reflect in our actions what we profess to believe, or not be fluent in Scripture and the catechism, while we can often quote the lastest statistics of our favorite sports team and players, and what time the next game is on, and what channel? I guess I’m just a little discouraged that we can sometimes “defend” or argue for the perpetual virginity of Mary (or against Protestant teachings) with little, if any, directly referenced support from the Early Church Fathers, which we indirectly make reference to, yet at the same time have difficulty explaining the basics of what we believe and why, often with little if any Scripture references. God bless,
Michael
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Michael, you are experiencing spiritual dryness, which puts you in the company of Mother Teresa. You are crossing a desert, maybe looking down at your steps, which conceals not only your progress, but your goal. The narrow gate awaits you, but you must focus on it and stirve your entire life long to reach it.

Your complaints are real, but not terribly important regarding your relationship with God. Those at mass run the gamut from spirit-filled and alive all the way to drones, who attend because they always have, or their spouse does. That affects you only if you allow it to. You have been placed in the church precisely to lead, to provide good example, to teach, yes even to inspire others. By focusing on them, you may have started to become like them! You are called to be radiant, as Christ is radiant. Focus on Christ. Nothing else matters. Were Christ to return tomorrow on the clouds of heaven, do you think you would be sullen because some of those around you doubted? NO! You would be transfixed by His glory!

The American Bishops are in need of prayer. Most have remained steadfast in their faith, but some have drifted, and the catechesis of the church is abyssmal. You see the results of this constantly in Catholics’ hesitancy to explain their faith when challenged. YOU, Michael, are part of the reversing trend.

As to the perpetual virginity of Mary, that’s easy for me. I had “the Mary problem” for years. Then, at a bible study taught by a Domincan Priest from Nigeria, it all suddenly clicked. I put it in a post which, if I can locate it, I will send. It is essentially a private revelation, but what was revealed applies to any seeker.

BUT, leaving the church is walking away from the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity, the physical presence of Christ Himself. Patience, my brother, you are not wandering in the desert, you are crossing it.

Christ’s peace be always with you.
 
Mt_28_19_20 said:
Sometimes I feel like I’m being pulled out of the Catholic Church. Seriously. What words would you have for someone like me? How would you “re-evangelize” me?

Having grown-up Catholic, I deepened my Catholic faith several years ago when challenged by Protestant friends to take my faith seriously. Their misrepresentations of Catholic teaching sparked a drive to study and learn my faith, praying, reading the catechism and Scripture to find answers to questions of faith that arose. At times I have spent time attempting to defend or represent the Catholic faith on an anti-Catholic forum. It is amazing the anomosity some former “Catholics” have for the Catholic faith.

However, one of the thoughts that keeps coming back to me, is concerning recognizing true faith by the fruits. Which of course can be subjective or biased. Mt 7:16-20 "“You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. So then, you will know them by their fruits.”

Recently, for some reason I have become more aware of when the fruit of faith seems more or less apparent; granted it is only my opinion. For example, maybe it’s just where I live and work, however it seems like many at Mass just are not interested in greeting one another with a sign of peace. Also, when Catholics are asked about briefly explaining what they believe, there often seems a hesitancy to share that (and sometimes appear unable to explain), where that hesitancy is usually not there among many Protestants I meet. Then, most (not all!) Catholics I talk with, unless they are priests, seem much less comfortable with referencing and understanding Scripture, where that comfort is usually there among many Protestants I meet. Finally, reading a thread tonight about the perpetual virginity, which I myself question, I found the Protestant posters reasonable and charitable, while I could not always view many of the Catholic replies as reasonable and charitable. And other experiences particularly over the last week, and also over the last few years, have led me to wonder, how did we get into the state of often not being able to share or reflect in our actions what we profess to believe, or not be fluent in Scripture and the catechism, while we can often quote the lastest statistics of our favorite sports team and players, and what time the next game is on, and what channel?

I guess I’m just a little discouraged that we can sometimes “defend” or argue for the perpetual virginity of Mary (or against Protestant teachings) with little, if any, directly referenced support from the Early Church Fathers, which we indirectly make reference to, yet at the same time have difficulty explaining the basics of what we believe and why, often with little if any Scripture references.

I remember listening to EWTN on the way to work yesterday morning, and hearing a homily focusing on how marvelous St Francis was, and wondering why it is seldom mentioned that as a young adult, he stole from his own father? Can we not see the good in a saint, without being afraid to admit they were human with faults and temptations as we have today as Catholics?

God bless,

Michael
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Some of what you say here sounds like confusion and quibble. Leave the Catholic Church because somebody didn’t mention St. Francis’ entire biography during a homily on EWTN? Leave because people cannot articulate their faith?

Please.

Sounds to me like you have been placed in a position to BE thre fruit and stop worrying about where other people are on the path. How about signing up to teach Religious Ed, if you’re all that concerned about how well Catholics know their faith.

Money . . . mouth! 👍
 
Dear Michael,

I think everyone in their faith journey reaches points of doubt, questioning, exploration, bliss, renewal, etc.

It sounds to me like you need a Catholic community that is more open and supportive of your needs. Please don’t judge the faith by its parishioners. We are all sinners! If it seems like a tomb in there, I would try out other parishes in your area to find a more vibrant community.

In the meantime, I would spend some time on Catholic apologetics on the areas you feel unsure about. www.salvationhistory.org is a great website that has free online classes. Scott Hahn is a great Catholic apologist whose conversion story is very powerful. He was once protestant ministers and discovered the Catholic faith and now spends his time defending it. Very powerful stuff!

Lastly, I would spend time each day in prayer. Specifically, pray in front of our Lord’s presence in the Blessed Sacrament. Take your bible there, pray, and sit with Him. I take all my worries there and like gently untying the most stubborn knot, the Lord manages to speak to my heart and eventually give me the answers I need to steps I need to take. Trust in the Lord! He will lead you!

So try other communites, read, and pray!

I will keep you in my prayers, Michael.

In Peace,
DS
 
Dearest brother Michael.
I totally understand you… welcome to the club…
Everyone of those things you describe I have been asking myself within the last two years or so (I have been Catholic only four)

To sum up my thoughts:
-Catholics seem to show no enthusiasm
  • unwilling to evangelise
  • unaware of Scripture and the Bible is hardly ever seen at Mass
  • no teaching on the Bible as in laying out salvation history with powerful and challenging preaching …
  • the displaying of saints as angels and the apparent linking holiness with the gifts of the Holy Spirit as if these two were intimately linked which is not always the case.
    -a totally passified laity vs. the words in 1 Cor 12.
  • no really well founded apologetics for the ideas that seem most foreign to Protestants, like the dogmas about Mary, it seems the Catholic Church has complicated many things and made less important things too important.
As I said… I find these things continuously a problem to understand… and I have thought the same as you: our evangelical brethren may have imperfect teaching but they produce much fruit, whereas Catholics often have the fullness of truth but fail to put it into action.

I personally think that the problem could be solved by the Church, in the top, to make a kind of reformation where 1. Cor 12 was taken as a model of and for the Church. The piece is famous and about the various ministries in the assembly. Personally I dont see such a reformation coming though and I wait more eagerly for the Holy Spirit to give us a needed revival soon…
You see, we are all the same… we just need to be appreciated in the Church and put into use as the tools in God’s Hands. I think there is something wrong with the system in a way…

As I said. I am a convert myself. After huge struggles I have come to the decision upon what I believe God is saying to me: Stay in the Catholic Church. You must follow Truth… and I will work vigoriously in my own little circles to wake up the sleepy and tell them: hey our brothers do this and that… isn’t that great…
I go to the evangelicals as well and tell them about the historical continuity of Catholicism and that it is really the only logic choice to be Catholic when it comes to the question of authority. I truly believe in humility and work for unity.

Sorry I write so much Michael. I would suggest you go to speroforum.com if you wanna really see some awesome catholic-evangelical debates 🙂

In Jesus, praised be His Name. And dont be afraid to ask and be critical… ignore the lofty people who wont even agree there is a problem. If you have a problem… we all have a problem for where one limp suffers, the whole body is out of balance.
Grace.
 
Hi, Michael,

Since so many have responded to you so well, I just want to toss in my :twocents: about St. Francis.
Most people I know actually like to hear about the fact that the saints had flaws, failings and the same things we all deal with. It shows they stuggled with their sinful humanity, same as us! It also shows that we all can emulate their holiness, despite our predispostion to sin. One poster mentioned St. Augustine, who I love and strive to emulate. Not because of his sins, but because of the love of God that sprang out of his former life! Which he himself never hesitated to talk about. (hence…Confessions…)

It brings to mind the scripture verse, “he who has been forgiven much, loves much.”

And a favorite quote of mine by my pastor, “holiness is found in the struggle.”

God Bless you on your journey of Faith

Peace,

Kelly
 
GraceDK said:
-Catholics seem to show no enthusiasm
  • unwilling to evangelise
  • unaware of Scripture and the Bible is hardly ever seen at Mass
  • no teaching on the Bible as in laying out salvation history with powerful and challenging preaching …
  • the displaying of saints as angels and the apparent linking holiness with the gifts of the Holy Spirit as if these two were intimately linked which is not always the case.
    -a totally passified laity vs. the words in 1 Cor 12.
  • no really well founded apologetics for the ideas that seem most foreign to Protestants, like the dogmas about Mary, it seems the Catholic Church has complicated many things and made less important things too important.
As I said… I find these things continuously a problem to understand… and I have thought the same as you: our evangelical brethren may have imperfect teaching but they produce much fruit, whereas Catholics often have the fullness of truth but fail to put it into action.

I personally think that the problem could be solved by the Church, in the top, to make a kind of reformation where 1. Cor 12 was taken as a model of and for the Church.
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I have seen the solution, and he is us (Apologies to Waly Kelly r.i.p.). You and I are the ones in the street, the ones in the debates, the ones in the world. You and I are the solution. One soul at a time. It’s at God’s pace, not ours. We all want a miracle. Sometimes, miracles take decades or longer, as in St. Augustine’s case. St, Monica didn’t give up, and neither should we.

I would rather be alone in the church of truth, than celebrating amidst liars.

Christ’s peace be always with you.
 
“I would rather be alone in the church of truth, than celebrating amidst liars”. - PO18

Its not that simple. Our evangelical brethren are not liars.
I see it like this. there is a huge deposit of faith and The Catholic Church is, in theory, knowing about all things concerning a healthy life in God.

But we all live in a local parish … the Church we experience there better be the one that can hold on to us… this is not about what is written in books… but about a living faith in a living congregation. We need to see this… we are not so strong, most of us, that we can stand alone in a cold Church and listen to the mumble of a priest who seems to have lost all enthusiasm. The Church must be represented both in theory and action as the true living Church.

Now I have been attending a local pentecostal Church which has been beriching to my life because they had some practical clarity about some things that I did not experience in my Catholic parish where I felt rather unwelcome at times in my passionate faith: Here I found people that were totally like myself: and there was joy, loving fellowship, ministries among the laity, enthusiasm, healings, personal testimony of becoming a believer and being baptised in the Holy Spirit/personal pentecost, prophesy, word of wisdom and knowledge - all in all what Scripture defines as edifying Ecclesia… and these things took place every Sunday in front of my eyes…
I was welcomed there … I thought: I am coming to teach my brethren, but after a while I was greatly humbled and silenced. I saw that we need some of what they got… I am not going to apologize for this… I have tried sharing my experiences with many priests and laity in the Catholic Church … all the laity agreed. Half the priests were enthusiastic and said it is true, this is what we need… others were angered and told me off in a most pridefull manner even sometimes speaking agaisnt the Holy Spirit.
Monica has been with the Lord for a long time… lets focus on the here and now and the people of God whom He is just waiting to give His gifts and wonders.
 
Two quotations come to mind:

Don’t worry about finding a perfect parish, because as soon as you join it, it won’t be perfect anymore.

The second is a paraphrase of Scott Hahn: If you want the fullness of truth, you just have to put up with what goes on in church. You just have to stand it.

Become part of the solution.
 
I dont agree with you mercygate…
I would rather invite more people to become visionaries… otherwise we will see much more young people joining those other churches that dont just “let be” but in their zeal has some ideas about how to always make growth both as a community and as individuals.
The devastating consequences of the 1500-reformation was due to passiveness and corruption in the Church which we have been given to take of like a garden of precious vines.
 
GraceDK said:
I dont agree with you mercygate…
I would rather invite more people to become visionaries… otherwise we will see much more young people joining those other churches that dont just “let be” but in their zeal has some ideas about how to always make growth both as a community and as individuals.
The devastating consequences of the 1500-reformation was due to passiveness and corruption in the Church which we have been given to take of like a garden of precious vines.
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Perhaps you missed the last line of my post?

BE PART OF THE SOLUTION.
 
Okay…
I take it you agree with me then.

I just assumed that you agreed with the quotation you made yourself: “Scott Hahn: If you want the fullness of truth, you just have to put up with what goes on in church. You just have to stand it.” I assumed that this was what you meant by solution. Therefore I had so say I dissagree.

first we recognize the propblems… then we can solve them.
 
GraceDK said:
Okay…
I take it you agree with me then.

I just assumed that you agreed with the quotation you made yourself: “Scott Hahn: If you want the fullness of truth, you just have to put up with what goes on in church. You just have to stand it.” I assumed that this was what you meant by solution. Therefore I had so say I dissagree.

first we recognize the propblems… then we can solve them.
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Absolutely. My first suggestion to the OP was to volunteer to teach religious ed. That’s what I did when I caught myself whining about how Catholics were so ill-informed about their faith.

Watch out sixth grade! Mercygate is in CHARGE!
 
thats good…
God bless you for your good work.
I, as a new Catholic still, work only in my own little privat co-orporation for understanding and love and recognition between brothers in the Body of Christ. I feel a calling to work for unity… I have to admit that most of my succes have been with the pentecostals… they treat and view me as one of their own and having been among them so long they are inclined to respect my Church for the little they know of it…namely me and the things I tell them when the chance comes, like a few days ago I had a spontaneous talk about miracles in the Catholic Church and Fatima. The eyes were wide open and the people urged me on without any prejudice but a great deal of respect at curiosity.

I have a dream of one day writing books like Scott Hahn’s in my country…but I feel I must be a bit more rooted before I can really do a good work… then I would also teach. I have this huge dream of going to Steubenville to take a masters in theology next year… (I cannot study Catholic theology in my country) but I havent got a dime in my pocket so you bet I need a miracle 🙂

God bless you sister.
 
po18guy said:
BUT, leaving the church is walking away from the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity, the physical presence of Christ Himself. Patience, my brother, you are not wandering in the desert, you are crossing it.
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Amen to this! And remember how God nourishes His children while they are journeying in the desert…with supernatural food… Manna! Except in our case, Jesus HIMSELF is the food for the journey… there is no walking away from that! Where else can you be fed this way?

Let me add my voice to the chorus for Scott Hahn. His recent book “Reasons to Believe” is so awesome.

I have been a Catholic convert for 12 years now. I have run the gamut of ecstatic, complacent, bored, and completely on fire for the faith. There are seasons, it seems. Alot depends on the energy I put into staying active and involved in my faith journey. But one thing I have learned is that the experience in my parish church will never influence my opinion of the Catholic Church. Nor will my experiences at other Christian Churches that seem to have all the good stuff. There are faithful, robust Catholics online, at conferences, even at work if you care to find them. And that great music they play in non-denom churches is fully available on CD, and even Catholic artists make great music like this ( i.e. Josh Blakesley). No church has everything… but we have the one irreplaceable thing… Jesus in the eucharist. Who could leave?
 
I too am struggling with my faith and I never thought I would. My husband lost his job and through no choice of my own, I recently relocated to a small town with 1 Catholic church after being in my old church for over 10 years. I was deeply rooted in my old church and felt strong in my faith. I felt fed at mass and was proud to call myself Catholic. I was the choir director and leader of a mom’s group. I frequently cantored for diocesan masses and even directed choirs for priest and deaconate ordinations. I have been a cantor for 23 years and a choir director for 10. It was joy to hear the congregation singing God’s Praises and to help plan music that flowed with the readings.

In my new church, I dread going to mass. I come home and cry every week. There is some pretty sloppy, less than inspiring liturgy going on. The church doesn’t sing the Eucharistic Acclamations and Easter Vigil was awful (Lectors who weren’t sure what reading to read, spoken psalms so it wouldn’t be too long, general chaos about which rite came next, etc). This church has gone through 10 priests in 15 years. Our 2 priests now are on loan from other countries.

When I moved, I didn’t expect to be offered a choir director or cantor position. I knew I was starting over and that other people were likely filling those roles. I feel called to sing so I joined the choir. But the inexperience and lack of leadership fill me with despair. The congregation doesn’t sing. I itch to effect change but have no history here or opportunity. The music leaders don’t want to do things differently than the ways they have always done it. I want to respect their history with the parish but I know how it could be better.

When I moved here, I was excited that the church had a Catholic preschool but I quickly found out it wasn’t the gift I had hoped for. On the first day of class, the bathrooms were filthy, the teacher sat at a desk all day, and discipline was poor. There were no telltale Catholic activities to do. I saw children playing with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. After 1 day, I pulled my two kids and took them to the Lutheran preschool where they at least learn that Jesus loves them.

I have been a public school teacher for 10 years and volunteered to teach CCD. I was told they needed me and then the day before classes started, I was told that the old teacher was coming back and they didn’t need me after all.

My children are miserable in mass. I have two preschool aged boys who are bored stiff. We spend all of mass telling them to be quiet, not to stomp in the pews, to stop fighting with each other. I asked if there was ever Children’s Liturgy of the Word and people said there used to be. I asked Fr. if I/we could start it up again, and that I would lead it every week. He said no, that children need to learn to be in mass. My husband and I are trying to get them to learn the the prayers, sing the songs, and kneel/stand when we do. We pray at home and talk about our faith all the time. My youngest is particularly a problem. Ever since we’ve moved, he fights us about going to church. Our oldest son just pretends to sleep. There is no preschool CCD. My kids are learning more from the Lutherans than they are their own church.

I am sincerely trying to get involved in this church but feel like I am hitting a brick wall. I know the faith is more than this one parish but I am so distracted by the things that are driving me crazy that I have a hard time focussing in mass. I am trying to get over my control issues and give it to God. I have been trying for a year. I am not doing very well. I feel like my fire is dying.

This parish is the only one for 40 miles. My husband has a public job and doesn’t want it to look bad if we left to go to another parish.

I have started to seriously consider seeing what the Episcopalians have to offer or even the Lutherans where my children go to school. I like their pastor and believe he is a man of God.

I feel Catholic in my core. I know it is the true faith. I do feel frustrated by the church’s responce to some of the gobal issues - sex abuse, married priests.

Stuggling. Not sure what to do.
 
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