Should I wear a veil to Mass...and during prayer?

[Beowulf]

I attend NO, but I think wearing a veil is lovely and dignified. My wife doesn’t veil, but a woman wearing a veil does not offend me. How could it? It’s between the woman and God.

 

[baltobetsy]

megangamble, there are gorgeous veils on Ebay. Do a search for “mantilla.”

Betsy

 

[Viva_Cantare]

I wear one to the TLM, but not usually at the NO. Unless there are other women wearing them at an NO mass, I usually don’t because otherwise I’m afraid I would come across as being “holier than thou.” It should reflect humility before the Lord rather than spiritual pride (and I’m just talking about myself here–not accusing anyone of anything!).

 

[megangamble]

I wear one to the TLM, but not usually at the NO. Unless there are other women wearing them at an NO mass, I usually don’t because otherwise I’m afraid I would come across as being “holier than thou.” It should reflect humility before the Lord rather than spiritual pride (and I’m just talking about myself here–not accusing anyone of anything!).

See that is what I am afraid of…I’m afraid that people will think that I am doing it for reasons of pride and I am also worried that I am subconciously doing it for those reasons. But I think that it is a special thing if I’ve decided to cover my head during Mass.
I’ve prayed about it though, and I think if I was doing it for those reasons, God would help me not feel so strongly about it and in turn I would not still be thinking about doing it. Does that make any sense? I’m a lil scatter brained sometimes lol.

 

[Beachcomber]

As has been mentioned, several Protestant denoms have head-coverings for women and they wear them all the time. Many Muslim women have decided to wear the hajib (and many don’t). My point is, I’ve observed that a woman gets treated a bit differently when she’s got a head covering.

And not in a bad way, either. There’s a respectfulness that I have really noticed in the way other people react. I’ve been around a lot of women who wear head coverings, so I’ve seen this. You make a statement about what you believe when you wear a head covering. Whether only at church or throughout the day; in public or in private.

If you feel led to wear one, go for it.

 

[Epsilon_Omega]

Hi!!! I’m a 20 y/o college student. I go to a private Catholic University and it’s brought me MUCH closer to Christ. I was wandering around some forums and I’m just kind of curious what people think about women wearing veils to Mass. NO ONE at my church wears veils…especially not the young women my age. I also read that I should wear one every time I pray?! I think it’s very respectful if I did wear one to Mass…and I’m trying to decide if I am going to, I’m going to feel a little strange at first, but I think it’s kind of…beautiful? That probably sounds weird but I think there is something to say for a young woman who has that deep respect for her Creator. Anyways, just kinda curious as to who thinks I should and who thinks I shouldn’t and also if I should wear one EVERY time I pray?
Thanks a bunch!

Modest girls (including ones with veils on ) have a special place in my heart. I am probably going to be a priest, but when I see a modest girl, part of me falls in love with them because they are holy woman and because they are going to be a good wife to some lucky man I so, I very much approve your wearing of veils. (Yea, like my approval really matters )

God bless you, and thank you for taking an active role in the catholic faith :hug1:

 

[PhilipCal]

Wearing a veil to Mass/prayer is strictly optional. If you wish to do so, go for it.

 

[CATTIE]

I think that this is a very interesting topic to discuss, and I have one suggestion…IT IS UP TO YOU.

I am not a Traditionalist Catholic, but I have friends that are, and they say that they wear veils to church. I wear simple shirts, jeans, and tennis shoes, and it is comfortable.

Also, if you do not want to wear a veil, that’s your choice. It is not up to anyone to decide for you, and whatever you want to wear, it is COMPLETELY up to you. YOU decide for yourself, and no one else can make the decision for you. I hope this helps. Peace, and God bless - CATTIE

 

[jabelltulsa]

I’m afraid that people will think that I am doing it for reasons of pride and I am also worried that I am subconciously doing it for those reasons.

Imagine how Mary felt being asked to carry Jesus. She was just a little girl who had the utmost humility, and no knowledge of the world. She accepted God’s will, and the calling to her to participate in His Incarnation - I’m sure she thought it would seem too bold to take on such a role. That may seem a bit too lofty for this discussion, but I am reminded of this when I contemplate your post.

Let me say this: we affect others with our appearance and examples. I have always been affected by the dress of women. I continually have to avert my eyes when I see a woman in immodest dress (for it leads me to temptation of sinful thoughts). What a relief for me it is to see a woman dress modestly, or to see a woman wear an article of clothing that symbolizes humility. This is exactly what the veil (and other head coverings) does. For me, it reminds me of the special role women play in our lives.

I don’t think you should be concerned too much on how it affects you (for we should strive to be selfless), per se, but rather how it looks to God. From what I have read, you are afraid of being Holier Than Thou, but I see it as being your brothers keeper (in that it inspires humility). I encourage you to wear the veil.

I, too, share the “gift” of scatter brainedness, so sorry if my post is all over the place.

Let me add, though, if it takes away from your ability to be focused in your prayers, then don’t.

Also, in my post above, I didn’t mean to make a suggestion that the immodest dress applied to you. You sound like an extremely modest person!!

 

[Brenda_V]

It shouldn’t be a choice. If you get a job as a lawyer or an accountant you wouldn’t normally expect to choose what sort of clothes to wear to work. You might choose the colour of your tie, but that’s it.
Similarly veils carry a lot of cultural connotations, and shouldn’t be a matter for the woman’s personal choice. The system yes for a TLM and no for NO seems reasonable to me.

Being as I attend a NO and it is a choice there I do choose not to. If I were to attend a TLM I have a veil to wear for that purpose and would spend much of Mass pulling it up/putting it back on.

As for cultural connotations, yes covering a head as a woman does have that. In my current culture of the USA NO I am given a choice to wear a head covering or not - that is a fact. Head coverings are a discipline that now falls under the “personal devotion” category unless one is attending a TLM or in a country where it is the norm.

Sorry Brenda, I shouldn’t have written that.

Apology accepted.

Back to the OP, you have been given some good sites for finding a good mantilla or other head covering. As a girl (you see I am 49 and wore something for much of my childhood) we had chapel veils - those are little round doily looking things that sat on the top of your head and fit nicely in a purse for that “spur of the moment visit with Jesus while running errands”. Of course I didn’t carry a purse so never had one on me so when we would go over to the Church for any reason Sister always had a box of tissues for us girls who didn’t have one on us to put on our heads.

Brenda V.

 

[jabelltulsa]

(Jabelltulsa: I used to visit Tulsa every few years to audit an airline which keeps its records there. I liked the shopping plazas where you could get something good to eat, I usually stayed there a week at a time.)

Come back and see us!

 

[Aramis]

My 7-yo daughter asked for a mantilla for 1st holy communion.

Most of the girls had veils of one stripe or another; she’s the only one of her class wearing it regularly.

In the parish, however, which is strictly NO, more than a dozen women wear headcoverings; 5 or 6 wear mantillas.

MANY people comment positively, including the wife of one of the deacons (The other deacon’s wife is my mom… she’s held her tongue on the matter). Some for her bravery, others because she makes it look good, others still on how it’s nice to see the youth listening to St. Paul

I don’t require her to wear it. I make certain she can, and when she chooses to, I set rules on how much fidgeting with it she may do.

Going to confession last week, she decided she needed her veil for confession. SHE decided. With quiet, but grudging support, off I went to fetch her mantilla from the car. When we went camping, she asked me to make certain her mantilla was in the car.

It’s become part of her church identity to cover her head. My wife doesn’t understand it, but lets me make the rules on that part of life for the children. I let my daughter, despite her youth, make that decision.

 

[megangamble]

K…so I have been thinking about this whole veil thing. The only thing that keeps popping in my head on the “con” side of my pros and cons list is my extended family. Many of you probably don’t have this problem but I am going to share because it is the only thing that keeps making me a lil nervous about the whole situation/decision. Obviously this is a stereotype but…being Catholic…my family is LARGE and CLOSE! This is totally lame, but I’m afraid my aunt who has been known to “poke fun or…gossip about EVERYONE in the family” is going to talk bad about me to my cousins and other relatives. An example of something I would not be surprised for her to say to them would be: “Oh now that she goes to a Catholic university and gotten ‘so close to God’ she thinks she’s holier than thou!” I dunno…is it bad that I’m reading so deeply into this?..I have an anxiety and depression disorder along with obsessive compulsive disorder so these obsessive thoughts and constant worry are quite typical for me so it’s not that I’m really doubting the whole “should I cover my head or not” situation, but I don’t know what I would say in reply to her or to anyone if they had something negative to say to me or about me. I mean as far as I’m concerned it’s between me and God…but my aunt is…well my aunt lol. Any like suggestions about how to get over this…I’m thinking about talking to her about it, but she might think I am trying to make a big deal of it and that I’m trying to MAKE SURE she notices…u guys probably think my family is horrible now but…we are who we are i suppose lol.

 

[daughterofmary]

“Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you and utter every kind of evil against you (falsely) because of me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven. Thus they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” (Matt. 5:10-12)

If you feel called to cover your head then it is something you should do no matter what your aunt says or what anybody else may think whether they be the priest or they be your average joe or josephina sitting behind you. This is between you and God. If he is calling you to do this then you should because it is what he wants from you.

Now, if people persecute you because of this, think bad of you, sterotype you, talk about you, and the works then this is something you should offer up happily and go on your way not thinking another thing about them but to pray for them. You can’t help what God wants from you. If he is calling you to do this then, being that you love him and want to do what he asks of you, you only have the choice to reply with a “yes”

I think your just a little worried about doing this when no one else is. Your a little nervous, and I think that is fine. Offer it up, put the veil on, pray for courage, forget about the veil, focus on Mass, and live your life. Everything will be fine. Honestly, I do not think your aunt is going to say much. I don’t think anybody really is going to say anything. And even if they do… what does it matter? This does not have anything to do with them. It is between you and God. They should be focusing on the Mass anyway… not you. I said a prayer for you!

God bless you

In Jesus and Mary,
Marie

 

[ASimpleSinner]

Hi!!! I’m a 20 y/o college student. I go to a private Catholic University and it’s brought me MUCH closer to Christ. I was wandering around some forums and I’m just kind of curious what people think about women wearing veils to Mass. NO ONE at my church wears veils…especially not the young women my age. I also read that I should wear one every time I pray?! I think it’s very respectful if I did wear one to Mass…and I’m trying to decide if I am going to, I’m going to feel a little strange at first, but I think it’s kind of…beautiful? That probably sounds weird but I think there is something to say for a young woman who has that deep respect for her Creator. Anyways, just kinda curious as to who thinks I should and who thinks I shouldn’t and also if I should wear one EVERY time I pray?
Thanks a bunch!

You don’t have to, but by all means do so if you want.

When I was a kid my grandmother used to wear a VERY simple and small hat to church. Back then, I thought she did so because the church tended to be cold.

So perhaps if you begin to feel convinced that this is a worthy gesture that you should embrace, but it is bothersome or causes scandal to others around you… well perhaps a nice hat might be the middle ground.

Im my youth, before falling away from the faith for several years, I briefly experienced a sort of outward piety and demand for a symbolic orthodoxy that put me in a position where I was not wrong, but I certainly was not right.

By all means, seek piety, but do your best not to be entangled in scandal or cause problems for others in this matter.

 

[KathleenElsie]

K…so I have been thinking about this whole veil thing. The only thing that keeps popping in my head on the “con” side of my pros and cons list is my extended family. Many of you probably don’t have this problem but I am going to share because it is the only thing that keeps making me a lil nervous about the whole situation/decision. Obviously this is a stereotype but…being Catholic…my family is LARGE and CLOSE! This is totally lame, but I’m afraid my aunt who has been known to “poke fun or…gossip about EVERYONE in the family” is going to talk bad about me to my cousins and other relatives. An example of something I would not be surprised for her to say to them would be: “Oh now that she goes to a Catholic university and gotten ‘so close to God’ she thinks she’s holier than thou!” I dunno…is it bad that I’m reading so deeply into this?..I have an anxiety and depression disorder along with obsessive compulsive disorder so these obsessive thoughts and constant worry are quite typical for me so it’s not that I’m really doubting the whole “should I cover my head or not” situation, but I don’t know what I would say in reply to her or to anyone if they had something negative to say to me or about me. I mean as far as I’m concerned it’s between me and God…but my aunt is…well my aunt lol. Any like suggestions about how to get over this…I’m thinking about talking to her about it, but she might think I am trying to make a big deal of it and that I’m trying to MAKE SURE she notices…u guys probably think my family is horrible now but…we are who we are i suppose lol.

LOL just tell your aunt that you are going through a “I’m independant now and this is how I want to show it”. or “I don’t want to be like everyone else” “Hay when we go away to collage we all get a little crazy” might work also.

Of course the OLD wearing of army boots and dyed hair with holes in your jeans might make her tell you to get a veil.:dancing:

And no. It is just your family. Like all families it is strange and wonderful at the same time.

 

[Philothea53]

By all means, seek piety, but do your best not to be entangled in scandal or cause problems for others in this matter.

What does this mean? Wearing a veil = entangled in scandal = causing problems for others?

Why do those who do not want to veil get in such an uproar about those who think it is the right thing to do? My goodness!

You know, I have read a lot about this issue and I have seen a lot of opinions - there is a plethora of opinions about this subject - and I am continually amazed at how positively nasty some people are in their responses as to why they are personally oppposed along with the “you feel free to do it if that’s what you want to do just don’t put a veil on my head!”

Not one person in this forum knows for sure why the wearing of a veil by women was left out of the new canon. Unless and until the issue is openly addressed by either the CDF or straight from our Holy Father’s mouth, not one of us (canon lawyers included) can say anything for certain.

I have not read of even one person mandating women wear veils or be kept out of the Church. What I have read is people, both male and female, confused at the contradiction of biblical mandate along with almost 2000 years of custom and suddenly poof it’s gone.

Again I ask, why do those who do not want to veil get in such an uproar about those who think it is the right thing to do? My goodness!

 

[catholicrocks]

K…so I have been thinking about this whole veil thing. The only thing that keeps popping in my head on the “con” side of my pros and cons list is my extended family. Many of you probably don’t have this problem but I am going to share because it is the only thing that keeps making me a lil nervous about the whole situation/decision. Obviously this is a stereotype but…being Catholic…my family is LARGE and CLOSE! This is totally lame, but I’m afraid my aunt who has been known to “poke fun or…gossip about EVERYONE in the family” is going to talk bad about me to my cousins and other relatives. An example of something I would not be surprised for her to say to them would be: “Oh now that she goes to a Catholic university and gotten ‘so close to God’ she thinks she’s holier than thou!” I dunno…is it bad that I’m reading so deeply into this?..I have an anxiety and depression disorder along with obsessive compulsive disorder so these obsessive thoughts and constant worry are quite typical for me so it’s not that I’m really doubting the whole “should I cover my head or not” situation, but I don’t know what I would say in reply to her or to anyone if they had something negative to say to me or about me. I mean as far as I’m concerned it’s between me and God…but my aunt is…well my aunt lol. Any like suggestions about how to get over this…I’m thinking about talking to her about it, but she might think I am trying to make a big deal of it and that I’m trying to MAKE SURE she notices…u guys probably think my family is horrible now but…we are who we are i suppose lol.

I couldn’t help but giggle to myself when I read this b/c it reminded me somewhat of my own family. Everybody talks about everybody, but of course would never say any of it to your face. It also doesn’t mean that they love each other any less either. I have no idea why it’s like that, except for the fact that we are all crazy! :whacky: Every family has their own particular brand of crazy. Based upon what you said about this aunt, it sounds like she’ll probably find something else to say about you and anyone else, so whether or not you wear the veil doesn’t matter.

Anyway, to answer your original questions, I want to encourage you to do what God is asking of you. I started wearing the veil a couple of years ago. God “bugged” me about it for a few years prior to that, but I was like, “You have GOT to be kidding!” It took a lot of time for me to work up the guts to do it, but I finally did FOR HIM. It also took some time to not be self-conscious about it. I was afraid of someone approaching me about it either in a positive or negative manner. You just have to make sure that you are prepared to answer questions - BTW, pretty much no one has ever said anything to me about it, and I have visited numerous churches where I was the only woman wearing one. Be ready to explain it to someone, just in case they ask you about it, though. That will help you too.

You’ll eventually get to the point where you don’t even think about it. A lot of people say that you shouldn’t wear one based upon the fact that others will view you as holier than thou, and you may cause scandal or whatever. I am sorry, I don’t judge them for not wearing one - I don’t know their soul; I simply ask that they show the same courtesy and not decide that I am a judgmental holier than though show-off just because I am doing what God has asked of me. But really, I don’t care what others think because again, I’m doing it for HIM. And seriously, after you get used to wearing a veil, hat, or whatever headcovering you choose, you won’t even think about it.

Sorry this is so long!

 

[KathleenElsie]

What does this mean? Wearing a veil = entangled in scandal = causing problems for others?

Why do those who do not want to veil get in such an uproar about those who think it is the right thing to do? My goodness!

You know, I have read a lot about this issue and I have seen a lot of opinions - there is a plethora of opinions about this subject - and I am continually amazed at how positively nasty some people are in their responses as to why they are personally oppposed along with the “you feel free to do it if that’s what you want to do just don’t put a veil on my head!”

Not one person in this forum knows for sure why the wearing of a veil by women was left out of the new canon. Unless and until the issue is openly addressed by either the CDF or straight from our Holy Father’s mouth, not one of us (canon lawyers included) can say anything for certain.

I have not read of even one person mandating women wear veils or be kept out of the Church. What I have read is people, both male and female, confused at the contradiction of biblical mandate along with almost 2000 years of custom and suddenly poof it’s gone.

Again I ask, why do those who do not want to veil get in such an uproar about those who think it is the right thing to do? My goodness!

I sonetimes wonder if those that protest the hardest are being called to veil and just keep yelling NO NO NO. I veil and have never told others that they should also. Infact I make it a point when asked to tell them it was/is a personal decision.

 

[Ad_Deum]

If your heart desires it you may wear a veil, for no one can stop you especially if you’re doing it for the glory of God our Creator.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Orthodox Jewish and Eastern Rite Orthodox Christians wear scarfs or veils why not Roman Catholics.
Our Blessed Mother Mary wears veil, so it’s okay to wear one.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Pax
Laudater Jesus Christo
Instaurare omnia in Christo

“Benedicat tibi Dominus et custodiat te.
Ostendat Dominus faciem suam tibi et misereatur tui.
Convertat Dominus vultum suum ad te et det tibi pacem.”
(Num 6:24-26)