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zhangxupage
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Should kids date? It’s common to see teens date nowadays. But should they be dating? The purpose of dating is to get married but the kids are immature.
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aggiecatholic05
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it wasnt that long ago that most people got married before they were 21. so the maturity slant is only viable if the children in question werent raised well.
the purpose of dating is really 2 fold in my mind.
the purpose of dating is really 2 fold in my mind.
- you have dates that are little more than 2 friends enjoying each other. in college my best friend and i were engaged at the same time. for the summer he and my fiance left town. his fiance and i were good friends, and we spent almost every weekend and a few weeknights together, movies, dinner, dancing,etc… that seems an awful lot like dating. granted both our significant others knew and had no objections. nothing inapproiate happened, but to outside observers and some friends we ran into it sure looked like dating.
-in this case i see no problem with trustworthy kids ‘dating’ - dating is however more for the purpose of discerning marriage. while it is unlikely that a younger kid will actually be dating their future spouse, thats not all ther is to discern. with a little forethought they can be discerning is marriage, singlelife, or holy orders is their vocation.
-so once again a trustworthy kid with some brains shouldnt be a problem
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Wirraway
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definitely not. marriages should be arranged with suitable concern for proper breeding. besides, dating, like almost everything else, is a sin.
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zhangxupage
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you and your friend’s fiance are just closed friends but not involved in a love relationship. I mean getting involved in a love relationship by the term “dating”.
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Catholic90
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Catholic90
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I think part of the purpose of dating is to get to know what type of person you like to be with. It is also to learn to communicate, learn what type of person you like, what type of person you don’t like, etc.
Some teens are immature. However, other teens are incrediblly mature and wise.
My son is nearly 17. He dates in groups mostly. He also has gone on dates with just the 2 of them. He does not have a “steady”. In fact, the girls he dates (about 6 of them) are all friends!
There is nothing ‘hot and heavy’ going on, and he is learning to communicate clearly, be friends, have fun, and loves all their parents! 
(and their parents love him in return!) Sometimes the girls’ parents will call him and invite him over…
It can be done well!
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Wirraway
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I assume the OP was joking. I mean, wasn’t he (or she)?I do hope you are joking…
This has GOT to be joke…
then again, maybe Dr. Strangelove makes sense:
"Dr. Strangelove: … 'It could easily be accomplished with a computer. And a computer could be set and programmed to accept factors from youth, health, sexual fertility, intelligence, and a cross-section of necessary skills. Of course, it would be absolutely vital that our top government and military men be included to foster and impart the required principles of leadership and tradition.
…
Naturally, they would breed prodigiously, eh? There would be much time, and little to do. Ha, ha. But ah, with the proper breeding techniques and a ratio of say, ten females to each male, I would guess that they could then work their way back to the present Gross National Product within say, twenty years.’"
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buffalo
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zhangxupage
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Your son is involved in friendship but not courtship. The dating I mean is “courtship”.I think part of the purpose of dating is to get to know what type of person you like to be with. It is also to learn to communicate, learn what type of person you like, what type of person you don’t like, etc.
Some teens are immature. However, other teens are incrediblly mature and wise.
My son is nearly 17. He dates in groups mostly. He also has gone on dates with just the 2 of them. He does not have a “steady”. In fact, the girls he dates (about 6 of them) are all friends!
It can be done well!
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Catholic90
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Originally you said “dating”. Teens can date. I answered your original question.
There are many kinds of dating. I think some teens can date well. I think some teens can date poorly.
I think some 20 somethings can date well. I think some 20 somethings can date poorly.
Very rarely will the teens marry the person they date in high school; however, many valuable lessons can be learned from high school dating.
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stringbeanduck
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There’s nothing wrong with teens dating. I’ve been on few dates. Dating just to date is wrong, but there is nothing wrong with teen’s dating to discern if they should be together for life.
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Catholic90
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Hmmm, I would have to disagree as a mom to a dating boy. He dates to date. He dates to find out what he likes in a girl. He dates because he enjoys their company. He dates to hone his communication skills with them. He (and I) doubts he will marry any of these girls. In the meantime, they are having a fun time together.
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stringbeanduck
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I"m sorry, I can’t agree with that.
Having a bunch of friends who are girls is fine but dating just to do it leads to lot of problems. If you don’t know it yet, you may very well find out soon.
But hold on for a moment are we really disagreeing here?..
I agree with zhangxupage- It’s sounds like your son is just hanging out as friends which is fine.
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Wirraway
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because???
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stringbeanduck
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…it could lead to a lot of problems- like sex. I’ve seen it happen and know it’s true. We date to discern who is right for in Holy Matrimony. Why continue something that you know will inevitable end?Doing so could give the other person the wrong idea. What if they like you and you know in your heart they are not right for you? I could never date a good girl and just knowing that I will dump her for some1 else.
I don’t like to waste a girl’s time and nor do wish vice versa.
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Feste_1242
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I see far too many 13 year old couples in public; it’s disgusting. To me it shows a lack of parenting, a lack of guidance. I think most kids just aren’t taught how to handle their newfound sexuality, so they misuse it. Can’t blame them, really. As you said, there’s really no point in dating to kids that young. As was also said, it can lead to premature sex. This, I think, is the worst part of it. Our society has become so desensitized that no one is bothered by the preteens snogging in the middle of a skating rink. (Do people go to those anymore?) It’s just inappropriate.
Well, that’s true, but keep in mind that their life spans were considerably shorter. Therefore, they reached the peak of maturity at a much earlier age than we do now. Nowadays, no matter how well you raise your kids, they won’t be ready to have babies at age 15.
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alejandrea
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It depends on the teen… when theyr’e that young they shouldn’t be thinking about getting married because they still have alot to experience.
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stringbeanduck
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Funny you mention that. That’s where my parents first met at 15/16 yrs old. You will still find teens there today, but they aren’t as popular any more.
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alejandrea
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I got a question for Wirraway,
why do you think it is ok for a guy to hook up with 10 girls ?because unless I understood wrong that is what your’e saying
why do you think it is ok for a guy to hook up with 10 girls ?because unless I understood wrong that is what your’e saying
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TLM08
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30 years ago when I first started dating, the goal was to get “as far” as you could with the girl with the ultimate goal for many, but not necessarily all guys was to have sex. Nothing has changed. Kids these days have this little thing that’s called “hooking up”. It’s a night or two of “using” each other then onward to the next conquest.
Your son or daughter would never do this? Don’t kid yourself! Teenage boys are driven exclusively by raging hormones that override almost every single sensible function of the brain. Most young girls are naive beyond comprehension and are “in the game” before they even realize what has happened to them. In the blink of an eye, their virginity is gone and they think they are “in love”.
These young people have no idea what they are doing to themselves both physically as well as spiritually. It’s all so heartbreaking. If I had my way, nobody under the age of 21 would “date”… Would I let my teenage daughter visit with boys? Of course! But under close parental supervision.
This used to be called “courtship” A return to “courtship” is needed. Older catechism actually have sections on this.
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