Should kids have their own smartphones?

[bitterhope]

We have one phone that the kids all share. It’s not a smart phone. It has no internet on it. When the kids want their own phone they are allowed to buy a prepaid phone and the phone cards each month themselves. So far only two have opted to do this (boys ages 17 and 18). Those two (one is away at school now) no longer have the option of sharing the “home phone” unless they are either at home or they no longer can afford/choose to stop buying phone cards for their own phone. It hasn’t happened. They enjoy having their phone, but they never have carried it around the way most of their friends do. It’s a running joke with their friends and girlfriends to never call or text my kids because they never know where their phone is. I’m often asked to call one of them so they can find their phone. The one at school has learned to keep track of his but it’s become a necessity in his life as a young adult. The twins are probably going to ask to buy phones soon. Both have steady income now, but they keep putting it off. Probably because they enjoy nearly unlimited access to the “home phone,” have the same circle of friends, and know they have a good deal not paying the bill. The next in line is still a little young for a boy to be interested in having a phone, but the next one down is a girl and she’s a little more interested in phone time. Very few of the kids around here get a phone at all before age 13-15 and usually smart phones are 17+ so the social pressure isn’t as strong as many other areas. Most of my kids have friends that borrow a parent’s phone to call or text, or they have the “home phone” like we do. I don’t know very many families that have a land line anymore. It’s usually cell phones only like ours because it tends to be cheaper here. We have three cellphones for less per month than one land line costs here and don’t need to worry about long distance charges (all our family lives out of the area), and the two oldest get off cheaper with prepaid plans. My husband enjoys being able to send texts to the kids or call them when he’s gone. They probably get more messages and calls from him than they do anybody else. It’s a nice way for him to connect in a personal level with them and keep communication going from afar without me needing to be in the middle all the time.

 

[Beryllos]

I totally disagree with the notion that smartphones breed social misfits. Granted, I’d totally agree with you in theory, except based on my kids and their friends, it’s an unfounded fear.

Your mileage may vary. The smartphone is a major negative influence on one of my children and others that I know of by the content I see on my child’s smartphone. Other kids seem to be able to handle the smartphone better. Nevertheless my prayers go out for all our children.

 

[Rosebud77]

Your mileage may vary. The smartphone is a major negative influence on one of my children and others that I know of by the content I see on my child’s smartphone. Other kids seem to be able to handle the smartphone better. Nevertheless my prayers go out for all our children.

Amen to this.

The list of what is seen as “essential” seems to grow weekly.
I see folk walking down the street on their phones, chatting, oblivious to the world around them.

I keep trying to get used to cell phone for emergencies but never got the hang of it and almost never use even my IP phone and do not allow incoming calls unless prearranged and approved… the phone shares the modem with my computer so that is easy enough… Far too much incoming data for me.

 

[mommy_k]

Our kids typically get thier phones in 7th grade. I don’t think there is correct age to give a child a smart phone, as many variables come into the decision.

First a child has to show responsibility, not only from losing phone, but for data access as well.A parent has to have the time to monitor the phone too.

A child also needs to have found thier voice --ie the social aspect of knowing how to handle themselves in social situations without the texting etc. They need to feel comfortable with regular phone conversations as well, because it is rare for kids to actually use phone voice communication with each other once the texting starts. Perhaps in the future conversational phone skills and etiquette may not be needed, but today they still are in business and life.

For reserved children, the texting aspect can be good, but it needs to be balanced with voice as well. I usually call rather then text my children who are more on the quiet side.There are alot of social cues that are missed with texting-inflection, feeling, softness of delivery and much more…and a child needs this understanding before the smart phone comes into thier life…

 

[saellis]

Kinda funny how so many luxuries have become “necessities”

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

Your mileage may vary. The smartphone is a major negative influence on one of my children and others that I know of by the content I see on my child’s smartphone. Other kids seem to be able to handle the smartphone better. Nevertheless my prayers go out for all our children.

I just had a conversation recently with teachers (family members) about this. The recommendation was against getting a phone based upon what they see/hear in their classrooms (middle school/high school). I am not talking about the issue of being absorbed etc, I am talking about inappropriate content and communications.

I let the kids play with apps on my phone under my supervision, and they have tablets and such they can use in our house (not in their rooms) under our supervision as well. If there is an app they need, they can use it at home. We are planning on getting a phone they can borrow if they are out for emergencies, but we have no plans of buying our kids smartphones. Heck, I’ve already seen things on my kid’s Instagram account of kids from their school (elementary/middle) that I wouldn’t want out there with one of my kids.

 

[Rosebud77]

Kinda funny how so many luxuries have become “necessities”

That is the total truth…

I stepped right back years ago and stopped it right there. Only what I really need. Happier for it too…

 

[Rosebud77]

I just had a conversation recently with teachers (family members) about this. The recommendation was against getting a phone based upon what they see/hear in their classrooms (middle school/high school). I am not talking about the issue of being absorbed etc, I am talking about inappropriate content and communications.

I let the kids play with apps on my phone under my supervision, and they have tablets and such they can use in our house (not in their rooms) under our supervision as well. If there is an app they need, they can use it at home. We are planning on getting a phone they can borrow if they are out for emergencies, but we have no plans of buying our kids smartphones. Heck, I’ve already seen things on my kid’s Instagram account of kids from their school (elementary/middle) that I wouldn’t want out there with one of my kids.

Reassuring post; thank you.

 

[Monte_RCMS]

Only if they pay their own bills with their own money.

 

[bitterhope]

Only if they pay their own bills with their own money.

Yes. They must pay their own bill with money they work for from somewhere other than “allowance” from mom and dad.

 

[Hatikvah]

Kinda funny how so many luxuries have become “necessities”

For the sake of school, unfortunately, it practically is. I am lucky enough to have a district-issued laptop (a Chromebook) for certain uses. Then again, it is high school: middle school might be able to do without one easier.

 

[saellis]

For the sake of school, unfortunately, it practically is. I am lucky enough to have a district-issued laptop (a Chromebook) for certain uses. Then again, it is high school: middle school might be able to do without one easier.

Sorry that your school has fallen into the technology trap. Most of them have. My great-grandfather could do more with pen and paper than most of us could do with all this tech. It’s really quite amazing all that these country-folk learned. We debate the necessity of “smart phones” and his generation was happy to have running water in the house even if you had to manually work the pump.

 

[Beryllos]

Sorry that your school has fallen into the technology trap. Most of them have. My great-grandfather could do more with pen and paper than most of us could do with all this tech. It’s really quite amazing all that these country-folk learned. We debate the necessity of “smart phones” and his generation was happy to have running water in the house even if you had to manually work the pump.

Yeah, don’t get me started on laptops for schoolwork. Another grand experiment. But that should be the subject of another thread…

 

[on_the_hill]

But we can’t ignore the reality of tech innovations and how itheyre driving the world, and we’re not helping our kids by shielding them from it.

Like I stated earlier–if it’s a matter of affordability, that’s what it is. If it’s a matter of fear or uncertainty, we need to examine the + and - very carefully. We have a friend who tries his darndest to live outside the mainstream, and while he’s perfectly satisfied to be a contrarian,his wife and kids pay the price in terms of having to rely on other people–many of whom (us) got tired of always being the ones to help with rides, (they owned one beat up minivan) , cell phones, etc.

Especially since they are entirely capable of affording whatever they want/need.

(Before you side with him too much, he’s an avowed atheist)

 

[hadulzo]

I thing its steve ray calls them little porn machines. I agree, unsupervised intenet access is a bad thing.

 

[EasterJoy]

I cannot get over the irony of using an internet forum to complain about the incursion of technology into our lives! It isn’t as if your children are seeing you confining yourselves to hard copies of the Bible, the Catechism of the Catholic Church and The Imitation of Christ!

Sorry that your school has fallen into the technology trap. Most of them have. My great-grandfather could do more with pen and paper than most of us could do with all this tech. It’s really quite amazing all that these country-folk learned. We debate the necessity of “smart phones” and his generation was happy to have running water in the house even if you had to manually work the pump.

I remember writing and re-writing papers back before cut-and-paste. You may as well say that Grandpa got around better when he had his horse that could cut across country than we have now with the interstate highway system and air travel accessible to the masses. Yes, there are downsides to the internal combustion engine. No, we could not run a modern metropolitan area with only the transportation possible by wind, water, and flesh-and-blood propulsion. (Transportation powered by the sun is a high-tech prospect, not a low-tech one.)

I also remember doing research for papers back when we had the local library and World Book Encyclopedia. My children, in contrast, can look up and read every encyclical written by John Paul II in its entirety, just as an example. The choice of the pictures they can include in school work can include both pictures they got off the internet and pictures they took electronically ten minutes ago. I had the stuff I could cut out of old issues of Time magazine and National Geographic. There is no comparison.

Yeah, don’t get me started on laptops for schoolwork. Another grand experiment. But that should be the subject of another thread…

Our boys go to a school that requires iPads. We pay less for books and there is less paper used for assignments (both for assigning and submitting). Teachers give feedback on ongoing homework in real time, so a student can literally turn in a draft on Saturday morning and get back to work on it by later in the same day. The students also use their computers for group study even though they live too far away from each other to study together in person. They’ve also submitted several physics projects done at home by video recording. It would have been impossible for the entire class to submit those at school. My children also get practice in preparing presentations that they make to their classes that include audio and visual aids.

The school sends notices out to parents in real time concerning weather changes, upcoming events, and so on. They also post the current state of all the grade books of all my children’s teachers (on a secure site accessible only to me and to each of my sons individually). Mistakes can be corrected in real time and problems can be seen as soon as they arise. It is easy to send an e-mail to a teacher and get a response in a way that is convenient for both the teachers and for us.

As for smart phones, this is how groups of people send messages now. It is also how you look up businesses. The Yellow Pages are obsolete. It is also a map, a source of news in real time, a camera, a video and audio recorder, and so on.

I thing its steve ray calls them little porn machines. I agree, unsupervised intenet access is a bad thing.

Yes, but we’d no more want to keep our children away from the internet entirely than to keep them from materials made possible by modern photography or the printing press.

Our pastor prays the Daily Office from his smart phone. Get used to technology, folks. It is the way things are going, like it or not.

**To the OP: **The technology my children have right now was the stuff on Star Trek when I was in college. I wouldn’t worry about the tech questions you’ll have to answer when you are a parent. You cannot imagine what those questions will be or what factors you’ll have to consider when the questions actually arise. The only certainty is that you will have decisions to make.

 

[Rico_S]

I cannot get over the irony of using an internet forum to complain about the incursion of technology into our lives! It isn’t as if your children are seeing you confining yourselves to hard copies of the Bible, the Catechism of the Catholic Church and The Imitation of Christ!

I remember writing and re-writing papers back before cut-and-paste. You may as well say that Grandpa got around better when he had his horse that could cut across country than we have now with the interstate highway system and air travel accessible to the masses. Yes, there are downsides to the internal combustion engine. No, we could not run a modern metropolitan area with only the transportation possible by wind, water, and flesh-and-blood propulsion. (Transportation powered by the sun is a high-tech prospect, not a low-tech one.)

I also remember doing research for papers back when we had the local library and World Book Encyclopedia. My children, in contrast, can look up and read every encyclical written by John Paul II in its entirety, just as an example. The choice of the pictures they can include in school work can include both pictures they got off the internet and pictures they took electronically ten minutes ago. I had the stuff I could cut out of old issues of Time magazine and National Geographic. There is no comparison.

Our boys go to a school that requires iPads. We pay less for books and there is less paper used for assignments (both for assigning and submitting). Teachers give feedback on ongoing homework in real time, so a student can literally turn in a draft on Saturday morning and get back to work on it by later in the same day. The students also use their computers for group study even though they live too far away from each other to study together in person. They’ve also submitted several physics projects done at home by video recording. It would have been impossible for the entire class to submit those at school. My children also get practice in preparing presentations that they make to their classes that include audio and visual aids.

The school sends notices out to parents in real time concerning weather changes, upcoming events, and so on. They also post the current state of all the grade books of all my children’s teachers (on a secure site accessible only to me and to each of my sons individually). Mistakes can be corrected in real time and problems can be seen as soon as they arise. It is easy to send an e-mail to a teacher and get a response in a way that is convenient for both the teachers and for us.

As for smart phones, this is how groups of people send messages now. It is also how you look up businesses. The Yellow Pages are obsolete. It is also a map, a source of news in real time, a camera, a video and audio recorder, and so on.

Yes, but we’d no more want to keep our children away from the internet entirely than to keep them from materials made possible by modern photography or the printing press.

Our pastor prays the Daily Office from his smart phone. Get used to technology, folks. It is the way things are going, like it or not.

**To the OP: **The technology my children have right now was the stuff on Star Trek when I was in college. I wouldn’t worry about the tech questions you’ll have to answer when you are a parent. You cannot imagine what those questions will be or what factors you’ll have to consider when the questions actually arise. The only certainty is that you will have decisions to make.

The voice of reason.

 

[EasterJoy]

The voice of reason.

I was listening to a radio program the other day on how people in remote villages in Third World countries are taking advantage of smart phones as a way to securely deposit, invest and transfer money, communicate with customers and vendors to avoid wasteful travel, and so on.

I do not doubt that the spread of technology is going to force us to contend with environmental issues and so on. It isn’t great and perfect in every way; far from it. There is hardly any question, however, that electronic media are going to displace fiber-based paper media in many communication and information storage functions in much the same way that paper replaced calfskin. It is cheaper, it is faster, it takes up less space, it saves labor, it weighs next to nothing, it makes reference information more widely available as well as easier and faster to use, it can travel almost instantly and to almost anywhere. It is here to stay, and personal smart-phone like devices are one of the ways it is particularly likely to spread to more and more of the population.

 

[jeannetherese]

I just had a conversation recently with teachers (family members) about this. The recommendation was against getting a phone based upon what they see/hear in their classrooms (middle school/high school). I am not talking about the issue of being absorbed etc, I am talking about inappropriate content and communications.

This.
I interviewed a group of 10/11 year-old Catholic children two years ago.
Two of 27 had not experience bullying via their phones. They were not talking to their parents about the bullying.
I do like the way Bitterhope and family are using aquisition of phones to encourage responsibility, and the way an early poster used it to be cognizant of children’s locations, but I would be in no hurry to provide a phone myself.
In particular, I dislike the jit quality of life tied to cell phones where people are perpetually on call, where choosing to privilege family time is perceived as disloyalty to work or to friendships, and where people become increasingly dependent upon their electronics. Just in time does not seem especially people friendly, and I’m looking for ways to slow things down and see how that might affect perspective (and attention span).

 

[WT1]

Only if they pay their own bills with their own money.

Depends on the kid. My oldest is straight A’s with a very high ACT score. With her AP classes and scholarship opportunities I have forbidden her to get a job as keeping the grades up IS her job and will save 10s of thousands when she cleps college classes and basically enters college almost as a sophomore.

Her smart phone is not just a social outlet it is a tool to keep a calendar, check grades, correspond with college admissions and keep her bank account balanced.

As parents we can’t be short sighted with hard and fast rules and look at opportunities as well as problematic issues.