S
saellis
Guest
Arguments for or against this technology aside, kids will be kids and smartphones aren’t cheap. My kids lose stuff all the time so it’s burner phones for them.
- Status
B
bitterhope
Guest
If she has a bank account to manage, why isn’t she learning to pay her own bills (such as the phone bill)? And if she isn’t working, where is the money in her account coming from?
I agree with you that school comes first, but I think too often parents buy into the trap that kids require things that aren’t truly necessary such as smart phones and other technology. No one needs a smart phone to check bank accounts or for school. There are many other ways to stay on top of all of those things. I dare say the majority of people still don’t have smart phones, at least not in this area or “back home” where I grew up either. The schools in this state, back home, and on post have a ban on phones and other devices. If the kids are seen with them they are confiscated. Kids here end up going to college too.
E
EnglishTeacher
Guest
I had no idea that some schools were using smart phones in class and all but requiring kids to own them - interesting. I don’t see how they can require that, though - there must be a good number of families who can’t afford to buy smart phones for everyone, or even just don’t want to purchase a phone for their child for whatever reason.
E
EasterJoy
Guest
This is entirely sensible.
It would not be unreasonable to go without any phone at all except a) there is no such thing as a pay phone any more and b) sports teams and other youth activities seem to run on group text messages.
People old enough to be out on their own need a way to call for a ride and to send and receive text messages. That is the minimum. If you can’t own it, you have to arrange in advance for a way to borrow it. Otherwise, it is close to impossible to find other people and to be found by others in a time frame that contemporary social conventions have come to take for granted.
Once you start driving, you really ought to have a cell phone. It is a safety thing. Those who can’t afford GPS or a smart phone also need to get local maps and know how to use them.
U
UbiCaritas
Guest
It may well be that that poster is having his daughter learn to manage money gradually–i.e., now that she’s in her late teens, she’s given X amount of money per month and expected to use it appropriately for the phone bill/clothes/school supplies/incidental expenses, rather than having college or the working world be the first time they’re expected to budget at all. We’re planning on doing something similar, albeit not the phone bill, as that will be on our plan so as to give us the authority to check useage and so on if necessary. I do agree that banking and such can be done on home computers vs phones, and in fact would suggest that it be done that way due to security issues.
U
UbiCaritas
Guest
Yep. Definitely a safety thing.
The way my in-laws handle the phone issue with their teens is the way we’ll be handling it with ours eventually. One house rule is that no one leaves the house without a phone. Another, though, is that mom and dad excepted, no one has their own personal phone until they’re in college: there’s a basket of cheap phones that are kept charging, and if someone leaves the house for a bike ride/to hang out with friends/whatever, they’re expected to grab one on the way out the door. If one gets dropped, it’s not a big deal–we’re talking very cheap “dumb” phones. Also, it builds in a certain safety net that younger kids and teens don’t have a dedicated, private line.
C
Convert_in_99
Guest
Yes a huge safety issue.
People used to never think twice about pulling over to help another driver in trouble. Today everyone drives past them saying “oh they must have a cell phone.” Also if you haven’t noticed the pay phones at gas stations and such are almost obsolete!
M
MarkInOregon
Guest
It may well be us who become the social misfits. On these forums I often have trouble deciphering some of first letter shorthand used by so many here–leaves me on the outside at times (a social misfit you could say). Our home phone seldom rings except for telemarketers, ditto for the cell phone–text seems to be a primary way for people to communicate. There was a time when people left cards and made house calls–had one of those lately? There was a time when people would just drop by–when was the last time someone just dropped by to see you? There was a time when people wrote letters–received one of those in the mail lately (the mail that comes to your door not to your inbox)? My kids seem pretty well adjusted and don’t seem to have a problem conversing and when they meet a new person they find it much easier to stay in touch. While I’m not a big technology guy–it has allowed me to catch up with a lot of people that I lost touch with after high school and college–which has been interesting. It is sad when you see two people out for dinner and they aren’t talking to each other because they are each on their smart phones, but I usually find that to be older people and not so much younger people. The young people I see are usually laughing and talking and taking selfies and pictures of the food to post online.
The peace of Christ,
Mark
M
MarkInOregon
Guest
E
EasterJoy
Guest
Privacy is for those who pay for it. I don’t read journals, but the cell phone is the property of whoever pays the cell bill. I like the idea of leaving adulthood and independence with a few perks, LOL. Otherwise, why get a job and spend your own money on what Mom and Dad will give you for free?
E
EasterJoy
Guest
I’d say that technologies develop first, and the etiquette comes along second. Miss Manners says that caller ID does what the servants who answer your front door used to do. Not everyone who knew your address was free to drop in whenever they wanted and not everyone with your phone number has you on an electronic leash. Calls coming in on cell phone seem very important at first, but then you learn which calls supersede the people you are actually with and how you handle that in a polite way. So yes, you learn that it might take an effort to put the phone down and enjoy the people you are with, but also to remember to take a few group pictures along the way.
E
EasterJoy
Guest
Lacking the willingness to do what is necessary to get into an unhealthy clique does not make one a social misfit, LOL.
People who truly lack the aptitude for social interaction, on the other hand, suffer a lot.
L
Lea101
Guest
Depends on the age for us. My brother had his own smartphone when he was 16 ish, my other brother got it at 14. I got mine when I was 13. I don’t know about schools in the US or anything, but a smartphone is essential for us because we do need Whatsapp so we can have a class group/group for projects or clubs. Halfway through my school year, I realised how much information I was missing out on and how troublesome it was to constantly ask my friends, so my parents got me a smartphone.
My little sister will probably get one when she is 13 as well. My parents used to confiscate our phones if we misbehaved or spent too much time on it. He stopped doing that until we were 16 ish.
A smartphone is plain convenient too. Calendar, weather apps, calculator, a good camera etc. I can also check my bank account for my allowance, stuff like that. My parents never really considered the possibility of us not using smartphones. The only thing they did is that they didn’t allow 4G data in our plan so we won’t use the internet outside of our home…until we were about 17-18 years old. And even then, it’s around 2GB-3GB.
As for privacy, we are allowed to lock our phones. I guess it depends on the kid for this. Privacy is an issue that’s better of being discussed with your children as opposed to other parents IMO. Each child will have a different opinion and it really is beneficial for the family if both opinions are respected. One of my close friends have her cell checked by her parents daily and while she acted like she was fine with it, she really resented her parents for it and she was basically weird in the sense that she always want to do crazy stuff…especially when she turned 18.
Basically each child will want different boundaries. And privacy depends on the child’s behavior too. For a lot of teenagers, a smartphone is basically a diary (private messages about their problems to their friends, their social media accounts, stuff they searched on google but too afraid to ask anyone etc), and if it’s violated, it can create a wound that time won’t heal.
Parents are better off discussing things like getting a smartphone with a child. Some kids should get it earlier…some later.
My little sister will probably get one when she is 13 as well. My parents used to confiscate our phones if we misbehaved or spent too much time on it. He stopped doing that until we were 16 ish.
A smartphone is plain convenient too. Calendar, weather apps, calculator, a good camera etc. I can also check my bank account for my allowance, stuff like that. My parents never really considered the possibility of us not using smartphones. The only thing they did is that they didn’t allow 4G data in our plan so we won’t use the internet outside of our home…until we were about 17-18 years old. And even then, it’s around 2GB-3GB.
As for privacy, we are allowed to lock our phones. I guess it depends on the kid for this. Privacy is an issue that’s better of being discussed with your children as opposed to other parents IMO. Each child will have a different opinion and it really is beneficial for the family if both opinions are respected. One of my close friends have her cell checked by her parents daily and while she acted like she was fine with it, she really resented her parents for it and she was basically weird in the sense that she always want to do crazy stuff…especially when she turned 18.
Basically each child will want different boundaries. And privacy depends on the child’s behavior too. For a lot of teenagers, a smartphone is basically a diary (private messages about their problems to their friends, their social media accounts, stuff they searched on google but too afraid to ask anyone etc), and if it’s violated, it can create a wound that time won’t heal.
Parents are better off discussing things like getting a smartphone with a child. Some kids should get it earlier…some later.
B
bitterhope
Guest
I agree.
One huge advantage to sending/receiving text messages though is hearing impaired people (like myself) no longer need to struggle with phone communications. But I don’t get the abbreviations and such. My kids don’t seem to either, or they at least don’t use them when texting me and their dad.
We have no technology at meals and my kids aren’t attached to their phones or video games or really any tech stuff so I’ve relaxed slightly about them. I do make sure they buy and pay for their own stuff though. That way they are more likely to appreciate it and care for it.
A
Allegra
Guest
All kids, to some extent, lack the skills for appropriate social interaction. That’s why they don’t need a free unlimited pass to the world wide web. Giving them unfettered access to the equipment when they don’t have the skills is a horrible idea.Lacking the willingness to do what is necessary to get into an unhealthy clique does not make one a social misfit, LOL.
People who truly lack the aptitude for social interaction, on the other hand, suffer a lot.
- Status