Should my wife see a male OBGYN?

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I have been married for four years and my wife is about 10 weeks pregnant. She and I are looking at some local OBGYNs to handle her pregnancy, as well as act as her gynecologist between pregnancies (we just moved to the area.) Today she came to me with a list of OBGYNs whose names she got from friends, and there are four males and only one female.

I feel very uncomfortable with a man dealing with that area of my wife. I do not think it is appropriate AT ALL. Why would a man want to do that for a living anyway? Deal with female breasts and crotches all day long? Oh wait, I know… I’m a man and I know how men are.

She has assured me that these doctors are professionals who are numbed to female anatomy. But they are still humans and still men. I’ve tried to tell her that she totally does not understand the male psyche and sex drive but she just says I’m being irrational, that lots of women use men for this extremely private purpose.

I told her that these days there is zero need for men to deal with that area of a woman’s body and for her to choose a male is a huge slap in the face to me, and a disgrace to her modesty. If she wants to splay her legs for another man we have problems. I don’t see why she does not feel the same as I do. She just says she does not think it is a big deal but the only man that should have his hands inside her vagina is me, am I right guys?

I am pretty adamant about this and she has agreed to meet with the female doctor. But she says if they don’t click she will not be staying with that practice. Should I put my foot down? Should I absolutely insist that she not allow a man to violate her in that way? I realize that for years women had no options in this area but now they do and I don’t see why any woman would let a man all over her privates if it wasn’t necessary.

I feel that as the head of our household and the father of our unborn child I should have the final say on this. Am I being unreasonable?
 
I smell a troll.
Well, it is certainly a provocative first post, yes.

The answer to the poster is that male doctors have been delivering babies since Hippocrates hung out his shingle, and even the Victorians didn’t get as worked up about this as he is. It is a non-issue.
 
Did anyone ever see the SNL skit “Mel Gibson: Dream Gynecologist”, where there was like a 3 hour wait to see him?

I have always preferred male gynecologists. They have always just been better at what they do in my experience. Maybe it’s because they have more compassion and sensitivity because they are sort of in awe about what we go through 🙂

Seriously, this is not something to worry about.
 
Good grief. If this post is for real, the OP is really being irrational.
 
Bogus post if I ever saw one.

Come on, really?

:rolleyes:

Please let’s not let this thread go on for pages, OK???
 
I have been married for four years and my wife is about 10 weeks pregnant. She and I are looking at some local OBGYNs to handle her pregnancy, as well as act as her gynecologist between pregnancies (we just moved to the area.) Today she came to me with a list of OBGYNs whose names she got from friends, and there are four males and only one female.

I feel very uncomfortable with a man dealing with that area of my wife. I do not think it is appropriate AT ALL. Why would a man want to do that for a living anyway? Deal with female breasts and crotches all day long? Oh wait, I know… I’m a man and I know how men are.

She has assured me that these doctors are professionals who are numbed to female anatomy. But they are still humans and still men. I’ve tried to tell her that she totally does not understand the male psyche and sex drive but she just says I’m being irrational, that lots of women use men for this extremely private purpose.

I told her that these days there is zero need for men to deal with that area of a woman’s body and for her to choose a male is a huge slap in the face to me, and a disgrace to her modesty. If she wants to splay her legs for another man we have problems. I don’t see why she does not feel the same as I do. She just says she does not think it is a big deal but the only man that should have his hands inside her vagina is me, am I right guys?

I am pretty adamant about this and she has agreed to meet with the female doctor. But she says if they don’t click she will not be staying with that practice. Should I put my foot down? Should I absolutely insist that she not allow a man to violate her in that way? I realize that for years women had no options in this area but now they do and I don’t see why any woman would let a man all over her privates if it wasn’t necessary.

I feel that as the head of our household and the father of our unborn child I should have the final say on this. Am I being unreasonable?
You appear to be unreasonable. Even Ultra-Orthodox Jewish women are permitted to see male OBGYN physicians, especially when they are highly qualified and female physicians may not be available, but even if these conditions are not met. This is a professional, physician-patient relationship, not a personal one.
 
Am I being unreasonable?
From one dude to another: lighten up!

There aren’t any perfect doctors and sometimes a man could be even more professional than a woman in this particular field. If the doctors on the list are highly recommended by their patients, it is a good indication that they treat them respectfully.

You also cannot reasonably know why these doctors chose their particular field. It may well have been for perfectly innocent reasons.
 
Should I absolutely insist that she not allow a man to violate her in that way?
Am I being unreasonable?
Violate her? bahahahah. wow. I don’t think you know what that word means. You are allowed to have a nurse in the room with you, so if the doctor, male for female, violates your wife, it will be reported.

I don’t know any women enjoys going to the OB/GYN. It is kinda awkward for me no matter who the doctor is.

I think you are being extremely unreasonable. Be glad you aren’t married to me, I would go to the male OB/GYN just for spite.
 
Playing devil’s advocate here, I have a friend whose attitude about his wife’s OBGYN was nearly as bad as the OP’s. He was extremely jealous and would be beside himself anytime she went to see her doctor and often insisted on going with her just to make sure she wasn’t back there longer than he thought necessary. Thankfully, he lightened up after their first pregnancy.

That said, at the practice where my wife goes, she’s been seeing her regular doctor for years and I would much, much, much, much, much rather her see him than any of the other doctors there. There’s nothing inappropriate about it and I have entrusted my wife’s care and even her life to him on more than one occasion.
 
Clearly, the OP has never visited an OBGYN. I don’t know about other women, but there isn’t much that puts me on ice faster than a pap smear. Besides, I highly doubt the doc is going to try anything untoward with the nurse standing there the whole time. I too have a hard time believing this post is serious.
 
Wasn’t there another thread very much like this one about 6 mos. ago? Or even more than one?

:rolleyes:😛
 
Please, give your poor wife a break. I guarantee no gynecologist is going to be putting the movies on your wife, and there is nothing sexual going on in that room. If you are so worried, go and sit in there with her. Maybe after you actually watch your baby be born ( yes, you should) you will relax a bit about the gynecologist. Apparently, you have trouble controlling your sexual urges, but don’t be transferring that onto the doctor. My gyne looks me in the eye and talks to me about regular things while he is examining me.

This is almost as bad as the guy I know who refused to let his wife breastfeed because her body was only to be shared with him. GAD!
 
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