Priests should be what they sign up for, just like marriage, no use whining about it after the event.
Therefore like marriage they should not enter into it too lightly, which is I’m afraid what many people do, with blinkers on.
Bad preparation is to blame & a reality check to see if it’s for them or not, not forgetting some with a hidden agenda, (homosexuals) to get involved with children, mainly young men…
It’s not that easy. I’m sure you have been in love once.
You prepare the way you are supposed to, you do everything right, all the signs are there, you go through with it and life is good. Then one day the phone rings and its a woman from your past, wants to know if you remember her, and you are reeling. Suddenly your past floods over you, your heart is ripped apart, your life is turned upside down and you are rethinking everything you ever knew or thought. I’m sure you have had someone in your life whom you couldn’t stop thinking about, day or night, even in your dreams, and you would have given your right arm to build a life with that person. Have you?
It’s not as easy as “Be what they signed up for” or “reality check”. These men are human beings, subject to all the desires, troubles, temptations and the full range of human emotions and feelings which we are. They are human beings.
It isn’t just about sex. Lack of sex is the easy part. It’s about lonliness, and seeing couples sharing their lives together, helping each other and laughing together, and then going home to an empty house with no one to help, no one to talk to.
Comments like “Oh, they are married to the Church” make it sound like they can just dial up the Vatican and have someone to talk to when they feel lonely, or that the Archbishop will send someone down to make them chicken soup when they are sick. Consecrated religious at least have community, but for the secular priest in a small parish by himself it can be incredibly lonely. They don’t stop being human beings when they get ordained.
Please don’t trivialize the celibate life. A life of purity is not easy. I don’t point a finger of blame at any man for leaving the priesthood for married life. Celibacy can be a source of great graces and much peace, but at times it can be incredibly lonely.
-Tim-