Should the Church offer ministries for the single?

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valient_Lucy said:
There are probably other 45 year old women who would love to marry. The 45 year old guy can go hit on them! Sorry, but ask any woman how she feels when a guy who is old enough to be her father starts hitting on her. I have one guy who comes up to me at work (I’m a bank teller) and he’s always hitting on me. His daughter is only 4 years younger than I am! (Catholic Ansewers Forum doesn’t have a vomit smiley.) I a few years ago, when I was 22, I was talking to a guy who was around 40. I was telling him about the careers I was looking at, and one of them was an Occupational Therapist. He said, “Great! You can give me a sponge bath. And I’m a lot older than you, so that’s not sexual.”

If a 45 year old guy wants to marry, he should look for a woman his own age.
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Oh by the way, I forgot to mention two words:

Saint Joseph.
 
I lost my wife to cancer recently, but if I’m ever interested in dating again (which I doubt), the woman must have the following attributes–Catholic, of course, aged 55-60, but looks like she’s 40-45, likes to eat out, likes to travel more than being romantic, likes to play the slots once in a while and loves the cold midwestern winters and likes to drink a little wine. OK ladies, get lined up. By the way, I’m 70, I don’t smoke, can’t dance and I talk too much. Any takers?
 
Norseman82 said:
The problem is they may be too old to bear children.
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So?

My aunt was older when she got married. She and my uncle had fertility problems due to her age, so they could only have one child. So, they adopted my wonderful cousin. If my uncle had that attitude, my aunt would never have married, and my **favorite cousin **would never have been part of my family. 😦
 
Norseman82 said:
Oh by the way, I forgot to mention two words:

Saint Joseph.
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St. Joseph was the antithesis of most 45 year old guys looking to marry a much younger woman. He knew that by marrying our Blessed Mother, she would never give birth to his children. He wouldn’t even be able to sleep with her. He couldn’t even use her as a trophy wife to boost his own social standing or earn the envy of his neighbors, because she was pregnant before they got married, and everyone would view him as a cuckhold.

Though that does give me an idea! The next time a 45 year old guy asks me out, I’ll tell him that I’ve made a vow of virginity, and if we marry, we can never have sex. We’ll see how many of them stick around.

But, if we continue in this vein, we will completely derail the thread. Therefore, I’m not going to answer any more comments in this vein, not because I can’t but out of respect for the OP.
 
Rascalking and Jay82~I agree with both of you!! (can’t figure out the multi-quote thingee so I’ll just say it here) 👍

CountrySinger~girl, you crack me up!! 😃 I can think of some of the cheesy lines I’ve been given. :rolleyes:

valient Lucy~Some people in their 40s look A LOT younger Heck, I’m 30 and I’m STILL being mistaken for a teenager! 👍 but I have to admit that I would like to marry someone closer to my age. With that being said, and seeing how the All Mighty has had a sense of humor with me since my birth, chances are I’m going to end up with the last person anyone expected LOL! 😛
 
Kimothy80 said:
valient Lucy~Some people in their 40s look A LOT younger Heck, I’m 30 and I’m STILL being mistaken for a teenager! 👍 but I have to admit that I would like to marry someone closer to my age. With that being said, and seeing how the All Mighty has had a sense of humor with me since my birth, chances are I’m going to end up with the last person anyone expected LOL! 😛
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Yeah, God does have a sense of humor. But I would also like to marry someone closer to my own age. If nothing else, I have never met an older guy who didn’t treat me like a piece of meat or a potential conquest. I mean, if I was only looking for a one night stand, I’d be fine with someone wanting to use me for sex. But I’m not. It’s against my religous beliefs, and I don’t want to be used.

But…

Back to the thread!
 
In summing up my post, I think the Church has a lot better things than to try to operate a singles dating service. I also forgot to add that I’ve been told that I’m ugly, bullheaded and boring. Still no takers?
 
Anyway, back to the thread.

I’m actually surprised how many people would want their diocese to have a singles ministry!

As I stated before, I voted no. Partly because the group can simply breed competition. As another poster pointed out, it sounds like it would spawn a meat market mentality.
 
I wouldn’t mind a “meet” market, lol. I guess I want to feel included. I don’t have time to spend where I’m not wanted. I’ve gone to parish events and been the only single person there. So now I don’t go out of my way to go Mass. Why go if I’m going to be stared at like a freak show? In my parish, unless you have ring on your finger or kids, forget it. Until collection plate time. :p. Last time I checked, my initials aren’t ATM. I get these weekly letters that they send saying what you gave the past week. Awkward much?
 
valient_Lucy said:
So?

My aunt was older when she got married. She and my uncle had fertility problems due to her age, so they could only have one child. So, they adopted my wonderful cousin. If my uncle had that attitude, my aunt would never have married, and my **favorite cousin **would never have been part of my family. 😦
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If you are more compatible with people your own age, that is your perogative. However, it is also the perogative of a 45 year old male to seek out a wife young enough to have children rather than adopt, and it is not your place to criticize someone for doing so.
 
Kimothy80 said:
For real?! :eek:

That’s just tacky… :dts:
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And expensive. They would save so much money if they didn’t spend it sending letters to 3000 families weekly. Just on postage it is obscene. I’d rather give my money to a Catholic charity. or diet pills and gym membership more likely
 
Kimothy80 said:
For real?! :eek:

That’s just tacky… :dts:
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I normally only get my annual statement for taxes…

But one major pro-life organization once sent me a “statement” detailing appeals that I did not respond to in an account statement format (I even recall the envelope stating “account information”) and a request to send in a certain amount.
 
Maybe it’s just my perspective, but I think the Church needs to do something. Everyone wants good, holy, Catholic priests, but seem to overlook the fact that they generally come from good, holy, Catholic families. As time goes on, those families seem to be getting rarer and rarer and it is in the Church’s best interest to foster as many of them as she can.
 
Bataar said:
Maybe it’s just my perspective, but I think the Church needs to do something. Everyone wants good, holy, Catholic priests, but seem to overlook the fact that they generally come from good, holy, Catholic families. As time goes on, those families seem to be getting rarer and rarer and it is in the Church’s best interest to foster as many of them as she can.
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I agree with that. I don’t think a singles group is necessarily the answer, but the crisis in vocations stems from the crisis of families. People today don’t seem to realize how important they are, and how marrying and raising a family are increasingly a counterculteral decision. (I have to admit, I don’t think that gay marriage will be as damaging to the US as people think, because the damage has already been done!)

The Church in the US does need to realize that the culture at large no longer supports marriage and family life, and teaches things that are downright hostile to it.

That’s why, a few years ago, when my parish held a Eucharistic Congress to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the parish (building), we offered it in reparation for the sins committed against families.
 
valient_Lucy said:
As I stated before, I voted no. Partly because the group can simply breed competition. As another poster pointed out, it sounds like it would spawn a meat market mentality.
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It might. There might be a roster, leading to people competing for the “best” matches and so on. This being connected to religion and the practice of faith, it could have damaging effects on people’s faith. Then again, there might be better ways than operating a singles service and there’s more to single people than getting them a match up service anyway, for example guidance, which is so often needed.
Norseman82 said:
If you are more compatible with people your own age, that is your perogative. However, it is also the perogative of a 45 year old male to seek out a wife young enough to have children rather than adopt, and it is not your place to criticize someone for doing so.
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Well, Norseman, I think it is her place to offer an opinion because that’s all we do here. Everything is subject to being given an opinion on, including the perceived attitude of men wanting younger wives or the perceived attitude of women not wanting much older husbands. As for the rest, basically, while it’s the right of a man to seek a woman young enough to have children, it’s also the right of a woman to look for a husband closer to her age and blaming each other for being wrong, selfish, heartless or so, won’t solve the problem.
 
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